Tokyo Love (32 page)

Dave looked up. “I mean, it's not something I can tell you. I don't know what she's like. But I do know that you weren't happy when you moved to Japan.”

“I wasn't—”

“I'm not saying you were totally depressed. But I could tell that you were a bit lost and not really enjoying yourself. Then, you stop calling every six hours, and suddenly I see you traveling outside of Tokyo with this woman on your arm. Both of you smiling like idiots.”

Kathleen suddenly remembered. “The photo from Nikko. I didn't think I sent that.”

Dave shrugged. “It came from your email address.”

Kathleen wondered what excuse Ai had made up to violate Kathleen's private email. Granted, Ai had practically been Kathleen's private computer.

“Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, I mean, Nikko is a beautiful place.”

“No, I mean, everywhere you went with her. Was it fun?”

Kathleen grinned. Nikko had been fun. But also being in Yuriko's apartment, or seeing the city with her, or riding the train to work. She had eaten food she would have been too afraid to try. She had seen places she had been too afraid to go. Maybe … it had bettered her. She was able to go places and do things even without Yuriko. She missed her terribly. She had learned from Yuriko to not be so afraid.

“But,” she whispered, not caring that she wasn't going to directly answer Dave's question, “what does it matter now? I've messed this up, Dave. We haven't spoken in weeks and … I don't know what she feels for me now.”

Dave sighed. “Well, then maybe it wasn't meant to work out. And don't look like that. You are a grown woman; you know things don't always have to make sense. Maybe next time you find a woman with her arm around you, you'll know what to do.”

They lapsed into silence then. Dave nursed his eggnog a little longer and Kathleen looked out the window to the sun rising through the sky. It was going to be cold today, probably slushy from the light snowfall last night. She remembered hating the humidity and heat of summer. Now all that moisture that had clung uncomfortably to her skin was on the ground, grey in the city streets.

Yuriko had bettered Kathleen. However that didn't seem so important now. Now, with her brother dozing and the sun rising and setting all over the world, Kathleen wondered if she had done anything to better Yuriko.

Kathleen woke up, neck aching and feeling like she had bruised her cheek from lying on her living room table. She blinked her eyes at the bright screen in the dark morning. She felt like she had been dreaming, but she couldn't remember falling asleep.

Her computer was open, images flickering like a movie. It was a random selection from Ai's memory folder. The sound had muted, but Kathleen stared as the scenery showed Nikko. It was the shrine with the crying dragon.

The image was of Kathleen. She was looking up at the ceiling, mouth slightly open. Then she smiled and turned away. From Ai's angle, she couldn't see who Kathleen was looking at. Ai looked down and Kathleen's hand came into view, between the legs of the other tourists, clasping Yuriko's, fingers white in their grip.

Kathleen shut down the computer. She had been waking up like this since the beginning of December. If she wasn't at work, she was sitting at the computer, writing a new program. Then, in the middle of the night, she found herself just flipping through Ai's memories until she fell asleep.

Sleeping at her table wasn't a good idea. It was cold and hard and the streaming images gave her strange dreams. She checked the time on her phone. It wasn't even five AM yet. She stared at the clock a little longer, taking a ridiculously long time to figure out what else was different about it.

The year was different. It was January 1
st
and Kathleen had literally spent all of New Year's Eve coding in the dark. It was pathetic.

Well, at least she had the day off. She wondered if she could go to bed. Or maybe call Dave. It would be New Year's Eve still for him, right? She hadn't talked to him since Christmas.

She stretched, feeling her shoulders pop. Maybe in a little bit. She needed to find a good excuse for why she hadn't done anything for New Years. She even vaguely remembered Mitsu-
chan
inviting her for something. A shrine visit, maybe?

She went to the bathroom and washed her face and brushed her teeth. It made her feel more alert. She threw on a different shirt and tied her hair back into a messy bun. She could use a hot coffee or tea, but she had run out a week ago and kept forgetting to buy more. Her fridge was filled with leftover convenience mart food and half-eaten
bento
boxes. She hadn't cooked in ages.

