To Protect & Serve (31 page)

“What do you want?”

The question stopped the thread of her words. After a moment it was with permeating acceptance that she looked at him. “Something I could never ask you to do.” She shook her head. “Don’t worry about it. Okay? It’s just the adjustment. I mean I was a free spirit. I could come and go as I pleased, do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, and now… now I feel like I’m tied to something that I really want to be tied to, but it’s taking awhile to get my life rearranged around it.”

Although he should’ve been happy about what she was saying, he couldn’t quite get there. She was giving up her life because of him, and somehow, he thought that wasn’t how it was supposed to work. Suddenly she stood and straightened her jacket.

“I’ve got to finish supper, or it’ll be midnight before we eat.”

He watched the back of her navy skirt walk into the kitchen and around the corner, and never in his life had he wanted to talk to Dustin more. Some rational advice from a friend who really understood would’ve been really nice right about then because one thing was for sure, he himself had nothing resembling rational running around anywhere in his brain.

For two weeks Jeff spent his time either at work or tiptoeing around Lisa. She was better, from what he could tell. On Friday night they went to the movies and had a nice time. He held her hand; she kissed him goodnight. Once or twice she had even laughed, but the melancholy in her eyes was never far away.

By the next Tuesday, however, when she was making supper, she surprised him with a joke Sherie had told her. Slowly the light was coming back into her face and into her spirit. They talked about the weather, and how annoying the city could be. They talked about who was going to pick up groceries and whose night it was to cook. But venturing any deeper than that? Neither one was willing to take that leap. It was easier to push that aside, to pretend that if neither acknowledged its presence, it didn’t really exist.

“Well, well, I guess this means you’re sprung,” Gabe said August 25
th
when he entered the back room of the station at 6:30 in the morning and found Jeff elbow deep in a washtub full of water.

“I told Hunter we’d get this,” Jeff said, indicating the cotton hose he was washing. “They just got back from a residential.”

Gabe nodded. “Let me grab some coffee so I can get my eyes open, and I’ll help.”

“Like I’m going to turn that down,” Jeff said with a laugh, very much liking how it felt to no longer be on the injured reserve list.

“Hey, Mr. Taylor,” Captain Hayes said, coming through the door. “I thought you were banned from the water thing.”

“Good as new,” Jeff said, holding up his hands for inspection and then laughing when he realized they were covered in white suds.

Hayes smiled. “Glad to hear it.” He stepped past the tub and then turned. “Say, have you heard from Lisa lately? I saw her at the funeral, but I had to get back to the station before we could talk.”

“Uh, yeah,” Jeff said slowly. “I see her all the time. Why?”

“Oh, well, I was just wondering how that conference is coming together,” Hayes said. “She hasn’t been by in awhile.”

Jeff’s heart sank on the statement. “Yeah. I’ll probably see her tomorrow if you want me to ask her for you.”

“If you think about it,” Hayes said with a shrug. “Well, a bed and some breakfast is sounding mighty good about now. Tell Lisa I’ll be here in the afternoons all week if she wants to come by.”

“I’ll tell her,” Jeff said as the words choked into his throat. When Hayes walked out, Jeff sank his hands deep into the water wishing the signals going to his hands could crowd out all those in his head.

“So, you couldn’t come up with some excuse to keep you on light, huh?” Gabe asked as he walked up, a coffee cup steaming in his hand.

“Why would I do that?”

“I don’t know because it’s umm…
easier
.”

“Depends on your definition of easier.”

“Well, it’s not washing cotton hoses out when you don’t have to,” Gabe said, indicating the emerging stained-white hose as it was transferred into the other sink.

“It’s called getting on with your life,” Jeff said, heaving one part of the hose out of the water.

“Oh, really? And what else do you have planned for this ‘getting on with your life’ idea?” Gabe asked teasingly.

“Hazmat classes for one. I start next week. Then I’m going to do the aircraft thing in October. Get that out of the way, too.”

“Ah. Gunning for my job, are you?”

“Just trying to do what makes sense,” Jeff said defensively.

