Authors: Catrin Collier
‘Peter never loved me.’ She finally broke the silence that hung between them. ‘He only married me to get his damned parish.’
‘You’re sure about that?’
‘Of course I am.’ She only thought about Micah’s question after she had answered it. Sustained by her anger towards Peter, his mother, the barren, loveless life she had found herself enmeshed in, she blamed Peter entirely for the whole sorry mess of their marriage.
Logic dictated that she was as much to blame as Peter for rushing up the aisle on such a short acquaintance. But she didn’t want to be logical. Or think how things might have turned out if she’d stayed in Swansea when her parents had taken her to college instead of running to Peter in Tiger Bay.
‘As I see it, you were the one who chased after Peter, not the other way around.’ He offered her a cigarette, she took it.
‘I didn’t know you smoked.’
‘Sometimes.’ He struck a match and lit first her cigarette and then his own. ‘Peter loves you as much as it is possible for a man like him to love a woman.’
‘You expect me to believe that?’
‘It’s the truth. It’s not Peter’s fault that he is the way he is. He didn’t choose to be a homosexual any more than you chose to be clumsy. He was born that way. Some men love women, some love men. And provided no one is forced to do anything against their will, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.’
‘The healthy, liberal, Scandinavian attitude to free love,’ she sneered. ‘I’ve read about your country’s obsession with nudity.’
‘Is getting everything out in the open any worse than criminalising a man for something he can’t help, and gaoling him for his passions, as you do in this country?’
‘So you think it was all right for Peter to marry me to get his parish?’
‘Of course not, Edyth,’ he interrupted. ‘But I believe that Peter felt he had no choice. You were the one who came down the Bay in the middle of the night and stayed until your parents gave you permission to marry him.’
‘He’d already asked me to become his wife, because he wanted the parish.’
‘I’m only his friend, and a comparatively new one at that, but when Peter first came down the Bay there was a certain amount of, not scandal exactly –’
‘Gossip?’ she finished acidly.
‘Peter’s reputation preceded him. We have a fair number of men like him living in the Bay – I don’t know what I’m saying; living everywhere, and not just Wales or Britain – the world. And whatever you’ve heard, it’s not a sickness, Edyth.’
‘I didn’t say it was,’ she said sullenly.
‘But the Bishop thinks it is. And he and the Dean forced Peter, under threat of losing his job, to go and see a doctor. What he did to Peter was barbaric.’
‘What did he do?’ she asked, needing to know.
‘They call it electric shock aversion therapy. The use of pain, or in some people’s opinion, including mine, torture. It’s designed to make men conform to the pattern laid down by the Church and modern society. Just when Peter decided that he couldn’t take any more of the Church’s prescribed “treatment,” the doctor declared him “cured” and told him to go off and get married to make sure he’d never stray again. Believe what you want to, Edyth, but I know that Peter married you loving you more than any other woman he’d ever met.’
She considered what Micah said. Recalled Peter’s nervousness whenever she kissed him, his insistence they wait to consummate their marriage. The more she thought about their courtship and honeymoon, the more she saw anxiety in every move Peter had made.
‘Edyth, you’re kind and compassionate, you want to help the world and already you’ve made a difference to some people’s lives in the Bay. You, not Peter, welcomed Anna and the other girls’ children into Sunday school. You opened your home and your heart to Judy when she needed a home and a job.’
‘It was those qualities that led me to marry Peter.’ She was unable to keep the bitterness from her voice.
‘Think about what he must be feeling now. Knowing what you have seen and that he has lost your respect –’
‘How do you know what I saw?’
‘Because I went to see Peter.’
‘When?’ she demanded.
‘When Anna sent for me, I went straight to her house. You were upstairs. I didn’t want to interrupt you, so I walked to the vicarage.’ For the first time she detected emotion in his voice – anger and condemnation – and much as she would have liked to pretend it didn’t affect her, it did. If Micah had any respect left for her after she had kissed him, it had certainly evaporated now.
‘You told Peter where I was? What I’d done?’
