Time Out (16 page)

“I think you’re
a sweet guy. I’m sorry things didn’t work out,” she said, wishing
she could say or do something to make him feel better. He was a
good man, despite what Nick thought. Shaw didn’t deserve to be
collateral damage in the train wreck known as her love life.

“So am I.
Sorrier than you know.” He reached for her hand.

Megan withdrew
her hand when she saw Nick glaring at Shaw. “What is it with you
two? Why do you and Nick hate each other so much?”

Shaw smirked.
“I suspect it’s because we’re so much alike. We’re both competitive
as hell, whether it’s football, fast cars, girls, or horses. We
both want to win.”

Megan rolled
her eyes. “Why do grown men think acting like little boys is okay?
Y’all need to grow up.”

His mouth
twitched as though he was suppressing a smile. “Careful now, you’re
startin’ to sound like you were born and bred here.”

She wagged a
French-manicured fingernail in the air. “You can take the girl out
of Hollywood, but you can’t take Hollywood out of the girl.”

“Does that mean
you miss it?”

“Not as much as
I thought I would.” Megan was surprised to hear herself say that.
She was even more surprised it was true. She’d come to Nashville
for a little distance from the people talking trash behind her
back. That, and she’d hoped to build a relationship with her
father. She never expected to make friends or find a place she
felt… No, she wouldn’t allow herself to go there. L.A. was her
home. All of her career prospects were there, and her career was
the only thing that mattered.

“Does that mean
you’re thinkin’ about stickin’ around a while?”

“Only until the
end of my contract.”

“Does McCall
know that?”

“Yes.” She
drained her wine glass, hoping he would let the subject rest.

“He can’t be
too happy about it. I know he likes to call the shots.”

“I never
promised him anything. He says he’s fine with a temporary
arrangement.”

Shaw laughed.
“I don’t see why he shouldn’t be. He’s never wanted to be tied down
before.”

“Is that so?”
Megan thought about the photograph she’d found in his drawer. “What
about Brandi?”

Shaw clenched
his jaw. “That’s my little sister. I think he just went out with
her to piss me off. She’d been crushin’ on him a long time. We came
to blows when I found out.”

Megan wondered
if Nick fought Shaw for the hell of it or because his feelings for
Brandi ran deeper than he claimed. “Does she still have feelings
for him?”

“I suspect so,
but she knows better than to talk to me about him.”

“So he ended
their relationship?”

“She went away
to school, so it just kind of died a natural death.” He grinned.
“Thank God.”

“Huh. How long
ago was that?”

“A few years
back.”

Megan let the
pause rest, hoping she could resist the urge to ask any more
questions. “Is she back in town now?”

“Yeah.
Why?”

“Do you know if
she and Nick ever see each other?”

He smiled,
though amusement never reached his eyes. “You really do have it bad
for him, don’t you?”

“No, I’m just
curious. Your sister would probably be the perfect girl for him.”
Just saying that made her heart hurt.

“Why the hell
do you say that?”

“They must have
a lot in common. You guys all grew up on a ranch, went to the same
schools, have the same circle of friends. She’d fit into his world.
A perfect rancher’s wife, right?”

“I don’t know.
I never really thought about it.” Shaw slid a plastic menu between
his fingers as though he needed the distraction. “I sure as hell
wouldn’t want that guy as my brother-in-law. I can barely stand
havin’ him as my neighbor.”

Megan stole a
glance at Nick, and the thought of him marrying the beautiful girl
in the photo hit her with the impact of a sledgehammer.

She watched him
throw some bills on the table and say a few words to his friends
before heading toward their table.

Nick didn’t
even acknowledge Shaw when he reached their booth. “You okay,
sweetheart? You look a little pale,” Nick said.

“I’m fine.” He
raised an eyebrow at the hitch in her voice, and she cleared her
throat.

Nick said to
Shaw, “If you need a ride, the boys said they’d give you a lift.
Megan is drivin’ my car home.”

“But my car’s
at the station.” She didn’t appreciate his assumption she was ready
to call it a night simply because he was.

