Read To Have and to Hold (Cactus Creek Cowboys) Online
Authors: Leigh Greenwood
Cassie shook her head vigorously. “I’m not going back where those Indians killed Abe.”
“There are other routes. You could travel in a train too big for Indians to attack.”
Cassie still shook her head. “Colby says there are lots of unmarried men in Santa Fe. He says I won’t have any trouble attracting attention.”
“But how will you live until you meet someone you want to marry?”
“Colby said it wouldn’t be a problem. He promised to take care of everything.”
“Colby told us he wasn’t going to Santa Fe.”
“He must have changed his mind.”
“Why would he do that?”
“Because I asked him.”
It was a moment before Naomi could trust herself to speak. “I hope you find a husband who will make you as happy as Abe.”
“I don’t look for that,” Cassie said. “I’m an older woman now, and I have a child.”
Naomi decided it was time for her to leave before she said something she would regret. “I don’t think we’ll travel tomorrow. Colby says it will probably take most of the day to find the rest of the mules.”
“Pearl says she and the girls will take Little Abe tomorrow.”
Naomi realized Cassie wasn’t ignoring the problem of the lost mules and the delay in the trip. She didn’t think it concerned her because someone else would take care of it. Naomi couldn’t imagine being so unconcerned. Whenever anything went wrong, she felt compelled to do whatever she could to fix it. She couldn’t sit back and wait for someone to take care of it. She wondered if that was the reason Cassie had no trouble attracting suitors. She never did anything that would place her in competition with men. It wouldn’t occur to her to think she was superior to a man. Naomi wondered if Colby would prefer a woman like that.
He must if he’d agreed to go to Santa Fe so he could take care of Cassie.
***
Colby was tired and perilously close to losing patience with every person in the wagon train above the age of twelve. They had spent the entire day looking for the remaining livestock. Since they only had mounts for six people, almost everybody had to walk. His plan had been to cover as much ground as possible with the people on foot keeping the person on either side in sight at all times. Once they started finding strays, one of the riders would drive them back to the wagon train where the younger children could watch them. When they found a horse, they would bring him back saddled for the owner to ride. Gradually all the men and older boys would have a mount, which would make the work go faster.
The first problem occurred when it emerged there was too much animosity between some of the families for them to walk next to each other. It took half an hour before Colby achieved an order that everyone would accept. Next came the complaining. The grass was too high, the ground too wet, it was too dangerous because of snakes, the sun was too hot, some people were walking too fast, others too slow. What nearly undid him was being told Norman expected his second horse to be found first. It was such a stupid notion Colby didn’t bother responding. Norman had been upset and angry since last night when he was told two of his oxen were dead. The way he talked, you’d think he believed the lightning bolt had been aimed at his team intentionally. Seeing what wolves had done to the carcasses overnight made it worse.
It was all Colby could do to keep the line moving, which resulted in inexperienced riders taking the lead. Cassie Greene’s horse was found first, which meant Ethan, who insisted his wound had healed enough for him to walk, could ride. Dr. Kessling was riding his own horse because Naomi stayed with the wagons. She said she’d slept badly and didn’t feel well enough to fix breakfast. Colby was certain she was avoiding him. It would have been hard to think otherwise after the way she behaved last night when he and Ben returned with the wood. She took one look at him, climbed inside the wagon, and didn’t come out again.
Having been put in a bad mood before the day started, it didn’t take much to rub Colby’s temper until he was ready to snap. The only way he managed to keep it from erupting was by delegating his job of keeping everyone working together to Dr. Kessling. Released from his bondage, Colby was able to work with the men on horseback, pointing out the most likely places to find the missing livestock. It wasn’t until nearly every man was in the saddle that they managed to find the last of the missing animals.
By the time everyone returned to camp, they were tired, hungry, and in no mood to be friendly. People who’d neglected to wear hats or long sleeves had sunburn. Walking miles in wet boots and shoes resulted in numerous blisters on heels and toes. The razor-sharp edges of the tall grasses inflicted small but painful cuts on arms and legs. Insect bites only added to the general misery.
