Time Shall Reap (28 page)

Their doubts were intensified in a few months. ‘I see Schickelgruber’s done it again.’ Mr Steele’s deep voice was doom-laden.

‘Schickelgruber?’ Laura asked, never having heard the name before. ‘Who’s he?’

‘Hitler, you dope,’ sneered the fourteen-year-old office boy. ‘That’s his real name.’

Ignoring them, the chief clerk continued. ‘It said on the wireless this morning he’s invaded Czechoslovakia now, after that agreement with Chamberlain. I can bet my boots it’ll be Britain next.’

The office boy grinned. ‘If there is a war, I’m going to join up as soon as I’m old enough.’

Mr McDonald, an old soldier himself, turned on him. ‘If you ever do have to go into the army, laddie, you won’t think it’s so bloody marvellous.’

Fred, a young clerk, snorted. ‘You and Mr Steele are just a couple of scare-mongers. There’ll never be another war.’

This completely dispelled Laura’s growing uneasiness. Fred was more up-to-date, and had a good grasp of current affairs. What did these old fogeys know, for goodness’ sake?

The murmurings of war reminded David of the things he had tried to forget. The horror of Ypres and the later battle in the fields near Moeuvres, in which he had been so badly wounded that he had almost lost a leg, came back to haunt his dreams. With his mind in such a state of instability, the presence of the grandfather clock in the hall revived his old jealousy and he began to taunt Elspeth again; just small, snide remarks at first, but enough to alarm her. She had thought he had got over it, but now she realized that his obsession about her first love had merely been lying in abeyance. At first the sneers had followed his nightmares, but now they occurred at any time and she dreaded him coming home each night, spending her Sundays in constant fear of another direct accusation.

It came one evening, as he stormed into the living room. ‘I see you’ve been polishing John Forrest’s clock again?’

‘It has to be polished sometimes,’ she said, praying that would be the end of it.

‘And you just love doing it, don’t you?’ His top lip had curled. ‘I suppose you imagine you’re stroking his body.’

‘Don’t be stupid.’ Although she was angry, she kept her voice down to avoid annoying him further.

‘It’s not stupid. I know how your mind works.’

‘My mind was just on keeping the clock looking nice, for it would soon look neglected if I didn’t polish it.’

‘He didn’t neglect you, though, did he? I’m sure he kept you satisfied, not like me.’

The last little barb incensed her, for his lovemaking had deteriorated into a quick five minutes once a month, if that, and she burst out, ‘No, he didn’t neglect me though we didn’t have long enough together before he was killed, but the time I was with him was the best I ever had in my ...’ Stricken with remorse, she whispered, ‘I’m sorry, David. I shouldn’t have said that, but you got me so riled, I couldn’t help it.’

‘So we’ve got at the truth at last?’ His eyes had narrowed to slits. ‘You’ve always been comparing me with him, haven’t you, and it seems I fell short of your expectations.’

‘No!’ she exclaimed, in dismay. ‘You’re all wrong, David! I never compared you ... I never thought about him at all ... not when we were ... um ... making love.’

‘So you did think about him at other times?’

‘Oh, you’re getting me so muddled, I don’t know what I’m saying. I did love John Forrest ... I never kept it a secret from you ... but it’s you I love now, it’s you I’ve loved for nearly twenty years. I swear that’s the truth, David. I never think about him at all except when you fling him in my face. Can’t you understand that?’

He had cooled down now. ‘I suppose I do keep reminding you. I don’t mean to hurt you, but thinking about him touching you makes me ... oh, God, I’m sorry, Elspeth. That’s why I can’t bring myself to ... I keep wondering if you’re thinking of him when I’m ...’ He gave his head a violent shake. ‘I know I’m silly, but I can’t help it.’

Going to him, she slid her arms round his neck. ‘Put it out of your head, David, for it’s not true. When you’re ... loving me, it’s you I think of, nobody else. I want you to love me, and I’m satisfied with you ... I’m more than satisfied with you, my dear.’

Giving a choking sob, he buried his head in her hair. ‘I’m sorry, Elspeth. It’s this mind of mine, it gets so twisted I can’t think straight.’

‘I know,’ she whispered, then after a minute, she said, ‘I’ll sell the clock, if that’s what bothers you.’

‘No, I don’t want you to sell it. It’s not really the clock at all, it’s just ... it’s just me.’