“Tomorrow’s
Saturday. You don’t have to work, right?”

“No.”

“Cool. We can
sleep late…” He winked. “Maybe even have a little breakfast in bed.
Then I’ll drive you into town to pick up your car before we head
over to Alisa and Liam’s.”

Megan knew he
was sending Shaw a message about the status of their relationship,
but she couldn’t find the will to argue. After her conversation
with Shaw, she needed Nick’s reassurance she was the woman he
wanted to be with… at least for tonight.

“Alisa and
Liam’s?” she asked, trying to focus on something other than that
territorial gleam in his eyes.

“Yeah, they’re
havin’ that birthday party for their little guy tomorrow night. I
thought we’d go together.”

Alisa had sent
Megan an evite, and Megan had responded that she’d love to attend,
but she hadn’t even considered attending with Nick. She wasn’t sure
she was ready to answer questions from his family and friends about
their relationship.

“Listen, we can
talk about it at home.” He reached for her hand before pulling a
wad of cash out of his pocket. He threw some bills on the table.
“Dinner’s on me tonight, Carver.”

Shaw reached
for the money, wadded it in a ball, and threw it at Nick, hitting
him in the chest. “Don’t be an asshole, McCall. We both know I
don’t need your money.”

Nick laughed,
obviously getting off on taunting him. “Whatever you say. I’ll see
you around, Carver. Hopefully not too soon.”

Megan touched
Shaw’s shoulder. “Thanks for dinner. It was nice.”

“Anytime,
darlin’. When you get tired of this idiot, and I know you will, you
know where to find me.”

“Let’s go,”
Nick snarled, reaching for her arm. They were on the sidewalk when
Nick tossed her the keys to his car, forcing her to snag them in
the air before they fell to the ground.

“What’s your
problem?” Megan demanded.

“We’ll talk
about it later.”

“I want to talk
about it now,” she said, reaching for his arm.

His eyes
glittered dangerously. “No, you don’t. Trust me, you don’t.”

“If you’re mad
because I went out with Shaw tonight-”

“Mad doesn’t
even begin to cover it.”

Megan knew Nick
had a bad temper, but she’d never been afraid he would unleash his
anger and frustration on her. He was too much of a gentleman to
cross any lines, which gave her the confidence to challenge him.
“Maybe you should have your buddies take you home. I’ll take a cab
back to the station.” She pushed his keys into his chest.

“Like hell you
will.”

He hauled her
up against him, kissing her with such ferocity she didn’t know
whether to slap him or answer his passion.

When they
finally broke apart, he was breathing heavily and his eyes were
still half-closed. “Damn you. You make me crazy, girl.”

Still feeling a
little light-headed from the kiss, she said, “I thought you’d
gotten over your fit. You didn’t let on you were still pissed in
front of Shaw.”

He grunted. “I
wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowin’ watching you laughin’
and havin’ a good time with him made me sick.”

“He’s a nice
guy. You’d see that if you’d bury this adolescent grudge and try
acting like a mature adult.”

“I don’t want
to talk about him. I want to talk about you and me. And how you’re
spoken for every goddamn night from now until…”

“I leave town.”
Pretending they were building something real, something lasting
seemed too easy for him, and she knew that could never be.

“Let’s just
go.”

Megan could
tell by the tense set of his broad shoulders he was still furious,
but he was biding his time until they were behind closed doors. She
didn’t care how hard it was for him to hear, she refused to lead
him on. She wasn’t in it for the long haul.

He opened the
door to his sleek black Mercedes convertible, made sure she was
settled inside before closing the door, and walked around to the
passenger’s side.

“This doesn’t
seem like your kind of ride.” She fastened her seat belt while he
did the same.

“Maybe you
don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“What the hell
is your problem?”

“You think I
could never fit into your world. That’s why you’re not willin’ to
give us a chance, isn’t it? You think just ‘cause I drive a pickup
truck and wear cowboy boots that I’d embarrass you at a black tie
event.”

She shifted to
look at him. He looked so hurt, so frustrated, she had to reach for
his hand. “Nick, you’re the whole package. Don’t think I can’t see
that.”