Once in camp, the trouble continued. The children who’d been left in charge of the livestock were tired and cranky. The wood they’d gathered last night was too wet to burn. All the fires smoked—one person’s smoke seemed invariably to settle around the wagon of their neighbor sending them into a fit of coughing—and food ended up underdone. By the time Colby was sure everything was back to normal, he was ready to abandon the whole crowd to their fate.
He might have if Naomi hadn’t welcomed them home with a pot of bubbling beef stew heated by wood she’d thought to put in the wagon overnight before laying it out in the sun during the day. Though she didn’t hide from him, she acted like he didn’t exist unless he spoke to her.
“How did you get a fire hot enough to make the stew?” he asked.
“I used the smallest branches that were quickest to dry. Nobody wanted them when you and Ben brought them in last night. I’m going to take some stew to Cassie. She hasn’t been feeling well today.”
“Ethan didn’t say anything about that,” her father said. “You think I should look in on her?”
“She’s just feeling depressed because of Abe.”
“She might feel less depressed if she got out of that wagon more,” Colby said.
Naomi left without responding.
“What’s wrong with her?” Ben asked his father. “Ever since last night, she’s been acting like she hates everybody.”
“I don’t know,” her father said. “I asked, but she said it was nothing.”
Ben shoveled a spoonful of stew into his mouth. “As long as she cooks like this, she can be as mad as she wants.”
“Cassie said Naomi was fine when they talked yesterday,” Ethan said. “Cassie says she’s the best friend she has.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Dr. Kessling said, “but I agree with Colby that she’d be a lot happier if she was around people more.”
Raised voices in the distance caused the doctor to glance in that direction.
“I’m going to suggest that everybody go to bed early,” Colby said. “They’re tired and we need to get an early start to make up for lost time.”
The voices rose higher before falling silent.
“Do you think Norman’s losing a yoke of oxen is going to be a problem?” the doctor asked Colby.
“It shouldn’t unless we get a lot more rain. From the ruts his wagon leaves, I know he’s carrying more than he needs. He can discard something.”
The doctor laughed. “You don’t know Norman if you think he’s going to throw out a single thing. According to him, everything in his house was essential to his comfort. Why do you think he needed three wagons?”
“Sibyl wanted to leave half of it,” Ethan said. “It’s his mother’s stuff, and she doesn’t like it.”
When the doctor and his sons started enumerating items they thought were unnecessary or downright ugly, Colby’s mind wandered back to Naomi. Why was she treating him like a pariah? She’d been worried enough about him to ask her father to find dry clothes and then offered to let him use their wagon to change. What happened after that to change her attitude? She was visiting with Cassie when he and Ben left to get the wood. By the time they got back, Naomi had turned into a block of ice. He couldn’t imagine that Cassie had said anything bad about him. The girl didn’t always show a lot of common sense, but there wasn’t a mean bone in her body.
A sudden escalation of voices caused Colby to set his plate down. “I’d better see what’s going on.”
“I’ll go with you,” the doctor said.
“You’re not leaving me,” Ben said.
Ethan caught his brother by the back of his shirt. “Stay here. If there’s trouble, they don’t need you making it worse.”
“How could I do that?”
Colby didn’t hear Ethan’s reply because it was drowned out by the sound of gunfire.
A second gunshot followed by a scream caused Colby to break into a run. Across the circle he saw Norman race around a wagon, cut between two, and disappear. Frank Oliver wasn’t far behind, and he carried a rifle. Colby didn’t know what the trouble was about, but the first thing to do was stop Frank before somebody was hurt. He hoped the scream didn’t mean he was too late.
Frank and Norman were about the same age, but Frank was fast and angry. Frank disappeared between the wagons following Norman. Almost at the same time, Norman emerged from between the next two wagons, running in a zigzag to keep the wagons between him and Frank.
Colby shouted, “Stop!” That sounded foolishly inadequate…and useless.
