To be Maria (14 page)

            "Twenty-four," he says.

            "How old are you, Marissa?"

            "Twenty-two. What does it matter to you?" she says, shooting Anya a cold look.

            Anya shrugs her shoulders, pretending that she’s not aware of the curt tone in Marissa's voice. "I was just curious. I'll be eighteen on July ninth."

            "I take it you're the same age, Maria," Marissa says. Somehow, the calculating look on her face softens.

            "Yes, but I'll be eighteen in June."

            "How the heck did you guys sneak into Solas Night Club without being caught by the bouncers?" Alex says.

            Anya and Maria exchange looks.

            "We snuck in through the back," Anya says.

            Marissa's brow crumples. "And no one asked you for ID?"

            "No," Anya says.
Okay, what is your reason for judging me?

           
"You even look too young to be seventeen," Marissa says, eyeing her accusingly.

            "But I am seventeen," Anya says, her face flushed with anger. "What does this have to do with my brother? I thought you brought me here to talk to me about him."

            Marissa gives her an icy look. "Oh yes we did, honey."

            "Leave it alone, Marissa!" The expression on his face softens when he turns to look at Anya. "I met your brother three years ago. He was on the streets, trying to sell marijuana to homeless hobos in order to support his pregnant girlfriend. He was only seventeen at the time and knew shit about business, so I took him under my wing and he came to live with me."

            Anya's mouth drops. "So, you're a drug dealer?"

            "No. But I have connections in the business. Within a few months, your brother rose through the ranks. We were working together, getting large contracts. We made huge money selling marijuana and cocaine."

            Anya locks her eyes on his face. "What happened?"  

            The intense look on his face deepens. "He ditched me and became a member of the Blood Night, the biggest freeloading, loser-run club I've ever known. I could have planted a bullet in that asshole’s head, and I would have if I was dumb enough."

            "Does my bother still live here?"

            "The Blood Night is based somewhere in the Okanagan Valley, so he might still be living here."

            Adrik enters her mind once again. He is chasing her around the house, gripping a broken beer bottle, the jagged end threatening to spill streams of blood from her body. She runs as fast as her feet will let her, but she can feel his angry breath on her neck. She screams at the top of her lungs for help, but no one is there to hear her. She somehow managed to flee the house before he caught her, but this thought continues to haunt her: what if she hadn't escaped?

            She grips her wrist. A cold sweat breaks out on her forehead, under her armpits, and her knees shake uncontrollably. She can feel Maria's hand on her right shoulder and she can hear Alex talking to her, but it sounds as if he is speaking from a distance.

            "Anya, talk to me! What's wrong?" he says, this time in a raised voice.

            "You should have killed him," she whispers, but loud enough to grip everyone's attention.

            "What are you saying, Anya?" Maria says, her voice heavy with worry.

            Tears sting Anya's eyes. "My brother beat me."

            "How long ago was this," Alex says, now leaning forward in his seat.

            Anya gulps. "Years ago. We used to get along quite well. Until he entered Junior High. He started beating me and my little sister when I was age eleven. The beatings got worse until he moved out, and my dad did nothing to stop him."

            Alex's eyes flash with anger. "Adrik is unstoppable. He's the most ruthless, violent prick I've ever known. He may think he's king shit right now, but there are guys out there who are way bigger and stronger than him. He pisses off the wrong man and he's done for. Frankly, I hope he gets it in his frickin' neck. I'll personally help his enemies bury him."

            "When you found out that I was Adrik's sister, why didn't you kill me?"

            "Oh, come out of it, Anya," Maria yells.

            "Because you're nothing like him; you're young and vulnerable and…gorgeous."

            Just as that word slips out of his mouth, Anya feels a gentle tap against the back of her left arm. She smiles. No man, other than Patrick, has told her that. But the happiness disappears as quickly as it came. "Would you have killed me if I was even a little like him?"

            There is a long pause. For a moment, Anya sets her eyes on Marissa. She can’t find a trace of sympathy on the woman's face. She becomes afraid of the calculating look in the woman's dark brown eyes. That look screams "yes" to Anya's grim question.

            "No," he says at last. "But you and Maria wouldn't be sitting here in my living room if I thought you were like Adrik."

            Anya breathes out a huge sigh of relief.

            "Anya, you have nothing to worry about. I don't kill innocent people, and I would never kill someone I don't know."

            Anya raises her right eyebrow. "Have you killed anyone?"

            Alex chuckles. "No. Never. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail, or six feet under."

            Anya smiles at him. She feels much more comfortable now, and she finds herself growing fond of Alex. He is the kind of guy who makes her feel secure and who likes her the way she is. She wishes that Marissa would accept her as well. It would make this moment all the more enjoyable, and it would be nice to have another female friend aside from Maria.

            "So, you girls graduating from high school this spring?" Alex says.

            "Yes," Anya says, exchanging looks with Maria.

            "Which high school?"

            "Peach Valley Senior Secondary," Anya says.

            "Do you like school?"

            "God no, I hate it! The teachers are great, but the people are mean." 

            "She's right," Maria says with a sigh.

            Alex casts them an empathetic look. "Join the club. I went to that high school. People there have such attitudes. It's because their parents are rich. They give their little brats everything they want."

            Anya grunts. "You got that right."
Of all the egotistical snots at that school, Carly's the worst.

           
"Did you move out of your parents' house right after graduation?" Maria says.

            Alex gives her a spirited look. "I never finished high school, I dropped out partway through eleventh grade. I moved out that same time because my parents kicked me out."

