To Kill An Angel (8 page)

It seemed like a wave of irritability washed over me within seconds of hanging up with her.  I got up to pace into the kitchen, walking by the windows and looking out at the morning.  As I roamed back and forth, I began to feel like a caged animal, unable to go where I wanted, do what I wanted because of a condition that kept me prisoner inside my own body.  

The longer I paced, the more Mom’s obstinacy simmered in my veins like a venomous soup, making me angrier and angrier.  I began to feel that uncomfortable icy heat work its way from my chest into my limbs.  My throat burned with an increasing thirst and my temper grew touchier by the minute.

When Bo’s hand touched my shoulder, I whirled around, ready to lash out.  The concern and understanding on his handsome face gave me pause, however, bringing me up short.

“You need to feed again, Ridley.”

I was so aggravated it took a moment for his words to penetrate the red haze in my mind.  When it did, I looked down at my hands.  I could still see them, but they were nowhere near as apparent as they’d been earlier.

I looked up and met Bo’s eyes.  “So soon?”

“Yes, but it won’t always be like this.  Your body is still changing and adjusting.  What you’re going through causes a huge amount of stress on your body, using more blood than you normally would.  Plus, we’ve been very active and now you’re upset.”

His mention of my current irritation only served to bring my attention back to it.

“I could just throttle her!” I ground out through my tightly-gritted teeth, balling my fingers into angry fists.

“Emotions run stronger and hotter the closer you are to needing to feed.  Then, it just makes it worse.”

As I thought about feeding, my mouth watered in response, but my mind grew more troubled.  Bo must’ve sensed it.

“What’s wrong?  I don’t like that look.”

Out of habit, I worried my lip with my teeth.  When something sharp cut into my flesh, it reminded me that deadly teeth went along with thoughts like those.

“Bo, do you think I’ll learn to like animal blood?  I mean, what am I going to do if…”

When I’d thought of becoming a vampire, I’d never really considered feeding or that I might have issues with where the blood came from.  My vision of it had been extremely romanticized, much to my detriment.

“Don’t worry about it.  I’m sure that will change with time.  And if it doesn’t, you still won’t need to worry. I’ll feed you, baby,” he said, cupping my cheek with his wide palm.  “What’s mine is yours, even my blood.”

I didn’t want to ask what would happen if and when he had to kill his father and he would be mortal again.  That would change everything.  What if I couldn’t feed from him anymore?  What if doing so would risk his sanity, risk his life?  Plus, even if he could tolerate it, he wouldn’t be with me forever.  We’d only have a single, short lifetime together.

I shook off those thoughts as Bo took my hand.  He tilted his head toward the hall.

“Come on.”

Anticipation curled in my stomach and washed away rational thought as he led me to the bedroom at the back of the house.  At the doorway, he bent and scooped me up, carrying me in to lay me gently on the velvet duvet.

At Bo’s suggestion, so neither of us would lose control, I sat between his legs again, much as I had that first time, with my back to his chest. 

When he tore open his wrist for me, I was immediately whisked away by the winds of scent and thirst.  It was far too easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of pleasure.

Apparently I had been feeding for some time before I became aware of Bo’s low voice reminding me to focus.  At that point, though it was a struggle, I did manage to bring myself under control. 

By the time Bo took his wrist from my mouth, I’d gotten almost enough to completely quench my thirst.  Almost.

Bo pushed away from behind me then slid around to my side where he encouraged me to turn over so he could spoon me.  We lay like that for several minutes before I spoke.

My head spun lightly and I felt a lethargy fall down over me like a warm, cozy blanket.  It was a sensation that I hadn’t noticed after my last two feedings.

“Why am I so tired?” I asked Bo, my speech sounding slurred even to my own ears.

“Probably because you haven’t slept any.  We don’t need much sleep, but we do require some.”

I didn’t turn to look at him, just let the rumble of his voice soothe me until I felt the bliss of a deep rest overtake me.

I don’t know how long I’d been asleep when I heard Bo’s voice again.  It felt like only seconds, but when I craned my neck around to look at him, I saw that he was asleep as well.

His form had faded a little, probably because I’d taken so much of his blood, and he was sleeping fitfully.  His brow was furrowed and he muttered unintelligible things.  Some words he uttered more clearly, but they weren’t in a language that I understood.  I wondered whether or not I should wake him, but that decision was soon taken out of my hands.

I was leaning over Bo when his eyes popped open.  They had already begun to turn that pale, translucent green, but even so, they sucked me in, just like they always did.

And then he spoke.  One word.  A name.  And it wasn’t mine.

“Annika?”

CHAPTER SIX

I could see the confusion in his eyes as he looked at me. 

“Bo?”