She heard a door slam outside her apartment, and then boots walking past. Kathleen heard it all the time; the door had no sound insulation. However it was strange to hear someone walking around this early in the morning. Impulsively, she walked to her door, looking through the eyehole.

Yuriko was standing there, frowning as she dug through her purse. Then she pulled out a pair of gloves, looked relieved, and continued walking forward.

Kathleen was opening the door before she could think. “Yuriko!” she gasped into the brisk morning. The concrete was freezing on her bare feet and the cold air shocked the breath from her.

The sky was a pale gray with the streetlights providing most of the light this early in the morning. There was a dusting of snow on the ground, just enough to notice. Yuriko turned around, confused. She stopped, staring at Kathleen.

“It's … it's been awhile, right?” Kathleen blurted. Three months, actually. Even when she got back from traveling, she had never run into Yuriko. She wondered if Yuriko changed her schedule.

Yuriko adjusted her purse on her shoulder, pulling the scarf she wore closer to her mouth. “Yeah, it's been awhile.”

Kathleen had no idea what she was doing. She was freezing, starting to shiver, and her heart was beating in her ears. “Where are you off to so early?”

Yuriko looked over her shoulder as if she could see the train she possibly was missing. “Meiji shrine.” She shrugged. “You know, for the New Year.”

Kathleen knew this was the time she should say, “Well, I won't keep you then!” or something like that, but she couldn't. She had last seen Yuriko in Ai's memories. However this was Yuriko in the flesh. Her hair was shorter, coming to her chin. Her cheeks were flushed. Her eyes were bright.

Yuriko adjusted her purse again. “Aren't you cold?”

Kathleen might have been getting hypothermia. She just laughed. “Y-yeah.” This was her cue, her hint. Her fingers tensed on her doorknob. She should close it, go back inside. Get some sleep. Stop acting crazy.

Yuriko bit her lip. “Do you want to join me?”

“To the shrine?”

She nodded. “It's kind of a big deal … to go to a shrine on New Year's Day. You could come with me, if you like?”

Kathleen swallowed, feeling a sudden warmth bloom in her chest. “Y-yes! Let me just grab some shoes.”

Yuriko snorted. “Also a coat.”

Kathleen stumbled getting back into her apartment. She threw on the nearest coat and sturdy shoes. Luckily she had gloves and a knitted hat in the pocket. She wasn't going to waste any time, just in case Yuriko came to her senses and abandoned Kathleen at her doorstep.

Running back outside, feeling more than a little rumpled, Kathleen was glad to see that Yuriko was still there, leaning against the railing. Yuriko nodded, seeing Kathleen. “Come on, it's going to be crowded.”

“I'm pretty sure Tokyo is always going to be crowded,” Kathleen joked.

Yuriko almost smiled, but she pulled up her scarf and Kathleen couldn't tell. It didn't extend to her eyes. “So, any particular reason you are up so early?”

Kathleen suddenly felt a rush of nerves. “Work, actually.”

“This early? On a day off?”

“Um, actually I just fell asleep … um, at my computer.”

Yuriko's eyebrows lowered. “I'm surprised. I thought the beta was doing really well.”

“It is! But this is, ah, a little project of my own.” Actually, only she and Fukusawa knew about it. Once she felt confident, Kathleen would probably pitch it to Tamura.

“What is it for?”

Kathleen wasn't sure how to describe it. It was Ai's code. Kathleen knew it had the potential to be even broader. Like a dating service a customer could take with them, be able to meet the people around the user, and find the perfect match for them. However Kathleen just couldn't say that she was expanding the idea Ai had to pair up Kathleen and Yuriko.

“It's … it's a little complicated,” she finally said.

Yuriko just continued staring ahead. “Ah, I see.”

They reached the station, barren this time of morning. They both fell silent on the empty train. Looking out the window, Kathleen could see the sun rising between the buildings, bright orange against the gray cloudy sky. It felt like no one else was awake yet. Only Yuriko and Kathleen wandering an empty city.

Upon reaching Harajuku, however, they found where everyone was.

