Tiger by the Tail (7 page)

I looked over at Calvin. He looked at me, puckered his lips and blew me a kiss. This wasn’t really happening. I
was in the back seat of an old convertible. I was sharing my seat with a chimpanzee. My brother was in the front, a coil of rope around his neck, fiddling with the radio. Our driver was a little old man, so small that he was looking through the steering wheel to see through the windshield. He was wearing a pair of funny women’s glasses and there was a loaded tranquilizer gun on the seat beside him. We were going hunting for a missing tiger. I couldn’t wait until the first day of school when the teacher asked us to write about what we did on our summer vacation.

Between the roar of the radio and the wind rushing by the open roof, there really wasn’t much chance for conversation. That was okay with me. I couldn’t think of anything to say that would make any sense, and besides all my attention was focused on the side of the road, searching for the tiger. It was a strange feeling. Part of me wanted to find Buddha and make sure he was okay. The other part — the biggest part, the truly wimpy part — hoped I never saw that tiger again.

I knew without asking that my brother didn’t feel that way. For him this was a big adventure. He didn’t have to think about all the bad things that could happen; that was my job.

What I also had noticed was the change in Mr. McCurdy. True, I’d only known him for a few days, but today he seemed so much more “alive.”
He wasn’t coughing or limping, and his eyes were sparkly and bright. It seemed as if he was having the time of his life. It didn’t much matter, though. What chance did we have of finding the tiger anyway?

The car slowed suddenly. I took my eyes off the ditch and looked forward. There was a police car, lights flashing, blocking the road up ahead. A policeman stood in front of the car and waved his arms. Mr. McCurdy brought the car to a stop in front of the patrol car and the policeman walked toward us.

“I think we found our tiger,” Mr. McCurdy said quietly.

“Sorry for the inconvenience, but I’m afraid you folks will have to turn back,” the officer said.

“No can do!” Mr. McCurdy announced.

“No choice, sir,” the officer said with more than a hint of annoyance. “We have a … a … situation.”

“I’ve never heard of a tiger being called a ‘situation’,” Mr. McCurdy replied.

“You know about the tiger?” the officer asked in surprise. “Regardless, I’m not to let any civilians past this point.”

“Fine, no problem. We’ll turn our car around and head back home. Of course, you’ll have another situation to deal with when whoever is in charge finds out that you wouldn’t let through the experts who were called in to deal with the problem.” Mr. McCurdy started to put the car in gear.

“WAIT!” the policeman ordered. There was panic in his voice. “You mean you were called to deal with the tiger?”

“Didn’t I just say that? Don’t you know who I am?”

“Um, I’m afraid not, sir,” he answered quietly, looking down at the ground.

“I’m Professor Angus J. McCurdy of the Institute for
Animal Studies.”

“Didn’t you recognize him from his pictures or books or the internet?” Nick asked. He turned around and gave me a sly smile. It was amazing how well he could come up with a lie.

“No, sir, I mean Professor, I didn’t. Please accept my apologies.”

“No apology necessary, officer, just aim us at the tiger.”

“Yes, Professor, just drive straight ahead. It’s not far. The tiger is trapped in a barn. There’ll be an officer in front of the house, by the road. He can direct you. If he tries to stop you, just tell him you’ve been cleared.”

“Fine. You’ve been very helpful, Officer …?”

“Sinopoli, Frank Sinopoli,” the officer said, pointing to the name tag on his uniform.

“Thank you. I’ll be sure to pass on to your chief just how helpful you’ve been.”

“Thank you very much, Professor.” The officer beamed.

“Do you know if anyone has been hurt by the tiger?” Mr.
McCurdy asked.

“Thank goodness, no. The tiger was sneaking up on two small children playing in their yard when their mother went out to hang laundry. She grabbed the kids and somehow got them into the house and called us.”

“And Officer Sinopoli, is the tiger okay?” Mr. McCurdy asked.

“Yes. He’s okay, I guess. Nobody wants to get too close to find out.”

“That’s why they called us.”

“Could I ask you a question, Professor?”

“Sure thing, but make it quick.”

“I was wondering why you have a monkey with you?” Officer Sinopoli asked.

“My mother insisted that my sister come along with us,” Nick answered.

Mr. McCurdy, Calvin and the officer all joined together in a chorus of laughter at my expense. I just slumped down lower in my seat.

“Oh, you mean the
other
monkey,” my brother said.

“Calvin has been specially trained for these situations. He deals with the most dangerous animals so no human life is at risk,” Mr. McCurdy answered.

“Oh, I see, that’s very interesting. Again, I’m sorry for the delay. Please proceed,” Officer Sinopoli said.