‘I told him you were safe with friends. He was in his study, worried sick about where you’d gone. I have never seen a man looking so lost or broken. Think what it must have been like for him to have lived a lie all this time, Edyth. Knowing that if he went out and sought a lover he could be sent to gaol. You do know that men can be imprisoned, even if they both consent and they make love in private.’
‘I read the papers.’
‘Do you still love Peter?’
‘How can I? At the moment I feel that I have never really known him.’ She recalled Bella’s wedding, how envious she had been of Toby’s love for Bella. How she had wished for a man who would love her as Toby loved her sister. And then she had seen Peter: young, good-looking, charming …
Had she fitted Peter into a Prince Charming mould to suit herself? Fallen in love with the idea of being in love, not with Peter himself? It had all happened so quickly between them. Even the night before they had married, she was conscious of how little time they had spent together. How little she knew him.
She had assumed it was pre-wedding nerves. How much heartache could she have avoided if she had listened to Harry and called off the wedding?
‘Peter was terrified of hurting you. That’s why he kept Mrs Mack on. She saw him with Constable Jones the day after the Reverend Richards went to hospital. She threatened to go to the police and tell you if he didn’t raise her wages and allow her to carry on working as housekeeper in the vicarage.’
‘He told her to pack her bags and go just before I left for Anna’s,’ she murmured.
‘Then let’s hope her next stop is in Scotland. Do you feel anything for Peter now?’
‘Sorry for him.’ She pulled the ashtray out of the dashboard and rested her cigarette on it.
‘Then tell him just that. It would mean a great deal to him if you could forgive him for marrying you, Edyth.’
‘If he thought he was “cured” it was hardly his fault.’ She laughed suddenly, surprising even herself. ‘When you think of it, Micah, Peter and I made quite a pair. The naive schoolgirl and the almost-equally-naive vicar thinking that all he needed was a wedding certificate to change his life.’
‘Can I drive you back to the vicarage?’
‘Yes.’ She stubbed out her cigarette and closed the ashtray.
‘Just one more thing, Edyth. He doesn’t need to know about you and Charlie.’
‘No one needs to know about me and Charlie.’
‘You needn’t worry, Anna and the girls won’t tell anyone about it. I checked.’
‘Unless someone comes looking for the vicar’s wife,’ she said drily.
‘I can’t speak for Charlie,’ he said quietly.
She pictured Charlie as she had last seen him, dead to the world, half-naked and snoring on Colleen’s bed. She doubted he’d even remember what had happened. ‘About Charlie –’
‘You don’t have to tell me the details, Edyth,’ he interrupted harshly.
‘No, I don’t.’
‘I’d rather you didn’t mention it again.’
‘I won’t unless someone else brings it up. Please, Micah, drive me to the vicarage.’
Micah stopped his van outside the front door of the vicarage. Edyth looked at him when he put on the handbrake, but he was staring resolutely straight ahead, at the lamp on the wall.
‘Are you coming in?’
‘No, you told me that the only people who know what is going on inside a marriage are the two concerned. This is between you and Peter.’
‘I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you, Micah.’
‘You would have come to your senses sooner or later, Edyth. If Peter wants to talk to me, or thinks that I can do anything to help him, he knows where to find me.’
Edyth opened the door and stepped out. Micah released the handbrake and drove off. She stood and watched until the van turned out of sight, then faced the vicarage. The moment she opened the door, Judy ran into the hall and Edyth sensed she had been waiting for her.
‘I’m so glad you’re home, Mrs Slater. I think Reverend Slater is ill. I wanted to send for the doctor but he refused to let me telephone him.’
‘Is he in his study?’ Edyth took off her coat and hat.
‘Yes.’
‘Where’s Mrs Mack?’
‘I haven’t seen her. But she could be up in her room. I haven’t checked there.’
‘Mrs Slater?’ Edyth asked, wishing she had time to talk to Judy and explain what had happened. Better she hear it from her than someone else. And when she did, maybe she or her uncles wouldn’t want her to stay on in the house. Not if Mrs Mack told everyone on the Bay just what she’d seen Peter doing that evening, and how much of a sham their marriage was.
