Tipping Point (14 page)

“I got pregnant, intentionally. I really wanted to have a kid, despite how young I was. Not to live off some man, or welfare, but I wanted a kid. Brad was all for it, of course. It didn’t occur to me that it would give him a way to tie me to him permanently.

“He wanted to get married. I said I had to think about it. He was pissed. He basically dumped me, yet he started to follow me. Finally he stopped. I attempted contact in the middle of my pregnancy, thinking he had certain rights, but when he wanted to put his hand on my belly I felt nauseous. I didn’t want him touching me, and it wasn’t really about him. I just hated being pregnant at that age. Looking at my own body made me feel sick and ashamed because I was no longer thin and sexy. Stupid shit, but I was twisted up regarding looks at that age.

“That pissed him off, too, thinking I was rejecting him, so we didn’t talk again until after Cameron was born. I felt she should have her father, and he still had rights. I’d felt so vulnerable during pregnancy, but my confidence returned after she was born, so I called him. A month later we were married.

“It was tumultuous, to say the least. There were lots of threats, and eventually there came a night when he nearly killed me. I was watching for him all the time when I drove my car, I had to pull into the cop station a couple of times, that sort of thing. I became hyper-aware of any guy trying to stake a physical claim on me, and I watched for it in Cam’s boyfriends.

“So many women are flattered when a guy is jealous, and they’ll do things to provoke it. They don’t know how dangerous it is. Cameron knows, because I made sure she knew the signs. To be honest, I’ve broken a few of my own rules with you, and that’s what I really find scary. Not you.”

Neil had pushed his empty plate away by then, though he’d remained attentive while Mackenzie spoke.

“Well, how about I be flattered you found me so inspiring?” A quick laugh made for good tension relief for Mac.

“On a more sober note, it’s somewhat surprising that you haven’t run away from me. I promise, if you find you can’t love me, I’ll walk away. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me. It’s demeaning to everyone. What I feel for you is the most powerful thing I’ve felt since I first laid eyes on my son, but if you don’t feel it, it’s nothing more than a fantasy on my part.” Mac grabbed his hand.

“I feel it. I just don’t trust my own judgment. Does that make sense? I made two big mistakes when I made relationship decisions. I could say it was youth and all that, which part of it was I’m sure, but it was also a need inside me to be loved, and I overlooked things out of that need. I think I’ve grown beyond that, but I’m not sure if I’m fooling myself.”

“What was it that you overlooked?” Mac sat back and thought about his question.

“Deal-breakers. Temper tantrums, bigotry, controlling behaviour, dishonesty, and disloyalty. Most of those in both of them. There were warning signs, too. Big red flags that I saw and actively chose to ignore.

“And before you ask, what I see with you is intensity. It’s hard to fault you on it when I feel the same. Of course, I don’t know what you’re like under stress, and that’s something I won’t know until it happens. It’s not something that can be predicted or imitated in order to bring it on. It’s not like I’m going to manufacture a stressful situation just to test you, seeing as you don’t bear any resemblance to a lab rat.”

“Thanks for that.” Mac laughed again.

“Cowboy, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if you did. The whiskers would just be too much for me.”

“And now we return to our regularly scheduled comedy program.” Mac shrugged her shoulders.

“It’s what I do. I can only hold a serious conversation about this kind of thing for so long.”

“And they say men have a hard time communicating.”

“It’s still communicating even if someone is laughing. It’s just a lot more fun.”

“Not when someone is trying to hold a serious discussion and they think you’re not being serious enough about it.”

“Are we having our first fight?” Mac put on an excited, happy-face, and Neil couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore.

“You’re a pain in the ass with that, aren’t you?”

“Little bit.”

“More like a lotta bit, but I’ll let it go for now. I was mostly done being serious anyway. I’ll just say that the one and only tantrum I ever had was over in thirty seconds flat. My mother told me that if I ever did it again I wouldn’t be allowed another candy bar for as long as I lived. Seeing as that’s what I was throwing the tantrum over, you can imagine how effective her strategy was. I figured she had the power of God Almighty, and could actually make sure I never got a candy bar again.”

“Sounds like your mother’s a smart woman. Is she still alive?”

