To Love and Protect (25 page)

"Call as soon as you find out something," Dave said as he patted her on the shoulder. "We're all with you on this, you know."

Shelley couldn't help but remember how Dave had said those exact words two and a half years ago, when Ted had been shot and it was initially uncertain just how serious things were. And like a bad dream, it was happening once again. Her fear had come true.

"Dan!" Shelley explained as she spotted him in the emergency waiting room. "Have you heard anything?"

He moved over so Shelley could sit beside him. "One of the operating nurses just came out a few minutes ago to give an update. She said they removed a bullet from his spleen − and the spleen itself − and another bullet from his neck."

Shelley gasped, knowing what the repercussions of such a wound could be.

"It didn't penetrate any bone or nerves," Sergeant Rinaldi said as though knowing exactly where her thoughts had wandered. "So they don't think he'll suffer any kind of paralysis."

Shelly forcibly let out the pocket of air she had been holding in her lungs. "Oh, thank god!"

"But he's not out of the woods yet, Shelley. I just want to be upfront with you about that. He's lost a lot of blood, and from what the nurse said, sometimes the remaining blood has a hard time clotting as a result. They're giving him transfusions, and all we can do is hope and pray that he'll pull through. He's a strong, healthy guy. If it were me − heck, I probably wouldn't have made it through the ambulance ride over here.  But he’s a fighter, Shelley. You have to know that.”

She nodded weakly. “I know.”

"And I also know that he has a lot to be fighting for right now. He's found a woman he cares about deeply, and I know Matt − he's not going to let go of that if he can help it."
If he can help it, Shelley repeated in her mind. That was supposing he could truly do something about his condition. But he had no more control over it than she did herself.

"Wait," Sergeant Rinaldi said as he nodded toward an approaching doctor, wrapped head to toe in blue scrubs. "I think that might be one of the surgeons."

"I'm Doctor Jennison," he said as he shook both their hands. "Matt is being moved to intensive care right now."

No longer able to hold her emotions in, Shelley began crying, the tears coming faster than she could possibly wipe away with her hands. Sergeant Rinaldi put his arm around her and held her up.

"I know that probably doesn't sound good," the surgeon said, "but it's only as a precaution after the surgery he's just had. We need to monitor him very closely to make sure his blood is clotting properly."

"What about the surgery itself?" Sergeant Rinaldi asked.
"It went as well as it could. We successfully removed the bullets, and like I said, it's just a matter of his body regaining strength to get through the next few hours. But I think he'll do it."

Shelley's swollen eyes popped open. "You think he's going to be okay?"
"I wish I could say with one-hundred percent certainty, but this is medicine, and there's always the uncertainty factor. But based on what I see, I think he'll pull through."

Shelley clutched Sergeant Rinaldi's hand so tight that he let out a small yelp. "Did you hear that?" she effused, her own strength returning. "Thank you so much, Doctor, for everything you've done!"

She held out her hand, and though Doctor Jennison initially held his own back while watching the sergeant rub his knuckles, he soon smiled and shook Shelley's hand vigorously.

"Can we see him?" she asked.

"He won't be waking up for a while. I'll have a nurse from ICU come down and let you know when they're ready to have you look in on him."

Fifteen minutes later, a nurse came over to Shelley and Sergeant Rinaldi. By this point it seemed as if the whole police department and each officer's family were crowding every available inch of the waiting room. Ken and Nicole had arrived just minutes earlier, explaining to Shelley that Matt's parents were vacationing in Florida and would be taking the first available flight back.

"It's okay to visit with Officer Reardon for a few minutes," the nurse advised, "but only two people at a time."

"Go ahead," Ken said generously to Shelley. "We'll wait."

Shelley thanked Ken and turned to Sergeant Rinaldi. "Do you want to come with me?"

"You go on in by yourself. I think Matt would want it that way."

Shelley followed the nurse to the elevator and down the third floor corridor to the Intensive Care Unit.

"It's not going to look pretty," the nurse warned as she opened the door to Matt's room. "But just remember that all these tubes and bandages are temporary."

Shelley swallowed hard and entered the room, sitting down beside the hospital bed and taking Matt's lifeless hand in her own.

"He's still under sedation," the nurse explained.

Shelley nodded. "Will he know I'm here?"

"He might. I used to tell visitors 'no,' but there've been too many times when a patient wakes up − even from a coma − and insist they knew that their loved ones were in the room."

She checked Matt's vital sign on the monitor, then looked back at Shelley. "I'll just be outside if you need anything."

"Thank you." Shelley felt several tears roll down her cheek, but she took a deep breath and tried to stay strong. He's alive, she told herself. He'll pull through this. Slowly, she leaned over the bed and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm so sorry this happened to you," she said quietly. "But you're strong and you'll get through this, Matt. I know you will. You have to. What would Carly do without you? She'd be lost." Shelley wiped away more tears.
"I'd
be lost."