Without breaking stride, Frank dived between the next wagons.
When Frank came around the wagons again, Colby grabbed hold of the rifle. Frank was caught off guard so Colby was able to wrench it out of his grip without it going off. Frank
wasn’t
so surprised that he didn’t turn on Colby.
It wasn’t a long struggle. Frank’s anger wasn’t enough to overcome Colby’s advantage of youth, size, and greater strength. In less than a minute, Colby had Frank pinned to the ground.
“Goddamn you! Let me up! I’m going to kill the bastard!” Frank struggled in vain against Colby’s superior strength.
“I don’t know what Norman did, but you can’t go around shooting people.”
“I can damned well shoot Norman. The world deserves to be rid of him.”
Frank fought to get away, but he gave up because Colby wasn’t going to let him up. Much to Colby’s surprise, the man burst into tears. Colby was relieved when Mae Oliver ran up and dropped down next to her husband. He released Frank, and the man and his wife embraced.
Now that the danger of being shot had passed, people started to gather. “Does anybody know what happened?” Colby asked.
Mae Oliver spoke without changing her position or loosening her hold on her husband. “Norman asked Frank if he would sell him two of our oxen. Frank said he wouldn’t.”
Colby looked through the gathering to see if Norman was present but didn’t see his face in the crowd.
“When Frank kept refusing, Norman said now that Toby was dead, we didn’t need to keep his things. If we threw them out, the wagon would be light enough that we wouldn’t need all six oxen.”
Frank had stopped sobbing, but he made no move to get up.
Mae continued. “If anybody needs to throw stuff out, it’s Norman. Everybody knows he insisted on bringing practically everything in his house even though Sibyl hates most of it.”
Colby couldn’t understand why people would continue to live together when they clearly hated each other. There was enough land in the West to move away from anybody you wanted to avoid. There were enough small towns to choose from if you wanted to be close but not
too
close. Out here if a man got mad enough to shoot at you once, he was going to shoot at you again as soon as he got the chance. Colby had to make sure that didn’t happen.
“Everybody go back to your suppers before they get cold. Mae and I will see to Frank.”
Some were reluctant to move, but Elsa Drummond was a woman to be reckoned with. In less than a minute, the area inside the circle of wagons was cleared.
“How are you feeling?” Colby asked Frank.
“Like I want to blow Norman’s head off. I’d have done it if I hadn’t been so angry I couldn’t remember where I’d put my shotgun.”
“I’ll talk to Norman.”
“It won’t do any good,” Mae told him. “Norman doesn’t have any feelings. Just ask his wife. I don’t know where the money came from, but he’s so rich he thinks he can tell everybody what to do.”
“Are you ready to go back to your wagon?” Colby asked.
Frank nodded.
“You’re not to go looking for Norman.”
“I won’t go looking, but if he comes near me, I won’t be responsible for what I do. If he tells me I should throw away Toby’s things, I
will
kill him. I hope lightning strikes all his oxen.”
“Frank, dear, you can’t wish that on Sibyl. She’s my first cousin once removed,” she explained to Colby.
He had no idea what she was talking about.
“She shouldn’t have married Norman. She knew what he was like,” Frank said.
“It wasn’t her choice, and you know it. Now forget about him,” Mae replied.
Frank got to his feet, but his eyes were full of anger. Colby just hoped his wife had enough influence over him to calm him down. He didn’t want to charge him with murder.
“I’ll go with them,” Dr. Kessling said. “I’ve got something that might help to calm him down.”
Once he was sure Frank was in capable hands, Colby went in search of Norman. Sibyl appeared to have been waiting for Colby. She pointed to their first wagon then walked away.
“Come out,” Colby called.
“Frank tried to kill me.”
“If what they said is true, you deserve it. If you don’t come out, I’ll go in there and drag you out.”
“I’m the head of this wagon train. I can fire you. I
will
fire you.”
“Good, I quit. Now come out, or I’m going in there and beating the hell out of you.”
