Tiger Lily: Part Three (4 page)

My body went stiff. Jonas cleared his throat. “You’re here because I want you here. What I want and do costs. And I want you with me. So we both benefit.”

I didn’t say anything, so he continued. “As I told you before, we ended the companionship. This is about us, together. I go to a lot of public functions and events. You will come with me. Right now, your clothing doesn’t fit you properly. I want to fix that.”

Now I wanted to respond. “So, what am I supposed to be? I wasn’t raised to be a burden. I can’t do that, not even if I only had a couple of dollars. Maybe I could clean and cook here? You can send Lin back to Dani,” I said.

Jonas looked at me as if I had sprouted a new head. “Not a chance. I don’t want you serving me. Well, not in that way,” he joked, but leaned in and kissed my lips when he noticed how his words hurt me.

“So, I’m to take and take, until you’re done and leave me? No way.” I moved to turn over, but he took hold of my hips and pinned me down on my back.

“Where am I going? You already have me gone before we’ve even started. Stop telling me how I feel and listen to me, have a little faith in me. If you’re worried about taking, how about you do something I want from you that doesn’t cost money as payment?” he said.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“You go to counseling for what happened to you. Dani has a friend, Isla, who could see you this week.”

I furrowed my brows. “I appreciate Dani’s offer, but I’m not a head case. I know I messed up with everything. I don’t plan to do it again. I’m on board with fighting Declan, even though that scares me. But I took care of myself. I kept my apartment, went to work, and was trying to turn my life around.”

He laid on his side, facing me, then placed an arm along my waist. “I know, and I admire that about you. I think you’re resilient, trying to keep your life together after all that happened. But now you’re not alone. I’ll be here, and so will Dani, Alan, and Gregor. Even Paul would be willing to help you,” he said, kissing behind my ear.

“Why? I don’t understand. Gregor is my boss and friend, but your family barely knows me,” I said.

“Because we trust each other and our instincts about you. I went against them when you disappeared, but I trusted Dani to tell me what happened. Though we are both saddened that she kept your attack from me.”

I took his hand. “Dani did that for me and I’m sorry. She wouldn’t stop calling or texting, even though I didn’t return any of her messages.”

“That’s how she’s been since I met her. Once she declares you her friend, she won’t let go. Even if you never spoke to me again, she would never have left you. Can you believe she still has friends from grade school? Even after we separated, she called me every day. She doesn’t throw anyone away,” he said.

My heart constricted. I kissed his chest. “I didn’t throw you away,” I whispered.

“I understand that now.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway. Counseling may help you gain perspective on everything, and Isla can give you an introductory session before her scheduled sessions in a couple of days. You don’t have to go forever, but trying would be an acceptable payment. I won’t force you, but that’s what I want,” he said.

I huffed, feeling thoroughly ambushed. I wanted to whine that I should get a week to process, but there was no reasoning with the man that had taken me to my doctor’s office immediately upon seeing me just a day before. This was the one thing he asked of me, and I had said I would try. “Fine, but I don’t have to like it. I had a bad experience after my parents died. The counselor gave me a few brochures to read after…after I poured my whole heart out to her. It was useless. But I will try therapy again, for you. I still want to do something else, though.”

“I’ll think of something.” He leaned over and kissed the back of my neck.

“Sex,” I said, like it was a dirty word. He stopped.

“I wanted to find and explore what we have together without sex. We can’t do that now,” he said.

“Why not?” I asked coyly.

He reached over and placed his hand over my sex possessively. “Because I’m not going without sex. I don’t go without,” he said bluntly.

My mouth dropped open and I looked past him. “I don’t want you to go without. I just didn’t want to share you. But there is something that concerns me.” I paused and he waited for me to continue. “Melissa mentioned there are things you enjoy that I don’t…or we haven’t…”

He pressed his lips together. “Melissa again.” I could hear the exasperation in his voice, but he took a soothing breath and then returned to me. “We had a different relationship together. I was different, too. You already know some of my kinks, but the main thing right now is you staying here with me.”

I put all my feelings into my gaze. “I meant what I said, Jonas. I’m staying, but I want you to tell me what’s going on and for us to discuss it, and for you to compromise instead of taking over.”

He grinned at me. “Feisty and full of negotiations. Who are you?” He moved out of the bed and changed back into his clothes.

My cheeks warmed. I shrugged.

He kissed me. “I like it, but you’ll find I’m not easily swayed. You won’t get your way all the time, especially if I think my way is for your betterment.”

I sighed. “Yes, I’m well aware that you’re bossy and pushy.”

“I’m not perfect, but you love me,” Jonas said. His voice went up at the end, a rare hint of uncertainty.

Of course that hit me right in the chest and I answered without hesitation. “Yes, I do. That, I’m certain of.”

Jonas cupped the side of my face and we stared at each other as electricity sparked between us. His thumb reached over and traced the outline of my lips.

The doorbell sounded.
Grrr!

Leaning in to kiss me, he said, “That’s the trainer. We’ll talk more soon.” He climbed off the bed and headed for the door.

“Jonas?” I called out.

He turned in the doorway. “Yes?”

My pulse sprinted as his eyes bore into mine. “The way you are with me makes me feel like…I’m special to you.”

Jonas walked back over and kissed me tenderly on the lips. “That, I’m certain of,” he whispered.

My heart swelled and I leaned forward, deepening our kiss.

The bell sounded again and we parted.

“Now, get some rest. I’ll check on you later.” That assurance was all I needed as I gave myself to sleep and dreams.

I RUBBED MY EYES
against the light coming from the table lamp. My body felt rested, though my jaw was sore from grinding my teeth. My heart sank as dread washed over me. Had I been having a nightmare?

I sifted through my thoughts as I took in my surroundings, narrowing in on a phone next to the lamp, along with a handwritten number scrawled across a piece of paper.

