To My Senses The Nicci Beauvoir Series Book 1 (37 page)

Michael groaned loudly in
my ear. “Slip out of those clothes,” he ordered, as he undid the
front of my dress.

Not wanting to strip in
front of him, I rose from the bed and went to the bathroom. Taking
off my clothes, I caught sight of my naked body in the vanity
mirror. My reflection astounded me. I looked so thin and pale. I
wondered when I had become this shadow of my former self. It seemed
like only yesterday I had been the vibrant Jenny in David’s
paintings.

“
Do you really want to do
this?” I mouthed to my reflection.

But there was no reply. I
reached for a towel, wrapped it around my torso, and headed back
into the bedroom.

Michael was already lying under the covers,
waiting for me. An open box of condoms was sitting out on the night
table next to him.

“
I approve,” he
purred.

He reached for me and then
pulled me down on to the bed. His lips kissed my right shoulder and
then my left. The towel slipped away and he tossed it to the
floor.

“
Get under the covers,” he
directed.

I climbed in and nestled
against his naked body, playfully stroking his chest. Before I knew
what was happening, he had rolled me over to my back and pinned
both of my hands over my head. His kisses were covering my face.
His mouth came down on my right nipple and as his tongue teased my
flesh, I shivered with uneasiness. He must have thought I liked it
because his tongue began to tempt my flesh more forcefully, causing
me to gasp with discomfort. His hands were probing me, traveling
the length of my body. One hand dove between my thighs to pry my
legs open. I closed my eyes and pretended he was someone else.
Someone who had touched me and made me feel alive. Someone I had
wanted. I imagined myself lying there like a motionless lily, the
kind so many men make jokes about, but never understand.

“
Oh, Nicci,” Michael
breathed in my ear, as he spread my legs wider for him. “I am going
to make you so happy.”

Then, he rammed inside of
me. There was only a slight burning at first, and then there was
nothing. Just the weight of his gyrating hips against mine, as he
grunted into my neck. His hands tightened around mine and then he
gave one long groan and it was over. He rolled off me, kissed my
cheek, and then he snuggled against me. As soon as I heard the
rhythm of his snoring, I pulled away and turned on to my
side.

I had given myself to
another man. A man I had not wanted. The act had made me feel
worthless. I had forgotten how mutual passion could turn the act of
sex into making love. The tears of memories past flooded my eyes,
and I cried quietly into my pillow until I finally fell
asleep.

Chapter 22

The magic day finally
arrived. May fifteenth—graduation day. I could hardly believe that
the endless hours of studying were over. I woke up that morning
feeling jubilant. The forecast called for a sunny and warm day,
even though May was a notorious month for dumping large amounts of
rain on the city. But when I pulled my cap and gown out of the
closet, the sun was rising into a clear blue sky.

As Uncle Lance had
predicted, even my father was excited. He brought a huge breakfast
of coffee, pancakes, waffles, and toast upstairs to my
room.

“
I thought you could enjoy
your last day of being a student and lounge in bed with your
breakfast.” He kissed my forehead while depositing the tray on my
bed. “I couldn’t decide what to make, so I made
everything.”

“
I can’t believe I’m
graduating.”

“
Well, I’m proud of you.”
Then he frowned. “I assume you turned off your cell phone last
night because ‘It’ called the house phone again this morning. Would
you please tell ‘It’ to stop doing that.”

Dad had taken to calling
Michael “It.” He never referred to him by name anymore.

I decided to humor him and
avoid another argument. “I’ll call ‘It’ later.” I was eager to
change the subject. “Hey, did the paper come? I’m supposed to be in
it today. They publish the names of all the graduating
students.”

Leaving Dad, nibbling on my
toast, I went downstairs and retrieved the paper from the front
porch. Frantically pulling out the different sections of the
newspaper, I finally found the graduation announcements for the LSU
Medical Center. I hurriedly glanced over the section until I found
my name. That meant it was official. I picked up the section and
was just about to run back up the stairs when a page fell out. I
bent over to pick it up and froze.

There was a caption in the
top corner of the page: “Local Artist Receives Acclaim,” with a
picture of David. He was standing next to an older woman with his
arm around her. She had dark hair, weathered skin, and heavy
dangling diamond earrings. Her head was tilted back, laughing.
David was laughing, too. I read the blurb beneath the
picture.

Mrs. Ernie Tyler, wife of the late Dr. Ernie
Tyler, opens new gallery in New York City with up and coming artist
David Alexander, formerly of New Orleans.

I could feel the energy
draining from my body like water from a bathtub. My muscles were
weak and it was difficult to breathe. Reaching out for the
banister, I sank to the floor. I was still clenching the paper,
when my father came down the stairs.

“
Hey, what did they do,
misspell your name?”

When I gazed up, he ran to
my side and took the paper from me. After he read the headline, he
sat down next to me.

“
Well, now you know. You
don’t have to think about him anymore.”

“
I wonder what industrial
secrets he is trying to worm out of that one,” I added, pointing to
the picture.

“
Nicci, you don’t know
that. It says he was showing his art.”

“
I never really mattered,
did I? All this time I thought maybe, just maybe, there was
something there. He never intended to change. This picture proves
it. He is back to his old games. I was nothing to him.” I snatched
the paper away from my father.

My father wrapped his arms
around me. “I can’t believe that. No matter what I see here, I can
never believe he didn’t love you.”

“
I can.” I pushed myself
away from my father’s embrace. “He used me, just like he used you.
All I can do now is make sure it never happens again.” I crumbled
the paper in my hands and threw it on the steps. “I’m going to get
ready. The graduation starts at ten.”

