To Protect & Serve (23 page)

Nervous didn’t even begin to describe it. No, all-out terror came much, much closer. Until Jeff stood in front of his mirror on Saturday evening, adjusting and then readjusting the black bow tie at his neck, he had never really put into words why he had begged off the prom, the Harvest Festival, his cousin’s wedding, the Sweetheart Dance…

Now he had the words. Thousands of them jamming through his head. They had to do with a certainty that this night could end in no good way and how foolish he was to think otherwise. They had to do with the fact that he had two left feet that couldn’t communicate with each other enough to even fake dancing. And they had to do with the fact that somehow something was bound to go wrong and smash any chances he had of this relationship going forward.

Okay, so it had been on all-but pause for the last four days anyway, but until that moment he had succeeded in convincing himself that that was because of work—his work, her work. Work. Not the tremulous way they had left things when he had walked away from her door the Saturday before with barely a kiss. She was angry, hurt. He knew that, but still his best instincts said that she didn’t really want to know. She thought she did, but she really didn’t.

With a frustrated sigh over the perpetual tilt of his tie as well as the perpetually negative track of his thought processes, he shook his head and stepped away from the mirror. Good enough was going to have to be good enough. There was no more he could do.

One set of fingers wound over the black satin bodice ensnaring Lisa’s chest. She pulled upward, knowing the motion was
pointless but trying anyway. This dress had been in her closet for three years—ever since the last fiasco of the formal dinner party she had been invited to. She remembered buying it, at the behest of Haley who had thought she looked just gorgeous in it. The only problem was gorgeous had nothing to do with comfort.

Even pressed business suits, cinching in all the wrong places were more comfortable. At least those she couldn’t fall out of. True, the dress sported a sequined jacket that did a passing job of concealing most of the strapless top, but that didn’t make it any more comfortable. All week she had thought about going to get something else—something other than this nightmare. However, in the back of her mind she had thought this moment would never really arrive anyway. That he would talk himself out of
it, that she would come to her senses and call off tonight, that the whole idea would simply blow over.

Instead it blew right to her doorstep. The knock, soft yet undeniably there sounded, and she took a treacherous breath in as she yanked the jacket on. She hadn’t seen him since Saturday, and over the course of the week, tucked neatly behind her stacks of work, she had tried repeatedly to convince herself that he wasn’t as wonderful as she had originally thought he was. No, he couldn’t be as handsome or as sweet or as thoughtful or as…

The nanosecond after she opened the door, however, those thoughts splintered into a hundred-million non-discernible letters for standing there, on the other side of her threshold, gaze down, he looked more incredible than any human being had a right to. Muscles concealed by the black material spread across his shoulders—strong even hiding beneath propriety. As she fought to catch her breath from the sight of him, his gaze bounced sheepishly to the wall and then up to hers as the pink rose in his hand trembled.

“Hi,” he said when his gaze caught hers although the syllable floated just beneath the air.

A smile, gentle and soft, drifted over her as all her doubts receded. “Hi.”

Traveling a half-inch at a time, he held the rose out to her as his gaze bounced to the floor and then back up to hers. “For you.”

“Thanks,” she said, mesmerized by the denim blue of his eyes. The white shirt made the depths of them seem positively endless. “Come… come on in.”

As he followed her forward, he looked at his watch hesitantly. “I’m a little early.”

“I’m not complaining.” She smiled as she set the rose in a glass in the kitchen. “Let me just grab my purse, and we can get going.”

He nodded although she noticed how stiffly he stood, how formally, how awkwardly, and she wondered if that was because of the tuxedo, the night, or something else. With one more check in the hall mirror, she arched her shoulders backward and walked out to meet him. “Shall we?”

That lop-sided, shy smile sent her senses reeling away from her. “We shall.”

Every moment was fraught with possible perils. At the car it was the second he opened the door and her dress didn’t get all the way in. Should he say something, help it in himself? Then she reached down and pulled it in, and relief flooded through him. Making conversation in the car was equally risky. He didn’t want to say anything to remind her of their last conversation if she had indeed forgotten, yet what do you talk about when even work is a dangerous subject?

He settled on cars. His car. This car. It was a relatively safe topic although not very interesting. She didn’t seem to mind, and he had to admit even though he was one push from going over the edge that he liked how perfectly she fit in the passenger’s seat—no matter what they happened to be talking about.

At the hotel his nerves kicked into overdrive, so much so that when the lady at the sign-in table asked for his name, his memory lapsed just long enough for Lisa to have to take his arm and save him.

“Jeff Taylor and Lisa Matheson,” she said confidently, and his breath snagged on the sound of her voice.

“Ah, here it is,” the lady said with a smile. She checked their names off. “Have a nice time.”

“Thanks,” Lisa said with no trouble at all. Gently she laced her arm through his and steered him away from the table. They walked in slow lock step across the gathering. “Are Dustin and Eve coming?”

“He mentioned it, but I’m not sure,” Jeff said, crawling carefully back to the surface of life. He looked at her, but that did nothing more than tie his tongue as tight as the bow at his neck. Somehow he had to calm the rush of anxiety flowing through him before he completely humiliated himself.

“Hey, isn’t that Dante?” Lisa asked, pointing across the room.

Jeff glanced over to where she was pointing. “Yeah.”

“Quick, hide me,” she said, sliding around and ducking behind him.

He arched an eyebrow at her. “You don’t like Dante?”

“He might ask me to dance,” she said, and Jeff wasn’t sure how much of the fear was pretend and how much was real.

“Well, at least he won’t ask me to.”

The smile in her eyes when she looked at him lifted his spirits. “Now that would be scary.”

