To Love and to Cherish (14 page)

Laurie didn't look up from what she was stirring in a big pot. “We had lots of snow in Kentucky. I hated it.”

The smell from the big pot was so enticing Jared had to know what was in it. When he looked in, all he could see was a thick, brown soupy mixture with lumps. “What is that? It smells delicious, but it looks like mud.”

Laurie chuckled. “It's beans and beef with tomatoes, garlic, and other seasoning. Colby taught me how to make it. He said he practically lived on it when he was on the trail during the winter.”

Jared inhaled deeply. “Can I taste it?”

“It's not done yet. The flavors need time to mingle.”

He inhaled again, but this time he was so close he caught Laurie's scent. All thoughts of beans and beef went out of his mind. If he didn't move, he was going to touch her. He forced himself to back away and take a seat at the table. It would be impossible to touch her from there. It would also hide the effect she had on him.

“I had been planning to make this when it turned cold.”

“Looks like you chose the perfect day.”

A sudden gust of wind sent a cascade of snowflakes crashing against the windowpanes. Warmth from the kitchen melted the flakes, and drops of water raced down each pane. If it kept snowing, there'd be icicles hanging from the roof. The water in the troughs would freeze overnight, and they'd have to heat drinking water for the horses. Even though the river was shallow, he doubted it would freeze. The longhorns would have no trouble finding water. All they had to do was find a way to keep warm.

“I could tell by mid-morning it was going to be cold, but I didn't think it was going to snow.”

Jared sipped his coffee and worried about her getting home. He wasn't anxious about her safety. He would make the drive with her. It was the cold that troubled him. It was a long way to town, and the wind was winding up to a good blow. It was crazy to consider an hour-long trip with snow blowing in her face and the cold knifing through her coat. The only alternative was—

The kitchen door burst open, and Loomis entered in a cloud of snow.

“It's a gol-darned blizzard out there,” he said.

Laurie didn't turn around. She kept stirring, trying to calm the storm inside her. She couldn't spend the night here! It would give rise to exactly the kind of gossip Norman had predicted. She couldn't give him the satisfaction of being right.

“Did you hear me, ma'am?” Loomis asked. “The snow's coming down so hard you can't see more than ten or twenty yards.”

“I did hear you, Loomis.” She kept stirring. “I know it looks bad now, but it never snows long here. I wouldn't be surprised if it clears up in less than an hour.”

It didn't. Two hours later, it was still snowing. Odell and Steve returned from bringing in a load of wood.

Steve's eyes glowed with excitement. “If this keeps up, there's going to be a foot of snow on the ground.” He turned to Laurie. “You'll have to stay the night here. You'll never get home through that. I wouldn't be surprised if the river freezes.”

“It's never done that,” Laurie said.

“According to the soldiers at the fort, it's never snowed like this,” Jared said. “This is one of those freak storms that doesn't follow any rules. I can't let you go out in that storm.”

The men had been gathered around the table for the last two hours, eating, talking, smoking, and drinking coffee. The awareness that she couldn't venture out into the storm had been circulating in the room for hours, but Steve putting it into words gave it a weight it hadn't had until now. Everyone stopped and turned to look at her.

“You can sleep in my old room,” Steve offered.

“I can't,” Laurie protested. “I don't have anything to sleep in.” Why had she said that? She couldn't spend the night here. She should have asked how they were going to get her home if it didn't stop. She should have left earlier. The men could have handled supper by themselves. All they had to do was keep the pot simmering until it was time to eat. Instead she'd stayed, certain the snow would stop like it always had. Now she was stuck.

She hadn't brought anything from her house because she'd never intended to stay here past suppertime. The last three winters had been mild with no more than a smattering of snow. How could she have anticipated a blizzard?

“We can find you something to wear,” Jared assured her.

“What?” Steve asked.

“I don't know yet,” Jared said, “but we should be able to think of something.”

Odell stood. “I'm heading to the bunkhouse before the snow gets any deeper. I expect we'll be in the saddle early tomorrow. Texas longhorns don't know what to do with this much snow.”

“Jared's Herefords would,” Steve said. “That's why he wants them.”

“I want them because they carry fifty pounds more meat per animal,” Jared said. “Being able to rustle about in the snow is an added advantage.”

During supper the men had argued the virtues of one breed over another, but the moment Laurie washed the last dish, they stood and headed out of the house. She was left with Jared.

“We should have been prepared for something like this,” he said.

