Tomorrows Child (28 page)

The lonely bath
had been transformed into something beautiful and surreal.
Cheesecloth hung in drapes from a bamboo frame and formed
translucent walls. Dozens of candles surrounded the tub and lit the
small room, casting eerie shadows against the drapes. My eyes
watered from the heavy scent of jasmine that perfumed the air and
floated on the steam and mist, which filled the room. Thinking
about the bathing part of the ritual had made me nervous. The idea
of standing naked and exposed had terrified me, but now I was
relaxed and calm. I undressed and lowered my naked body into the
milky hot water. Libby had fashioned a tiny pillow from a piece of
raw silk filled with oats and fragrant herbs. I rubbed my skin
until it prickled and turned pink. Then I held my breath and
slipped beneath the surface of the water. This was the beginning of
the ritual, designed to purify and consecrate. As I slipped on the
white dress, I felt like a sacrificial virgin.

Phoenix was the
only one waiting when I walked from the bathroom. I was hot and
flushed from the water, but blushed anyway as soon as Phoenix
turned and reached for my hand. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt
as he would any other day and I felt silly and over-dressed.

“You look
beautiful.”

We walked into
a clearing in the forest between the houses. In the darkness, it
was difficult to see the circle in the centre where the women
stood, but I heard Emily singing long before we arrived. With all
my wandering and getting lost, I had never stumbled upon this
clearing. A circle in the centre was illuminated with candles that
created a dreamlike glow in the dark forest. Four stone pillars
stood at each corner; all were less than a metre tall and carved
with a symbol representing each of the elements: Water. Air. Fire.
Earth.

Phoenix still
held my hand, and I didn’t want to let him go, but he pulled his
hand free, kissed me lightly on the lips and pushed me gently into
the circle. I stumbled slightly, tripping on willow branches that
covered the ground. They were green and soft; a welcome comfort for
my bare feet.

I took a deep
breath, tasting Phoenix’s sweet kiss on my lips and waited.

With no moon in
the sky, the candles cast little light into the impenetrable
darkness, but it was enough to see within the bounds of the small
circle. I was afraid. I knew I could trust these women, but my
throat sang out for liquid and my lips stuck together, begging for
water. My heart thumped in my chest and sweat beaded on my
forehead.

“Just breathe,
Psyche,” someone whispered.

Emily continued
to sing a soft haunting song. In front of me lay the doll, my
beautiful Butterfly, bound in pretty rainbow thread still smiling,
totally unaware that this was her final moment. I felt sorrow for
her now, but not enough to save her. Beside her sat a large sooty
pot, the black candle stood tall in the centre and partly
submerged; clear water lapping against its waxy sides. The candle
remained unlit. Emily’s song faded and the women called to the
goddess, their voices echoing in the darkness. Trinity lit the
black candle.

Persephone, Goddess of
the afterlife, Goddess of the spring

We call upon thee,
Great Goddess Persephone

Oh gracious Goddess,
day and night

Great Goddess of Death
and Life

Three times,
they spoke the call to the goddess.

I felt the air
change, sparkle with light and coalesce into the figure of a
woman.

Protect this child with
all your might

See her safe through
day and night

Three times,
they asked for my protection.

Thrice around the
circle bound

Return this binding to
the ground

Unbind the magick, set
it free

Let this girl go
graciously

Three times,
they requested the unbinding.

Slowly, slowly let it
flow

Slowly let her magick
grow

However, they
chanted the final verse repeatedly until it became a haunting
monotone hymn. The goddess stood there; her expression was
unreadable, but her eyes glistened. Tears ran freely down my face.
I didn’t know why I was crying, but I couldn’t stop.

Persephone
raised her hand and the doll rose into the air and stopped just
above my head. She twisted her hand, and the doll spun into a blur
of colour, while the rainbow cord began to unravel. The doll and
the cord stopped, suspended in midair for a moment, before falling
to the ground. The black candle spluttered in the darkness as the
flame reached the water and then flickered and died.

