Ties That Bind: A Muse Urban Fantasy (The Veil Series Book 5) (10 page)

J
erry sat
close enough that I could pick out delicate flickers on the trailing edges of his tattoos where they hugged his otherwise brutally masculine face. The campfire crackled to my right, and somewhere outside our circle, a lesser demon snarled, but all of my thoughts were filled with Jerry and what was to come.

“Akil told me there were two ways of removing a soul lock.” I spoke softly, but I still feared the breeze might carry the words into the netherworld and to the princes. “The first would likely kill me. The second was like surgery. He said it takes great control.”

Jerry’s lips curved into a smile. “You’re in safe hands.”

“When he removed Damien, he used my—erm—my talent for lust to hide the pain.” I gulped and flicked my gaze between Jerry’s hands as he slowly raised them level with my cheeks. At least he was human. Had he not reverted to his demon-self, I wasn’t sure I could have sat so close and looked him in the eyes.

“What I am about to do could kill you, but given your resilience, I doubt you’ll succumb.”

Oh, lovely.
He touched his warm hands to my cheeks and splayed his fingers wide. My smoldering skin had no effect on him. My little demon heart galloped. Peering into the King of Hell’s eyes with mere inches between us was no mean feat. I knew, without looking, that my fiery veins blazed. My element was trapped beneath the press of the symbols, but inside, it churned, sensing apprehension.

“Will it hurt?” This was the netherworld. I already knew the answer.

Jerry’s lips ticked. “Do you remember when I hypnotized you?”

I huffed a small laugh. “Yeah.”

“This begins in a similar way. I will be attempting two things. The first is a summoning, to gather Mammon’s immortal soul to one specific point inside of you, a focal point, if you like. It’s similar to how you would use a flame to summon a demon through the veil.”

My face tingled.
Something
moved beneath his touch. A fluttery chitter sounded at the back of my throat. I wanted to pull away but held fast. I could trust Jerry.
Trust the King of Hell! When did that become okay?

“The second is more trying.” He swallowed, but his gaze didn’t waver. “I must remove his grip on you. He’ll fight my attempts. Souls are stubborn and Mammon’s even more so. Once I’ve pried him out, the summoning will anchor him here, and if all goes well, Mammon will manifest. But Muse, it may take time for his memories to settle. He is an immortal chaos demon. You are a blink in the span of his long life. He may not immediately recognize you.”

Way to make a girl feel special.
“What do I do?”

“Sit still, and keep your fire alive. The fire—your element and his—will fuel his return.”

“And if it goes wrong?”

His lips twitched again. “Don’t let it. Close your eyes. Remember Ahkeel. Remember Mammon.”

Eyes closed, I listened to my breath and Jerry’s. My heartbeat galloped. The sounds of the netherworld night soaked into my thoughts. Before Mammon, I’d witnessed the netherworld through the bars of a cage. The netherworld had been a nightmare to my young demon mind, pure terror. My cage was safe. My owners protected me. I’d thanked them for their kindness even as they beat me, for what was I? A half-blood slave. A lesser thing diseased with human and weak. But Mammon, he’d found me. He unlocked my cage. He taught me about the human world and gave me the tools to survive. He set me free. When I’d first seen him, I’d thought him a truly magnificent beast: skin, obsidian black, veins alight with fire, and wings so broad, so powerful, he could embrace a world—or so it had seemed. He was the one who’d taught me how to wield fire as a weapon. In Boston, Akil had taught me how to be human. How to live. How humans fought for their beliefs. How to laugh, to cry, to feel…to love. He was my world, my everything. Without him, I’d still be in that cage. I’d still be that wretched half-blood plaything with no hope but to die.

Human emotions overwhelmed my demon body. Molten tears escaped my closed eyes. Jerry’s touch sank through my skin and dove inside. I opened to him. As the fire flared bright and hot, I let him sink deep into my center through the fear, the doubt, the love, the regret… Through everything. The fire hissed and spat against the intrusion of control.
Emotion
. I let it happen, let myself feel the things I’d kept hidden for so long. I let it go: the disgust for what I had once been, the regret for a demon life I’d left behind, and the love—the wicked, destructive love for a Prince of Hell. Yes, I loved him. It was a dangerous, dark love. It wasn’t wrong to love Akil. Love could never be wrong. But it could be poisonous if I let it.

