Ties That Bind (27 page)

“He was harmless. I could see it in his eyes. Speaking of eyes, you should've seen his when I showed him my license. Maybe my birth date has bad memories for him or something. The rest of his body language, including his face, gave away nothing, but his eyes said that date was bad news.”

The upbeat smile drained from her mother's face.

“Don't go parental on me. He was cool. So just devise some other weird mom-fear to worry over.”

Her mom didn't look convinced. “You need to be more careful.”

“Yeah, I hear you.” Skylar's phone buzzed, and she pulled it from her shorts pocket. She read the text from Cody. He had more pills and wondered about them getting together tonight. How was he scoring this much stuff without needing her to pay for it? “This weekend could we try to find that birthing clinic?”

“It burned down the day you were born.”

“Completely?” She responded to the text with a
yes.
There was no sense in trying to study. She needed a distraction…and more pills.

“I'm sure whatever was left had to be demolished.”

“Another one could've been built in its place.” She slid her phone back into her pocket.

“Maybe.” Her mom shrugged, suddenly looking as if she regretted this conversation. “I'll do some checking.”

Skylar never saw much joy in pondering any part of her conception, birth, or first few years of life. This news about the Amish clinic was the bright spot in an otherwise dismal account, and now her mom seemed weird about it.

Wouldn't it be fun to see with her own eyes the one cool thing about her birth? “Mom, you can't finally tell me this news and then drop the idea of driving there. We need to go one weekend soon. End of discussion.”

The matter was settled. If Skylar had one skill, it was talking her mom into things—at least, simple things.

Q
uill left the bank with a cashier's check. His next stop would be Lila McCormick's home, current owner of the café. He'd already talked to her, and she'd agreed to rent the café to Ariana until after the benefit.

He was done skulking around so the Amish wouldn't catch a glimpse of him when he was in town. This was public property, and he had a right to be here. Added to that, it was time he reconsidered his methods of helping people leave. When Ariana asked him why he had bound himself to such secrecy, she had caused him to reassess the value, or rather lack of it, he'd placed on his life. Helping others establish a life outside the Old Ways was a part of who he was, but he would no longer do it at the expense of having to lurk in the shadows to ensure his every step was
that
covert. He would still have to be cautious about visiting his Mamm and about helping Ariana, but other than that, if he was spotted in town, he was.

He folded the cashier's check and slid it into his pocket. His goals for the benefit were more than just making it a success so she could go to closing with the needed funds. Potential regular customers, especially the base of non-Amish ones, needed to connect the café with Ariana's baked goods and the selling of various items on the green space. That meant the café needed to be open during the auction.

He believed she was really on to something with the café. This part of Summer Grove was busy and pleasant. An Amish café should do really well.

As he headed for his car, he heard a dog barking. Was that his dog? He turned and saw his golden retriever running toward him. She pranced about in a childlike bunny hop. He laughed and knelt. “What are you doing here?” He scratched her neck as she licked his face, her whole body wriggling with excitement. Quill saw his brother lumbering his way.

Dan smiled. “While we were on the phone yesterday, you said you were going to the bank first thing today.”

Quill stood, barely getting upright before his brother clutched his shoulder and shook it, grinning. That was a bold move for Dan. He was a talker but didn't like shows of affection.

“Lexi missed you.”

Quill continued rubbing the dog's head. “So you drove hours out of your way because a dog missed me.” He knew better.

Dan crossed his arms and leaned against Quill's car. “You said all the right words on the phone yesterday. I'm relieved Salome and Emanuel have decided to stay, at least for now. But something in your tone reminded me of the months before and after you left with Frieda.”

Quill had to admit that patting Lexi and talking to his brother helped somehow. Dreading what it was going to do to Ariana to learn that she wasn't a Brenneman and, worse, that she was part of what sounded like a dysfunctional family ate at him like nothing else.

Dan propped his foot on the curb. “You've been down a tough road once before where you were on your own coping with nightmares. I don't want that to happen to you again.”

Quill rubbed Lexi's ears. “I appreciate it.” And he did, but that didn't mean he was free to talk about what was going on.

“Regina said I would leave here not knowing much more than when I arrived.” Dan scratched his close-shaven cheek with his left hand, and his gold wedding ring gleamed under the bright sun. “But while telling me that, she was packing food for me to bring to you and throwing some clean clothes in a bag in case I needed to stay for a few days.”

Of his four brothers and sisters-in-law, Dan and Regina came the closest to understanding him. “Is any of that food left, or did you eat it all on the way here?”

“I'm not here to talk about food.”

Quill felt the hardness of stress give way to a little humor. “Won't talk about what no longer exists?”

“It's a long ride, okay?”

They laughed, and Quill was sure Dan had saved at least half of the food Regina had packed.

Dan pulled sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on. “You gave no reason on the phone for needing to stay here this week, despite me asking.”

“I'll be able to get to the job site in Mingo by Wednesday and finish wiring a few homes before I need to return here. That'll be the pattern for a while, but I can juggle work as needed.”

“I know that.” Dan sighed. “Whatever's changed your plans and caused you to stay, how bad is it?”

When Lexi lay on the ground, feet skyward, Quill knelt and rubbed her belly. He didn't want to admit to himself, let alone anyone else, the answer Dan was looking for. “Bad.”

“Subject?”

“Ariana.”

Dan's cheeks puffed out as he released a long stream of air. “That explains a lot. But if Salome and Emanuel are staying, she should be good, right? Maybe she's angry with you but other than that she's fine.”

“Something unrelated has come up.” Quill stood. He hated not being able to tell her the truth, and yet he dreaded the day when she would learn it. The other day he'd snapped a picture with his phone, and she didn't have a clue. When it was time to approach Skylar's family, he might need a picture of Ariana to show them. The whole situation, and his part in it, made him sick.

