Too Cold To Love (23 page)

Yeah, Happy Birthday to me.

He should have known Elise and Mimi were
planning something. And, fool that he was, he had nearly spoiled it all after
what he had learned that afternoon. They had to talk about that. She was not
going to like it, but until he heard it from her lips, what was a man supposed
to believe. He was so unbelievably tired of fighting everyone, most of all his
own feelings. After Jennifer he'd put his feelings into an ice box only letting
them out for Mimi. Women weren't worth the trouble, and he still believed that,
didn't he? So why did the thought of losing Elise hurt so much?

"Marco?" Elise's sleepy voice made him
turn around.

"Hey,
cara mia
."

"What are you doing all the way over there,
Marco? Come back to bed." Her low, seductive voice wrapped itself around
his senses. She looked so incredibly sexy, with her shy smile, her hair mussed
from sleep, her lips still swollen from his earlier kisses, and his cock
hardened.

He shook his head at his body's predictable
response and smiled at the blush creeping into her cheeks when she noticed his
predicament.

"You're too far away for me to do something
about that, Tarzan."

"So I am,
pasticcino,
but we need to
talk."

He sensed her confusion when he turned around
and pulled on his boxers.

"Now he wants to talk." Her whispered
frustration wrenched a smile from him.

Come on, Giovanni, you can do this. You have
to. Too much is riding on this.

He schooled his features into the controlled
mask he used to wear so well. He winced inside at the way Elise's face dropped,
and she clutched the sheet to herself.

His voice, however, was rough with emotion he
was unable to control.

"Tell me about Rosie,
cara mia
."

Elise's sharp intake of breath and the way she
pulled the sheet up to her chin spoke volumes. All the colour drained out of
her face, making her beautiful eyes look huge. She stared up at him.

"Ro…Rosie? Why would you ask me about
Rosie?"

He hated being the cause of that panicky note in
her voice. She flinched away from him when he moved towards her.

"She is the reason for your nightmares, is
she not?"

Elise drew her knees up to her chest. Silent
tears fell down her cheeks, and he had to step away to stop himself from
reaching out to her. His gut clenched. He so hated to see her cry.

Instead he put some distance between them.

"Tell me, I need to hear it from you."

He didn't think she was going to talk at first.
Then her whispered words caused the fine hair on his arms stand up. There was
so much pain, so much guilt, and she carried this all by her herself.

"If you're asking me about Rosie, then you
must already know. It was all my fault. Please don't make me relive it all,
Marco, please. I can't. I leave tomorrow. I know I have no right to be here, no
right to look after children. They should have locked me up and thrown away the
key. I stopped nannying, and I was never coming back to it… and then, Jem
happened, and I met Mimi. I'm so sorry, Marco. I would never hurt her."

Her voice broke on a sob, and before he could
stop her she scrambled off the bed. She stumbled over the sheet she still
clutched to her body like a silken shield. She fell to the floor with a
sickening thud and curled into a tight ball. Her sobs echoed round the still
room.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"

Fucking hell.
A
few long strides brought him close enough to pick her up. His shoulder screamed
at the strain, but he was damned if he was going to leave her down there.

Her startled eyes flew to his face; her teeth
bit her bottom lip, and he sat heavily on the bed cradling her on his lap. She
buried her face in his chest, and he kissed her hair, murmuring nonsense in an
effort to calm her down.

"Shhh,
cara mia
, it's okay. This
wasn't your fault."

She shook her head and pushed against his chest.
He reluctantly let her go.

"It
was
my fault Marco, all of it. I
was in charge of her. I
knew
that gate was faulty. I should have kept a
better eye on her, but she was so fast when she wanted to be, and God, Marco. I
tried. I tried so hard to reach her, but I couldn't, and then she fell,
and…" A fresh wave of sobs made the next words unintelligible as her whole
body shook in his arms.

He balled his fists against the hot fury
flooding through his veins at the injustice that let a young life slip away and
left the woman that he loved – Christ he really did love her, he couldn't
delude himself anymore – with haunting nightmares.

 
"I'm
sorry, Marco, you must hate me. Heaven knows, I hate myself. Mimi reminds me so
much of her. I couldn't bear for anything to happen to Mimi. You've got to
believe me. I have been extra careful. I know I shouldn't be here. I don't
deserve to care for Mimi. I don't…"

He tightened his grip on her, protectiveness
welling up inside him, and he knew his own eyes held tears, when he cupped her
face to make her look at him.

"Listen to me,
cara mia
. This wasn't
your fault. It was just a tragic accident, and no one blames you for Rosie,
least of all me."

She struggled off his lap, more tears spilling
down her face.

"No, you're wrong, Marco. They do blame me,
and they have every right to. I should have protected her. She was their only
daughter, a miracle IVF baby, and I …I failed them all. She was so beautiful,
Marco, and clever, and spirited, and because I didn't pay attention for that
one awful moment, she fell down those stairs. God, Marco, I will never forget
her just lying there. She was so still. There wasn't a mark on her, but she
wouldn't wake up." Elise clutched her arms around herself and
swayed."They said she'd suffered massive brain damage. I prayed so hard…
if only he'd let her live… but it was all for nothing. And Emma… she was so…
Marco… the things she said to me… and she's right, I don't ever deserve
children of my own. I'm not fit to be around them."

Elise stopped talking, clearly lost in her
painful past, and her whole body trembled. She refused to look at him.

Marco's voice was harsher then he intended it to
be.

"
Dio Santo,
Elise, listen to
yourself. Did you or did you not tell them that gate was faulty? Answer me, did
you?"

Her barely visible nod made him groan his
frustration.