‘Mrs Slater senior came in from the Mothers’ Union meeting about an hour ago. She wanted to see Reverend Slater but he wouldn’t talk to her. I made her tea and a sandwich and she went up to her room. She asked me to remind you to call in and see her when you went upstairs. She said she could feel one of her sore throats coming on. I offered to make her a hot drink and poultice but she said she didn’t want one.’
Edyth suspected that her mother-in-law had refused Judy’s offer because she wanted to send her running up and down stairs in the early hours as punishment for going out to lunch with Bella and Toby. Anything to cause maximum upset and chaos when she’d been crossed in some way. But the last thing she wanted to think about was Peter’s mother’s hypochondria. As for the events of the afternoon, time and Mrs Mack would tell whether or not they could be kept from her.
‘Thank you for looking after everyone, Judy, but I’m back now. You can go to bed.’ Edyth went to Peter’s study door. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask how your shopping went.’
‘Fine, Mrs Slater. I hope you don’t mind, but I called in at Uncle Jed’s.’
‘Of course I don’t mind, Judy I told you that you can see him any time you like, as long as you do your work here.’
‘The police called. They told him we’re unlikely to get anything back from my grandmother’s house. Neither my uncles nor the police have managed to trace any of my grandmother’s things. It’s horrible to think that I’m the daughter of a man who can steal from his dead wife’s family. I can’t understand why my mother ever married him. Not if she was like my gran.’
‘Your father might have been different when he was young, Judy. People change and remember, your father is not you. You’re kind, honest, pretty and talented. Forget your father and concentrate on the good people in your family. Your uncles and grandmother.’
‘Uncle Jed keeps telling me that I’m just like my mother.’
‘Then she must have been a really special person. Goodnight, Judy, we’ll have a long talk in the morning.’
‘You and Reverend Slater are in some kind of trouble, aren’t you, Mrs Slater?’
Edyth braced herself. ‘Yes, but I’m hoping it can be sorted, Judy.’
‘If it would help, I’d work for my keep and nothing else. I’m happy here, you’re kind –’
‘It’s not money, Judy,’ Edyth said quickly, touched by the young girl’s offer. ‘And no matter what, I’ll try to keep you with me. We’ll talk tomorrow,’ she repeated.
‘Yes, Mrs Slater. Goodnight.’
‘Goodnight, Judy.’ Edyth knocked once, then, as his mother had done earlier, walked into Peter’s study.
It was little wonder Judy had thought Peter was ill. He was sitting slumped over his desk, his head buried in his hands. Edyth called his name but she had to touch him before he realised she was there. He looked up at her with blank, uncomprehending eyes.
She took a chair and sat beside him, taking his hand in hers.
‘You must hate me,’ he whispered after a while.
‘No, I don’t hate you.’
‘Where did you go? I looked for you. When you ran out of the house – the expression on your face – I thought I’d never see you again.’ He held her hand tight but didn’t dare look at her, and she sensed he was too ashamed.
‘Micah Holsten found me. He explained some things to me that I didn’t understand. I wish you’d told me that you couldn’t love me the way I wanted to be loved from the beginning.’
A single tear ran unchecked down his cheek. She would have found it easier to bear hysterical sobbing. ‘I believed I’d changed. The doctor told me I had. I so desperately wanted a normal life, with you and children, but above all I wanted you and Mother to be proud of me. The way she was proud of my father.’
Again Edyth pictured that small boy playing on the sands of Swansea Bay, his middle-aged parents watching him build sand castles, his father in a dog collar, his mother planning out every detail of her son’s life without sparing a thought for what he wanted.
‘I am so sorry, Edyth. Can you forgive me?’
‘There is nothing to forgive, Peter. We both made mistakes. I’ve been thinking that perhaps I didn’t want to go college all along but just didn’t realise it. Maybe I was afraid I’d fail, maybe I only said I’d go because it was my father’s ambition not mine. Marriage to you gave me a very convenient escape route.’