This is your new phone and number—Jonas

My stomach lurched at the thought of what might have appeared on my phone after giving it to Jonas.

Would Declan call to gloat? What would happen if Jonas answered?

The pain in my jaw flared again as I gritted my teeth. My mind raced ahead, worrying about what might be next. My heartbeat was even faster, and it had me seeking relief the way I had for some time now.

Pushing back the duvet, I climbed out of the bed and searched for my clothes, but I couldn’t find them. I thought to run in place, to lunge, crunch or jump in my fight against the pain and exhaustion these thoughts plagued me with. But that choice had been taken away by my doctor and Jonas.

No.
Truthfully, I knew it wasn’t an ultimate solution. I wasn’t running anymore. Not physically or mentally, since both had almost cost me everything.

Standing up, I walked back to the bed and sat down, covering my face with my hands. I took a few short breaths.

What was I to do now?

The sound of music drifted up from downstairs, interrupting my thoughts and bringing me back to the now. “Maybe I’m Amazed.” I smiled. Jonas was here. We were together for a while, if I could help us. If I helped myself.

If I started letting people in to help me.

I dropped my hands and looked at the phone. I thought to call Mary, but she was another person I had shut out of my life in the midst of all this chaos. Would she forgive me?

I needed to find out. I picked up the phone and dialed her phone number. After a few rings, she answered.

“Hello. Who is this?” Her tone was cautious.

“Mary,” I cleared my throat. “It’s me, Lily.”

“Oh. I didn’t recognize the number. And I didn’t realize you even remembered mine. Thanks for the message to say you would be back in touch,” she said, her voice crisp.

I climbed back under the covers and curled on my side. “I deserve that. I was…I was trying to. I didn’t want you to know about what happened. I didn’t want you to worry…” I stammered.

“What happened? Are you hurt? Oh my god,” her voice went shrill.

I sat up. “No.” Then I took a breath. “Yes…I really don’t want to do this over the phone. I just wanted you to know I’m staying with Jonas. And this will be the phone number to reach me at.” My own voice wavered.

“I need to know more or I’m driving up to wherever you are this minute. I…I swore I would look after you after your parents died. And I’ve failed miserably.” She was sobbing now.

I wiped my cheek. “No. I failed you again. I’m sorry.”

“Tell me what’s going on. I want to see you. Give me the address where you are and I’ll leave right now.” Her voice elevated.

I bit my lip. “Jonas said…we agreed…after a couple of weeks or so. When I’m better.”

“I don’t care what Jonas said. You’re my best friend and I love you. If you’re hurt, I want to be there to help you. Put him on the phone,” she yelled.

“Calm down. Let me explain…everything. God I didn’t want to do this over the phone.” My voice broke.

“I’m grabbing my keys. I can’t take not knowing what’s going on anymore. You weren’t doing well when I saw you after that asshole hurt you. I’m your best friend, Lily. You’re my sister. I love you. You have to tell me.” My heart constricted at the sound of her crying into the phone.

My own eyes filling, I finally said, “After I returned from Boston…” I didn’t stop talking until I had told her everything that happened after I left her apartment in Boston.

When I finished, she said solemnly, “I’ve failed you as a friend again. I had a feeling things weren’t going right with you. I should have listened more during your visit or tried harder to come down to see you when I couldn’t reach you.”

I wiped my chin. “I didn’t
let
you be a friend again, Mary. This is
me
. Not you.”

“I want to be there for you. I’d like to take
your
Jonas up on his offer to visit soon. Please give him my number so I can speak to him,” she said.

I groaned. “Jonas isn’t exactly mine. He wants to help me. He has been helping me. But it’s still complicated. I’d love for you to visit, but I just got here myself. I’ll call you with a date soon. If you want to speak to Jonas, I’ll have him call you, but I don’t know what’ll happen between us. If he decides I’m not…”

“Don’t start down that path. He wouldn’t have dropped everything and came for you, and he wouldn’t have you living with him, if he was just going to drop you. The man is crazy in love with you. He’s just too stubborn to admit it,” she said.

I blew out a breath. “He likes me, I know that, but I don’t want to pressure…” My words were stolen at the sight of Jonas walking into the bedroom wearing just a towel around his neck.

He was unabashed in all his nudity. Was I drooling? Maybe, but who would blame me? Not with his incredible physique. He was flawless. From his smooth chest hair, trailing down his well-defined abs and trim waist, to his thickening cock.

I had to get off the phone.

His pace was slow. He didn’t need to rush. He had already caught me.

“Um…can we talk later, Mare?” My voice was breathy.

“So, he’s there? Okay. Be careful. I’ll be calling more to check up on you. And you better answer or I’ll just show up. I love you.”

My eyes connected with Jonas’s and electricity sparked between us. “I love you, too.” I almost whispered. It was meant for Mary, but my gaze was locked on him.

I fumbled as I placed the phone back on the bedside table. “Mary,” I said absently.

Jonas gave a nod and, with fluidity, removed the towel from his neck and pulled the duvet back, exposing the lower half of my body. “You ready for me? Show me,” he said in a baritone.

All the air rushed out of my lungs as wetness gushed between my thighs. I only managed a grunt as desire overtook me. Closing my eyes, I stretched out on my back, gaping my thighs the way he liked. Oh, I was ready. And then some.

“Open your eyes,” Jonas commanded.

I complied and watched him position himself between my thighs. “Don’t hide from me ever again…know you’re beautiful.” Our gazes merged and we stayed suspended in that moment. Nothing Jonas ever said was without purpose. And with that thought, my eyes lit at the memory of when I had last heard those words from him. It was our first night together at the Waldorf hotel. Jonas battling my insecurities and assuring his desire for me.