Gabe leaned on the water tank next to the tub as he narrowed his gaze at Jeff. “And where does Lisa fit into all of this?”

Jeff’s work slowed. “Right where she is now—by my side.”

“So, you’re going to be doing hazmat, aircraft, and planning a wedding all at the same time? That's industrious.”

“Hey, now, who said anything about a wedding?”

“You did. You said she was going to be right by your side, and don’t go flaking out on me here. You’re in love with her, right?” For a long moment there was no answer. “Right?”

“Right,” Jeff finally said softly.

“And she loves you. Right?”

“Right,” Jeff said more solidly.

“Then what in the world are you waiting for—an engraved sign to appear in the sky?”

In all the time he had spent with her, this thought had never occurred to Jeff. Why he didn’t know because it seemed so obvious. She was beautiful, gorgeous, fun,
hardworking, and dedicated. And she loved him. She had told him so point blank. What more could a man want? No more, he decided as he transferred the hose to the rinsing tank. No more.

Everything had to be perfect, Jeff thought as he set the two wine glasses on the table which was set with the tablecloth he had spent half an hour choosing. There were three more in the back closet on standby if this one hadn’t worked. Candles just so. Plates—the non-chipped ones, were on the table. Silverware, all but one matching,
lay next to the plates. It was as perfect as it was going to get. Carefully he turned down the lights and traced into the living room where he turned on the CD that always made him think of her.

Yes, tonight was going to be perfect… even if he had to knock himself out to get it that way.

Work, as usual, was one thick mess of trouble. Lisa exhaled as she pulled into his apartment parking lot and saw the GTO. He was here. She sighed at the thought. She hadn’t had time to call him to find out how his shift had gone the day before although that was all she had thought about for 36 hours. Every beep on her intercom made her jump, every ring of the phone made her heart pound. At lunch she had spilled her coffee all over the table when a siren wailed through a close intersection. Her nerves were on the very edge of disintegration, and it was taking everything she had to hold them together.

When she opened his apartment with the key she had finally just taken, it was a moment before she realized that anyone was even there. That’s when she saw it—
the table set, the candles, the wine, and her breath jumped to her throat. “Jeff? Hey, are you…”

However, ‘here’ never made it to her voice because suddenly he slipped around the corner and leaned there looking at her. White shirt, blue cover shirt, black jeans, that cross, and half of the lopsided smile, and she knew whatever was up, it was big.

“Hello,” he said softly. “You made it.”

“I… did.” She nodded, frozen to the spot at the door. “You didn’t tell me you were cooking tonight.”

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“
Well, that worked.” Her gaze chanced to the table as he pushed away from the wall.

“Here, you look like you could use a little TLC.” He took her arm and led her into the living room which had even less light. At the sofa, he sat her down. “How about a neck massage?” Carefully he sat down beside her and turned her shoulders.

“Oh, I don’t think—hello.” His fingers worked into the grooves of tension in her shoulders, and their pressure sent waves of exhaustion undulating through her body. Slowly she relaxed into the motion. “That feels good.”

“It’s supposed to,” he said right in her ear. She felt his fingers as they left her shoulder to trace across the side of her hair. Helpfully she reached up and snapped the clip so that her hair tumbled onto her shoulders. “Better?” he asked.

“Much.” Her eyes closed of their own accord as her body and spirit moved in time with his fingers and the beat on the stereo. “Did you go to masseuse school while I wasn’t looking?”

“Nope
, first massage I’ve ever given.”

“Huh, you ought to open up shop, you could make good money.” One finger hit an extra-sore spot, and she jumped forward. “Ow.”

“Sorry,” he said as his fingers continued but lighter now. “Nope, these are just for you.”

“Hmmm, then I’m not telling anybody.” If she could’ve gone to sleep right there, she would have.

“Would you like some wine?” he asked after time no longer held any meaning.

“Do you have to stop to get it?”

“I think so. I’m good, but I’m not that good.”

“Then, no, I don’t want any wine.”

He laughed as he pulled her back to him on the couch. “You’re too easy.”