            "Same here. Well, my parents didn't kick me out. I just left after I got into a fight with them. And as of today, I'm not going back to school. I don't care if I'm three months short of graduation. There is way more to life than stupid high school," Maria says.

            Anya lowers her eyes to the carpeted floor. "I wish it was that easy for me."

            "Why not?" Alex says.

            "Because I want to be an actress."

            "What does that have to do with it?" Marissa says.

            "My acting teacher is offering a sponsorship to Vancouver Film School and I'm working hard to get it."

            "So what?" Marissa says.

            Anya shoots her a terse look. "Because that's what I want to do with my life! I want to be someone because I'm sick and tired of being me."

            "Well, Anya, you're more than welcome to hang with us," Alex says, smiling at her.

            She smiles back at him. "Really?"

            Both Alex and Maria nod their heads. "Yeah, really. You're a great person," he says.

            Anya beams all over with excitement. She can’t believe what she has just heard. The cutest guy she's laid eyes on wants her to hang out with him, and possibly his friends. This night has just ended on a happy note. Now, all she has to do is win Marissa over as well. Hopefully, that won't be too hard of a challenge.

            The drive back to Anya's home is ridden in silence. Maria can tell that Anya is as speechless as she is. Anya's first night out in the real world went far better than her life in high school. Or did it? She cannot read her mind.

            Alex and Marissa seem like really great people, way cooler than everyone at Peach Valley Senior High, and Alex took a shine to Anya even though he already has a girlfriend. It didn't take Maria long to notice Marissa's contempt towards Anya. She wonders how Marissa would think about the spark of chemistry between her boyfriend and Anya. Regardless, Maria plans to stay cool and collected. She likes both of them, but this time, she is going to keep her nose clean. Yet, Maria can’t help but worry about Anya. Now that she knows a large piece of her dismal past, she can understand why Anya is the way she is: shy, afraid and awkward. All Anya needs is a group of people who will embrace her. Maria has been received well by Marissa, so maybe once she gets to know her better, she can persuade her to accept Anya as well. This should be enough to boost Anya's confidence and to get her through the rest of the school year.

            Maria forces herself away from her thoughts and guides her car onto a poorly lit street. "Is this Gerard Avenue?"

            "Yes," Anya says, pointing her finger straight ahead. "But it looks like my dad's home, because that's his car on the sidewalk, so you'll have to find a parking space further down the street."

            Maria slows her car almost to a halt, then parks it parallel to the sidewalk, about fifty feet away from the tiny white house Anya calls home. She gets Anya to help her carry the heavy duffle bag over to the front door. As soon as she opens it, a rush of warm air that smells of overcooked sausage envelops Maria. Her stomach churns so violently, she almost vomits.
What the heck are you getting yourself into, Maria? This place is filthy, and it reeks.
She has the urge to grab her bag and run, but she forces herself to follow Anya. Much to her surprise, Anya's room is clean. The small window beside the bed is opened a few inches, allowing the fresh, cold air to filter into the room, clearing it of the revolting smell.

            Maria scans the room in search of a mattress or thick foam that she can sleep on. When she finally turns around, it appears as if Anya can read her mind. Anya tip-toes out of the room silently, leaving her alone. Maria shuts the door quietly, then walks over to her duffel bag. She unfastens the zipper, rummages through the wealth of clothes, makeup and jewelry until she finds her pink, cotton pajamas. She slips out of her dress and into her pajamas just before Anya enters, carrying two large, ugly brown couch pillows and an old blue blanket that looks more like an oversized rag. She wrinkles her nose at the items. "Am I supposed to sleep on that?"

            Anya looks at her as if to ask, 'what did you expect coming here?' "Yes," is all she says.

            Maria stands aside to let her set up the make-shift bed. "Where’s your dad?" She can hear the anger and frustration in Anya's sigh.

            "Well, since his car is here, he's likely gone to bed drunk."

            Maria's eyes sink to the floor.
My dad is a complete jerk most of the time, but I'm so thankful that he's not an alcoholic.
"That must really suck," she says, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

            Anya's eyes meet with hers. Maria can see the tears glistening in those big brown eyes. "Yes it does, but now I have you and Alex, so it doesn't matter anymore."

            Maria averts her eyes to the makeshift bed. "Goodnight, Anya."

            "Goodnight, Maria," she says while she flicks off the light.

****

            Anya opens her eyes slowly. The scarlet red light that reads the time on her alarm clock appears as a blur before her sleep-crusted eyes. She rubs them while she lifts herself out from underneath the blankets. She sits on the edge of her bed, staring blankly at the alarm clock. It reads 9:30 am. Anya then shifts her gaze over to Maria who is still fast asleep. They must have gone to bed near three am last night because it doesn't feel like she slept much. Exhaustion hangs off Anya’s shoulders like a heavy blanket, yet she can’t force herself to lie back down. Her mind is flooded with memories of last night, memories that seem only true to a dream. If Maria wasn't here, she would have to keep pinching her cheeks just to reassure herself of the reality of last night's events.

            Anya plants both feet firmly on the carpeted floor, then makes her way over to the kitchen. The coffee pot sits on the center of the counter with the lid up, looking like someone had forgotten to pour water into the reservoir. Normally, Anya doesn't drink coffee first thing in the morning, but today she needs it. She peers inside. The porta-filter contains the same darn paper cone filter as it had yesterday. Anya growls as she throws the soggy filter into the trash bin beneath the sink. As she opens the cupboard above the counter, the phone rings. Anya stops in her tracks.
Who could that be?
The phone rings again. Anya's eyes bulge open.
Work! Oh my God. The manager scheduled me for the nine to six-thirty shift today, and it's already past nine-thirty. How could I forget?