“You can’t tell me what to do. I’m the richest man in Spencer’s Clearing. I can do—”
Colby reached for the back flap, took a firm grip, and pulled hard. Seams ripped and buttons went flying. Colby grabbed hold of the sides of the wagon and heaved himself inside. A thoroughly frightened Norman cowered at the other end.
“I’ll come out,” he cried. “Just don’t hit me.”
Colby itched to have a reason to plant his fist in the face of this cowardly bully.
“It’s probably best to talk inside. I don’t want anyone to hear what I’m about to say.” Colby took a moment to get his temper under control. It had been years since he’d been this angry with anyone. “I don’t give a damn how much money you have or what your father and grandfather may have done. To me you’re just another member of this wagon train who needs to get to Santa Fe. Everybody’s need to arrive safely is as important as yours. Everyone’s welfare is just as important as yours.”
“You can’t talk to me like that. I pay your wages—”
Colby covered the few feet separating them so quickly Norman didn’t realize what was happening until Colby had grabbed him by the front of his shirt and shaken him so hard his eyes rattled in his head.
“You’re lucky I’m
talking
to you. I’d rather drag you into the open and beat that over-exaggerated opinion of yourself out of you one punch at a time. Instead I’m going to give you a chance to prove you’re not as big a bastard as it appears. Do you understand me? If not, I can stop talking and start slugging.” Colby hoped Norman could see the anger in his eyes. “I like fighting a lot more than talking.”
“I understand,” Norman stammered.
Colby knew he didn’t. He was just afraid for his hide.
“It’s unfortunate that lightning killed your oxen, but that’s
your
misfortune, not anybody else’s. You can either continue with two fewer oxen and hope they keep up their strength, or you can lighten your load by throwing away some of the heaviest items.”
“It’s impossible to—”
Colby tightened his hold on Norman so that he had to gasp for air. “I’m not through. When I’m done, you can say anything you want. It won’t make any difference, but you can say it. Whatever you decide, I will
not
slow up the train for you. You keep up, or you’re on your own. That means you and your wife would have to drive three wagons. Since that’s not possible, you would have to leave one behind. Now the idea of throwing out that heavy sideboard doesn’t seem so bad, does it?”
“That’s my mother’s sideboard. She had it brought all the way from Boston.”
Mentioning a sideboard had been a shot in the dark. Colby had never seen one, just heard them talked about. “Your mother is dead. She doesn’t need it anymore. It doesn’t feel so good when someone says that to you, does it?”
“Don’t talk about my mother like that.”
Colby tightened his hold until Norman could barely manage to breathe. “I didn’t say you could talk. Your mother probably died in bed after a long and comfortable life. Can you even begin to imagine how Frank feels about seeing his only son killed by Indians while the boy was fighting at his side? The boy was nineteen, engaged to a pretty girl, with his whole life ahead of him. By speaking the way you did, you reduced him to no more importance than a piece of livestock.”
Norman’s body started to shake. Colby decided his hold on the man’s throat must be too tight so he relaxed it a little. Norman strained for a big breath.
“You’re going to apologize to Frank,” Colby continued. “I’ll tell you exactly what to say, and you’ll repeat it word for word. If Frank tells you to get the hell out of his sight—which he has every right to do—you will respond only by repeating your apology. In case you’ve forgotten what to say, I’ll remind you. Understand so far?”
Norman nodded.
“After that, you are not to go near Frank unless he invites you. If Frank comes near you, you are to be polite. Since you don’t appear to know how to talk to people in a civilized manner, it would be wise to say as little as possible. Preferably nothing. I expect your wife can say all that’s needed. Understand?”
Another nod.
“One further set of instructions. Stop telling people what to do. I’ll take care of that for you. You’re not to mention your money, and you’re not to mention your grandfather. I expect everyone already knows more than enough about both. If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know. Now I want to make sure you understand before we go to speak to Frank.”
When the nod didn’t come immediately, Colby tightened his hold, which produced the desired effect.