“So you made it after all,” Hunter said from behind Jeff, and simultaneously he and Lisa turned.

“In one piece and everything,” Jeff said, extending his hand.

“Lisa,” Hunter said, nodding to her. “It’s nice to see you again.”

She nodded at him.

“Well, have fun, you two,” he said and turned back to cross the dance floor.

The second he was gone Jeff breathed an audible sigh of relief.

“What?” Lisa asked as she stepped up to the food table.

“With him around I never quite know what to expect.”

“Why not?”

“Cornflakes in my bed, flour in my locker. He’s a regular laugh-a-minute.”

As she slowly filled her plate, Lisa looked over at him, and her face scrunched. “Cornflakes? Maybe you should’ve applied for hazard pay.”

“With Dante and Hunter, that was a definite possibility.” He put a radish on his plate and three carrots. “I wonder if Hayes is going to be here tonight.”

S
he licked the dressing that had gotten a little carried away off her finger. “If he sees me, he’ll probably run for the exits.”

Jeff stole a glance down the side of the black satin that streamed to the ground. “Not looking like that he won’t.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Mischievously he leaned closer to her. “It means, I don’t think I told you how gorgeous you look tonight.” The statement brought her gaze to his, and sincerity flooded through him. “What a horrible oversight on my part.”

For one glorious moment the world around them ceased to exist, and for him living in that moment forever would have been more than enough.

“Taylor?” the voice asked behind him, and reluctantly Jeff turned to it and found Craig and Bridget, standing, plates in hand, at the edge of the carpet.

“Craig. Hey, man.” Jeff transferred his plate to the other hand so he could extend one to Craig. “It’s been awhile.”

“We were just going to find a place,” Bridget said. “Want to join us?”

“Lead on.” Jeff picked up a glass of tea from the end of the table. The foursome wound their way around to the tables and picked one midway from the back.

“So, I guess the fact that you’re here means you actually found a job,” Craig said when they were seated.

“Downtown,” Jeff said, nodding. “You?”

“Galena Park.”

“How are the kids?” Jeff asked as he set the napkin on his knee, willing it to be kind and stay there.

“Growing,” Bridget said in exasperation. “Cari starts school in August.”

“Ugh. That doesn’t even seem possible.” Jeff picked up his fork. Then he realized Lisa was being left out of the conversation, and he leaned over to her as he cut into the salad. “Cari was the cutest little kid—all blonde curls. She was fascinated with the pump controls. Man, she could sit up there for hours on that thing playing supervisor.”

Bridget laughed. “She hasn’t grown out of that one either.”

“So, have you heard from Ramsey?” Craig asked.

“No, we’ve been down to see Dustin and Eve a couple times, but haven’t heard from Ramsey.”

“Oh? How are they doing?” Bridget asked.

“Good. Good,” Jeff said, nodding. “They might be here tonight.”

“Well, speak of the devil,” Craig said as his attention snapped up behind Jeff who turned to see their conversation topics approach the table.

“Well, well, what have we here?” Dustin asked, sounding far less melancholy than he had the previous weekend. “I didn’t know you guys cleaned up so good.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t know you had such good eyesight either,” Craig taunted back. “Have a seat.”

“I believe we will.”

The evening, so similar and yet so very different from the first time Lisa had shared a table with these people, seemed to stream by on fast forward. Conversation and laughter flowed from every quarter until it occurred to her that this was easily the most fun she had ever had.

At nine the band started playing, and someone turned down the lights so that their little table, which had been at least partially lit, was now all-but black.

“I do believe it’s time to dance,” Dustin said, turning to Eve formally. “Mrs. Knox?”

Eve smiled at him, and Lisa smiled at them. There was nothing but love in the look they exchanged. Slowly Eve stood and accepted Dustin’s hand, and the two of them slipped out to the dance floor as a slow song enveloped them.

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Craig said, standing and helping Bridget out of her chair. They followed the first couple to the floor as Lisa sat watching them.

She laid her chin in her hand as dreaminess overtook her. “Craig and Bridget are nice,” she finally said to fill the void the foursome had left.

“Yeah.” Uneasily Jeff slid his hands under the table to straighten his pants.

A minute. Two, and Lisa’s gaze slid from the dance floor to him. “I’m glad Dustin and Eve made it. I think they needed a night out.”

He turned a confused look on her. “Why would you say that?”

S
he shrugged as trepidation tiptoed across her heart, and her gaze traveled back out. “She was pretty worried about him last week. Not that I blame her, he looked pretty bummed.”

“Yeah, he was.” Absently Jeff’s finger tapped on the table. “I guess it’s as hard on the wives as it is on the guys sometimes.”

Sometimes
? her mind screamed, but she let it slide. “Hey, Kamden liked the proposal for the new ads—you know the ones with the displays falling over on the guy.”

His gaze snapped to hers. “No kidding?”

“Sick, twisted sense of humor,” she said with a playful shrug. “Must be a guy thing.”

“Gee, thanks,” he said, and there was a hint of that smile again.

“Jeff, my man.” The voice came from behind Lisa, and she jumped at the sound of it. Dante. She knew it without even looking up. Head bent, she watched the two shake hands. “And is this…?” He put his hand on her back and wound his body around to get a good look at her. Pulling rational to her, Lisa looked at him and forced herself to smile. “It is. Lisa!” Smoothly Dante swung the chair next to her around and sat down. “Now, you know, I could be wrong about this, but did you or did you not promise me a dance for this evening?”

If there had been any way out of it, Lisa would have found it, but from where she sat, she could see none. Dante stood and offered her his hand. “You don’t mind, do you, Jeff?”