“I wouldn't have agreed to come out here if I hadn't been certain I could go home every evening.” She dried her hands and hung the towel up to dry. There was nothing else to require her attention. She turned to face Jared, her heart pounding against her rib cage. “Are you sure I can't get back to town?”

“If this were an emergency, I'd bundle you up in enough blankets to survive a snowstorm three times this bad, and the six of us would try to get you home. But it's not an emergency, and I don't want to endanger my men and horses. Not to mention endangering you.”

Laurie had known what the answer must be. She supposed she'd asked to convince herself. At least she could tell Naomi and Sibyl she hadn't had a choice. “Do you want some more coffee?” she asked Jared.

“No. I'd better get to bed. Odell is right about the longhorns. They're used to heat and drought, not cold and snow. You don't have to go to bed yet.”

She didn't want to think of going to bed. The idea of sleeping across the hall from Jared filled her with alarm. She was sure he'd be a perfect gentleman, but she wouldn't get a wink of sleep thinking about him less than a dozen steps away. She'd had trouble concentrating all day. Even when both of them were busy in different places, she could almost feel his presence. She would never be able to forget his kisses. They had awakened her body as well as her soul. Now just looking at him would cause her temperature to rise. She'd been able to console herself with the assurance that she could go home and get herself under control before she had to face him again. Now she wouldn't have that chance to calm down, to force herself to think of something else. He'd be close by with no one between them.

“There's no point in staying up,” she told him. “Keeping the kitchen warm will just waste wood. Besides, you'll need a hot breakfast before you ride out tomorrow.” It took an act of willpower to force herself to face leaving the safety of the kitchen. She picked up the single kerosene lamp that had dispelled the gloom in the kitchen from the center of the table. “You really don't have to find something for me to wear. I can sleep in my undergarments.”

Jared held the door for her to precede him into the hallway. “I know enough about women's undergarments to know they won't keep you warm.”

She would have guessed that, but she wished he hadn't told her. Now she couldn't stop thinking of how he'd obtained that knowledge. She paused in the hall long enough for Jared to fetch and light a lamp that had been sitting on his desk in the parlor. The extra light penetrated the dark corners and lifted her spirits. They stopped outside the door to Steve's room. She'd cleaned the room and changed the sheets earlier in the week in case Steve wanted to return to his bed. She'd never imagined that she'd be using it.

“If you don't have enough quilts, there are more in the wardrobe. I'll be in as soon as I find something for you to wear.”

She wanted to tell him that was unnecessary, but she was afraid he'd explain why her clothing—she was sure he could name each item and describe it in detail—wasn't sufficient to keep her warm. Unable to think of anything to say, she went into the room and closed the door behind her.

There was nothing about the room to indicate that a young boy had lived there. She guessed the furnishings had belonged to Steve's parents' bedroom. The bed was a four-poster covered with a bedspread of tufted cotton and lace trim. A patchwork quilt lay across the end of the bed. She took a second one from the bottom of the wardrobe. The curtains at the window were floral.

Several quaint sayings such as “God Bless Our Home” had been stitched into bleached cloth, framed, and hung on the walls. A table more suitable for the parlor than a bedroom held several small pictures of people she assumed were Steve's parents and grandparents. A round table with a pitcher and basin profusely decorated with pink and blue flowers stood on the other side of a bed. Laurie wasn't surprised that Steve preferred the bunkhouse to such a room. She was spreading the quilts on the bed when Jared knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

Jared was holding two garments. “This is a pair of long johns,” he said, holding up clothes large enough for two of her. “And this is a nightshirt.” It looked far too big as well, but it didn't need to fit her the same way the long johns did. “I never thought to keep any of Steve's mother's clothes.”

She was certain both pieces of clothes belonged to Jared. Just the thought of encasing her body in clothes that had covered Jared's body caused her breath to snag. How was she supposed to sleep?

“You don't have to decide now,” Jared said when she didn't speak. “You can try both and decide which one you want.”

Laurie jogged her brain to make it work. “I'll take the nightshirt.” She hoped her voice didn't sound as unsteady as she felt.

“Are you sure it will be warm enough?”

“I have two quilts on the bed.”

“It's awfully cold.”

“I'm from Kentucky. I don't like the cold, but I'm used to it.”

The nightshirt was made of coarse homespun. It ought to be more than enough to keep her warm. “This is all I need.”

“If you want something else, don't hesitate to call. I'm right across the hall.”