Mr. McCurdy put the car in gear and steered into the empty oncoming lane of traffic to move around the patrol car. As we passed by, Calvin stood up on the back seat and blew another kiss, this time at the officer. I didn’t dare look at the officer’s reaction.

I leaned over the front seat. “I didn’t know you were a professor?”

“Ah, Sarah. He was lying,” Nick said.

“I don’t like to think of it as lying. I just think we’re putting on a little performance. That’s all a circus is, a performance. I need you two to just play along with whatever I say. Just like Nicholas did. Do you think you can do that, Sarah?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Let’s play it safe. Sarah, just smile and nod,” Nick said.

“Could I make one suggestion?” I asked.

“Sure thing, Sarah.”

“Before we start talking to any more police officers, you should take off your glasses.”

“Oh, that’s a good point,” Mr. McCurdy replied. He started to take them off.

“NO!” I yelled. “Wait until we stop driving!”

“Another good point,” he agreed.

We didn’t have to drive much farther before we came to the house where Buddha was hiding. There were two more patrol cars angled on the road, one partly up on the sidewalk, and three more on the lawn, all with their lights flashing. As we pulled up to a stop, two more officers moved to our vehicle. They were both carrying shotguns. Mr. McCurdy turned the car off, pulled off his glasses, put them in his pocket, and opened his door before they had a chance to move too far forward.

“Stop! You can’t come in here!” one of the officers bellowed.

“I don’t have time to explain this to every blue uniform around here. Radio Sinopoli and he’ll explain it. Any more delays and I’ll make sure you two are directly responsible for anything that happens here!”

“But …” one of the officers started to say.

“I’ll go and radio,” the other offered and walked back toward his car.

“Good, good. Now while he’s calling, I need you to lead me to where the tiger is hiding,” Mr. McCurdy said to the other officer.

The officer didn’t move.

“Do you want us to bring all the equipment, Professor?” Nick asked.

“Yes, please bring the special harness. Sarah, bring along the extra medication and I’ll carry the tranquilizer gun.” He then turned back to the officer. “And you, turn those darn lights off.”

“I can’t do that,” he protested.

“I’m telling you that you better turn off those lights or you might get that tiger all nervous and edgy and then he might just jump you.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” he said firmly.

“Do what he says,” said the other officer, emerging from his squad car. “He’s a world famous authority on tigers. He’s been called in by the chief. Do what he says.”

“Says who?” the first officer questioned.

“Sinopoli gave me the lowdown. He must’ve been
talking to the chief. You turn off the lights on the cars and I’ll lead them to the captain.”

We trailed after him up the driveway.

“They’re lucky you just got back from your tiger study in Africa,” Nick said so the policeman could overhear him.

“Africa?” the officer questioned.

“He meant India,” I said quickly. “My brother isn’t very good at geography.”

“Oh,” the officer responded.

We continued to walk. The house was separated from the road by a rolling green lawn with a smattering of trees and shrubs. There was a swing set, where the kids probably had been playing, a clothesline and an overturned laundry basket. We walked beside the house and I could see the barn. All around it, there were a dozen or so officers. They all had shotguns or revolvers in their hands, and they were crouched behind trees or bushes. Their eyes were focused on the barn and we approached unnoticed. As we got closer the officer crouched down low and motioned for us to do the same. We followed his example, although it didn’t make any sense.

“What does he think the tiger is going to do, take a shot at us?” Nick whispered.

In spite of myself I laughed and both Mr. McCurdy and the officer turned around. The officer shot me a
dirty look. He led us to a small huddle of blue uniforms hiding behind a low hedge.

“Sir, the tiger experts have arrived,” our escort announced to one of the officers.

He turned and looked at the officer and then at us. His eyes grew and his mouth dropped so far that if he’d been crouched any lower it would have brushed the ground.

“The what?”

“The tiger experts, Captain, sir,” he repeated.

“Have you lost your senses completely? Get them out of here!”

“It’s orders, sir, right from the chief. We’re supposed to follow his directions to the letter, sir,” the officer said nervously. This story was getting better with each officer who passed it along.

“You must be joking,” the captain replied, shaking his head.

“No sir.”

“The chief has given some crazy orders but this …”

“Would you like me to mention that to the chief the next time he’s over for a barbecue?” Mr. McCurdy said.

“NO!” the captain said. “I mean, that won’t be necessary.”

“Sure thing. I want you to get all your men and have them fall farther back. I need a little space to work,” Mr. McCurdy answered.

“Do you want us to stay close enough to take a shot?” the officer asked.

“No, nobody is to take a shot. With the guns you have all you’d do is wound the tiger and make it mad. If you think a tiger is dangerous you don’t want to see a wounded tiger. Just fall back.”

