To Love and to Cherish (28 page)

Emma let the letter flutter to her lap. Was he asking her those questions or himself? Plain folk didn’t think of themselves as better for being different. Not different, but set apart. Humbly accepting God’s providence. Not expecting it or earning it.

She slapped the letter into the envelope. Two remained. She studied the envelopes, tempted to continue reading. Carl had been so adamant about it. The light-hearted joker had disappeared into a man buffeted by his own emotions. Why? What had he written that he couldn’t say to her? He’d written the dates in the upper left-hand corner, where normally one found the return address. He probably never intended to send them and having the dates allowed her to read them in the proper order. Puzzled, she examined the last two side by side. The gap stared back at her. After the next letter, Carl hadn’t written another one for over three years. He’d written six letters in a few months’ time, then stopped.

She tapped her finger on the next envelope. She started to open it, then stopped. If she didn’t go to bed now, she’d be a wooly-headed teacher tomorrow. Her responsibilities called to her. She’d spent enough time mooning over Carl this evening. Time to go to bed. Resolute, she tied up the envelopes in the ribbon and climbed the stairs.

Carl had waited four years to come back to Bliss Creek. A stack of letters couldn’t change that, no matter what secrets lay on those pages. She would tell him so—after she finished reading the letters.

A
men.” Luke cleared his throat and looked up. “If this ham tastes as good as it smells, we are having a real feast tonight.”

Pleased at her brother’s obvious good mood, Emma slapped a thick slice of the baked ham on Luke’s plate and another on Josiah’s. Annie followed behind her with a bowl of fried potatoes, while Leah served the children, who were chattering among themselves about a coyote they claimed to have seen on the walk home from school. Emma hoped they’d mistaken a stray dog for the wild creature. Coyotes had been destroying their livestock. She hated to think of the children running into one of them out in the middle of nowhere. “Did you get the pigs back behind the fence?”

“Jah, but the coyotes killed two of them.” Luke dug a fork into the ham and began to cut it with his knife. “We closed the hole up completely. We can’t afford to lose any more livestock.”

“It seems like the coyotes are getting closer this year,” Josiah mused. “Mark told me the carcasses you found were up on the knoll that overlooks the pond. That’s right in our backyard, practically.”

“The snow’s come earlier this year. It forces them to hunt closer to us. They have to look harder for food.” Luke shook his head. “It is so cold out there, I think my breath froze. What about you, Josiah? How were things at the blacksmith shop?”

Emma couldn’t decide if Luke sounded a little wistful. If he missed working in his shop, he never mentioned it. Josiah had gone back to work the day after Thanksgiving, despite his cast. The bruises on his face had turned an odd shade of yellow and green.

“Very quiet.” Josiah spoke with a mouth full of ham. Emma had to stop herself from chiding him. Josiah was a grown man now. “I cleaned the stables and restocked all day.”

Luke looked pleased. “Good, honest work.”

“I’m not complaining.” Josiah loaded his fork with potatoes. “It was cold, but I like that better than the heat in the summer. When you get the forge going, it’s like being inside a fireplace all day.”

“Walking home from the Jensons’ house this afternoon, I nearly froze my toes off.” Catherine passed a basket of hot-from-the-oven bread to Annie. “Tomorrow I’m doubling up on my socks if I can still get my feet into my boots.”

Annie laughed. “You could wear mine. My feet are bigger than yours.”

“I’m glad tomorrow is my last day cleaning. I need to get my dress done and the house cleaned.”

“We have everything we need for the meal,” Annie said. “I’m so glad the bishop decided to allow gas-powered refrigerators. It makes it so much easier to make food in advance and store it.”

“No more going to the common freezer at the bishop’s house,” Catherine agreed. “And everything keeps so much longer.”

“It’s a blessing. I can help you with your dress tonight. If we don’t finish, there’s always tomorrow.”

“I liked canned meat. Easier doesn’t mean better.” Luke paused, his fork in mid-air, a hunk of ham hanging from it. “Annie, you’ll need to deliver your desserts tomorrow. Don’t you have a big order for the Millers’ birthday party?”

Annie seemed to concentrate on a serving of stewed tomatoes on her plate. “Everything is ready. I just need to deliver it.”

“Mark can go with you. He can help carry things into their house.”

Mark’s chest puffed up. “I could drive the wagon, too.”

Emma saw a touch of sadness in Annie’s eyes, but her sister smiled at Mark. “That would be nice. I’m glad to have your company.”

Emma nudged her with an elbow, hoping Leah didn’t notice. Annie shook her head and pushed potatoes around with a fork. Finally she put a small piece in her mouth. Emma nudged again and tilted her head toward Luke.

Annie swallowed. She glanced at Luke, then away. “I was thinking, bruder. With the produce stand shut down for the winter we have less money coming in right now. It might be a good time for me to get a job in Bliss Creek.” Her cheeks reddened to the color of apples. “Just until spring.”

Emma stepped on Annie’s toe.
Go on!

Annie glared at her. Emma glared back. She glanced at Luke. His frown didn’t bode well. Annie dropped her fork, picked it up. Still, she didn’t elaborate. Emma shook her head and dove in. “Home Town Restaurant has an opening for a cook. I saw the sign in the window when I went into town for school supplies.”