Slowly I started up the
stairs, wiping the tears away with my pajama sleeve. It seemed that
in a matter of a few seconds, every single one of my hopes for the
future had been ruthlessly swept away.

***

The rest of the day was
like drifting in and out of a dream. I remember dressing for
graduation. Michael had bought me a new pine green dress for the
big day. My father told me that I looked like a walking
fern.

Dad drove me to the
university stadium where the graduation ceremony was to take place.
Along the way, he just kept patting my hand and telling me
everything would be all right.

We were standing outside of
the entrance for the graduating students, when I was suddenly
gripped by an inexplicable panic. “I don’t think I can do this,” I
said to my father, clutching the cap and gown in my
hands.

“
You’ll be fine. You go in
there, march up on that stage, and don’t look back.” He paused and
patted my shoulder. “I’ve got to go and find Lance. We’ll be
waiting for you by the car when it’s over. I’m very proud of you,
Nicci. Very proud.” He walked away, leaving me to join the rest of
my graduating class.

From that point on, it was
just a matter of going through the motions. All the excitement I
had felt earlier that morning was gone, robbed by the memory of
David.

All this time he had been
in New York, returning to his old lifestyle, and never thinking of
me. It was time to accept the fact that he was gone for good. Any
hope I had harbored for his return was dashed. Like a ship thrashed
against a rocky shoal during a storm, I was simply another victim
of his ruthless ambition.

***

After the ceremony, I found
my father and Uncle Lance waiting next to the parking
lot.

“
There she is! Let’s see
the paper that says you’re legit.” Uncle Lance took the diploma
from me and looked it over. Then he raised his eyes to me. “You
okay, kid?”

“
Yeah. Why?”

“
Your father told me
about….” Uncle Lance just shrugged without saying anything
else.

I scowled at my father.
“Thanks, Dad.”

“
Hey, we are family. No
secrets,” Uncle Lance asserted. “Save that face for the party. Your
father tells me ‘It’ is putting on quite a little
celebration.”

“
Not you, too!” I
groaned.

Dad took his time on the
drive to Michael’s. We arrived well after the rest of the guests.
Aunt Hattie and Uncle Ned had skipped the three-hour graduation
ceremony, and opted to hit the party instead. Michael’s aunt and
uncle were also there, joining the festivities.

As soon as I entered the
house, Michael was glued to my side. He must have sensed something
was wrong, even though I tried to put on a good face for his sake.
He had gone to a lot of trouble for my graduation party, arranging
for Commander’s Palace to cater the affair. He had also ordered a
Doberge cake—a New Orleans specialty, made up of layers of cake and
pudding—from an expensive Garden District bakery. There was even a
dozen bottles of champagne chilling in the refrigerator.

During the party, my
father, Uncle Lance, Uncle Ned, and Dr. Fagles hung out in the den
by the makeshift bar, debating the importance of a good college
education. The women stood in another corner of the house, talking
about their men. Just when I was beginning to think the event
resembled something more akin to a funeral than a celebration,
Colleen walked in the door.

“
Oh my God, girl. What have
you done?” my aunt exclaimed, turning a deathly shade of white when
she saw her daughter.

Colleen always had an ample
bust, but now her breasts reminded me of two scud missiles about to
launch from under her shirt. She had also lost several inches from
her formerly chubby hips and thighs. Her previously long nose was
now smaller and too dainty for her round face. She had also dyed
her brown hair blonde and capped her front teeth. To top it off,
she was wearing a pair of pink skintight pants and a very tight
white tank top. Sammy, it seemed, had discovered a new
disciple.

“
Colleen, you
look…remarkable,” I commented while Hattie excused herself from the
living room.

“
Thanks, Nic.” Colleen
beamed. “Sammy introduced me to this great plastic surgeon she
knows. He redid everything. Well, almost,” she snorted.

At least, she still sounded
like a Hoover.

Taking Colleen’s present, I
set the bright pink box on top of the pile of other graduation
gifts on a table in the corner of the room. Hattie returned to the
living room, looking more composed, and went straight to Colleen’s
side. I left them and strolled quietly into the kitchen. When I was
sure I was alone, I began laughing.

I was standing at the sink,
with tears streaming down my face, when Michael walked in. He came
up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“
Are you okay?”

“
Oh, I’m better now.” I
wiped the tears away. “I needed that. I don’t think I’ve laughed so
hard in months.” It felt like I had laughed all the frustration and
pain out of me. I leaned against the kitchen sink, completely
spent.

He raised his eyebrows
playfully. “Your cousin?”

“
Did you see
her?”

“
How could I miss her? She
sort of stands out in the crowd.” He grinned. “Come on. It’s time
to open your presents.”

I received the usual array of graduation
paraphernalia: mugs, frames, gold pens, as well as some cash. Val
sent her present in absentia; a book about art. I decided I would
have to give her a good reprimand after she returned from her
museum conference in New York.

All the presents had been
opened on the table except one. I presumed this present was from
Michael since I had opened everybody else’s. He had purposefully
been handing me other presents, avoiding the small silver box on
the table.

“
Now for the last present,
from me,” he dramatically announced.

I unwrapped the package and
opened the lid to the small box. The first thing I heard was a
scream from Michael’s mother. Then Aunt Hattie screamed and the two
women began jumping up and down. Michael hovered over me, waiting
for my reaction.

Inside the box was a round,
three-carat diamond solitaire ring. I kept staring at the ring,
thinking that this was some kind of joke.

“
I knew it would happen!”
Hattie yelled, rousing me from my shock. “I knew you two would get
married!”

I frantically scanned the
room for my father. He was standing next to my Uncle Lance, leaning
against the door of the dining room, watching me. Both men had
faces of stone.