From the train station to the streets, it seemed like everyone in Tokyo was in this very neighborhood. They walked only a little ways from the station to a nearby park. A
torii
as tall as the treetops looked down upon the massive crowd lining up to get inside. Kathleen stared up at it.

“Thank goodness we don't have to toss a stone up there,” she mentioned.

Yuriko shrugged. “Stay close. If we separate, we won't be able to find each other in this crowd.”

Kathleen went silent, standing close to Yuriko. They were in a solid wall of people, all marching into the wooded park. Kathleen imagined it would have been rather pretty without the crowds. The path was wide and the trees were thick and tall. They passed over a stone bridge and by wooden lanterns. As it was, Kathleen was almost getting a little too hot, surrounded by so many people. She tugged at her scarf, trying to breathe in some fresh air.

“So, what have you been up to, Yuriko?” she asked. Because if they were going to be silent until they got to the shrine, it was probably going to feel like hours in this line.

“Just work, as usual.”

“Nothing new?” Kathleen felt like she was fishing. What did she want to know? Had Yuriko moved on? Was she dating someone else yet? Was it really any of Kathleen's business?

“Nothing new, no.”

They were silent again and Kathleen felt her nerves setting in. She hunched her shoulders and looked to the gravel path. It wasn't the large crowd that bothered her, not in this moment. She found herself looking at Yuriko's hand, hidden in her pocket. Could Kathleen reach out and take it? Maybe put her arm through hers? Yuriko probably would abandon Kathleen in the crowd then.

They were in sight of the gate leading into the shrine now and the line slowed down through the smaller opening where people went in and out. Kathleen started feeling cold again and she quickly bundled her scarf back up to her nose.

They were in the shrine now, being pressed forward by the crowds towards the wooden building. Snow had managed to gather on the roof and frost formed in the shade. Kathleen could see people at the openings for donations, praying. Music played and there was some food and drinks being sold.

“Could you … tell me what I need to do?” Kathleen asked, a little afraid she might be shot down.

“Just put an offering into the box. It doesn't have to be much. Then put your hands together.” She demonstrated, palms together in prayer. “Then you pray for something in the New Year.”

They were before the shrine. The building was large and wide, not really like the ones Kathleen had seen in Nikko. It was plainer, a dark brown wood, and much bigger. She could see a little into the murky inside and it smelled like incense. She couldn't see elaborate decorations, at least not from her angle.

Kathleen wasn't sure what to pray for. Her parents had never been religious, though her grandmother had been a steadfast Catholic. It felt rather the same, standing in front of the shrine, surrounded by people with bowed heads. Some people clapped and there was a bell ringing. Kathleen looked to the offering box, the shining coins just visible between the slots.

She remembered the
torii
in Nikko and throwing stones to make a wish. This time her offering had met the goal; she just needed to make her wish.

Kathleen glanced at Yuriko beside her, eyes closed, head down. What was she praying for? Was she praying that this would end quickly? That Kathleen would leave her alone and she could go on with her life undisturbed? Was she waiting for Kathleen to say something? Apologize?

Was she waiting for Kathleen to gather enough courage to admit that she had been watching vids of them for the past month? Had been thinking of her for longer than that? Had realized she was an idiot and needed to make things right? Had finally realized what Yuriko meant to her?

Well, Kathleen would pray for courage. She had given the shrine a healthy donation. She was feeling a little desperate.

Yuriko lowered her hands and Kathleen quickly followed her. They walked over to a crowded merchant stand, selling a whole number of strange items and fortunes that Kathleen recognized from Nikko. People were looking over everything carefully, talking to the priests selling it all.

“What is this for?”

“A lot of it is to help purify your house for the New Year.” Yuriko touched something that looked like ribbon and twigs and bells. “I don't need it; my mother already sent me a care package. Along with about ten pounds of homemade
mochi
.” She was almost smiling and Kathleen pressed closer, as if she could take in that smile for herself. Yuriko dropped her hand and paid for a couple fortunes. She handed one to Kathleen. “Here. The fortune you get on New Year's Day is supposed to be special.”