Luke’s frown deepened. Leah wiggled next to him, her lips pressed together in a thin line. She sniffed. “How could you consider working in the restaurant? They have electrical appliances. They play music all day over loudspeakers. Tourists from Wichita and Emporia come to town to look for Amish furniture and eat there. The Weavers are nice Englisch folks, but they would expect you to use the dishwasher and the electric stove. I don’t think they make a lot of that food. It comes frozen.” Leah wound down, finally out of breath. She inhaled before anyone else could speak. “Much too worldly.”

“I go to Englisch people’s houses every day,” Catherine pointed out. “They have TVs and radios and electric stoves.”

“None of which you use.” Luke’s stern stare made Emma glad he was talking to Catherine and not her. He sounded so much like Daed. “Your agreement with Daed was that you would do nothing in those houses that you would not do here at home. That agreement still stands even though…”

His voice faltered for a second. Emma wanted to finish the sentence
for him, but she didn’t dare. He cleared his throat. “Even though Daed is gone.”

“They’re at work when I come to clean.” Catherine’s words tumbled on top of each other. Luke was making her nervous. “Everything is turned off. I don’t turn anything on. Besides, after the wedding, I’m done. I’ve already given them notice.”

“Gut.”

“Annie could do the same thing at the restaurant.” Emma kept her tone respectful. “She could make the salads and do the preparations before the food is cooked. She could make breads and desserts here and take them to the restaurant. With Catherine getting married, we’ll not have her income.”

Luke cut himself another slice of ham. He carefully chopped it into smaller pieces without speaking. Emma had to loosen her grip on her own fork. She wanted to say more, but she knew better. If Luke didn’t want to talk about it anymore, the conversation was over.

“We’ll also have one less person to feed and clothe.” He took a bite, chewed, and swallowed. “And one less person to help with the chores. Annie will have more to do here. As will you, Emma. The answer is no.”

That was it.
No
. Emma sneaked a peek at Annie. She had her eyes on her slice of bread, carefully buttering it, but her downcast face told the story. At least they’d tried. Maybe Luke did know best. He’d been right about Josiah.

“No restaurant, but I heard Sadie Plank has been looking for someone to help her part-time at the bakery since John passed.” Luke leaned back in his chair and took a long swallow from his glass of water. “It’s not preparing full meals like you want, but Sadie’s Plain folk, and she’ll keep an eye on you.”

Leah didn’t look happy. “All those Englisch folks go into the bakery.”

“That’s why the bakery is able to stay in business.” Luke held up his glass. Catherine filled it with more water. “Our women folk make our baked goods. We don’t need to buy them. Besides, it’s only until Annie marries.”

“You’re right.” Leah bowed her head. “It’s just that it won’t be long now until the baby comes.”

So that’s what she was worried about. Emma hurried to assure her—and Luke. “We’ll all be here to help when the baby comes. I’m sure Catherine will still want to help. Don’t you worry. Even the twins will help.”

“Yes, yes!” Mary and Lillie crowed in unison. “We want to take care of the baby.”

Leah gave Emma a grateful smile and went back to her corn on the cob.

“In the meantime, I’ll speak with Sadie about Annie coming to work for her.” Luke stood. “Finish up now. Then finish your chores. Bedtime will come before you know it.”

The conversation was over. Emma grinned at Annie. It wasn’t exactly what her sister wanted, but it would allow her to contribute more to the family while enjoying her love of cooking. And if Sadie agreed to the arrangement, Annie would be spending more time in town with more opportunities to run into the young men who went to the harness shop or the blacksmith shop, the feed store, and the hardware store.

It was all very good.

After the dishes were washed and the kitchen spotless, Emma worked her way through a pile of mending, finishing just as the sun began to sink beyond the horizon. She stuck the needle in the pin cushion and stretched her arms over her head. Annie and Catherine had laid out the cloth for the wedding dress and were cutting the pieces. It would be beautiful. They seemed engrossed in their work, so Emma lifted her skirt a little and ran up the stairs. She had a few minutes before bedtime.

Carl’s sixth letter was dated about three months after he left home. It was the longest letter yet, a page filled with his familiar spidery cursive. Emma took a deep breath. She glanced at the door. Her sisters would be coming to bed any minute.

Emma clutched the page to her chest and rocked for a second. He had a way with words—written words. Silvery words. That’s what Aenti Louise would call them. If he really loved her that much, why did it take him four years to come back? She wanted to ask him that question, yet she didn’t want to know the answer. Maybe the answer was in the last letter, written almost three years later. She reached for it.

Annie’s high-pitched laughter sounded on the stairs. Emma whipped the letters under the pillow with the others. By the time Annie and Catherine tumbled into the room, still laughing and talking, Emma stood by the row of hooks on the wall, holding her nightgown. “You two sure are silly tonight.”

Annie pranced across the room and snatched her nightgown from its hook. “That’s because there’s romance in the air.”

“And it causes you to act silly?” Emma couldn’t help but laugh. “Silly, silly.”

“Not silly. Happy.” Catherine tugged off her kapp and grabbed a brush from the small stand next to the bed she shared with Annie. She let down her long, wheat-colored hair and began to brush. “Just think. A few more nights and I’ll be out of this house. I’ll be living in my own house with Melvin. No more cleaning other people’s houses. No more Luke telling me what I can and cannot do anymore.”

“Luke isn’t so bad.” Emma objected. The words sounded halfhearted in her ears.
Instead, Melvin will tell you what to do
. She kept that rebellious thought to herself. “He’s letting Annie work at the bakery.”