That night, he fulfilled her as he had not done for some time, and she lay back happily after it was over, reflecting that he couldn’t help being the way he was. As he had said himself, his mind got twisted, and was it any wonder, after what he had gone through in the last war? It was hard for her to put up with his moods, but she still loved him, in spite of them. Maybe she should sell the clock, but it would likely make no difference, and could easily make him more annoyed at his own shortcomings. Thank God he didn’t know about young John, for if he ever found out, he might go over the edge altogether.

But there was no likelihood of his ever finding out ... not after all this time.

After the invasion of Poland, the Fullertons, like most families in Britain on Sunday, 3rd September 1939, gathered round their wireless set at 11 a.m. to listen to the Prime Minister’s special broadcast, and at the concluding words David and Elspeth looked at each other in anguish. It was excitement, however, that surged up in Laura at knowing she was living through history. Even the King himself would be listening to the same thing.

‘You’d think they’d have learned something from the last war,’ David said, quietly, recalling the slaughter he had seen on the battlefields, ‘but now there’ll be more bloody carnage.’

‘It won’t be so bad this time.’ Elspeth tried to take his mind off the event that still haunted his dreams. ‘We’re more prepared, so it should be over a lot quicker than the last one. Four years was a long time.’

Her initial thrill past, Laura kept silent, wondering how a war would affect her, and she came to the conclusion that it could make little difference. Her father’s bad leg would stop him from having to fight again and, anyway, he was too old for the army now. Nothing would change.

At Quarry Street, Jimmy Watson muttered, ‘We should never have settled for an armistice in 1918, we should have finished the bloody Jerries properly when we’d the chance. I only hope the Americans’ll come in a bit earlier than they did the last time.’

John shook his head. ‘Look, Dad, the British Forces are the best in the world. It might take a few months – even a year or two – but we’ll win, with or without the Yanks.’

Helen added a pinch of salt to the flour in her baking bowl. ‘Thank God you’re too old to go, Jimmy, and they’ll start making munitions at Henderson’s again, and you’ll be needed there, John, so you’ll not be called up.’

John looked at her defiantly. ‘I’m volunteering.’

‘No, John, you can’t.’ Helen’s eyes filled with tears as she mixed the pastry for the steak and kidney pie. ‘There’s the regular army and the Territorials. They don’t need you.’

‘I’m not going into the army, Mum. This war’s going to be won from the air.’ John stood up, frowning. ‘I’m going out.’

‘The dinner’ll be ready at one, mind.’

‘I’ll be back.’ He closed the door with a bang.

Helen turned to her husband. ‘Jimmy, could you not have said something? He might have listened to you.’

Jimmy was on his feet now, taking the box of shoe brushes and polish from under the sink. ‘He’s twenty-four now, and he’ll do what he wants. I’d have went myself the last time, if it hadn’t been for you, though I was near forty when it started. A man wants to prove himself, you see, but ... ach, well, Donald went instead.’ Dabbing a brush into the small tin, he applied Cherry Blossom to his working boots so that they would be black first thing on Monday though they would be whitish-grey again in about five minutes.

When John made no further reference to volunteering over the next three weeks, Helen believed that he had changed his mind, but he came home one night and said, quietly, ‘I signed on for the Royal Air Force at dinner time. They said it shouldn’t be long before I get a medical then I’ll be notified where and when I’ve to report.’

‘Oh, no, John!’ Remembering Jimmy’s caution, Helen said no more – she would have to let him go. She had borne the worry of Donald during the last war, and no doubt she would come through this one, too, however anxious she was for John ... but the Air Force would be much worse than the Gordon Highlanders.

Jimmy tried a little reasoning. ‘Have you thought about this enough, John? It’s all very well doing things on the spur o’ the minute, but you need to think about the dangers, and all. It’s not a piece o’ cake, you know.’

‘It’s up to all able-bodied men to fight for our country’s freedom – we can’t let the Nazis dictate to us.’

‘Well, lad, I only hope you’ll not live to regret it.’

Helen’s only hope was that the young man would live, to regret it or not, but she served up the toad-in-the-hole and set his plate down in front of him with no comment.

After tea, John said that he was going to see the Fullertons. ‘I bet David’ll be pleased about me going into the RAF.’

His assumption was to be proved incorrect. Elspeth was appalled – was John destined to be killed in a war like his father? – but she couldn’t voice her fears. John must never know how much he meant to her ... and neither must her husband.

