Time to Love Again (5 page)

She just wanted to be left alone.

"Well, you're alone now and look at you," Emma said. Are you happy? Why are you here, crying on Louise's shoulders?"

Rose pushed Emma's voice aside. Why had her sister followed her here? Suddenly, Rose couldn't control the sobs and tried to explain her feelings. "I honestly don't know. I guess I'm just having a pity party for myself."

Louise poured coffee, and Rose sat at the table in the large country kitchen. Santas stared at her from the shelves around the room. A four foot ceramic Mr. and Mrs. Claus stood near a sleigh in front of the fireplace that took up one entire wall of the spacious room.

 
Rose envied Louise's knack for decorating and her sunroom that boasted a miniature size Christmas village with moving figures, houses and a train set around the tree.

Everything looked perfect. Just like Louise.

Perfect marriage, perfect children. An all around perfect life. Yet Rose didn't begrudge her friend. Louise was always there for her. Always lent a helping hand to everyone. She deserved perfect. Rose wondered when Louise found the time to clean, cook, volunteer, make time for friends, and manage not to neglect her family.

 
She always made everyone feel special. Even now as Rose sat here in the warmth of Louise's kitchen, she didn't feel like an intruder. Louise had a graciousness about her that welcomed you no matter what she was doing.

The delicious aroma of a roast or stew reminded Rose it was almost dinnertime. The mixture of carrots and potatoes mingled with the aroma of beef and a hint of garlic made her stomach growl. Had she forgotten to eat again? She did that so often lately. Was she losing her mind? Hearing voices, seeing things, forgetting things.

 
She loved this room, always had. It felt warm and inviting, especially with all the decorations. Rose suddenly missed the mess and joy of holiday decorations.

She tried to explain her feelings to Louise. "I guess I'm just feeling melancholy. I don't know what's wrong me."

"It's the holidays. That's normal. But you've become such a recluse it's harder for you. You know my feelings on that."

Oh, Rose knew all right. Had heard it many times. Join this group or that. She didn't care to hear it again. "I'm not sure that's it this time. I mean I know the holidays are part of it, but there's something more." She thought about telling Louise about the voice but decided not to. "To make matters worse the little girl next door and her friends have been harassing me."

"Harassing you? How?"

Rose told Louise about Stephen Daniels and his granddaughter. "Something about the little girl reminds me of Melinda. Remember how she always managed to get into trouble, even when she thought she was doing something good?"

Louise listened like she always did. "So she doesn't really annoy you? Does she? Why does it bother you so much that they play in your yard?"

"I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask?"

"But playing in your yard isn't anything, Rose. I mean it's not like they're knocking on your door and running away. Making you get up or anything like that. They're not talking to you. Don't you remember how our kids played in everyone's yard, especially when they were building snowmen? They'd start in one yard and roll the ball of snow into yours." Louise's look said she thought there was more to it.

"There's no more. The old man next door came with Sarah to apologize and that was that." Rose stirred her coffee a little too vigorously. A habit she hated– but had developed when she felt nervous or tense. "Well, except for earlier when I made a complete fool of myself in front of him."

Louise nodded and waited for Rose to continue.

"I was hurrying to get away from him, and I slipped and fell. Groceries went flying everywhere. Then he tried to help me up. I swear he felt halfway up my leg, looking for broken bones." Rose shivered at the memory of his warm, gentle hands.

"So how did you make a fool of yourself?"

"By falling, what do you think? I must have looked like a beached whale laying there on the ground."

"A beached whale?" Louise laughed. "Honey, you don't look anything like a whale. Haven't you looked in the mirror lately? You've lost so much weight, you almost look anorexic."

"Oh, right!" Rose sipped her coffee. What the heck did Louise mean anorexic? Sure she had lost some weight, but really. "To make matters worse, he gave me a rose."

"What do you mean he gave you a rose?" Louse smiled.

"There's nothing to tell. He said the rose was for friendship. Like I need a friend. Harrumph."

"So, tell me more about the old man? How old is he?"

Rose took a sip of coffee, trying to still the quivering sensation in her stomach. "His name is Stephen. Stephen Daniels." She shivered just saying his name.

"Well, how old is he?"

Rose knew Louise wouldn't rest until she told her everything she knew about Stephen. "I don't know about my age, a little older."

Louise nodded. "That old, huh. Almost ancient." The look on her face caused Rose to laugh.

"There's nothing more, honest, Louise. Will you quit looking for a match for me?"

"What does he look like?"

The picture of Stephen popped up in her mind. She saw every detail about him. "He's tall– dark haired with graying temples. Has gray eyes." Smokey gray eyes and a cocky look that smiled even when he looked serious. A tremor ran through Rose at the memory of those eyes, and the way his hands move up her legs looking for broken bones. Truth be told, it felt good. Hell, it felt more than good. She almost snickered at the memory. Heat burned her face at the thought, and Rose knew it turned bright red.

"Uh huh. And?"

"And what? I made a fool of myself that's what. Not once but twice."

"Twice, what happened the second time. Don't tell me you fell again?"