“Oh yeah. She lives near Banff. Has a mountain cabin. She’s got a good set-up there. You remind me of her in a lot of ways. Obviously not in certain ways, since I don’t have that kind of thing for my mother, but you’ve got her good qualities.”

“And what would those be?”

“Strong, feisty, smart, thinks ahead, and very capable.”

“Huh. Well, I can’t dispute any of that on my end. It is what it is.” Neil laughed at her cocky response.

Mac liked the fact that he’d been raised by a strong woman. Both her former mothers-in-law had been weak, bending to the will of the men in their lives, including their sons. It made a difference when a man was raised by a strong mother. Not a vicious one, but one that showed by example what women were capable of. It was another check in the column of positives.

She wasn’t finding any negative checks. Despite knowing he didn’t have a firm grip on a relationship with her, he wasn’t displaying the typical behaviours associated with insecurity. Only time would show her what he was made of, however.

Mac got up from the table and loaded everything from their meal into the dishwasher.

“You put your pans in the dishwasher?”

“Oh yeah. Nearly everything goes in the dishwasher in this house. Crystal wine glasses are the only exception. I even put my china in the machine. I hate dishes. Grosses me out.”

“Huh.”

“What? The first chip in the image of perfection?”

“Exact opposite. I do the same thing. Don’t tell me you worked as a dishwasher in a past life.”

“You too, huh?” They both laughed.

“I remember those bus pans loaded with everything from coffee and ice water mixed with cigarette butts, to eggs, wet toast, milk, you name it. To this day I shudder,” she said.

“God, the big pots that had to be soaked, and then you had to stick your hand in there. No rubber gloves in the world were long enough for that job.” Mackenzie laughed at that, even as she shivered visibly.

“Blech!”

“I agree. I think we need a distraction.” Then he kissed her and she forgot all about dirty dishes.

“Jesus, mom!” Mac turned around and eyeballed her daughter.

“Don’t tell me to get a room. You were in mine.”

“More like, lock yourself up with the animals. I didn’t think we were keeping rabbits. Sheesh!” Mac was already having a hard time maintaining a straight face, and she could actually
feel
Neil laughing silently behind her. His chest was jerking slightly with the effort of holding back.

“Anyhoo, what are we doing today?” Mac continued to stare at her daughter for a minute before answering.

“I have to go get the goats, so you and Leigh will need to get that pen finished while we’re gone.”

“Great. From one horny creature to another.” That was it for Neil. It was all he could take before his laughter got the better of him. Mackenzie just choked on her surprise for a few moments, and waited for Neil to recover his composure.

“Get some breakfast ready for your friends. I’ve got stuff to do. In my room. With the other rabbit.” With that deliberate taunt, Mackenzie dragged Neil away with her, trying not to hear her daughter make gagging noises in the background.

When they closed the door to her room, Mac checked to make sure the ferrets were still in their bed first, and then turned around and jumped on Neil. Surprised, he fell back onto the bed, grunting as her weight came down on top of him.

“Thought that was funny, did you Mr. Rabbit?” Then she started tickling him. To her delight she discovered he was highly susceptible. Suddenly a whole new avenue of fun and torment opened up for her. She was straddling him, and slowed down the strokes of her fingers, but she started to feel him harden beneath her instead. In a heartbeat the game had changed.

*     *     *

Goats
, she thought. That was her first real thought after recovering enough to have any. She needed to go get goats. The day was slipping away from her again, and here she was having sex when she should be out buying goats.

“I’m a very bad prepper.” He chuckled in her ear.

“Yes you are, and you should be punished for it.” She swatted his arm for that.

“I don’t mean I’m a naughty one, perv. I mean I’m not any good at it. If I were, the damn goats would already be here, and then I wouldn’t have to feel like an idiot for lying around and having so much sex.”

“Oh,
that
kind of bad prepper. I see. Well, I still think punishment might be in order. You’ll have to be my love slave to make up for it. Shall I pick you up at eight?”

“Oh shut up. It’s your fault I have no goats. There. You’re the one who needs to be punished not me.”

“I wholeheartedly agree. I’ll have to be your love slave to make up for it. Shall I pick you up at eight?”

