Today. Tomorrow. Always (3 page)

“Uh… I’m pretty sure Reese is the only one in her circle who’s actually employable,” he said, chuckling. He had a point; her circle of friends was pretty rough around the edges. AJ had been extremely skeptical about bringing her onboard the year before, but her father, a business colleague of his, practically begged him to hire her—his
‘out of control, mess of a daughter’
he’d called her. And she
was
a mess at first, but AJ just had a way with people. He wasn’t the boss anyone loved to hate. His team loved and respected him to no end. Even Reese quickly started putting her best foot forward soon after being hired in.

I thought some more as a troubled look came over his face. “Well, can’t a temp just be trained to do what he needs them to do?”

Another shake of his head. “No, we don’t have that kind of time. Kai’s job is pretty demanding, which means he needs someone who’s already knowledgeable, sharp, and professional. He’d send a temp home crying her first day,” he said with a laugh. “Whoever it is has to have thick skin—someone who doesn’t need a whole lot of direction or coddling, and someone who can deal with his hectic schedule.”

AJ had mentioned before that Kai’s hours were sporadic, but he never said why. “Does he have a second job or something?” I asked. “Why does he have to change up his hours so much?”

He shrugged. “I don’t get all into his business like that. One thing’s for sure, though; I don’t know what the company would do without him now that we’ve seen how much smoother things run with him there. That’s why I have to take care of this quickly. Preferably, before he’s back in the country.”

I stared at the ground some more, then it hit me. As if the idea just fell into my thoughts out of nowhere, I blurted, “What about Angel? She’s been looking to make a change. She’d be perfect!”

He didn’t answer right away.

“Think about it; she’s educated, very professional, his schedule wouldn’t bother her, and… she’d just be perfect,” I added as my enthusiastic tone died down. I grinned at him. “Don’t you agree?”

It looked like he was going over it in his head. “You might be right.”

I perked up a bit, thinking I solved his
and
Angel’s problem all at once. She’d been thinking about leaving her current employer for a while, so I knew this would interest her even though it was only temporary.

“Her schedule doesn’t have to match his to a tee. Right now, Carla comes in three mornings a week, then one or two evenings if Kai’s there late. Otherwise, he faxes a lot of what he needs done to her home office.”

“Angel’s already got a setup like that for when she does work on the side for Uncle Todd. Fax machine and everything,” I countered, really wanting this to work out.

He rubbed his chin. “Speaking of, I thought he wanted her to come work with him full-time? What about that? She may not even
want
this job.”

AJ was right, but he was forgetting that, while yes, Angel did have a degree in accounting and her father had his own successful firm, she wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about working up under her dad like that. The position at Arata would actually be the perfect opportunity for her to decide if that should be her next long-term move.

I watched AJ intently. “If you think she’d be interested, the job is hers.”

“She’s gonna be so excited!” I squealed. After kissing AJ’s cheek, I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to give Angel a call later; sharing the good news, assuming she’d want the position, that is.

AJ stood from the bed now that his issue had become a non-issue and headed toward the dresser to grab something to wear. I was staring…
hard.
Couldn’t help myself. My husband was a beautiful specimen of a man and I gawked shamelessly at him whenever given the chance. Who wouldn’t? I must’ve been staring a little too hard, though, because he ended up catching me. Our encounter from the night before had left me satisfied, yet still wanting more. That’s how it always was. Without me having to explain my feelings, without having to put into words what I wanted, the distance between he and I disappeared as he crossed the room and came back to the bed.

My back sank deep into the mattress when he came to lie on top of me, feverishly kissing my lips. I felt him between my legs, erect, ready. He pulled away just long enough to slip my shirt over my head, came back to consume me with another kiss, and then the next sound we heard was a tiny cry that filtered through the monitor on my nightstand.

We both sighed heavily at the exact same time.

“Like clockwork,” AJ said with a groan, the corner of his mouth lifting into a smile as he peeled his body off of mine.

