Too Busy for Your Own Good (47 page)

The inner bitch makes meal shopping routine and meal prep possible for everyone. Teach all family members how to nourish themselves quickly without a drive-through. Start by having a whiteboard on the fridge with the week's menu and prep assignments posted. In the beginning, you will have to be the diet dictator until the family starts taking initiative and responsibility. For example, the whole chicken can be washed, seasoned, and put in the oven by a teen; the frozen veggies can be microwaved by a preteen; the rice directions can be followed by your mate; and even a young child can concoct a dessert with flavored yogurt and fruit. In the summer, you can teach everyone the basics of grilling, and wintertime is perfect for an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink soup in the slow cooker.

Assign each family member to plan a dinner each week. Post the weekly shopping list. Tell everyone that if it's not on the list, it doesn't get bought, including toilet paper, toothpaste, and tampons. Teach everyone how to shop and follow the list. Not only can this list save money on impulse buying, but it can also cut down on the need for frequent grocery store trips and fast food. Just think how much your busyness will be decreased when you're not the only person in charge of meal planning, shopping, and preparation.

Harness your inner bitch by instituting rules that include surfing the Internet, gaming, instant messaging, e-mailing, and social networking, whether on a desktop, laptop, or
handheld device. House rules apply to everyone, and some examples are “no electronics during meals,” “black screens from 10
P.M
. to 6
A.M
.,” or “thirty-minute shopping sessions.” You can waste so much time electronically tethered that your home tasks take longer, you don't get enough sleep, wake up groggy, and make hurrying out the door the norm. Is it any wonder you start your day rushed and busy? When you and your mate follow these rules, your kids will benefit in many ways—you will be modeling good behavior and saving the next generation from the “busy danger zone.”

We buy these complicated surround-sound, large-screen home theater systems, and they become the centerpiece of our homes. With digital recorders, we can even zoom through the commercials (except for the ones with a cute puppy). But do we really have to watch reruns of “Two and a Half Men” every night and have the nightly news as background noise for dinner? Turn off the tube! Nielsen Media Research reports individual television viewing in our nation is more than four hours a day. That is equivalent to a part-time job! Besides wasting time, watching television is sedentary and brain deadening—leading to a plethora of health troubles from obesity and diabetes to attention and cognitive problems.

Watching too much television is a lot like smoking; people know the side effects and do it anyway. Let your inner bitch regulate television.

Make rules for hours of operation. It can't be the background soundtrack for your home life!

Trade no-television time for other activities. Take a walk after dinner instead.

Use viewing time to barter with the kids. Read for sixty minutes for thirty minutes of TV.

Leverage viewing time as a reward for chores done by teens and children.

Make family night at the movies an event. Get a brand-new DVD that everyone can agree on, prepare some movie munchies, and have fun.

Your inner bitch makes no excuses for her need for privacy and solitude. The home should be the place where each family member can recharge his or her batteries—especially you. Institute the four Rs for quiet time:

Pick a
regular
time when you are not to be disturbed—except for emergencies involving bodily damage or fire.

Reinforce
your rule. Make consequences for interruptions, such as losing a privilege.

Respect
others' quiet time. Give them time to reestablish their own equilibrium.

Reward
them for respecting your quiet time. Emerge from your private time a more pleasant and refreshed person.

Often you think you need a week's sleep when all you need is a long bath with some quiet in the house. A quick recharging of the batteries ensures you'll be much more present for the rest of the night.

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but spotlessness is next to craziness. Some of the loudest applause I receive is
when I tell an all-female group, “Divide and conquer your housekeeping!” I stress that the goal is to give up on the dream of a spotless home without letting the place go to seed. If you're single and living alone, look to lowering your standards of what you call “clean.” I can't tell you how
freeing
it was when I gave myself permission to
not
have a spotless home.

Each family member can contribute to the efficient running of your home. The first step to make in doling out chores is to make a list. Go around your house and make an assessment. Then list all the chores and housekeeping in your home that will make it livable. (Remember—it doesn't need to be perfect!) Now it's up to you to figure out which chores to delegate to whom. Enforce that this is not voluntary; it's part of what it means to be a family member.