The rich scent of cinnamon and the warm, spicy hint of cloves laced my nose and throat. Memories blasted. So many memories. Akil driving a sword through Sam’s chest. Akil standing on the harbor’s edge, watching as I plummeted into the cold, dark waters. Akil striding through a fleeing crowd as a dragon-demon scorched the skies over Boston. I remembered punching him, biting him, the salty taste of his blood in my mouth. And I remembered how he’d pleaded with me not to leave him, how he needed me, and how I’d tasted him anew. How his touch had trembled, how he’d whispered ancient words as his body moved inside mine, how he’d pulled me close, how I’d slept cradled against him, his arm curled protectively around me. He had always been there. Always so close when I’d needed him. He’d only ever been himself. A manipulative, deceitful, powerful, Prince of Hell. I could never blame him for being who he was, what he was. If anything, I’d been the one who couldn’t decide who or what I was.

Fire—his—flooded my veins. Pain danced through my body. I jerked, teeth clamped, back arched, but Jerry held on. He spoke softly, quickly, his smooth voice serene inside the chaos. I heard Akil’s luscious accent, the way he threatened and teased in the same breath. There was nobody and nothing like him in the netherworld or on earth. He had to come back. Even if it had all been for himself.

“Muse…”

The fire cooled, spluttered. What if I was wrong? What if I was bringing back a monster? What if it had never been love?

“Muse, hold the fire. Don’t let it go.” Jerry’s words fluttered like moths. What if Akil was a lie? All of him. The smile, the sex, the promises, the confessions. Li’el had warned me. Jerry too. I knew what Akil was capable of. He was the Prince of Greed. He got his wants, and he’d had an immortal lifetime to perfect his tactics. What if I was blind to the truth? This was on me. If I brought him back, and he—“Muse, this is not the time for doubts”—was entirely demon. What if he stood beside my father?

“Muse, if you pull back now, he’ll be gone. You’ll never get him back. Do you hear me? Don’t falter. You haven’t come this far to fail now. You made a choice. Live with it.”

I had. Jerry was right.
Come back, you lying bastard. Come back, and face me. Good or bad, truth or lies, come back, and answer to me, Prince of Greed, of Lies. Mammon, death does not absolve you.

The moment he vacated my soul, a cool blast of relief surged through me, tingling through muscle, cleansing my body from the inside out. I doubled over, almost taking Jerry with me, and braced myself against the earth. Lightness breezed over me, a sigh in recognition of something fundamental, and for a few seconds, I couldn’t begin to understand it. I’d never known it before…

Freedom.

I. Was. Free.

No owner. No soul-lock. Just me. In my own demon skin.

I started laughing, even as Jerry urged me to stand. He sounded agitated, his orders urgent, but I couldn’t think about him. The little half-blood creature who’d cowered in the dark had finally risen from the ashes of an old life. I was new. I was me. Complete. And free. Finally, wholly free.

A huge black hand scooped me up. Fingers locked tight around my throat and dangled me at arm’s length. Mammon grinned. His saber-fangs gleamed. He fanned his lava-veined wings and eyed me with hungry flame-filled eyes. Like a damned rag doll, my legs flailed uselessly in the air.
What the hell?

Mammon punched me down into the earth with a blow that would have instantly killed me had I been human. My left horn took most of the impact, as did my left shoulder, wing, and hip. The grip around my throat had gone. Instincts surged, and hooking a knee under me, I levered myself up and bolted. I managed two steps before my wing snagged. My legs tripped out from under me, and I was hauled backward. I reached for fire and flame, but none came inside Jerry’s sanctum.

Mammon held me aloft by my wing. “Little half-blood deceiver.” His voice bubbled and snarled around sharp teeth.

I kicked out and swung for him, but he stood outside my pathetic reach. “Mammon, let me go!”

His lips curled, carving a smile into his savage face. “You killed thousands of my kin.”

No, no…
What was this? Why was he treating me like the enemy? “Don’t you remember? I did that to stop the battle, to protect Boston. You were there. We fought together.”

His molten eyes narrowed. “I fought beside my King. Not a half blood.”

“Don’t you know me?”

“I know you. Mother of Destruction. Asmodeus’s daughter. Valenti’s sister. Deathbringer. Demonkiller.”

This was not how I imagined our reunion. Dangling by my one wing, I craned my neck for Jerry and saw him behind me, leaning against one of the stone uprights, with apparently no intention of intervening. “Jerry… Help me. Explain to Mammon what happened.”