“Every time,” I added, sitting up to clothe myself again. Through his boxers, I could still see that he was
‘standing at attention’,
so to speak, as he slipped his t-shirt on. Eventually covering his lower half with a pair of basketball shorts, I almost protested out loud. A heavy sigh left my lungs as he turned to shoot me that irresistible, boyish grin of his as he went to Anthony’s rescue.

I fell back on the bed, listening through the monitor as he quieted our son almost instantly, by simply walking into the room. AJ had such a way with our boy. I lay there, smiling to myself as father and son carried on a one-sided conversation, consisting of AJ asking Anthony what all the fuss was about as the little one whimpered and squealed softly in response. I leaned to the side to steal a glance at them across the hall and my smile only broadened. AJ had his arms full, letting the last of Anthony’s tears absorb into his shirt as he soothed him. He truly was in his element with this whole ‘fatherhood’ thing. He loved being a dad almost more than anything.

My conversation with Terrell from earlier came back to me. Maybe he was right. Maybe AJ was more ready to grow our family than I thought.

My two guys ventured back across the hallway and into my bedroom. AJ closed the door behind him again and plopped down on the mattress with Anthony still in his arms. I rubbed my baby’s back, but my attention was mostly on AJ.

“Terrell and I had an interesting talk today.”

He laughed. “Every conversation with Terrell is an interesting one.”

I smiled. “True. But he mentioned that you two had talked about us having more kids.”

He let his back rest against the headboard and Anthony started dozing again in his arms. “Mmm… I mean, it’s something that’s come up once or twice before, but not anything too deep. Why?”

I shrugged and rested my head in his lap with my back to him since having his arms around me wasn’t an option. His free hand came down on my neck gently and he pulled my hair away from my skin. “No reason, really. He just got me to thinking,” I answered.

“About?” AJ asked.

“Us. Our family.”

“Our family’s perfect,” he countered, and I could hear him smiling when he did.

That made me smile, too. “I agree,” I said, adding the next part just a bit hesitantly. “When you mentioned it to him, the part about having more kids, did you mean right now?”

He gave that some thought and then I had to glance at him over my shoulder when he laughed. “Well… I mean, we never really have been much for planning, Sam. We tend to do things how we see fit, not the way everyone else thinks we should.”

I turned to face him, wanting to see his expression while we talked. Anthony yawned and placed his tiny hand on my name tattooed on the side of AJ’s neck before letting his eyes close again.

There was a long bout of silence. I stared at AJ while waiting, but the more that time ticked past, the more curious I became about what he’d say next. “I encouraged you to start your own business, right?”

I nodded, feeling the satiny material of his shorts against my face. “Right.”

“I did that because I know this is something you’ve wanted for a long time, something you’ve been waiting for.”

I nodded again.

The hand not cradling our son extended toward me and warmed my chin when he cupped it, tilting my head just a bit so we were staring into one another’s eyes. “Above everything else, I want you to be happy. If that means putting our family on hold for a bit, I’m okay with that. Once you get settled and have your feet planted firmly, that’s when we can start discussing what
I
want.”

I thought about that, listened to every syllable, wondering if I was misunderstanding him. It sounded to me like he’d just admitted to being more than ready to work on bringing another little Hahn into the world, but wanted me to be able to focus on my career… because he thought that was the most important thing to me? While I appreciated his concern, I was also a bit insulted at the same time.
Had I really given him the impression that my career was the end-all be-all for me?
If so, he was sadly mistaken.

“Okay, so I’m gonna say something, and I don’t want you to be offended. Let me know when you’re ready,” I said, still wondering where he’d gotten that idea.

He chuckled. “Speak your mind.”

I took a deep breath and weighed my words. “This isn’t all about me, AJ. This is
our
life, mine and yours—the life we’re building
together
,” I said, adding emphasis to the last word. “We should’ve been able to talk about this.”

His expression softened and I took his hand from my face to lace his fingers with mine.

After a long pause, he nodded, agreeing with my logic. While I loved that he seemed to be hardwired to put me first, I wanted him to realize that his needs were number one on my list, too. We were a team—a good one, might I add. Always had been. Always would be.

“What about a year from now,” he said, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Hmm?”