"You told them several times. I know. I saw
the inquest report. You were cleared of all blame. In fact Tom Milligan wrote
you a glowing reference." Elise did look at him then. Her startled
doe-like eyes made him smile.

"How else did you think Jemima got the job,
cara mia
? And yes, I was furious at first when I looked into it. I
thought she'd forged the references. Milligan put me straight on that. He said,
and I quote, 'Elise loved Rosie as though she was her own. We know she did, and
for what it's worth, I'm so sorry about the things we said. Grief does horrible
things to you, and we had to blame someone'."

Elise stood still, a glimmer of hope in her
expressive eyes, and this time she didn't back away when he touched her. He
took her in his arms and drew her close.

"You should also know that they're
expecting another baby anytime now. I dare say Rosie will never be forgotten,
but they seem as happy as they can be,
cara mia
. What happened was
horribly unjust, but it wasn't anyone's fault, do you hear me?"

She nodded into his chest, and he cupped her
chin to make her look at him.

"I wish you'd have told me, but I don't
blame you, and hell will freeze over first before I lose you over this."
Before she could reply, he claimed her sweet lips.
 
He smiled at her moaned response as her body
moulded into his.

His hands shook with the need to lose himself
inside her right now. He would show her what he couldn't bring himself to say
out loud. He deepened the kiss, tasting the salt of her tears under his tongue.
His hands ripped away the sheet in his haste to feel her silky skin under his
fingers. He cupped one freed breast, testing its weight.

"You have spectacular breasts. Have I told
you that? They make a man want to bury his cock in them and cover them with his
cum."
  

His cock hardened like granite at her sharp
intake of breath. Her desire soaked eyes sought his, and he smiled. She trailed
her hand down his six-pack, tracing the ridges, and he sucked in his breath at
the feather light contact. Her hesitant smile made his chest feel tight with
choked emotions he'd thought to never feel again. He groaned when her hand
reached his cock and stroked him through his boxers. He walked her backwards to
the bed and shoved her on top of it. She shrieked when he pulled her legs
towards him so that her ass rested on the edge of the bed.

"Marco, wh…what are you doing?"
  

"Making you forget,
pasticcino
."

 
He spread
her legs and smiled at the beautiful sight of her pussy opening to him. Her
nether lips glistened with her juices, her labia turning a lovely shade of pink,
the longer he looked at it. She gasped when his fingers parted her folds, and
he blew on the tight little bud hiding there.
 
She writhed under him, and her clitoris swelled and hardened. His balls
drew tight, and he knew his pre cum must be leaving a wet stain on his
underwear, but he wanted this to last. This would not be a hard fuck. He
wanted, needed to make love to her, to chase away the doubt in her eyes.

"So beautiful,
cara mia.
I wish you
could see how your pussy begs for my cock."

"Marco, please…" He chuckled at her
strained response and the blush that stole over her body.

"Shhh, I've got you. I love how responsive
you are, how wet, for me, and me alone."

He spoke between open-mouthed kisses he trailed
up her body slowly, across the velvet skin of her tummy, her muscles quivering
under his lips. He swirled his tongue round her belly button and drank in the
salty taste of her skin as her body broke out in beads of perspiration. He
pushed his fingers into the wet haven of her pussy, and she clamped down. A
rush of her juices coated his digits and aided their glide in and out of her
hole pushing her closer to release. Her sweet musk filled the air, her soft,
earthy moans urging him on. Suckling and nipping he paid homage to her
incredible breasts. The dusky rose of her nipples just begged for his mouth and
teeth to bring them to full attention. She arched off the bed when he bit down.
He pulled back to admire his handiwork. Swollen and wet, her nipples stood
proud, and his cock responded in kind. His gaze locked with hers, and the force
of his feelings threatened to undo him. He smiled at her moan of protest when
he moved on to her neck and finally claimed her lips again. Her hands fisted in
his hair; her tongue swirled with his, and she writhed under him until her
orgasm hit her with full force. He pulled back enough to watch her come apart.
Her mouth opened; her breath came in short gasps, and her muscles quivered and
clenched around his fingers buried deeply inside her tight channel. When the
tiny shocks abated, he pulled his fingers out slowly and lifted his soaked
fingers to her mouth.

"Taste yourself."

She obeyed, hesitant at first. Her tongue darted
out of her mouth to clean his fingers, and Marco groaned at the erotic picture.
His cock jerked, and he shut his eyes, willing the threatening orgasm to hold
off.
 
When he regained a modicum of
control, he kissed her and sheathed himself inside her sweet cunt with one
slow, torturous move. Her walls grabbed his cock, and she lifted her hips and
dug her heels in his ass. She moaned into his mouth when he finally allowed
himself to drive in and out of her slick folds. Her hips rose and met his as
they found their rhythm.

Sweet heaven, she felt so good, his wife, his
love, his life. He was never going to be able to let her go. Every thrust into
her drove the truth further home, as they strived to reach completion together.
How was he going to be able to hide this from her? And what would she do when
she found out? Take his heart, and spit it out. He wrenched his lips from her
struggling for control. Her hands cupped his face, her own eyes full of tears,
huge with desire and need.

"Let go, Marco. Give me all of you,
please."

Her tentative smile completely undid him, and he
let himself go, pounding into her, her raspy breathing in his ear the most
erotic sound ever. He couldn't hold out any longer. Her tight internal muscles
gripped his length, massaging him as another climax racked through her. He felt
himself going over growling her name, whilst drowning in the deep black pool of
her eyes. His heart swelled to bursting with everything he didn't dare voice
out loud.

When he was finally able to breathe again he
rolled her over with him. He kissed her between murmurs of Italian endearments
he hoped to God she didn't know the meaning of.