He didn't have to remind her. That's precisely what she was trying to forget. He seemed reluctant to leave the room, like he was waiting for her to say something, but her brain was frozen. The only thoughts in her head were ones she didn't dare give voice to. After another moment, Jared nodded and withdrew.

Once the door closed, Laurie took a deep breath and tried to calm her nerves. She was safe. Nothing would happen if she didn't want it to happen. But that was the problem.

She
wanted
something
to
happen.

She could try to deny it, but that wouldn't do any good. All she could think about was Jared kissing her again, the feel on his hands on her body, the heat that washed over her like a wave, draining her of energy. Noah had rarely touched her. When he had, it had made her feel cold inside. Jared's touch had been so different it wasn't like the same thing. Was that the way a man's touch was supposed to feel to a woman who found him attractive?

There was no use torturing herself with these questions or memories. Besides, it was too cold. She ought to undress quickly and get to bed and go to sleep as soon as possible. Morning would come soon enough, bringing her face to face with half a dozen hungry men who would spend the day in the snow and the cold looking after their cows. It had been the same in Kentucky. The stock came first. Everything else came after that.

She removed her shoes and stockings. The floor was so cold she could hardly stand still long enough to undress. She threw her clothes on a chair upholstered in floral print, pulled the nightshirt over her head, and jumped in the bed. That wasn't any better. The sheets were icy cold and the quilts weighed her down. She curled up in a ball and tucked the covers tightly under her quivering chin. Her whole body shook, but gradually the sheets warmed and she slowly uncurled until she was stretched out. The one advantage was that for a few minutes, thoughts of Jared hadn't been foremost in her mind.

But once she was comfortably warm, they came flooding back. She drifted off to sleep dreaming of being wrapped in his arms.

***

Jared tossed in the bed until the sheets were knotted around his feet. Completely frustrated with himself, he threw the covers off and unwound the sheets. He welcomed the bite of freezing cold on his overheated skin. He hoped it would help get his mind off Laurie, but it didn't. It just made him wonder if she was warm enough. Blizzard-driven wind howled around the corners of the house, forcing its way in at every crack between boards and around windows. The snow had continued to fall until everything was covered in a thick mantle of white.

He worried about his cows. They weren't used to snow. If he hadn't been in Virginia during the war, he would never have seen enough snow to cover the ground. Would Laurie be trapped here one day or for longer? Would she be so upset she'd never come back once she reached her home? Was she sleeping well? Was she worried about her house? Her reputation?

Probably all of those. What could he do to help her? Nothing if he stayed in bed. The thought of going to check on her sent his blood pressure soaring. He had tried to control his desire for her, but two kisses had made that beyond possible. He could hardly think about anything but her.

What did she think of him? He felt fairly sure she liked him. She said she thought he was attractive, but that didn't mean she wanted him to be anything more than a business partner. Still, he couldn't get rid of the feeling that she would welcome a closer relationship. Despite her description of the relationship between her and her husband, Jared was certain Laurie's quiet and almost meek appearance hid a passionate and physical soul. It wasn't in her words or her behavior. It was in her eyes, banked heat waiting there to be released. Maybe she didn't know it, but she had a warm nature. The men had taken to her immediately, and it wasn't only because she was beautiful. She had a friendly, open personality that accepted everyone as they were without a trace of reserve. You felt she truly liked you and wanted you to like her.

His feelings for her were much more than
like
.

Unable to remain still, he sat up. The cold was so biting he was about to slide back under the covers when he thought he heard a sound. His breath stilled as he listened intently, waited for it to come again, but the wind shrieked so loudly he couldn't have heard her if she'd cried out. Unable to go back to sleep without knowing she was safe, he got out of bed, walked to his door, and opened it quietly. He listened again for that sound he was positive he'd heard, but the wind continued to howl around the house like a pack of hungry wolves. He had no option but to go to her room.

The hall floor was so cold he might as well have been walking across ice. The glass knob on her door felt just as icy to his touch. He turned the knob, opened the door slowly, and peered into the room.

***

Laurie sensed Jared was outside before he opened the door. She hadn't heard anything. She just knew. Had she been expecting him, or had she wanted him to be there? Now that he was here, what was she going to do? She sat up in the bed but didn't speak. He looked like a ghost, his white long johns barely visible in the near pitch-dark of her room. When he moved toward her, he seemed to float. She should have lighted the lamp, but she couldn't move.

“I came to see if you were all right. Are you cold?” His voice sounded disembodied, lacking the substance visibility lent to it.

“A little.” Shivering made her voice sound breathless, lacking any substance at all.