Persephone
looked toward the doll lying at my feet and once again raised her
hands. The doll and the cord rose, now separate, high above our
heads and stopped. The goddess flicked her fingers again and the
doll shattered into a million pieces of light and dust raining down
within the circle. Tiny butterflies flittered amongst the glitter
and then came together as one. The butterfly glistened in colours
of rainbow brilliance against the darkness of the night. I lifted
my hand, let the butterfly land on my palm, and thought about the
dreams and wishes that she safely held inside. I smiled at the
memories and the butterfly once again became tiny sparks of glitter
that filled the air.

The goddess
didn’t speak and the chanting women had grown silent. I felt no
different. Light-headed maybe, but the sweating had subsided and my
heart was beating normally, I was feeling surprisingly fine. The
goddess stood before me and reached for my hand. She appeared to
have more substance now, and was surrounded by an ethereal glow.
She wasn’t normal, at least not by human standards, but her hand
felt real. With my hand in hers, she led me out of the circle and
away from the women.

As we walked,
the light changed and was replaced with an iridescent blue radiance
that didn’t come from the sky, but from the goddess. I knew we were
no longer in the clearing near the circle or in the forest between
the houses, but somewhere else, somewhere between the place called
“home” and where the goddess dwelled.

The goddess
seemed to relax outside the confines of the circle and spoke for
the first time. “You are a brave one, Psyche. You could have kept
the magick bound, you know. Let’s hope you do not live to regret
this day.”

This was
unexpected, a conversation with Persephone. A goddess was holding
my hand and speaking my name, and my tiny mind found no words to
say as she continued.

“You have a
difficult time ahead of you. The magick is powerful, but it’s a
gift for you to command.”

“But how do I
do that? I don’t even understand what the gift is. No one seems to
know.”

“I understand
this, but you will, in time. Only you can learn how special your
magick is and how to use this blessing. This is something no one
else can teach you.”

“But I don’t
feel any different; it’s as if nothing has changed.”

“While I am
here, I will keep the magick at bay. I will keep you safe. I will
do what I can, but you must learn about its power… in your own way.
No one can help you with this.” She turned and took both my hands
in hers, “Our time is limited, Psyche, and I can only slow the flow
of magick for a short time. If I do too much, I will have
interfered, which is forbidden.

“I don’t have
the power to change these things, but you must know that this
magick will kill you if you don’t learn quickly. Command the power
before it controls you.”

“But how? I
don’t know the first thing about magick; I didn’t even want the
magick.”

Persephone
smiled then. “But you did. We all make choices, Psyche. This is
your life and these are your choices. The magick is your destiny.
You only ever receive as much as you can tolerate. Stay strong,
Psyche.”

Within a blink,
we were back at the circle, and the blue glow was replaced with the
golden light of the candles. The smell of burnt wick hit my
nostrils as each candle was extinguished, one by one.

“Take care of
the child, dear ones, she is more precious than you know.”
Persephone leant down and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Remember,
you have until the full moon. Learn fast, Psyche, your life depends
on it.” And in those final words, Persephone left as she arrived.
Sparkles of light spiralled high into the night sky and
vanished.

The weeks
following the unbinding were horrendous. The magick didn’t arrive
in a rush as Tahinah expected and it didn’t kill me or at least, it
hadn’t yet. What did happen was as amazing as it was horrendous. I
began to absorb energy.

I knew that
everything contained energy. Mum told me, Phoenix told me, Libby
told me, even science told me that, but now I could feel it pulsing
through the earth beneath my feet. I felt the living energy in the
trees and the plants in the garden. I felt life pulsating within
rocks and stones, and I felt it flow and crackle in the air and
arrive on the breeze.