“What if we compromise and start trying in a year? Anthony will be two by then, more independent,” he added. “While right now would be awesome, I think a year’s probably better for you. That way you don’t have to put your career on hold.”

I stared at him. It warmed my heart that the idea of expanding our family was so important to him, loved that he was so content that having another baby together was this high on his list. His request resonated with me and I gave my response, bringing a smile to his face when I agreed. “Then a year it is.”

Chapter Three

AJ

Excited, Anthony squealed in Maisha’s lap, just like he
always
did when Sam and I blazed up the fire pit. Something about watching the flames just got him going. The weather was so nice we decided to sit poolside after coming in from having dinner in the city. We tried a Mediterranean restaurant not too far from the office and then walked around a bit while Sam and Maisha did some light shopping.

“Sam,” Terrell called out, smirking a bit.

With an eye roll, she cast a skeptical glance his way. The expression was laced with a faint smile when she responded with a dry, “What?”

He was grinning too hard for whatever he had to say to be innocent. “I think you should go in there and warm up your leftovers from the restaurant for me. I’m still hungry.”

Maisha shook her head at her husband. “Mmm mmm mmm.”

“Boy—” Sam couldn’t even find words. A laugh burst from her lips as she stared at Terrell like he was crazy. “No!” she finally managed to yell.

“Stingy,” he grumbled under his breath, which made Sam laugh even harder.

“It’s always food with you—figured that out the day you followed me and Dee to the store and then made us wait while you bought five bags of chips at once,” Sam complained, trying not to sound sentimental,
failing
at not sounding sentimental, when she thought back to when she and Terrell met our freshman year of college. As bad as he used to get under her skin, she couldn’t help but to love him.

“Mm mm… it’s seven bags,” Maisha clarified. “I’ve known this man most of my life and it’s been seven bags since he’s had his own money to support his food habit. I don’t know if he thinks it’s lucky to get that many at once, but it’s always seven. Always,” she added, giving Terrell the side-eye.

He waved her off. “Whatever. You don’t know me,” he teased, nudging her with his foot until she smiled at him.

Sam sat back in her lounger and got lost in a thought. “You used to get on my nerves sooo bad,” she said with a smile, reminiscing about how she and Terrell came to be friends. I thought back on it, too, remembering when I didn’t exactly get all warm and fuzzy when it came to him either. Considering how close we were now, it seemed so stupid that I ever went through a period of not trusting him, thinking he had ulterior motives for befriending Sam.

“Nah… that was all you. That stank attitude of yours made you such a joy to be around,” he said with an air of sarcasm.

Sam stuck her tongue out at him and laughed a bit.

“Sorry, but I’m gonna have to side with Sam on this one,” Maisha chimed in. “You’re a bit much for anyone to take in at first.”

Terrell made a face as if the comment offended him.

Maisha smiled. “I remember when I first met you, too. I walked home from school with Danielle, thinking we were gonna get our homework done then play outside or something,” she started with a smile mixed equal parts sadness and happiness as she reminisced about the friend she’d lost, Terrell’s little sister. “But no. We ended up spending the entire afternoon dodging stuffed animals being thrown at our heads, trying to stop him from pulling our hair, and guarding our papers from being stepped on and tossed around,” she said with a laugh. “He just couldn’t handle all the attention not being on him,” she reasoned.

Sam raised her eyebrows at Terrell. “Know what that sounds like to me?” she asked. “Young love. You were probably crushing on Maisha way back then, weren’t you? Doing whatever you could to get her to look at you.”

Terrell waved Sam off, but didn’t deny her accusation, which made the ladies laugh at him.

“Is that true?” Maisha teased, nudging Terrell when he wouldn’t answer.

“I’m not ashamed,” he finally answered. “I probably
always
had a thing for you.”

The ladies both laughed again and Maisha leaned in to kiss Terrell on his cheek. “Aww… I thought you were cute, too,” she admitted.