“One last thing. You might be thinking I can’t
force
you to make an apology, and you’re right. I can beat the hell out of you, I can choke you—I’ve spent enough time with Indians to know some rather nasty ways to torture you—but I can’t actually force the words out of your mouth. I can, however, call a meeting of the group and get them to vote you out. Your brother and father-in-law might not vote against you, but after what you did today, everybody else will. Are we clear?”
Norman nodded.
“And you will make the apology?”
He hesitated, but he nodded again.
“Good. Now let’s go.”
Since the Kessling and Spencer wagons were next to each other, Colby wasn’t surprised to find Ben lurking outside the wagon. “I’ve got a job for you,” he said before Ben could scuttle away. “Ask everybody to join Norman and me at the Olivers’ wagon. He has something he wants to say.”
Ben’s eyes grew big and his mouth dropped open, but he recovered in a flash and was off, his summons delivered at the top of his voice as he ran.
“Do you think this is wise?” Naomi asked.
Colby was so glad Naomi spoke to him, he didn’t mind that she didn’t appear pleased to see him. “I think it’s necessary if there’s any chance of healing the divisions in this group.”
“What’s he going to say? Papa said he’s never seen a man closer to a breakdown.”
“Nothing he can say will make losing Toby easier, but he can apologize for being such an insensitive bastard.”
“I’m not sure that will help.”
“Things won’t get better if we don’t try. Come out,” he called to Norman. “I don’t want to have to go in after you.”
Norman’s head emerged from the wagon. He hesitated when he saw Naomi.
“It’s not going to be any easier if you put it off,” Colby told him. “Let’s go.”
They walked together, Norman on one side of Colby and Naomi on the other. Ben came running up.
“I told everybody. Mr. Oliver said he wants to kill Norman. He said he doesn’t care if he hangs for it.”
Norman looked ready to bolt.
“He’s not going to kill you,” Colby said. “It’s just his anger speaking.”
“He’s tried it already.”
“You’re going to apologize to make sure he doesn’t try again. Not another word from you,” he said to Ben. “You’ve said enough.”
Ben started to defend himself but thought better of it.
By the time they reached the Oliver wagon, people were gathered three-deep around Frank and Mae. A look of shock came over many faces when they saw Norman.
“Norman has come to apologize,” Colby announced. “That’s why he wanted all of you to be present.”
Colby pulled Norman forward until he was facing Frank and Mae at the center of the circle. Frank started to jump up from his seat. Mae’s restraining hand caused him to sink back, but it didn’t change the look of black fury on his face. Colby hoped it was more anguish than hatred. Mae faced Norman squarely, her gaze steady and challenging.
“Norman wants to say that he’s sorry for Toby’s death. He knows Toby died so that the rest of you could be safe. That was a heroic sacrifice, and he wants to acknowledge it.”
Norman’s first words were mumbled.
“Frank can’t hear you,” Colby said. “Start again, and look at Frank and Mae so they’ll know you mean it.”
When Norman finished, Sibyl came to stand next to him.
“I want to join Norman in saying how sorry I am for Toby’s death.” She turned her glance to Polly Drummond. “He would have made a wonderful husband and father.” Somehow she managed to convey the impression that her standing next to Norman was a duty but that her words were sincere.
“Norman is particularly sorry for his thoughtless and insensitive words to Frank and Mae,” Colby continued. “He didn’t mean to be cruel. He was just too busy thinking of himself, which is a habit he is going to work very hard to break.”
There was an audible intake of breath, and all eyes turned to Norman.
Norman managed the first two sentences. It took some prompting from Colby—in the form of a jab in the side—before he managed to repeat the last one.
“He realizes his loss is no one’s responsibility but his own. If he can’t keep up, he’ll choose something to leave behind.”
Norman’s gaze had dropped to the ground.
“Frank and Mae aren’t going to believe you if you don’t look at them,” Colby prompted.
Norman stumbled through the words, but he did lift his head.