David tried to make him change his mind. ‘You can say your parents wouldn’t let you go, it’s not too late.’

‘I’m over twenty-one, I don’t need permission.’

‘You’ve no idea what it’s like, John. I still have night-mares about the trenches.’

With all the confidence of youth, John laughed derisively. ‘It’s modern warfare now, David, and it’s the Air Force I’ve joined, not the Army, so I’ll never be in any trenches.’

The only encouragement he received was from Laura, who was filled with admiration for his bravery. ‘You’ll make a good pilot, John,’ she breathed.

‘That’s what I’d like to be, but I’ll have to wait and see what they tell me when I get to wherever I’ve to go.’

‘I think I’ll volunteer, too. They’ll likely need girls to do all sorts of things.’

‘No,’ David snapped. ‘You’re not going, that’s final.’

He had not reckoned with his eighteen-year-old daughter’s determination, however, and within weeks both John and Laura were in airforce blue – John doing his six weeks’ training at Padgate, and Laura at Lytham St Anne’s.

‘It’ll not be long till John gets home,’ Helen said, one afternoon. ‘It seems a lot longer than six weeks since he went away.’ She couldn’t hide the pride she felt.

Elspeth, too, was proud of him, and of her daughter, also doing her bit to help win the war. ‘Laura’ll be coming home shortly, as well. She went away the week after John.’

Helen looked thoughtful. ‘You ken, Elspeth, I was thinking last night about the first time we met – on the train, mind, during the last war? Little did we think that near a quarter o’ a century on my son and your daughter would both be in the Royal Air Force fighting another war.’

Elspeth knew for certain now, having suspected it for some considerable time, that Helen’s mind had blotted out for the second time the fact that John was not her real son, but it was better to leave well alone, for she had enough worries at the moment without upsetting Helen. David’s nightmares had been recurring more frequently of late, and not only that, his jealousy was getting worse, though he denied that that was what it was. His health was beginning to suffer, too. He was only forty-six, but his hair was completely grey, his forehead gouged by deep furrows. His job, of course, carried much more responsibility since he’d been made manager of the whole shop, and she hoped that he wasn’t overdoing things.

When John Watson came home on his first leave, he was quite happy to satisfy Jimmy’s curiosity. ‘You should have seen us, Dad, doing our square-bashing in civvies. They hadn’t uniforms to give us for a start, and I don’t think they knew what to do with us. Then we were issued with our kits and they ticked off our names and numbers as we got them, like this.’ Standing stiffly to attention, he barked out a staccato imitation of the sergeant in charge of stores. ‘Two shirts, tunic – airmen for the use of.’

Jimmy chuckled at the mimicry and the forces’ jargon. ‘Oh, John, what a laddie you are.’

Helen looked puzzled. ‘Tunic shirts? What’s that?’

‘They’re tunic style,’ John said, patiently. ‘They don’t open all the way down the front, and we pull them on over our heads. We got collars and studs, though, and I think we all looked very smart on our first parade after that.’

‘Well, you look real smart now, any road,’ Helen smiled, her pride in him making a tightness come in her throat.

‘So what happens to you now?’ Jimmy asked.

John’s eyes clouded. ‘I’m a bit disappointed I wasn’t accepted for pilot’s training, but I’ve applied to train as a wireless operator. I’ll have to pass tests, and if I fail, I’ll just have to be a Sparkie, I suppose.’

‘It’s what you should be – you’re a time served plumber and electrician.’ Jimmy couldn’t understand why John was so reluctant to go in for his own trade.

‘But I want to be part of an air crew, doing something definite against the Jerries.’

‘The lads on the ground do something against the Jerries, and all,’ Jimmy reminded him. ‘They’ve to keep all the aeroplanes checked and repaired, so they’re running smooth. Every single tradesman has his part to play.’

‘I know that, but I want to fly.’

Just days later, Laura was horrifying her mother with tales of the deprivations she’d had to suffer. ‘Fancy having to eat off a tin plate,’ Elspeth moaned, when she learned of the crude arrangements in the Mess. ‘Do you want me to give you a cup and plate to take back with you?’

‘God, no. They’d all laugh their heads off at me.’

David saw that his wife and daughter could easily get irritated at each other. ‘John Watson’s home just now, too,’ he observed, in order to lighten the atmosphere.