His hand flexed
around hers. “If you want the good life, I can give you that. I
know you think just because I’m a rancher, I’m strugglin’ to get
by, but that’s not the case.” He looked out the window as he flexed
his free hand on his knee.

“I don’t care
about your money.”

“I’m just
sayin’ I can give you anything… everything you want. If you want
safety, security, I can give you that.”

His conviction
left her speechless. No one had offered her so much without asking
for anything in return. “I don’t want anything from you. I can take
care of myself,” she said gently.

He squeezed his
eyes shut, as though he was trying to rein in his temper. “Do you
know how much it pisses me off when you say that? I want to help
you. Why the hell won’t you let me?”

“I don’t know
what you think you can do to help me.”

“I can help you
build the kind of life you’ve always been too afraid to hope
for.”

Megan stared at
him, stunned. How could he know she wasn’t satisfied with her life?
“You don’t know-”

“Yes, I do,” he
whispered, silencing her with a finger to her lips. “I do know. I
see it in your eyes when you make love to me. You want more. You
want a man who’s gonna love you for more than just your pretty face
and rockin’ body. You need a guy who knows when you need to be
held, who’s there when you need a shoulder to cry on.” He brushed
away the tear streaking her face. “You need a man who’ll take on
anyone who tries to hurt you and force you to reach for your dreams
because he knows you deserve the best and he won’t let you settle
for less. You need me, Meg. Don’t you get that?”

She was crying
in earnest, but she didn’t care. He had already stripped her bare,
exposing her deepest, darkest fantasies. “I can’t allow myself to
need anyone, least of all someone like you.”

He took his
seatbelt off and shifted to face her. “What does that mean? Why not
me?”

“You’re the
kind of guy who needs to take control of everyone and everything
around you. You need to protect everyone, especially the woman in
your life.”

“Why is that so
terrible?” He played with the narrow diamond band on her right
hand.

“If I let you
take care of me…” She pressed her shoulder into the seat, wishing
she could disappear instead of voice the truth. “I might forget how
to take care of myself.”

He frowned.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I might get
too dependent on you. When it ends-”

“Why the hell
do you assume it’s gonna end?”

“Everything
ends eventually, Nick. That’s why it’s best not to let yourself get
too attached.”

He looked at
her a long time, as though he was trying to read her thoughts.
“You’re wrong, Meg. Everything doesn’t end. My parents are just as
in love now as they’ve always been. I know, without a shadow of a
doubt, that’s never gonna change.”

“But one of
them will die eventually, Nick. Then what will happen to the other?
How do you suppose your mother or father could go on without the
love of their life by their side?” When he looked dazed by her
comment, she said, “That’s my point. Everyone leaves you
eventually. Your spouse dies, your children grow up and leave home,
your friends move away…”

He held his
hand up. “So, let me get this straight. You think by livin’ in your
own little world, refusin’ to let anyone get too close, you’re
protectin’ yourself?”

She knew she
could never make him understand, but she didn’t have to. It was her
life and her decision. “You haven’t walked in my shoes. You can’t
possibly understand why I feel the way I do.”

“No, but I’m
tryin’. I’m really tryin’.” He caressed her cheek with his
hand.

“We should go,”
she said, reaching out to start the car.

His hand on her
wrist stopped her. “Is this really what you want, sweetheart? You
want to shield your heart behind walls of dread and desperation?
You want to cut yourself off from the rest of the world, warn off
the people who try to get too close because you’re afraid of lovin’
someone and losin’ them?”

When he put it
that way, he made her sound pathetic. Megan knew she wouldn’t have
gotten so far in life if she’d given her love indiscriminately, the
way her mother had. The only person her mother had withheld her
love and affection from had been her daughter. The men in her
mother’s life always felt smothered by her need for more: more of
their time, more of their money, more sex, more understanding and
compassion. For her mother, nothing was ever enough. That was why
Megan vowed she would never ask anyone for anything. She would
rather fail on her own than succeed because of someone else.