Too Little, Too Late (10 page)

“I love you, Hosea.”

As if she heard Jasmine’s declaration, Natasia cleared her throat, demanded his attention.

“Hosea?”

“I love you too,” he said to his wife, although his eyes were on Natasia. “I’ll call you in the morning, darlin’.”

He clicked off the phone and signaled for their check. Silence stayed until the waiter returned. Hosea signed, then pushed back his chair. “Ready?”

Natasia lifted her glass, emptied the corner of wine that remained. Then said, “Can I ask you something?”

The cheer that had been in her voice all evening was gone. In its place, sadness, a dread that Hosea had heard only once before—on the night he told her it was over.

She said, “What is it about Jasmine? What is it that you see?”

“I see God,” he said without hesitation.

She reared back a bit at his words. “In Jasmine?” she asked, as if she couldn’t believe his answer.

But he was not moved by her shock. “The moment I met Jasmine, I saw the woman I knew God wanted me to marry.”

She nodded slightly, then lowered her head. “How did you know she was the one?”

He shrugged a little. “It wasn’t like I saw a burning bush or anything.” He paused. “But I heard His voice. Inside of me. Guiding me.”

“So with me, God told you no?”

He waited a moment, not wanting to hurt her with the truth. Then, he nodded. “It took me a while to walk away, Natasia. Even after God clearly said no, I wanted it to be you. I was going to force it.”

“Why didn’t you?”

He sighed. “Because I was tired of running from Him. Tired of not living for His purpose. Tired of doing things that I wasn’t supposed to be doing.”

“Like having sex.”

He nodded. That had been a contention between the two. Hosea was always consumed with guilt afterward—Natasia was not. “I was a minister and living with one of my congregants. No matter how you spin it, it wasn’t right.”

“I never understood why you took that so seriously. We were in love, in a monogamous relationship, planning to get married.”

“And it
still
wasn’t right. We were living hidden lives. Lying all the time—I couldn’t keep up with the truth. God couldn’t bless that. So, He took it away. Turned what had started out as good, bad.”

“That’s not the way I remember it.”

“Natasia, we started fighting all the time—”

“That was just life.”

“That was just life without Him.” He paused. “I did the right thing. For me. And for you.”

She studied her hands. “The break-up never made sense to me, but what’s been worse is what happened afterward. I’ve dated…a lot, but I compare every man to you.”

He chuckled. “I don’t know why.”

“Trust me, Hosea.” She smiled, although sadness was all over her. “You’re special.” She stopped and blinked. Slowly moved her hand toward his.

She touched him. He held her.

She sighed. “I’ve never been able to talk to anyone the way we talked. I’ve never been able to laugh with anyone the way we laughed.” She stopped, spoke slower. “I’ve never made love with anyone the way we made love. You can’t tell me that you don’t remember that.”

Since she’d come back, he couldn’t stop remembering. She’d been his melody. He’d been her harmony. He squeezed her hand, then let her go. “You’re going to find that again, Natasia, but you’ve got to live for now. Not in the past.”

“That’s what I’d been doing until fate brought us together again.” She paused. “Do you ever think about me? Or what we used to be?”

He pushed back the lump in his throat and his memories at the same time. Lied without words—just shook his head, no.

She asked, “How do you know that your life wouldn’t be better with me? Better if we were married?”

“Nat,” he said softly.

They both stopped and rested in the name that he used to call her. “Let’s not do this anymore. I’m—”

She held up her hand. “Stop. Don’t say it. I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath. “It’s the wine. Not me.”

He nodded, helped her from her chair. They shared no words as they walked through the lobby. Inside the elevator, they stood shoulder to shoulder, staring straight at the steel doors.

The bell binged on the sixteenth floor and they both hesitated before Natasia stepped forward.

Hosea followed. When Natasia looked at him with raised eyebrows, he held up his hands. “Just want to make sure you’re safe.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Yes, I do.”

A small smile. “Always the gentleman.”

Silence returned, until they stopped in front of her room. Natasia pushed her key into the electronic lock, then suddenly whipped around and pressed her lips against his.

It was shocking.

Soft.

Nice.

Hosea closed his eyes, remembered, and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into him more.

His heart pounded as his tongue found hers and they kissed the way they used to. His breaths came quicker when her hands slipped from his neck. Then, her fingers moved lower. Lower. Lower.

Her touch made reason return.

He pushed their bodies apart. Her breathing matched his and she turned away, fumbled with the lock. “Come inside,” she breathed, finally pushing open the door.

He stayed still.

She reached for his hand, but he took two steps back. Then stopped.

“Please,” she said, moving into the hallway.

She stretched toward him again, but he moved from her grasp. Their eyes held as he backed away more. Then he turned and rushed down the hall. He came to the elevators, but kept moving. He didn’t want to wait, couldn’t afford to stop.

At the end of the hall, he paused at the staircase. Turned. Looked back from where he came. Looked back to Natasia’s room. To where she’d stood just moments before.

But now she was gone.

J
ASMINE ROLLED OVER
. H
ER
eyes fluttered, then widened. “Jacquie!” And she remembered. Her daughter had stayed with Mae Frances last night. This was her morning to sleep in since Hosea was in Oakland.