Jerry blinked and uncrossed his arms. With a weary sigh, he ran a hand over his shaven head, pushed away from the stone, and came toward me. “Mammon, Muse saved your soul. You owe her a debt. I need her to retrieve the queen. Do not harm her.” He said each word calmly, precisely, with no hint of emotion. Control.

Mammon’s jaw worked, and the fire tracing through his body flared just that little bit higher. “She is destruction.”

“She is also human, which makes her reasonable… Most of the time. You told me in the past to trust her. Remember her, Greed. Remember all of her, not just what you see before you.”

I dangled limply in his grip. I’d have given anything to have strength like his. I was fast, agile, but tiny, compared to Mammon. He’d well and truly caught me, and without my element, I was weak, fragile, demon…
I’m just demon
… Akil.

“Where’s Akil?” I demanded. Both Jerry and Mammon looked at me like I’d just asked them where they’d buried a body. “I know he’s in there.”

Mammon’s smile faded. “Ahkeel was a vessel of my creation. That vessel perished to save you.”

“No.”
Goddammit, this wasn’t how it was meant to be.
“No. You listen to me, Mammon.” I pointed a finger, as ridiculous as the gesture was while dangling from his grip. “If he’s only a vessel, you can bring him back. Make him again. Do whatever it is you do to create a human body in the first place. Bring. Akil. Back.”

“You are insolent,” he grumbled.

“And you’re a huge pain in my ass.” Something like a snort erupted from Jerry, but I dared not look away from Mammon. Looking away was a weakness. I was not letting that big-ass, lava-veined, obsidian-skinned demon ruin everything. “Do it, or kill me because the second I leave this circle, I’m going to rip every last filament of fire right out of your volcanic skin. I’m going to swallow it all, and I’m going to tell the princes exactly where to find the impotent Prince of Greed, so they can tear you off your ego trip all over again because that was so much fun for you last time. Wasn’t it?”

His grip on my wing tightened. Bone creaked, muscles burned, and for a horrible moment, I thought he’d snap my wing in two. I gasped. Jerry lunged, and somehow got between us with the elemental blade. Mammon dropped me. I landed on my ass with a jarring thump.

“Greed, we need her. She speaks the truth. She can and will tear you down. Give her what she wants, and together, bring me my queen.”

Mammon regarded Jerry with a curl of his lip. “The mighty king reduced to an alliance with a half blood.”

“
The
half blood, Mammon. The one-winged Mother of Destruction. The half-demon girl you were tasked to watch. The girl you took to Boston. The girl you taught to be human. Remember, you obstinate fool. Remember it all, or be prepared to lose everything. Asmodeus wants my title. If he succeeds, the netherworld will never be healed, and all of this”— he tossed a hand out—“will devour the human world. You know it to be so. The princes will never stop. You were with them, once. You helped them bring about this unbalance. Make it right, Mammon. You, above all the elementals, are the one who can. Remember how you were as Ahkeel. Remember the things you wanted. Remember everything of their world that you coveted. Their freedom, their imagination. Remember your greed for their lives.”

Mammon gave a snuffled
humph
and ruffled his wings. He turned away and paused along the fringe of the circle. Was he about to leave? I glanced at Jerry, but he glared at Mammon, a twitch fluttering in his cheek.

I flicked my wing, working out the aches, and stiffly got to my feet. “How hard can it be?” I swept a hand over my arms and gave myself a shake, dislodging bits of debris and dirt. “Sexy guy, sexy suit, the smooth tongue, the lies. Mix it all together.
Voila
. Akil.”

“He was unique.” Mammon grumbled, sending his gaze into the dark beyond the circle.

Gritting my teeth, I growled. “Yes, he is. Now give him back.”

Mammon stretched his wings wide. He rolled his shoulders and seemed to marvel at the rivulets of fire chasing beneath his skin. “He was me.” He lifted his gaze. “I know those feelings he had for you. Maddening insanity.”

“Coward.”

Mammon snarled. “He ended us for you. He is dangerous.”

“He said the same about you once. Look, I don’t know if you’re him, or he’s you. I don’t care. I’m not leaving here without him. Your king has given you an order. I will destroy you. You do not have a choice.” It seemed choice was a rare commodity these days.

Mammon cocked his head. His veins flared the way mine often did when battling my own turmoil. He was afraid. I saw it then: the truth. An immortal chaos demon was afraid of being human. I couldn’t blame him. I’d been on both sides, and being human was a lot more difficult than it looked. Demon was easy. Demon was simple. Human was…terrifying.