He visibly struggled to untangle himself from his dream and I knew the instant that he was completely free of its clutches.  The light of recognition burned in his eyes, but it didn’t ease his frown.

“Ridley?”

“It’s me, Bo.”

He touched my face with his fingertips before he sat up and looked around.

“I guess I needed some sleep, too,” he said, throwing a sheepish grin over his shoulder at me.

“What were you dreaming about?”  I knew that, despite my best efforts to sound casual, I sounded anything but.

“I don’t really know.  Some village in Sweden.  At least that’s where I think it was.  It seemed familiar somehow, like I’ve been there before, like I might’ve lived there.  I was in some sort of school or maybe an orphanage, and there were people there that I knew.  It seemed like it was a long, long time ago, though.  There were no lights, only candles, and all the furniture seemed really…old.  I don’t know.  It was very strange.”

As he talked, Bo seemed hesitant to meet my eyes.

“Bo, who’s Annika?”

His eyes darted to mine.

“Where did you hear that name?”

“You mentioned her a few minutes ago.  Who is she?”

Bo didn’t answer at first.  He simply looked at me.  As I waited for his response, however, he began to fade.  Quickly.  It was as if someone was erasing him right before my very eyes.

“Bo, you’re fading!”

Bo looked down at his hands, turning them over to look at his palms.  His form disappeared a little bit more in the few seconds it took him to examine himself.

“Why are you fading so fast?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“Does it have something to do with your dreams?”

Again, his pale eyes twitched up to me, but this time they darted away just as quickly.

“Maybe.  It felt almost like…like…”

“Like what?” I prompted when he continued to stammer. 

“Like memories.”

“But Sebastian- he said—”

My heart sank a little.  Sebastian had said that Bo’s memory was faulty now because it had been tampered with so much.  He said that Bo would never remember the rest of his life, only this portion.  But what if Sebastian was wrong?  What if Bo could remember?  What if he
was
remembering?  And if that was the case, should the girl, Annika, worry me?

“I don’t know that they were definitely memories.  I just said that they felt a little bit like that.  It’s not very clear at all.”

“Why now?  I mean, have you had dreams like this before?”

Bo shrugged.

“Not that I can remember, not like this.”

“Then why now?”

Bo shook his head.

“I don’t know, Ridley.  I just don’t know.”

We sat quietly on the bed, each of us lost in thought, until Bo stood abruptly.

“I’ll be invisible soon.  I need to feed.  Since it’s daylight and you should be in school, you’d better stay here,” Bo suggested.  “It won’t take me very long anyway.”

Though I knew he was right, his words still hurt for some reason, as if he was shutting me out, purposely excluding me from whatever was going on with him.

My rational side reminded me that it was probably nothing and that everyone was due a little privacy.  But the ridiculously emotional side of me, the side that found it impossible to think clearly about all things pertaining to Bo, felt threatened by his utterance of another girl’s name.  It only exacerbated my insecurity when I thought about how we’d been in bed together when he’d made the mistake and that I’d been trying to wake him up.  Had he awakened to Annika before?

I threw my legs over the side of the bed and followed Bo to the front door.  He opened it, already practically invisible in the morning light, and turned back to me.  I could see the shimmer of his face where the sun streamed onto the stoop and made his shape look wavy.

“I’ll be back soon.  Lock the door.”

With that, he brushed a quick kiss over my lips and then he was gone.  I stood in the doorway, looking out over the hillside, unseeing.  Then, somberly, I turned, closing and locking the door behind me.

I stood in the foyer for nearly an hour letting my mind flitter from here to there before I realized that I’d been standing there that long.  I made a mental note to myself that I’d have to stay on top of the strange stamina that came with being a vampire.   Standing perfectly still, lost in thought, for such long periods of time would be a dead giveaway.  Pun intended.

When I finally managed to pull myself from deep inside my own head, I wandered aimlessly through the house, clueless as to how I might occupy my time until Bo returned.  And where was Bo, by the way?  Earlier, it had only taken him a few minutes to fell that deer and feed from it. 

After that, I found it impossible to keep my mind from straying back to his dream.  I couldn’t help wondering if he was avoiding me for some reason. 

Ruthlessly, I pushed those thoughts aside.  I had no reason to doubt Bo, only a thousand and one reasons to trust him—with my heart and my life.  I decided right then that if I had to remind myself of that on an hourly basis, I wouldn’t let myself forget it.

Relief flooded me when the doorbell rang.  Though at first I thought it odd that Bo would ring the bell, I remembered that I’d locked the door and that he had no key.

Rushing back to the foyer, I flipped open the locks and flung wide the door, only to be greeted by two unfamiliar faces.  Though neither was Bo, they were both equally stunning.

The male and female standing on the stoop were a study in beauty and contrast.  My enhanced mind cataloged their features and scents in an instant, starting with the girl.