Toad Away (15 page)

Luckily there were rivets on the side of the plane, and rust, which gave Limpy and the others something to grip with their toes and fingers. They clambered into the plane.

Limpy saw that the cages were held shut with twisted pieces of wire.

He grabbed a spanner from an open toolbox and
tried to pry the twist of wire off Raoul's cage door. It was no good, he wasn't strong enough.

“Let me,” said Goliath. “I've straightened out lizard's intestines that are tougher than this.”

Goliath jammed the spanner behind the wire and pulled until his eyeballs and warts bulged.

Suddenly the wire gave and the cage door swung open.

Raoul stepped out and embraced Goliath.

“Our ancient legends tell of a hero,” said Raoul. “A hero who will one day come from afar to save us. Now I know he has arrived.”

Goliath blushed. “Don't forget Limpy and Charm,” he said. “They're my assistants.”

Limpy was about to suggest that they get to work on all the other cages, but before he could the whole plane started vibrating.

“It's the engines!” yelled Charm from the doorway. Limpy could hear the roar getting louder.

“Quick!” he yelled. “Let's get these other cages open!”

They grabbed more tools and worked on three more cages, Charm and Limpy using a spanner together. But before they could get them open, the plane lurched forward and they were flung back in a heap.

“The plane's taking off,” said Charm after she'd moved Goliath's knee out of her mouth. “It's too late.”

“The pilot's left the cargo door open,” said Goliath.“Why's he taking off with the door open?”

“Probably so we don't suffocate,” said Raoul.“Wherever he's taking us, they want us alive.”

All the cane toads fell silent. Limpy could see they were each imagining what kind of awful place that might be.

Then Limpy had an idea.

“Goliath,” he said. “Spit out your bubblegum.”

Goliath stopped chewing and glared at Limpy. “All our lives are in danger,” he said, “and you're worried about a bit of bubblegum?”

“Spit it out and give it to me,” said Limpy. “I've thought of a way to get our friends back on the ground.”

Raoul stood in the doorway of the plane, wind whipping across his noble face. He embraced Goliath, then Charm, then Limpy.

“You are all heroes,” he said. “May you fulfill your quest and live long and happy lives.”

“Thanks,” said Goliath. “Hope the scabs heal.”

Raoul gave the bubblegum in his mouth a final chew, then jumped.

Limpy peered anxiously down at Raoul's plummeting figure. He hoped Goliath's bubble-blowing lesson had
been clear enough. And that Raoul had enough gum in his mouth.

Suddenly a large bubble erupted over Raoul's head and his plummet slowed to a float.

“It's working,” said Charm, gazing down, amazed and delighted.

The other cane toads, all crowding around the doorway and all chewing enthusiastically, broke into applause.

“I told you dividing my mouthful of bubblegum among this lot would give them enough each,” said Goliath. “I've got a big mouth.”

Limpy didn't argue with that.

Now that Raoul had showed that Limpy's idea would work, all the other cane toads clamored to be next.

“Form a line, troops,” ordered Goliath.“No pushing, and that's an order.”

One by one the other cane toads jumped and floated down toward the forest, each under a big rubbery bubble.

“I hope they survive the biting ants at the top of the trees,” said Limpy.

“No worries,” said Goliath. “We did, and we're not even locals.”

The last to jump was Flatface.

Just before he did, he turned to Limpy.

“Bulldozers don't understand what peace is,” said Flatface. “To make them listen, you'll need something stronger than friendship.”

Limpy didn't know what to say.

Flatface turned to Charm. “Sorry I called you all those names,” he said. “Actually, you're quite good-looking.”

Limpy could see Charm didn't know what to say either.

Goliath stepped forward. “Limpy's mum reckons I'm quite good-looking too,” he said. “When I don't dribble.”

Flatface jumped.

“Our turn,” said Goliath, looking around for the last bits of bubblegum.

Limpy and Charm glanced at each other. They'd been dreading breaking this next bit of news to Goliath.

“Sorry, Goliath,” said Limpy. “I'm afraid there's none left for us.”

He put his arm round Goliath's big middle and waited for his cousin's anger to turn to tears, which it usually did when all their lives were in danger.

While Limpy was waiting, Charm tapped him urgently on the shoulder.

“Limpy,” she whispered. “Does this plane have automatic pilot?”

Limpy remembered that a pelican had explained to him once about automatic pilot. It was what pelicans used when they were filleting a salmon in midflight.

“I don't know,” said Limpy. “Why?”

“Well,” said Charm, her voice wobbling. “I was just wondering which was going to happen first. Us being captured or us crashing.”

Limpy looked up.

The pilot, surrounded by empty cages, was glaring down at them, furious.

“I think being captured,” said Limpy as the pilot picked all three of them up, flung them into the toolbox, and slammed the lid.

T
he plane didn't crash.

“Must have automatic pilot,” whispered Limpy in the dark.

“This toolbox smells,” said Goliath. “And these washers taste stale.”

“Limpy,” whispered Charm. “Where do you think this plane's going?”

“Don't know,” said Limpy.

He hoped it was Los Angeles, because at least they could get a plane back to Australia from there. Except the pilot hadn't looked like he wanted to help them get home.

Limpy reached out in the darkness and gave Charm a hug.

He didn't know what else to say. He also didn't know what to say if Charm asked him about the ancient secret.

How can I tell her? thought Limpy miserably. We've traveled all this way. We've been through so much. How can I tell Charm that I forgot to ask the ancient human the secret of living in peace with other humans?