“Is she okay?”

Quill moved beside his brother and leaned against the car. It was nice not having to hide for fear some Amish might see him. “As it stands, she's clueless. When the news hits…it could be worse than the fallout with Frieda.”

“Unlike with Frieda, Daed didn't leave her as your responsibility.”

Quill pulled the keys out of his pocket and stood. “I need to go. I'll do everything I can to get the jobs done on time, but Ariana comes first.” He opened the car door, and Lexi pushed past him and jumped in. “Lexi, no. Come on, girl. Out. You can't go with me.”

She stood on the seat, angling her head as if confused.

“I'm sorry.” Dan put his hand on Quill's shoulder. “That was out of line.”

Quill turned. “I'll be back at work on Wednesday.”

“Look, I'm not here because of the stupid job list. And for you, in one way or another, Ariana has come first since the dawn of time, and I'm okay with that. But you gotta think about yourself too. You do all you can for Mom, Frieda, and the Amish who ask for your help. But I'm not sure you ever pause to ask yourself what you need.”

“I need to help Ariana.” He shrugged. “It's that simple and that complicated.”

“It sounds as if you've been talking to her this time.”

Quill nodded. “Yeah. We've had some healthy arguments and made a few necessary agreements.”

“That's great. Hard to believe but very welcome news. Any chance of getting closure? Because you have to let go of this life.”

“Yeah? Like you've let go, Dan? Because you and I both know there is no letting go of our childhood, of the people who loved us and we loved and left behind. We would do it again, but there's no freedom from the remorse or pain of it. All any of us can do is learn to live with it.”

“The rest of us have learned to live with it while building a real life and a future. You haven't.”

Quill stared at his oldest brother. There was a huge difference. His brothers left because they chose to. Quill left because circumstances forced him to. He and Frieda didn't connect with his brothers until two years after leaving Summer Grove. Mostly he worked days and stayed by Frieda's hospital bed at night. She healed physically before she gained any emotional strength. When she was finally strong enough to face people again, Quill moved her to an apartment in Kentucky, and he moved in with Dan until he could afford to rent a small home. When his brothers had left Summer Grove, each one took his girl with him or found a wife once he was living among the Englisch. Quill had left his girl behind, and now she needed him.

“I have to go.” But he couldn't get in the car until Lexi got out, and she stood there watching him, wagging her tail while her brown eyes begged to stay.

“Believe it or not, Quill, I didn't come to complain. It's hard pulling away like we have. It yanks out every thread in this stupid patchwork quilt of our childhood. Some of us have had an easier time adjusting than others, but you…you make it so much harder by coming back and trying to fix what can't be fixed. It doesn't matter how many people you help. At the end of the day, you only open fresh wounds in yourself.”

“It matters to the people who are being helped. If I make it harder on me, that's my problem.”

Dan went around to the passenger side and climbed into the car. Quill got behind the wheel and closed the door. The dog sat between them, looking happy and perking her ears.

“Wrong. It's our problem—you, me, and our brothers. Erastus, Leon, and Elam are on the construction site in Mingo, hoping I don't botch this visit. My plan in coming here was to listen and to encourage.”

“Don't give up your day job.”

“Yeah, I hear you. According to Regina, I can be rather dense about such matters, but she loves me anyway—just like I love you. So tell me, what can I do to help?”

“Ariana needs at least five thousand dollars to buy the old café here in town. In reality, to get the business operational and to cover overhead for a few months, she needs closer to ten thousand. The plan is for her to have a benefit.”

“We're a little tapped out from all the prep work for Salome and Emanuel leaving, but we can at least pull together five thousand.”

A three-bedroom, two-bath house had been rented for them with the first and last months' rent paid. Deposits had been paid so that electricity, gas, water, and phones were already operational. A vehicle had been purchased and insured, and Quill had been paying months of health insurance for the family. All were things people needed in the modern world. Emanuel would pay it all back…after he got his feet under him in the outside world. Of course at this point, he might not leave. Should they cancel everything? Which would be more expensive, paying for everything or letting it go and having to start fresh if they decided to leave in a few months?

The
we
Dan referred to was Quill's four brothers and sisters-in-law.

“I appreciate it, but it's about more than cash. She needs to feel supported by the community and powerful within herself.” He turned the key and pushed a button to lower both windows.

“So what's the plan?”

“A benefit here in Summer Grove, Saturday after next.”

Dan whistled. “In less than two weeks?”

“No wiggle room in the schedule.”

“I'll put ads in the paper about the benefit, and I'll call home and get everyone busy making items to auction off.”

One thing about being former Amish, his Kentucky family knew what needed to be done to hold an Amish benefit. “Now you're talking. If you still have connections inside city hall, we're going to need permits for the café and fast.”

“I'll jump on that this morning.”

“Thanks. The job site being only a couple of hours from here has been helpful since Mamm went into the hospital.”

“Very true, but the only one who doesn't mind staying in the Mingo temp house throughout the workweek is your dog.”

“Speaking of Mingo, how many houses have the framing inspection done and are ready for wiring?”

“Two. Could be three by Wednesday. I'll line up a crew to help you.”

“I appreciate it, Dan.”

“Of course you do.” His brother grinned. “But this Brenneman family is costly.”

“All family is costly. Haven't you figured that out yet?”

“I have, but most of us get a few perks for our sacrifices.”

“Wimps need rewards.”

Dan laughed. “Your owner made a joke.” He rubbed Lexi's head. “Can you believe it?”

Quill's phone buzzed, and he pulled it from his pocket. The community number again.

Dan peered around Lexi. “What time—”

Quill held up his index finger to his brother while he answered the phone. “Hello.”