"No, once was enough, thank you. I was going over there to complain about the kids, and he showed up with Sarah and a plate of cookies before I had the chance. She apologized, and they left. That was that. Quit trying to make more out of it than there is. Okay?"

 
Rose looked at the clock. George would be home soon for dinner. She stood to go, hoping to avoid another of Louise's lectures about getting out in the world. About making friends with Stephen. She'd heard that sermon one too many times. She was tired of Louise's matchmaking efforts. Not that she ever agreed to meet any of them.

"Are you sure you won't stay for dinner. George and I would love to have you." Louise invited.

"I can't. I have some errands to finish." Rose lied. She didn't want to intrude, even though she knew her friend meant what she said. No, Louise would probably enjoy her company. But sometimes Rose thought George got a little tired of Louise's strays.

"Sounds to me like you're attracted to this Stephen Daniels. Why not give him a chance?"

Okay, here it comes. Rose put on her jacket and tried to ignore Louise. "Don't start," she warned.

Was she attracted to Stephen, was that the feeling in the pit of her stomach? Nope, hunger pangs, not attraction. "I don't have time for that nonsense. Of course I'm not attracted to him. Besides I'm too old for another relationship."

Louise raised an eyebrow and hugged her friend. "Whatever, I still think you're attracted to him. You're using the kids as an excuse to see him. Maybe you should think about joining the
Senior
Center
, meet people. You're life is too isolated. Get out have some fun. Live a little."

Oh, here came the sermon. She hadn't escaped after all. "I like my isolation, and you know my feelings on the Senior Center, bunch of old fogies with nothing better to do but compete with each other, trying to outdo each other with their illnesses and surgeries. No thanks, not for me."

Louise laughed. "Look at the kettle calling the pot black. Old fogies! You know that's not true. They're a group of people who refuse to give in to old age. They want to enjoy all life has to offer."

"Besides, I'm not that old."

"Now listen to you. A minute ago you're too old for a relationship, now you say you're not that old. Make up your mind, Rose. You can't have it both ways," Louise teased. "I think you need some holiday spirit, Rose." Louise's tone changed to scolding. "Why don't you put up your tree? Bring some joy into your life. You loved Christmas."

Rose nodded. No point arguing. Louise had her mind set, and there was no way to change it. Why everyone thought going to the senior center or putting up a Christmas tree would make a difference was beyond her? It wouldn't bring her family back. It wouldn't bring Frank or Emma back. Rose hugged her friend, and left.

The visit did little to improve Rose's mood. Attracted to that man, what nonsense. Put up her tree. Like she had nothing better to do? How would that help? Make her feel sadder, that's what it would do. No, she didn't need a man, and she didn't need a tree.

 
None the less, at least her tears had subsided and that was a good thing.

Chapter Seven

After dinner, Sarah talked her friends into singing Christmas carols in the neighborhood. Grandpa said she could stay out for an hour. Anyway, if the storm got bad, there might not be school tomorrow. They started singing a few houses away and Mrs. Asbury's car turned into the drive. She grabbed her friends' hands and raced to Rose's house.

Jenny tried to pull away, but Sarah held tight. "Come on, we're only gonna sing, we aren't doing anything bad."

* * *

When Rose pulled into the drive, her headlights illuminated the snowman. She couldn't help but smile. The kids were a couple of doors away, probably playing a prank on someone else. At least they weren't bothering her. She shook her head. Those kids, always up to something. Hurrying into the house, she heard the sound of voices singing carols. She turned on the lights and went to the door.

As usual, four little pairs of legs scattered. They were afraid of her. They were harassing her, but they were still scared. Maybe she had become the neighborhood grouch. She hadn't meant to. She had always hated the neighborhood grouch. What had come over her? At least singing carols was constructive, not like playing in her yard. Too bad they ran away again. A few carols might have improved her mood. She would even have given them some money for their efforts. Oh, well, their loss.

* * *

 
"I thought you promised your grandfather not to bother her anymore." Jenny stopped to catch her breath.

Sarah shrugged. "So we sang, what's the big deal. Why is she such a crab anyway? We aren't hurting her. Anyways, I promised my grandfather I wouldn't play in her yard anymore. We weren't playing, we were singing. Everyone else liked it. Look..." Sarah held out her hand. "We have five dollars."

"I thought I saw her smile." Billy said. I mean when she opened the door, she didn't yank it open like before. And she turned on the porch light. She never did that before. Maybe she liked it too. Maybe we should have stayed and finished our song."

"Yeah, right, Billy. She probably turned on the light so she could see us better. If my mom finds out, I'm gonna be so grounded." Jenny picked up some snow and threw it at him.

Chapter Eight

Rose dimmed the lights and thought how lively times had been when Frank was alive. He would have loved the neighbor kids playing in the yard. He probably would have gone out and helped them build that snowman. She chuckled. Probably would have gone out and sang carols with them. Knowing Frank, he would have gotten the whole neighborhood together before they were done. But Frank was gone, and she didn't want to be bothered.

She thought about the little girl and her grandfather. Obviously, she's the ringleader. The others stood behind her and always disappeared first. What's her story, Rose wondered? Jumping up, she ran to get her jacket, threw it on without stopping to think, and ran next door. She rang the bell and waited.