Sam took Anthony into her arms when he reached for her and then settled back into her seat. While Terrell and Maisha went back and forth about their past, their conversation faded into the background as white noise. All I saw, all I was aware of was my wife. She didn’t even know I watched her as she got lost in our friends’ playful
‘argument’
, which had now shifted to a debate about who said
‘I love you’
first.

“Man… AJ… do I look like the type of dude who’d tell a girl how I felt before she told me?” Terrell asked, bringing me back into the conversation.

I glanced at his face and had to laugh. “Yeah, Terrell… you kinda do,” I admitted, causing him to protest loudly when Sam burst out laughing. “Maybe to someone who didn’t know you, they’d see your size and think you weren’t that guy, but for those of us who know what a softy you really are… yeah, man; I’d have to say I believe wholeheartedly that you said it first.”

“Aww whatever… What about y’all? Was it you or Sam?” he asked, probably just to get the heat off himself.

Sam smirked and looked down. “That’d be me,” she confessed. “But it wasn’t because I was ready to tell him. I was kind of forced into it.” The very next second the smile began to slip from her face, but she held on to a bit of it to mask whatever thought or feeling had now entered her mind.

“Forced into it? What’s that mean?” Terrell probed.

Sam cleared her throat and hugged our son a bit tighter. “We um… just got caught up and it kinda slipped out,” was all she said. I know Terrell wanted more info, but he took in the same look on her face that I did; however, I too could recall how that all came about. We’d gotten carried away, kissing and making out, when we were supposed to be working on a project for school. The problem was, she wasn’t mine at the time. Technically, she belonged to someone else, but I’d always had a hard time accepting that, accepting that she could
ever
belong to anyone but me. Always. Maybe that was part of the problem. Anyway, our moment was promptly interrupted by her then boyfriend, Antonio. That incident, that night, was the beginning of it all.

It wasn’t lost on me that what should’ve been a fond memory between Sam and I was sullied by the presence of her ex, which inevitably led to thoughts of who and what he eventually became—
her attacker.

Sam put on a brave face once again and brought the brightness back to her smile before changing the subject. “And to make matters worse, he didn’t even say it back for
days
!” she added.

Maisha turned to look at me in shock. “You left my girl hanging, AJ?”

I smiled a bit, deciding not to let the memory of Antonio ruin the rest of our evening. That,
he,
was water under the bridge. Besides, last we’d heard, he’d gotten himself locked up again for yet another violent crime. I didn’t have the details, nor did I want them. All that mattered was that he was right where he belonged.

“It wasn’t like that,” I explained. “There was more to it, and if I’d said it right then, she wouldn’t have believed I meant it. So, yeah… I waited a little bit to tell her how I felt.”

Sam glared at me playfully.

“Mmm hmm,” Maisha added with a smile.

Terrell looked at the time after stretching. “I think I’m gonna turn in. We still hitting the gym to play ball?” he asked.

I nodded. That was something I always looked forward to when we got together. “Yup, I’ll be up and ready to go by nine. Promise I’ll go easy on you.”

He chuckled a bit. “Don’t worry about
me.
Worry about getting dunked on.”

I laughed so loud my son jumped at the sound of it. “Terrell… I’ve been playing ball with you for years and never once have you managed to dunk on me.”

He grinned and went on the defense. “That’s just because I don’t wanna make you feel bad. Watch. I’mma show you tomorrow,” he promised.

And I was pretty sure he’d try, which meant I was also sure I’d get a good laugh. Sam, Maisha, and I stood too, preparing to go inside.

I watched them all head up to bed, staying behind to make sure the fire was out. On my way up, I glanced at the three boxes my father had handed off to me earlier, wondering what I might find inside. Most of this stuff was from my years living alone after leaving Charleston, so they were from the period of my life that didn’t include Sam. Anything could’ve been inside them.

*****

A soft whimper was all it took to wake me. Sam continued to breathe softly, her forehead pressed to my cheek while she slept. With her so close, I wasn’t sure I could slip out of bed without waking her, but one thing was for sure; if I didn’t move now, Anthony would soon be in a full-on cry that would wake the entire house.