She could hardly keep a straight face anymore.

“Better make it ten. I still need goats.”

“I didn’t invite the goats.”

“I sure hope not! I don’t have those sorts of goats. In fact, I don’t have any sorts of goats. Get your lazy ass out of bed. I’m gonna get my goats.”

“You know what gets
my
goat?”

“Obviously it isn’t me, because I’m not very good a goat-getting. I seem to have snagged a jackass, though.” Mac finally managed to get off the bed and redress.

A sudden, sharp pain in her ankle made her yelp.

“Pickle! You little ankle-biter you!” She picked him up and brought him eyeball to eyeball. He was making huffy, chuckling sounds, so she just giggled.

“You’re too freakin’ cute. That’s your problem. I can’t get mad at you.”

“Why thanks!”

“Not you, though it’s nothing a little cosmetic surgery couldn’t fix.” He pinched her butt, making her yelp for the second time. She couldn’t put Pickle down, because he would only nip at her ankle again. He was obviously feeling playful, and the nipping was his way of making sure someone played with him.

“Here. Play with Pickle. He needs some attention, and you’ve obviously got some excess energy.” He looked down at his semi-nude body.

“Not
that
pickle, for cryin’ out loud!”

By the time they finished messing around with the ferrets and left her room, everyone else was awake and eating cereal.

“Hey, Kirk. You ready to go get some goats?”

“You know, I have to say I honestly never thought I would hear that question, much less as it pertains to me, but sure. Why not? Let’s go get the goats.” Neil started laughing, and Mackenzie was beyond explaining to anyone why he thought that was so funny. She was having to keep her mouth clamped shut as it was.

Neil finally managed to regain a sober mien, so Mackenzie arranged to drop off the trailer at his place that night. Cameron couldn’t resist a dig, apparently.

“So, does that mean you’ll be perverts there instead of here tonight?” Mackenzie looked around for something to bean her daughter in the head with, but nothing came to hand. Billy was kind of snickering, but being subtle about it. He was obviously something of a fan of Cameron’s now.

“Hey, I don’t mind coming back here and playing video games if you guys want to have some time to yourselves,” Billy chimed in suddenly. Neil and Mackenzie exchanged a look. Cameron didn’t even seem to notice. Then again, five years was a big difference to someone who was twenty-three.

Billy likely wasn’t even on her radar, so they probably didn’t have anything to worry about there. In a few years that might change. They had no way of knowing what might happen in their own relationship, much less with their kids.

Mac shrugged her shoulders at Neil, to let him know it didn’t matter to her if Billy wanted to come over. In turn he looked at Cameron, Kirk and Leigh.

“It’s up to you if you feel like company. You’re going to be pretty tired after having to work more today.” All three of them rushed to assure Billy that he was welcome, so Mac figured they must have had a good time playing into the wee hours of the morning.

She knew Cameron sometimes felt like a bit of a third wheel with Leigh and Kirk. Kirk was her best friend, but when Leigh was around she was his priority. It was only natural at that age. After twenty years of marriage that might change a bit, but for now they were still pretty into each other. At least with Billy around, Cameron would have someone to talk to if Kirk and Leigh went off to spend some time alone together.

“Well, the camping equipment is all there, if anyone wants to be outdoors tonight, or you can keep the same sleeping arrangements as last night. Cameron, just make sure you spend some time with the boys, okay? I don’t think they’re getting the level of attention that they’re used to. Pickle nipped my ankle a few minutes ago.” Cameron nodded that she would, and it wasn’t exactly a hardship for her. She was almost as crazy about the little carpet sharks as Mackenzie was.

“Okay, we all need to get to work. Billy’s off to the store with his dad for the afternoon. Kirk’s with me and the goats.” Mac tried to give a convincing glare at Neil’s snort.

“And Cameron and Leigh will be putting together the goat pen in the meantime,” she continued determinedly, before Neil could get her going again.

“We’re going to have to set up a schedule for feeding the animals, because I forgot about the chickens until ten thirty. I don’t want to stress them any further and force them into a moult. We need the eggs, and being moved seems to have affected them already.”