‘Do you really believe that?’
She knew he was clutching at the straw of comfort she’d offered him. ‘Yes, I do.’
‘Has Mrs Mack gone?’
‘I don’t know. Judy said she could be in her room. I wish you’d told me about her threats. If you had, I would have given her her marching orders the day I moved in.’
‘She not only threatened to tell you, she threatened to go to the police. If she does I could be charged, tried and sent to gaol. As it is, the rumours might be enough for the Bishop to take the parish away from me and give it to someone else.’
She smiled at her blindness. Even now, with their sham of a marriage in tatters, and the threat of prison hanging over his head, all Peter could think about was the Bishop and the parish. But she looked for and found some of the compassion Micah had assured her she had.
‘You’re doing too good a job in the parish for the Bishop to get rid of you, Peter.’
‘I wish I had your faith.’
‘You are a brilliant, caring vicar. The Bishop will never find another one like you.’
A loud banging on the door startled both of them. Peter leapt to his feet. The voice of the sergeant from the Maria Street police station boomed from outside.
‘Reverend Slater, we know you’re in there. Open up … please.’
‘I’ll go.’ Edyth saw a shadow on the stairs when she went into the hall and she knew, without turning around, that Peter’s mother was behind her.
Peter walked past her, opened the door and faced the officers. Edyth had never felt more afraid for him, or prouder.
‘Reverend Slater, sir, we have to ask you to accompany us down to the station.’ The sergeant glanced at Edyth. ‘We can discuss the reason in the interview room.’
‘Thank you for your tact, Sergeant, I’ll just get my coat and hat.’ Peter lifted both from the hall stand.
‘Peter, what’s this all about?’ his mother demanded. She was standing barefoot, halfway up the stairs, her grey hair plaited into two braids that hung over her brown flannel dressing gown.
‘I need to go down the police station with the sergeant and constables, Mother.’
‘No, you don’t.’
He turned and looked at her. ‘Yes, I do, Mother.’
‘Whatever it is can wait until morning,’ she argued.
‘I am afraid it can’t wait, madam,’ the sergeant interposed.
‘Peter, go to bed. You must refuse to go.’
‘They are not making enquiries, Mother,’ Peter informed her bluntly. ‘They are arresting me.’
‘I don’t understand …’
He continued to look at her. ‘I think you do, Mother.’
Florence Slater turned from Peter to Edyth and screamed, ‘This is all your fault, you … you trollop! If you had been a proper wife to my son, nothing would have happened’
‘Mother –’
‘Go, Peter’ Edyth pitched her voice below Florence’s screams. She kissed Peter’s cheek, murmured, ‘Take care of yourself,’ then went to her mother-in-law. Florence had stopped screaming and fallen, sobbing, to her knees. Edyth put her arm around her. ‘Come on, Mother, let’s get you up to bed.’
Florence pushed her away. ‘You ruined my son’s life. I’m not going anywhere with you.’
‘I’ll take her, Mrs Slater.’ Judy ran down the stairs, in a blue dressing-gown and white flannel nightgown.
‘Thank you, Judy.’
‘I don’t want you either, you … you … half-caste.’
‘I won’t have those words said in this house, Mother.’ Peter went to the two constables. ‘Goodbye, Mother.’
Florence Slater finally allowed Judy to lead her away.
The sergeant lingered to speak to Edyth after the officers had escorted Peter out of the yard. ‘Your housekeeper Mrs Mack made a complaint. We also have a young man in custody. When Mrs Mack came to see us she pointed out your husband’s … partner-in-crime, as it were,’ he finished diplomatically. ‘He’s one of our constables. Mrs Mack mentioned that you were also there, Mrs Slater?’
‘Pardon?’
‘Mrs Mack said you saw your husband in bed with this young man.’
‘I saw nothing, Sergeant.’ Edyth lifted her chin defiantly.
‘I’m not sure I believe you, Mrs Slater.’
‘Are you calling me a liar?’
