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Authors: Kristen Tracy

BOOK: Too Cool for This School
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In addition to being mellow, my parents were also highly supportive. So after finding out that I’d won class captain, they offered to host a special dinner in my honor and let me invite my friends.

“Time for toasts,” my mother said, lifting a goblet filled with sparkling apple juice. “Cheers to Lane.”

I loved it when my mother broke out the Bohemian glass goblets. She and my dad had bought them together on a trip to Prague before they got married. The cut glass and colored stems looked impressive and made the night feel extra special.

“May your class-captain duties not detract from your homework and may your job remain forever stress free,” my dad said.

I sort of wanted to complain about his toast, because it wasn’t entirely cheerful. But I didn’t. I knew why my dad had said what he said. He was stressed out about his own job, coordinating a groundskeeping crew at a local college. But being class captain wasn’t going to be like managing gardeners on a college campus. I didn’t have
duties
. I just got out of class early once a month to hang out with cool people and plan school parties. It was the opposite of stress.

“To sixth grade,” Ava said. “And all the awesome things that are about to happen.”

Even though it wasn’t exactly to me, I thought that was a pretty good toast.

“Mabuhay!”
Lucia said, lifting up her goblet.

Ava wrinkled her face in disapproval. “What does that even mean?”

“It’s a Filipino toast. It means ‘long life,’ ” Lucia explained.

Ava rolled her eyes. Just because she was a musician didn’t mean that she automatically cared about cultural stuff like Filipino toasts.

“What a drag to start worrying about death right now,” Ava said. “We’re twelve.”

“Not all of us,” my dad said. “Some of us are approaching midlife.”

“Rachel,” my mother interrupted. “Do
you
have a toast?”

My mom was great at switching topics and smoothing over unpleasant moments.

“I do,” Rachel said, raising her crystal goblet and clearing her throat. “Let’s never forget our friends.”

Rachel was the best.

Clink! Clink! Clink! Clink! Clink!

After dinner, in my room, we tried to cram in as much gossiping as possible, because even though it was a Friday, my mom wasn’t letting my friends stay over.

“Paulette is such a mopey freak. What’s wrong with her?” Ava asked. “Ooh! I think you should wear this.” She pulled out a knee-length denim skirt from my closet.

“I like the buttons,” Rachel said. She wasn’t very interested in bashing Paulette or fashion planning. Rachel was my kindest friend. And every day she wore the same thing: T-shirt, jeans, and platform sneakers. Instead of combing through my closet with Lucia and Ava, she sat at my desk doodling marine life. Rachel was great at sketching squids.

“Don’t you hate wearing skirts?” Lucia asked.

“Yeah,” I said. But I thought I should dress up for my first class-captain meeting. Next week, in addition to discussing our (strictly confidential) disco theme, we were going to get our group photo taken. So if a skirt made me look better in the photo, I didn’t mind wearing one.

“What about these?” Lucia asked, removing a cute pair of yellow jeans from my closet.

Ava shielded her eyes and fell to the floor. “I’m going blind!”

“They aren’t that bright,” I said.

“I like them,” Rachel said, looking up from her latest squid. “They remind me of egg yolks.”

Lucia put them back in my closet.

“Maybe I need to go shopping,” I said. “Maybe I could buy something lavender at the mall to coordinate with Leslie.”

“Gross,” Ava said. “Don’t do that. The mall sucks right now. All those extra security guards. If you’re not twenty, they follow you around like you’re already a felon.”

“She’s right,” Lucia said. “After that last skateboarding incident, they’re totally profiling tweens.”

“Tuma ruins everything,” Ava said.

Before I had a chance to agree with Ava about Tuma or defend the mall, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Todd! Ava knew that I had a secret boyfriend, but I didn’t want to share the news with Lucia and Rachel until I was sure my relationship was totally solid.

“Who is that?” Lucia asked.

I read his text.

Todd: Are you around tonight? Want to talk?

This was exciting. I really wanted to send my friends home right away so I could call Todd. We didn’t really talk that much on the phone. I mean, everybody knew we liked each other. We just weren’t ready to be official.

“Is it something about class captain?” Rachel asked. “Is it something you can’t talk about?”

My friends had been really awesome about helping me keep my class-captain things confidential by not asking me questions they knew I couldn’t answer.

“Is it Todd?” Lucia asked.

She was so direct. And I didn’t want to lie. I could feel myself blush.

“It was,” Lucia said. “What did he say?”

For some reason this question made me feel very shy. My phone buzzed again. I looked and saw that he’d sent me a photo.

“He sent me a picture,” I said.

“Of what?” Rachel squealed, sounding way too excited. She stopped scribbling squids and raced to my side.

I showed them the picture of Todd’s dog, Ruby.

“Cute husky,” Lucia said.

“It’s a malamute,” I corrected.

“Does it shed?” Rachel asked.

“It’s a fur bomb,” I said.

“Too bad,” Ava said.

“Does Jagger have a dog?” Lucia asked.

Touché! I liked how Lucia was brave enough to fling Ava’s own crush right in her face.

“Absolutely not,” Ava said. “Mrs. Evenson is allergic to everything.”

Ava’s crush on Jagger Evenson wasn’t nearly as far along as my relationship with Todd. But she was very hopeful. And with good reason. If those two could get it together, they’d make a great couple. They were both so cool. Plus, they were the same height.

“We need to figure out a way to make them eat lunch with us,” Ava said.