“If our guns won’t take it down, what are you going to do with that little gun of yours?” the Captain asked.

“It’s not the gun, it’s the bullet.” Mr. McCurdy opened up the chamber and tilted the gun so the Captain could see the syringe inside. “This is filled with a special medication just for tigers. One shot of this in its butt and it’ll be as gentle as a kitten. I’ll walk right up to him, slip a line around his neck and lead him away.”

“Amazing!” the Captain stated.

“Yep, science is pretty amazing,” Nick agreed.

The captain gazed at my brother. He gave an order to one of his officers to have everybody fall back, but kept his eyes on us. This guy had a way of looking at you that would probably make you nervous even when you weren’t doing one single thing wrong. And I did feel nervous because we were doing
everything
wrong. I just hoped when we got thrown in jail I didn’t have to share a cell with my brother … or the chimpanzee.

“And who are these children and why are they here?” the captain demanded.

“These are my grandchildren and they’re here
to help. Do you know anything about tigers?”

“Um … no … not much,” the captain admitted.

“Well these two know all there is to know and I need their help.”

“Regardless of how much they know, I’m afraid I must insist the children stay here. I can’t jeopardize their safety,” the captain explained.

“They can stay here, at least until I get the shot at the cat. Then I’ll need them. Do you want the ape to stay with you as well?” Mr. McCurdy asked.

“Ah, no, I guess the ape can go with you,” the captain agreed.

Calvin reached over and patted the captain on the head. The other officers started to snicker, but stopped short when the captain turned around and looked at them.

“Go now and take that ape with you,” he hissed through clenched teeth.

“I need Nicholas and Sarah to come just a bit closer with the ape,” Mr. McCurdy stated. “Don’t you worry, though, they’ll stay back so they’ll still be safe.”

“Fine, whatever. Just keep them at a distance.”

As we moved forward I saw all of the officers fall back. We’d only moved about six metres when Mr. McCurdy motioned for us to stop.

“What are we supposed to do here?” Nick asked.

“Nothing. Just sit down here with Calvin and look
like you’re studying the situation,” Mr. McCurdy said.

“Studying?”

“Yeah, studying. You remember, that thing you never do in school?” I taunted my brother

“I just didn’t want to leave you sitting there with the captain. He asks too many questions. Wait here,” Mr. McCurdy said.

As we watched, Mr. McCurdy started moving toward the barn. He crouched down low and walked in a zigzag pattern. He stopped and pulled up a handful of grass. He tossed it into the air so it got caught by the wind and blew back toward us. He turned around and gave us the thumbs-up.

“What is he doing?” I asked.

“Probably just putting on a show. He can’t just walk up and say hello to Buddha or people would know something was up.”

Mr. McCurdy pushed the front door closed and then let the bar fall into place. He started circling around to the left side of the barn. As he passed by gaps in the boards he pressed his face against the building and peered inside. He turned the corner, and continued to do the same thing along the whole side of the barn, before disappearing around the back. Nick and I exchanged looks and waited for him to come back into view.

Within half a minute he appeared around the corner
and continued to peer through gaps and openings. He came back to the front door, turned back to where we were waiting and motioned for us to come forward. Nick sprinted toward him. This was the opportunity he’d been waiting for. Calvin and I followed behind. Before we even arrived at Mr. McCurdy’s side, my brother was heading around the back.

“Where is he going?” I asked nervously.

“Back of the barn.”

“Why?”

“Because I told him to go there.”

“But why?” I questioned.

“He’s going to get Buddha’s attention. Nick is going to go to the back and make a scraping sound against the boards.”

“How will that help?” I asked.

“When Buddha’s head is pointed toward Nick, his back will be aimed at me. That way I can get in a shot. I want you to go and quietly open up the barn door, just a crack.”

“Me? Why me?”

“Can’t ask Calvin to do it. He’s never done anything quietly in his whole life. Of course I could open the door and you could take the shot. Here, you want the rifle?” he said, offering it to me.

“No!”

“Okay, then you better get the door. And Sarah, as
soon as I shoot, slam the door closed again.”

I got up and moved toward the door. I took the bar with both hands and slid it out of the slot so the door could swing free. I heard a noise from inside the barn. I had to fight the urge to seal the door back up.

“It’s just your brother,” Mr. McCurdy whispered.

“How can you be so sure?” I whispered back.

“Because tigers don’t make any noises. Open the door.”

I took a deep breath and started to pull it open. My plan was to hide behind the door. Mr. McCurdy moved closer. He brought the rifle up to his shoulder and took aim. I held my breath and waited. Unexpectedly he lowered the gun. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his glasses. He put them on and then raised the rifle again. He peered into the barn and then brought the rifle up to his shoulder.