Ties That Bind (34 page)
The lights of a car pulling into the cemetery illuminated some of the gravestones, and she saw the blue and red flashes indicating it was a police car. But she had just called 911.
The white Jeep Cherokee pulled to a screeching stop, and Gage jumped out, gun drawn, scanning the area for her. When he saw her, he started running. Cautiously. Looking from side to side for danger, just liked he’d been trained. But fast.
When he got near her, he slowed, spying the body of her father on the ground.
“Oh, Sam,” he said. Then he stepped in cautiously, checking for a pulse. He just shook his head, telling her what she already knew.
“It was him, Gage. It was my father. All this time. It started with Callie, and he drove my mother insane. Have there been others through the years? Every time a teenager died by hanging, was it him?”
Gage just shook his head and pulled her in close, holding her tightly. An investigation would be held. What secrets would come out she didn’t know. It wouldn’t be good. She realized she was shivering, and tears flowed down her face.
She’d never shot anyone before.
And the first time she did, it was her own father.
And the Montgomery girls were finally free.
FORTY-THREE
Later, much later, as Sam sobbed in Gage’s arms, she struggled for understanding and acceptance.
“Why didn’t I remember all this until now?” she asked him, between deep, shaky breaths.
“I can’t tell you that. But you were so young. I remember waking up one night and finding out the sun was up. I wanted to go outside and play, but my dad wouldn’t let me. I remember it as plain as day. Did it happen? No. But it doesn’t make it less real.”
“It’s not exactly the same thing, Gage.”
“No, but you were six. So little to see something so traumatic. How much do you remember about yourself at that age? Not much, is my guess. It wouldn’t be that hard to forget this. Why would you want to remember it?”
Why would anyone want to?
Sam sighed. “I’m damaged. Damaged goods. Why would you want to be with me? Things aren’t going to suddenly get easier. I have very little left. I’m a loner. And I don’t do relationships. I’m not that kind of girl.”
Gage pulled her tighter, held her, and then pushed her away, so she was staring into his eyes, his hands on her shoulders. “Why do you think I got you that pink gun? What do you get a woman like you, to show her that you love her? Especially after you’ve hurt her. How do you make amends?”
Sam looked up at him as though he had touched her physically with his words. “Love?”
“Yes, Sam, love. I love you more than I’ve ever loved any other woman, and I wouldn’t change anything about you. I love your body, and your hair, and your spirit, and the fact you struggle to eat and yet manage to make yourself stay well. I love that you can shoot a gun better than most men, and that you can take down a perp in two seconds flat, and that you can swear better than most guy cops. But I also know you’re real, and vulnerable. And all woman.”
“But I—”
“Just don’t talk anymore. Instead, listen. Listen to what my heart is telling you. I missed you when you left Salt Lake City. It felt like you moved to Russia.”
“But—”
“You just can’t stop talking, can you?”
“Would you please let me say this?” she asked, her voice a whisper.
“Okay,” he said, his voice a quiet rumble.
“I know.”
“You know?”
“I know why you pulled me off the Clarkston case. I know you were worried about me. I don’t know how to have anyone worry about me.”
“Well, if you know that, then you also know I love you and I would do anything to keep you safe. And that’s what I intend to do for the rest of my life.”
He wrapped his arms around her, nearly suffocating her. She wanted to push him away, put up her defenses, but she also wanted to just let everything go. He traced the outline of her breasts and began stroking her nipple. Sam felt as though he were massaging her heart. Warmth flowed through her body, and a tingle made her shiver.
“I can feel your heart,” he whispered.
You’re safe. Safe
.
* * *
Sam stared down at the body of her dead mother, saying her final good-byes. She carried Gage’s voice around with her, saying those precious words. It would help her get through the day.
This was just for her. There would be no viewing. No traditional Mormon funeral. She’d arranged for a simple graveside service, attending by a nondenominational preacher.
Never again would Sam allow this religion to be a part of her life.
To Sam’s surprise, or perhaps not, Susanna had argued against this. She had also argued they owed their father a funeral. Sam told her that one would be up to her.
The argument had been on the phone, since Susanna was still at the hospital with Whitney night and day. Physically, there was nothing she could do to change Sam’s plans, because Susanna would not leave her daughter’s side.
The mortician was hovering around behind Sam, muttering. He’d been very upset when she had insisted on redressing her mother. The body had been rigid and difficult to undress, and removing the temple clothing was a chore.
Sam had come prepared.
She had a pair of scissors, and she sliced it all up—the garments, the sash, the white dress—cutting it off and pulling it out from under the body of her dead mother.
Getting the beautiful floral purple dress—the one Sam’s mother had never had the opportunity to wear—on the rigid body proved to be yet another challenge. While Sam was struggling with it, another pair of hands, a woman’s hands, came into sight.
Sam turned to see her sister Amy standing beside her, tears pooling along her lower lids.
She’d finally come home. But Sam didn’t think she would stay. This was no longer her home.
Her business here was finished.