I eased back, letting her head fall gently to the pillow and then I placed a foot on the carpet. With another quick, careful maneuver, I was out from beneath the comforter and headed toward our bedroom door. Crossing the hall, I caught a glimpse of the little one standing in his crib, both hands braced on the railing, a single tear glistening on his cheek.

“What’s the matter? Can’t sleep?” I asked, lifting him from his crib. His head instantly went to my shoulder. I let him relax for a moment and then changed his diaper, thinking that may have been the problem, but as soon as I lifted him into my arms again, he clung to me. He just wanted to be held. I was pretty wide-awake by this point, too, so I figured I’d just hang with him until he fell asleep again. The room was still dark, and turning on the light would’ve probably awakened Sam, so I figured we’d just head downstairs for a bit.

The first floor was always a little cooler than upstairs, so I made sure to bring his blanket down with us. We took a seat on the couch and I clicked on the lamp beside it. After a big yawn, Anthony popped his thumb back into his mouth and we sat there in silence, just looking around the house.

“Daddy should’ve brought a book down to read to you,” I said, bringing a sleepy smile to his face. I looked around the room again, thinking to turn on the TV, but I wasn’t sure how high the volume was and I didn’t want to wake anyone else.

My eyes went to the stack of boxes on the other side of the room and I contemplated. Now seemed like as good a time as any to see what was inside, so I stood from the couch again and hitched my son up with one hand. With the other, I took the top two boxes off one at a time and set them on the floor.

“Let’s see what can of worms Grandpa sent over for us to open.”

I took a seat on the carpet and placed Anthony in my lap, bundled up in his blanket with the back of his head resting against me. I set the top to the first box aside and stared at things of mine I hadn’t seen in years—a couple books, a baseball cap I’d forgotten about, a calculator, and a bunch of other stuff I didn’t need or want anymore. Placing the lid back on top, I set that box aside, making a mental note to put it with the other things we had set aside to donate to charity.

Inside the next box, there was basically more of the same, a bunch of things that I hadn’t thought about in years because they were unimportant. That one would go to charity, too. I pulled the final box closer, thinking it’d be quickly tossed aside as well, but then I saw what was inside: pictures, clothing that held memories, and a bunch of other items that all had stories attached to them. Some good, some not so much.

I let out a breath and decided to dig in. The first thing I came across was a stack of photos I’d taken with Kira during the last few years of college. In most of them, she’d only been a friend, but the deeper I went into the stack, it was clear when we’d made the transition from friendship to something more.

Seeing her brought a bitter taste to my mouth. I’d long since stopped hating her, although it took some time. I suppose I was able to get past it because, in the end, I got back everything that was meant to be mine in the first place—Sam, our future. Because I was still in communication with her father, Mr. Tanaka, the head of my father’s company, I’d heard him mention her name a few times in passing. As far as I knew, she’d taken a job on the West Coast working for a magazine out there. I had no idea if she ever worked things out with Reina, her twin, after she’d basically pulled the rug out from under Kira, but that wasn’t my problem. As far as I was concerned, Reina wasn’t the one who needed to be forgiven after everything came out. Kira was. Reina had done nothing wrong aside from trying to protect her sister. While I wished like hell she’d spoken up sooner, I understood her position.

Those pictures were the start of my trash pile. There was no sense in keeping them when I had absolutely no desire to hold on to any of those memories. That phase in my life happened, and now it was over.

Anthony sat up all of a sudden and grabbed the side of the box, tilting it toward him so he could reach a picture of Sam. He spotted her from where he sat, which made me laugh a bit.

“Yep, that’s your mommy.”

A big grin came over his face as he smiled at the photo. The next second I had to run interference before he could get it into his mouth, though. “Nah… can’t have you slobbing all over this one, buddy. Feel free to drool on those, though,” I said, referencing the ones of Kira I’d just pitched.

I dug deeper into the box and pulled out something else. It was the program for the Metropolitan Museum of Art from when Sam and I had come to the city, my gift to her for her eighteenth birthday. Moving here had been her dream since then. Low and behold, she got her wish. While, we weren’t right in the heart of the city, we were close enough for her to be satisfied.