“Who?” Rachel asked.

Rachel might have been kind, but sometimes she missed the boat.

“Todd and Jagger,” Ava said. “They eat with the other guys, but I want them to eat at our table.”

It bummed me out that we weren’t focused on picking out my class-captain outfit anymore. But when we started talking about guys, it usually took all our focus.

“I don’t think you’ll be able to pull them away from the guy table until they finish playing that video game,” Lucia said.

For weeks Todd and Jagger and a bunch of other guys had been trying to win a game involving two tribes of dwarves:
Dwarf Massacre 3: Axe of Doom
. I didn’t really understand all the rules.

“That game is so lame,” Ava said.

“Do you even know what it’s about?” Lucia asked.

Ava dropped my skirt on the floor and sat down next to it. “You’ve got good dwarves and bad dwarves. The good ones are made of steel and the bad ones are made of iron. They’re battling each other for world supremacy.”

I was super surprised that Ava knew the rules to
Dwarf Massacre 3
.

“Maybe we should try to play it,” Rachel said. “And then maybe we could hang out at their table and talk about our progress.”

Ava groaned and collapsed backward very dramatically. “I’m strapped to my cello five days a week trying to
learn my part for the waltz in Tchaikovsky’s
Sleeping Beauty
. If I add one more thing to my life, I’ll die.”

“I’m pretty busy too,” Lucia said. “I’ve still got five weeks left of Tagalog classes with my mom.”

I was still surprised that Lucia agreed to take a conversational foreign language class with her mom. It seemed like a terrible way to spend your Thursday nights.

“Haven’t you quit that yet?” Ava asked.

Lucia shook her head. “I’ve learned a bunch of practical phrases. I mean, I already know how to tell time.”

“But are you ever going to visit the Philippines?” Rachel asked.

“Sure,” Lucia said. “Someday.”

“Let’s try to keep brainstorming on how to get the guys to eat with us,” Ava said.

We all just sat in silence. There was a strong divide in the lunchroom. Girls ate with girls. Guys ate with guys. It was hard to cross those boundaries.

“What would happen if we just sat with them?” Rachel asked.

Ava’s eyes grew wide, but she didn’t object. “I’d try that,” Lucia said.

But I thought sitting with my secret boyfriend before we agreed to be official might look pushy. “If you guys do that,” I said, “I’m going to sit with the other class captains.”

All of my friends gasped.

“No!” Rachel said.

“I’d miss you too much,” Lucia said.

“You won’t let being class captain change you?” Ava asked. “Will you?”

What a weird question. “Of course not,” I said.

Then my phone buzzed again. It was another text from Todd.

Todd: Going to play dwarves with Jagger. Maybe we can talk tomorrow.

Oh no. I’d lost my chance to talk to him.

“Why do you look so sad?” Rachel asked. “What did he say?”

I shrugged. “He’s going to play
Dwarf Massacre
.”

Rachel looked at me very sympathetically. “Maybe you and I could learn how to play.”

Did I want to pretend I was a dwarf who violently killed other dwarves? I didn’t think so.

Knock. Knock. Knock
.

My mom popped her head in my room. “Time to break this party up. Moms are here.”

We all scrambled to our feet. Ava handed me my skirt. “You should totally wear this. You’ve got great tights.”

“Yeah,” I said.

They left my room and my house and soon I was all by myself. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and put on my pajamas and got in bed.
Does Todd want to hear from me?
I wondered.
Probably!
Even though I knew he was busy, I sent him a text.

Me: Are you winning?

I held my phone and stared at it. But nothing happened. Eventually, I set it on my bedside table. I pulled out a magazine and tried to do some reading. But my phone was very distracting. Then it finally buzzed.

Rachel: Thanks for dinner. Night!

I felt bad that I was so disappointed. Because Rachel was a great friend. I should have been happy to hear from her. I texted her back.

Me: Welcome! Night.

And while I continued to wait for Todd to text me back, my dad knocked on my door. “It’s great that you’ve got such good friends,” he said, walking in.

I lifted up my head from my pillow and looked at him. “Yeah,” I agreed.

“But family is important too,” he said.

I nodded. “I know. You and Mom are great.”

“Right,” he said. “And even though you don’t see them every day, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about your relatives. You know, your extended family.”

My mom raced into my bedroom like she was missing something important.

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

“Extended family,” I offered.

“Michael,” my mother said in a stern voice. “Lane looks ready for bed.”

I watched as my mother practically dragged my father out of my room.

“Not yet,” she told him in a hushed voice.

And I probably should have wondered about that comment all night long, but I didn’t. Because my phone buzzed.

Todd: Iron dwarves are kicking my butt.

I was so thrilled. Because not only had Todd texted me, but I mostly understood what his text meant.

Me: Isn’t steel stronger?

Todd: Not in this cave.

Me: Good luck.

Todd: Ditto!!

I stared at that word for a long time. Ditto. With not one, but two exclamation points. I felt so lucky. I was twelve and I had everything.

4

While becoming class captain changed a lot of things for me, one thing it did not change was my class schedule. I still had Mr. Guzman as my main teacher for English Language Arts, Social Science 6, Geography, and Creative Writing. And Ms. Fritz still taught Science 6, Algebra Readiness, and PE 6. But the great thing about Rio Chama Middle School was that even though I had two teachers, I didn’t have to change classrooms. My teachers did. So my desk was my desk and I didn’t have to share it with anyone.

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