OK, he'd had an excuse. He'd been overwhelmed at discovering Charm was alive. He'd been desperate to find her. But he'd still forgotten to ask.

How could I? thought Limpy. How could I forget the whole point of our quest?

He didn't have an answer, so he sat in silence. For a long time he heard nothing but the distant hum of the engines.

Then a long groan echoed around the toolbox.“Are you two OK?” asked Limpy, anxious that Charm or Goliath might be ill.

“It's Goliath,” said Charm. “I think those washers he ate are disagreeing with him.”

Goliath gave another groan. “It's not the washers,” he said. “I've just remembered something. I left an order with my troops at home. If we're not back by the full moon, I told them to assume we've been killed by humans and to go on a revenge mission.”

Limpy's insides dropped, even though there was no air turbulence outside the plane.

“What sort of revenge mission?” he asked.

“I ordered them to scratch all the cars in the human suburb,” said Goliath.

Limpy's insides crashed and burned.

“That's terrible,” he croaked.

“I know,” said Goliath. “I completely forgot to tell them to let all the air out of the tires as well.”

For the rest of the flight, Limpy could only think about one thing. He was still thinking about it as the plane landed and he felt the toolbox being loaded into a vehicle and driven somewhere.

One awful thing.

The huge merciless war Limpy knew humans would wage against anyone who scratched their cars.

W
hen the toolbox lid was finally flung open, Limpy saw to his horror that it had already started.

The global war between humans and cane toads.

He and Charm and Goliath staggered out of the toolbox into a nightmare.

Fireballs were exploding in a dark sky. The night air was full of smoke and stench. Humans in ragged military uniforms were clambering over piles of rubble, aiming huge guns. And all around, slumped and bleeding and pitiful, were dead cane toads.

Limpy could hardly take it all in. He was dimly aware of Charm whimpering and clutching on to him.

They both ducked as a burly helmeted human, chest crisscrossed with belts of bullets, dragged himself out of a crater, heaved a machine gun onto his
shoulder, and blasted several cane toads into tiny pieces.

“What's going on?” yelled Goliath into Limpy's ear.

He looked as stunned as Limpy felt.

“War,” said Limpy, feeling faint. “World war.”

Goliath glared up at the human with the smoking gun. “You mongrel!” he yelled, and flung himself at the towering figure.

“No!” screamed Limpy, but it was too late.

Goliath landed on the human's boot. The human shook him off, then pointed the machine gun at Goliath's head.

Limpy and Charm held on to each other in helpless terror and watched as Goliath stared up at the gun.

“Goliath!” yelled Charm. “Hop for it!”

Limpy saw that Goliath couldn't move because the human soldier was treading on his leg.

Charm was already squirting at the human and Limpy did too. But the human's helmet had a Perspex visor and their poison pus just sprayed harmlessly against it.

Limpy saw the human taking aim.

Goliath started blubbering. “Please,” he begged the human. “Don't shoot. I'll disband my army. I'll give up wavy mud. Please.”

Limpy tried to throw himself forward, to drag Goliath away, but Charm held him back.

“Don't,” she sobbed. “It's suicide.”

Limpy saw the human's finger starting to squeeze the trigger.

“No!” screamed an anguished voice, and Limpy wasn't sure if it was Goliath or him or both.

Then suddenly night turned into day and the explosions stopped and somebody wheeled a tea trolley onto the battlefield.

Limpy blinked, stunned.

He looked up. High above, massive lights hung from the ceiling of what Limpy realized was a vast room, even bigger than the supermarket and the airport.

The human with the gun had flipped up his visor and was picking up a very wobbly Goliath.

“Hi there,” said the human to Goliath. “I see the live ones have arrived.”

Limpy didn't understand the words, but what he hoped the human was saying was “We surrender, we surrender, all we want is to live in peace and friendship with cane toads forever.”

It was possible. The human was stroking the stunned and bug-eyed Goliath in a friendly way.

“What's going on?” croaked Charm.

“Not sure,” said Limpy. He decided to ask a local. He saw one close by, a cane toad sitting on a pile of rubble.

“Excuse me,” said Limpy. “What's going on?”

The cane toad didn't answer. Limpy asked again, and when the cane toad didn't answer again, he decided the cane toad must either be dead or shell-shocked. He'd seen shell-shocked crabs like this after humans had thrown shells at them.

Then he looked closer and saw that the cane toad was made of cloth, with plastic eyes.

I don't get this, thought Limpy. Perhaps it's me who's either dead or shell-shocked.

“You wanna know what's going on?” said a voice behind him. “Lunch, that's what's going on.”

Limpy turned round.

A cane toad munching a grasshopper in a bun was pointing to a big food trolley next to the tea trolley.

“Lunch?” said Limpy.

“Shooting has stopped for lunch,” said the toad, who Limpy could now see wasn't a real cane toad, just a smooth-skinned frog with makeup and fake warts.

“Shooting has stopped for lunch?” said Limpy. He had no idea that wars stopped for lunch.

“Jeez,” said the frog, rolling his eyes. “Wake up and smell the coffee. Unless you want to be an extra for the rest of your life. We get a meal break every two hours. It's in the contract.”

“Contract?” said Limpy.

“That wad of paper your agent looks after for you,” said the frog, shaking his head. “The one
you did a mud-print on to be in this movie. The one with
Armageddon 4—Rise of the Toads
on the front.”