‘Mrs Mack said you were in the doorway and you would have seen your husband and the other man. According to her, they were both stark naked and performing lewd acts.’
‘Not that I saw, Sergeant.’
‘You did open the bedroom door?’
‘I did,’ Edyth acknowledged, ‘but Mrs Mack started screaming behind me. I thought she was having hysterics. The next thing I saw was my husband trying to calm her.’
‘Really?’ He clearly hadn’t believed a word she’d said.
‘Really, Sergeant,’ Edyth reiterated, looking him in the eye.
‘Well, it appears that Mrs Mack saw enough for both of you. Not that we need her testimony either. The young man has confessed.’
‘I see.’
‘I should warn you, the papers are bound to get hold of this. You’ll have reporters camped on your doorstep and telephoning you. Your father is an MP, isn’t he?’
‘He is,’ Edyth confirmed.
‘Better warn him what’s happened and what’s coming his way, Mrs Slater. Not that there’s much he can do about it, but it’s as well to be prepared.’
Edyth was too busy for the next few hours to think of anything other than what had to be done immediately. She called the doctor for Peter’s mother, who remained hysterical. She watched him give her mother-in-law a sleeping draught then, after leaving Florence in Judy’s care, she returned downstairs, spoke to the telephonist at the local exchange and placed calls to Peter’s Aunt Alice and her father.
Micah arrived at the front door as she was speaking to Lloyd. She opened the door to let him in and he sat on the stairs and waited for her to finish.
‘… Please don’t come right away, Dad, and tell Harry, Bella, and Toby that I’m fine. There’s nothing any of you can do. I have Judy here to help me look after Peter’s mother, and Mr Holsten has arrived. I just wanted to warn you in case a reporter tried to question you … Yes ... I’ll see you in the morning … Love to everyone there … Take care.’
Micah waited until she replaced the receiver before speaking. ‘I heard about Peter’s arrest. I thought I’d go down the station and see if I can help him.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
‘That’s not a good idea, Edyth.’
‘You heard me talking to my father. Judy is looking after my mother-in-law. Peter will need a solicitor.’ She tried to remember all the things her father had said, which she hadn’t thought of when the police had taken Peter away.
‘I know a good one.’
‘Will he come out at this time of night to help Peter?’
‘On past experience, I’d say yes. I can telephone him if you like. If he is in, I’ll meet him at the police station.’
‘Please.’ She handed him the telephone. ‘I’ll just check on my mother-in-law then I’ll come down the station with you.’
She left him speaking to the operator. When she returned downstairs ten minutes later there was a scribbled note on the hall table:
‘Stay here. Will be in touch with news as soon as I have any, Micah.’
The Bishop took three cheese and cress sandwiches from the pile Judy had made for everyone’s lunch, heaped them on a plate and carried them over to one of the easy chairs. He arranged his bulk as comfortably as he could, given the limitations of Peter’s mother’s chair, sat back and sipped his tea.
‘You do understand, Mrs Slater, the Church cannot afford to be tainted by this unfortunate affair. I appreciate this isn’t a great deal of notice, but if you could clear the house of your and Reverend Slater’s belongings in the next forty-eight hours, so the next incumbent can take up residence, we would be very grateful.’
‘And what form would this gratitude of the Church’s take, Bishop?’ Lloyd enquired coldly. He and Sali had arrived at the vicarage in Tiger Bay an hour before Peter’s Aunt Alice, who had been driven there by her chauffeur, but ten minutes after the Bishop and Dean, who had heard about Peter’s arrest precisely as the sergeant had warned Edyth some people would – from a newspaper reporter.
‘We will allow Reverend Slater to resign and we will pay his salary up until yesterday. Really, Mr Evans, given the circumstances, there’s nothing else that I can do for Reverend –
Mr
Slater.’ The Bishop demolished a sandwich in two bites. ‘I telephoned Maria Street police station this morning. Peter Slater has pleaded guilty, as has his … accomplice. The Church has to distance itself from any criminal act. However, what Peter Slater has done is not only criminal; it is unspeakable and morally reprehensible.’