They didn’t talk. Just finished putting the dress on their mother. The strand of purple beads went on next.
Amy pulled a brush out of her purse and gently ran it through Ruthie Montgomery’s hair. Then Amy pulled some lipstick out of her bag and put it on Ruthie’s lips. Bright magenta, a “garish” color the girls’ father had never allowed. After Amy was done, she dropped the tube into the casket.
Together, Amy and Sam held each other and cried, and then nodded to the funeral director to close the casket.
“What do we do now?” Amy whispered to Sam.
“We say good-bye to Mom and Callie. We forgive ourselves, and we start to live again.”
Also by
NATALIE R. COLLINS
Wives and Sisters
Behind Closed Doors
Praise for the electrifying thrillers of
NATALIE R. COLLINS
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
“An intense, suspenseful, character-driven mystery that I couldn’t put down. Collins expertly weaves a journey of self-acceptance with a page-turning mystery.”
—Allison Brennan, author of
The Kill
“Collins doesn’t just treat readers to a taut, compelling mystery, she gives us a riveting look at the very heart of contemporary Mormonism. This book is not, however, fired by an apostate’s anger, but rather by one pilgrim’s bittersweet search for true justice, faith, and community in the wake of her own brutal loss of innocence.”
—Cornelia Read, author of
A Field of Darkness
WIVES AND SISTERS
“Startling and compelling—I could not stop turning the pages.”
—Tess Gerritsen,
New York Times
bestselling
author
“Dark, powerful … Natalie Collins pulls no emotional punches crafting this searing tale of one woman’s search for justice.”
—Lisa Gardner,
New York Times
bestselling author
“A white-knuckles ride all the way. Expert depiction of a young woman’s struggle with the oppressive ‘family values’ of one kind of fundamentalism. Newcomer Collins is a talent to watch.”
—
Kirkus Reviews
“By anyone’s measure a gripping story, one that is hard to put down, and one that lingers in the mind long after.”
—
Indianapolis Star
“This is a book written with skill and passion and … it will resonate with women who have never set foot inside a Mormon church.”
—
Washington Times
“The end of the book … was perfection itself.
Wives and Sisters
is clearly one of the year’s best books; riveting at times, painful at times, realistic always, and completely unforgettable. It not only makes you cry, it makes you think, which is my personal hallmark of an excellent read. Natalie R. Collins has emerged as one of the finest new authors I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading.”
—
Rendezvous
“Don’t be surprised if you devour this book in one reading. Natalie Collins has captured the essence of a page-turner by giving us three-dimensional characters, plenty of action, and a healthy dose of controversy.”
—
Midwest Book Review
“Collins … draws readers in with her strong writing and compelling plot.
Wives and Sisters
stirs up emotions in the reader that will resonate long after he or she has closed the book.”
—
January Magazine
“Heart-wrenching and suspenseful …
Wives and Sisters
is a gripping tale.”
—
River Walk Journal
“This is not a book that can be put down. It’s so compelling, so dramatic, with strong suspense and mystery elements, that I had to find out what would happen.… It’s written with a frightening intensity. I had to check the locks before I could go to sleep after finishing.”
—Perri O’Shaughnessy,
New York Times
bestselling author
“
Wives and Sisters
is a journey through heartbreak, tragedy, and self-discovery with a courageous woman who dares to think for herself.”
—Tina Wainscott, author of
I’ll Be Watching You
“The most astonishing thing about Natalie Collins’s
Wives and Sisters
is not that it tells such a dramatic tale of betrayal, fundamentalism, denial, and abuse, but that it all rings so true. She perfectly captures the mixture of love, pain, and frustration that accompany surviving trauma in a society where victims are often silenced.”
—Martha Beck, author of
Leaving the Saints:
How I Lost the Mormons and Found My Faith
“A raw, emotional story … It puts a plain, unvarnished face on the secret workings of the human soul and the price of blind faith.”
“Well-written, fast-paced, Natalie Collins’s
Wives and Sisters
is suspense-filled satisfaction with a bone-chilling, thought-provoking similarity to recent events.… [It] tugs at the heart and pulls at the mind. Author Natalie R. Collins, with the skill of the masters, splashes truth, and warnings against dangers of concealing truth, onto the pages of this must-read thriller.”
“The author brings authentic color and gripping detail to her book which underscore the very real mentality of protecting the Church at all costs.”
—
Tucson Citizen
“
Wives and Sisters
is an amazing achievement … Natalie R. Collins is an author that we shall be seeing great things from in the future.”
About the Author
In addition to
Ties That Bind,
NATALIE R. COLLINS
has eight published books, including the critically acclaimed
Wives and Sisters
. She is currently working on her next one … or two … or three. She has dabbled in both dark suspense thrillers and cozy mysteries, and is happy to be able to work in both genres. Natalie spent five years as an editor at the Sundance Film Festival, has worked in journalism, and is currently working to get her degree in graphic design. She was born and raised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and thus understands both the culture and the moral climate.