“You’re too good.” Muscles she had forgotten she had relaxed all the way down the length of her body. She took a deep, long breath. This was something she could definitely get used to. Drifting. That’s what it felt like. Forgetting everything else in this one moment. She never wanted to join reality again.

“I made your favorite,” he whispered in her ear.

“What’s that?”

“Lemon pepper steak, carrots, potatoes, and unburned cherry pie.”

“Sounds delicious.”

“But it’s going to be hard to eat from in here,” he said.

Her body relaxed into his. “It’s called osmosis.”

“How about we call it eating?”

As much as her body would let her, she laughed.

“Come on,” he said, helping her up. “It’s going to get cold.”

“Wouldn’t want that.”

By the time he served the pie, she had forgotten her surprise at the sight of the table. It was like remembering she was alive as they debated the merits of cherry versus apple pie. Cherry getting points for pulling off tart and sweet. Apple garnering its own share for the addition of cinnamon.

“You finished?” Jeff asked when Lisa laid her fork down by her half-eaten pie and sat back.

“Yeah, I think that would be a good word for it.” She sat for one more second, sighed, and then pulled herself up to pick up the dishes.

“No,” Jeff said, stopping her with a hand. “I’ll get these… later.” His hand turned and caught hers. “Let’s go relax for awhile.”

She arched an eyebrow skeptically. “If I relax any more, I’ll go to sleep.”

“Oh, don’t do that,” he said, taking her in his arms in the center of the living room. “You might miss something.” Slowly he swayed back and forth as her arms over his shoulders pulled him closer.

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”             

A second of a pause and he slipped to the floor on one knee. Still holding her hand, he looked up at her. The room spun around her as her head said this was not really happening.

“Lisa, I can’t imagine living the rest of my life without you. Will you marry me?”

“M… marry?” Lisa asked, blinking through the shock. “I… I’m… What?”

With a snap he opened the little box in his hand as her mind said how many hours she had spent worrying about the very hands that now held that box. Inside the box was a thin gold band supporting a small sparkling stone. “I know it’s not much, but…”

“Jeff,” she said as her heart pushed tears in front of the words. “Oh, I love it. It’s perfect.” And indeed it was. Gentle and subtle. The perfect reflection of him in her heart.

“So?” he asked, still on his knee gazing up at her.

She closed her eyes to imprint the moment on her memory. To say no was to deny who she really was, and who she really was at that moment was a woman who loved the man kneeling in front of her with all of her heart. “Yes.”

With a smile he stood and gathered her into his arms. Her eyes squeezed closed as he stood simply holding her as though he might do just that forever.

“I didn’t think it was possible to be this happy,” he finally said softly.

“You didn’t? What about me?” Her heart burst inside her. “I hated guys. Remember? All guys, and now I’m getting married?” She squealed on the words. “Oh, my gosh, Haley is never going to believe this! Haley, heck. I don’t believe this! Oh, man, Sherie’s going to go nuts!”

He laughed. “I thought you didn’t want to be married.”

“Did I say that?” she asked innocently.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, I must’ve been delirious, or maybe I’m delirious now. I don’t know… I’m just so excited!”

“Is it me or the ring?” he asked jokingly.

“It’s you of course, you dope,” she said, and she laid her lips on his, pushing into him so that he took a step backward.

When she broke free, he looked at her with a smile. “Oh, good. Then I’ll just take this back…” He started to put the case in his pocket.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she said, pulling his hand free of his pocket. “Your ring goes on my finger, buster.”

He extracted the ring from the case and tossed the case onto the couch. “And only on your finger.” Gently he took her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. However, it took more than a simple push to get it on, and once on, she turned it and winced.

Jeff exhaled hard. “Oh, crud. I got the wrong size. I knew I was going to do that. I guessed, and…”

“No,” she said softly. “It’s perfect.” Her hand went up into the side of his hair, and she gazed into his eyes. “Just like you.”

“Okay, now I know it’s wrong,” he said with a laugh. He took her hand from the side of his head and pulled it down in front of them. “It’s not a big deal. I’ll just take it in and get it resized. I kind of figured I’d have to.”