She let out a gasp as she felt the slightest squeeze on her hand. Could it be that he knew what she was saying? She gently squeezed his hand back and put her other hand on top of it. Five minutes later, she leaned over again and kissed him once more. "I think I'd better give everyone else a chance to visit with you. Everyone misses you and loves you Matt.
Everyone.”

"How is he?" Sergeant Rinaldi asked as Shelley met him in the waiting area.

"He's still unconscious, but the nurse said it's because of all the drugs they've given him."

"He'll be okay, Shelley."

Afraid to start crying again, Shelley momentarily looked away. "What about Carly?" she finally asked when she turned back. "Who's taking care of her?”

"Joyce already insisted we take Carly for a while. One of the nurses is going through Matt's things to get his keys, so we'll probably pick her up later this afternoon."

"That's good. I know he'd want her to be okay."

Sergeant Rinaldi smiled. "Always looking out for the critters, aren't you."

"That's me."

"Well, they're lucky to have you. And so is Matt.”

Shelley smiled, but the words cut into her like a heated knife. He had her now, and he would always have her love, but she couldn't live this way. She had to choose between love and a life free from loss. And she had already experienced enough loss. She closed her eyes, knowing what that ultimately would mean.

Matt struggled to open his eyes in the dimly lit hospital room, but it wasn't easy. Even his eyelids ached. He wasn't sure if anyone had ever been rolled over by a Zamboni ice machine and lived to tell of it, but he was certain that such a person couldn't be in more pain than he was now. Medication helped, but he had asked to have the dose lowered after it left him feeling disoriented and not in control of his thoughts. His thoughts weren't pleasant right now, considering that both his waking and sleeping moments were consumed with disturbing images of the event that had landed him in the hospital, but they were still his thoughts.

He squinted at the clock on the wall: 2:30 a.m. Squinting more, he waited for the room to come into focus. His weak body nevertheless lurched when he spotted Shelley sleeping in a chair across from him. For a moment he felt his aching subside. Perhaps there really was such a thing as a mind-body connection to pain, he thought. He stared at Shelley as intently as his stinging eyes allowed. Even squashed up in a chair, her clothes rumpled and long hair askew, she was beautiful beyond words to him.

He looked away for a moment, the image of a point-blank gun jarring his thoughts. He couldn't remember anything of the shooting when he had first woken up two days ago, but his memory had recently been making up for lost time. He recalled the remorseless, cold stare behind the trigger moments before blanking out, the blast that sounded like it was in another dimension as his world began to fade away, the searing pain that disappeared as he floated into unconsciousness. He closed his eyes, his last conscious thought that had followed the blast of the gun now filtering back. Shelley. In that fraction of a moment, as he hovered between life and death, he had thought of Shelley. Not about how much he loved her, because that was a given. Not about how he wished he could say good-bye, but he wasn't ready to die. But what this would now do to her. If he did die, all his earlier reassurances, his insistence that history wouldn't repeat itself, would have been for naught. Shelley would be destroyed − that's what he had thought before losing consciousness. And he, though not deliberately, would be the destroyer.

Matt closed his eyes tighter as he winced in pain. To think that he could have caused more suffering to the woman he loved was more than he could bear. And yet, here she was in the room beside him. Heck, she had even left her pets to fend for themselves back home just so she could be by his side. He was kidding with himself as he made the observation, but he also knew there was at least a grain of truth to it.

Slowly he opened his eyes, the steak knives behind his pain now butter knifes.

Maybe she really does love me after all,
Matt thought with a weak smile. It was a thought as potent an opiate as morphine.

FOURTEEN

It was a full week before Matt was ready to be discharged from the hospital. During that time, Shelley visited constantly, falling asleep in the chair beside his bed every night. There was much to think about, but it could wait. Having Matt healthy again took precedence over everything else.

"Well, look at you!" Matt's mother, Emily, exclaimed as she and Matt's father, Ralph, came to by to witness his release from the hospital. "You finally have your color back!"

"He does look good, doesn't he," Shelley observed.

Matt rolled his eyes. "Would you two stop fussing over me!"

His mother laughed. "Come on now. We just care about you, that's all. You act as if I'm going to kiss you now in front of all these people in the room."

Shelley laughed as Matt cautiously viewed the room full of family and fellow officers. "You can't do that in front of all these guys. They'll think I'm a big momma's boy."

Matt's declaration seemed to be all Emily needed to reach over and kiss her son with a loud "smack" on the cheek. The room broke out in applause and laughter.

"Now you really have some color in your face," Shelley said as Matt's cheek turned pink.

"I wish you
were
a momma's boy," Emily said. "At least then you'd listen to me and become an insurance salesman instead of being a police officer."

Matt's father laughed. "I think that would kill him more than being a police officer."

Emily turned to Shelley and rolled her eyes. "Men. They never outgrow the macho thing, do they."

Shelley smiled. In the last week she had gotten to know Matt's parents well, and she enjoyed their warm, open company. It was clear they happily approved of her as their son's girlfriend, too.

"So you're going to take it easy for a while, right?" Emily prodded her son good-naturedly.

“Yup. As soon as I get home, I'm going to head down to the gym and go a few rounds in the boxing ring."