At first, it
was subtle and slow. I only felt a slight warmth and a gentle hum
surrounding me. When I walked barefoot in the garden I felt alive,
I felt connected. I loved it and I wanted more, but the humming
became a constant thump like the heartbeat of the earth. It was
amazing, but it wouldn’t go away. It grew stronger and louder as
the days passed. It became intolerable, but that was the least of
it - the noise was the most bearable.

As I walked, I
absorbed energy from the earth. It flowed freely in the air and was
there for everyone, but I was like a sponge, sucking energy from
the air with every breath. My senses grew acute until I could hear
everything, see everything, feel everything. There was no peace and
no respite. As the moon waxed, the energy grew; and with the
arrival of the full moon, the energy was at its zenith. The moon
always sent her energy to the earth every month, and this grand
influx of energy was more than my mortal body could handle.
Persephone had warned me. She told me it would kill me and that
only I could figure out the secret to my magick. She warned me the
days surrounding the full moon would be the most difficult.

“Psyche, you
must learn about the power of your magick,” she said, “and when
you’ve worked that out, you must learn to use it and command it.”
The goddess was kind and gentle, but her advice was of little help
as I continued drawing the energy from everywhere.

Phoenix wiped
my tears and held my hand. When my body trembled, he held me in his
arms. He was my calm in the midst of a raging storm, but the pain
was so real, too real.

At midnight, on
the night of the full moon, Phoenix carried me to the circle. The
women were already there, holding hands. I could see Persephone and
someone else, the faint outline of a woman standing between earth
and the spirit world - my mother. The haunting voice of Emily
resonated through the forest as she sang a song of blessing to the
goddess. The moonlight shone in the circle and I felt the familiar
rush of warmth as another massive dose of energy imbued me.

Phoenix sat me
in the centre of the circle. Each woman laid one hand on me and the
other on the person next to her. Persephone stood at the head of
the circle, with my mother beside her. She reached for Phoenix and
the trio linked their arms in solidarity.

“We thank you
for this gift and release the energy, returning it to you, our
mother,” Libby spoke and Emily continued to sing a whispered,
haunting hymn. I felt the energy seep into me. In the safety of the
circle and the presence of the goddess, I thought that I would be
safe, but I still absorbed energy.

Slowly, I felt
the energy surge out of me and into the women that formed the
circle. It gushed and sounded as if wind were rushing through a
tunnel, and sparks crackled in the air. When the energy reached
Phoenix, Celeste and Persephone, they raised their arms and the
power returned to the moon in a conduit of light and sparks.

For the first
time in weeks, I felt calm. Persephone smiled. “I warned you,
Psyche. This is a powerful gift you have. You must learn to control
it. Next time you might not be so lucky.”

Persephone
squeezed a plump pomegranate, forcing several seeds to fall into
her palm while the thick, red juice ran into a cup. She handed me
the crimson seeds she held in her hand. “The earth is your mother
and life is her gift,” she said and I swallowed the seeds. Then she
handed me the cup and I drank as she said, “The blood of life flows
in all our veins.” It wasn’t blood, but the juice was sweet and
tangy. “As your heart beats, so does the heart of our mother.” She
took my hands in hers, “This is my gift to you, Psyche. We are
united. Find the strength and the wisdom to use the magick and you
will discover the mystery of these gifts.”

Celeste smiled
then, only a hint of sorrow in her eyes, but she said nothing. She
clung to Persephone’s hand and together, they faded into the
night.

The serenity
didn’t last and the energy absorption returned, but this time I
worked harder to control it. When I first began to absorb the
energy, I wasn’t prepared, I didn’t know what was happening or what
to expect. I did now. I also realised that I now had all the
answers I needed.

I knew how to
ground the energy. It was one of Libby’s first lessons. But before,
when I stood barefoot in the garden or the forest, or when I buried
my hands in the earth in a vain effort to return the energy back to
the earth, I was unfocused. My intention was turned inward; it was
all about me, how I was going to cope, how crazy this all was and a
million other thoughts that had no place in my head.