To My Ex-Husband (25 page)

Lately, though, she seems to have become so much more accepting of a larger, not to say divine, scheme, something outside herself, beyond her control. She sees that I'm happy. And maybe, for the first time in my life, that's all she's asking.

I wonder if you remember, when he was about seven, Peter's wanting to know why my mother and father didn't live together. I guess he had assumed that it was something my mother had wanted, in part. But when I told him that my father had fallen in love with somebody else, he said, “Wouldn't that make you sad for the rest of your life?”

I have no recollection of what I told him then. But it pleases me to have shown him that indeed it does make you sad, but not for the rest of your life.

AUGUST 9

I meant to ask you yesterday whether you had ever seen the movie
Patti Rocks
. Someone asked me why I had gotten divorced, and
Patti Rocks
came to mind because of a piece of dialogue that puts perfectly what I have come to feel.

Two men, Billy and Eddie, are driving in a car. Billy asks Eddie about the circumstances of his divorce. What Eddie says goes something like this:

“I don't know why we got divorced. She did something because I did something; I did something because she did something because I did something. And if you ask her, she'll tell you one thing, and I'll tell you another. They're just stories, different stories.

“You know, when you start out, it's the same story. You speak the same language and everything's great. You say, you want to go to the movies? And they say, yeah, I want to go to the movies. You say, which movie do you want to go to? And they say, I don't care, as long as it's with
you
.

“And you say, do you want to get married? And they say, I want to marry
you
. So you get married, and you start arguing, and you don't speak the same language anymore.

“You say, it's a door. And they say, it's not a door; it's a window. And you say, you want to go to the movies? And they say, I can't stand that movie. You say, you want to stay married? They say, I don't want to stay married to
you
. You see? Different stories.”

A couple of years ago, Nina asked me if I could put in a sentence or two what had gone wrong in our marriage. I said that you had had a midlife crisis and dealt with it by having an affair with Esther. For whatever it's worth, that's not what I would say now, because I was there, too. I was part of it. If you had been married to someone else, someone more patient and supportive, you might not have had a midlife crisis. You might not have felt alone. If I had been married to someone else, someone less angry and disillusioned, I might have been able to be more supportive and patient.

You did something because I did something; I did something because you did something because I did something. You see? Different stories. I don't know your story; I've just been telling mine.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts for its generous support.

All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

Originally published by William Morrow and Co., Inc.

Copyright © 1994, 2007 by Susan Dundon

Dialogue from the motion picture
Patti Rocks
is reprinted by permission of David Burton Morris.

ISBN: 978-1-5040-3279-7

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