She lay back down and molded her body into the soft sheets. She felt like she could lie there forever—especially if Hosea was with her. The thought of her husband made her frown. It was after ten and he hadn’t called. She reached for her cell, but then the hotel’s phone rang. She smiled. All she had to do was think of him and he would call.

She lifted the phone, settled back into the sheets. “Hey, babe.”

“Sorry. Jasmine. It’s just me,” Annika said.

Jasmine laughed. “Hosea’s away and I thought you were him.”

“I’m not your babe, but I’m calling with great news. I’ve found a few hot opportunities for your girl.”

That made her sit up straight. “Already?”

“Yup. Even one in London.”

“You’re kidding. Have you called her yet?”

“That’s why I’m calling you. I tried reaching Natasia yesterday and was told she’s in Oakland on business.”

Her blood stopped flowing. Her heart stopped beating. But her brain—that worked. And Annika’s words crashed inside her head, over and over.

“In Oakland on business.”

That was all Jasmine heard, but Annika continued. “I could wait, but I was wondering, if you had her cell, we can get this party started.”

Her brain directed her lips to move, “No…I don’t…have her cell,” she stuttered.

“Well, it’s not like the positions are going anywhere. I was just excited. I’ll call her on Monday.”

“Thanks,” Jasmine said, and then stared at the phone for long after she put it back in place.

Natasia’s in Oakland.

That was impossible.

She went over everything that Hosea had told her—how Natasia wasn’t going on this trip, how she didn’t want to go, how she was dating Mario Walters.

All lies!

No, Hosea would never lie. Would never cheat. Honesty, loyalty were the most important things to him.

I lied, I cheated.

But Hosea would never stoop to the low things she’d done. Would he?

“Oh, God,” she cried and sank onto the edge of the bed. She couldn’t have lost the fight already. Natasia couldn’t have taken Hosea so easily.

She jumped when the telephone rang, stared at it. There was no doubt who was on the other end this time. Surely, it was the man she loved. But did he still love her?

With a deep breath, she grabbed the phone. “Hello.”

“May I speak to Jasmine, please?”

She frowned. “Who’s this?”

“Jasmine, this is Brian. Brian Lewis.”

She flung the handset across the room as if it was a rattlesnake. What was this man doing calling her? And why now? Why, when her life was falling apart?

She despised Brian Lewis, the man who had almost destroyed her marriage and given her such a gift at the same time. Surely, he had only one reason for calling. And that was to lead her straight back into temptation.

JUNE
2006

I
T WAS THE CURVE OF HER
calves that made Brian sweat. Just the sight of her legs transported him to another place—a room. Any room. With a bed. He could see, even feel her legs wrapped around him. He leaned to the right to stretch the tightness in his neck. Still, his eyes never left her legs.

“Dr. Lewis?”

Slowly, his glance traveled upward. The pharmaceutical saleswoman smiled when his eyes finally met hers. Her grin was welcoming—as if she knew what he was thinking. As if she were not offended at all. As if she thought his thoughts were good thoughts.

Brian cleared his throat and tried to shake off the heat that she carried. “Well, I’ll pass all of this information onto Dr. Miller. She’s the one—”

The woman held up her hand. “I know Dr. Miller makes the buys. I’m just glad you were free to see me today. I don’t know how I got my appointment mixed up like that.” She leaned forward and this time, Brian couldn’t keep his eyes from her cleavage that peeked through the silk blouse she wore. “I’ll just leave these with you.” Her voice drew Brian’s eyes upward. Again there was that smile. Wider this time.

She stood. Held out her hand. “Dr. Lewis, it was a pleasure.”

He took her hand and hoped she didn’t feel the moisture that had settled inside his palm. He stepped back, but still, she held his hand a moment longer and with the smallest of movements, her thumb caressed the soft skin between his thumb and forefinger. And with her eyes, she told him this meeting didn’t have to end here, didn’t have to end now.

Brian took his hand and his eyes away from her.

“You know,” she began, “You’re my last appointment.” She stepped closer and he inhaled her scent. “Would you like to go somewhere…for a drink?”

Once again, Brian took in all of her. Her tailored navy suit that ended modestly right below the knee was straight out of Brooks Brothers. And even though the top three buttons of her blouse were open, she still could have passed for a Wall Street stockbroker. But Brian imagined the woman beneath those clothes. The woman whose legs screamed sexy and whose behind belied her creamy skin, straight blond hair, and azure-blue eyes.

This chick has some connection to the motherland.

She swept her hair over her shoulder and set her eyes on him. The way she stood—poised, prepared—let Brian know that she was sure of his answer. Of course he would go with her for drinks—and whatever. What man wouldn’t?

“So, we can take one car,” she urged.

The collar of his shirt pinched his skin. He needed to loosen his tie, but not in front of her. Through dry lips, he said, “Uh, no. Can’t go. I have to get ready for surgery.”

Her eyebrows rose. “This late?”

His eyes scooted to the clock on his desk. It was almost five and you didn’t have to be a doctor to know that his kind of surgeries were scheduled for earlier in the day. “Yes,” he said, sticking to his lie. “This is an emergency…special…operation on a newborn,” he said, thinking of the procedure he’d done this morning.

Her smile was one-sided as she plucked a business card from her wallet. “Here’s my information if you change your mind. Tonight or whenever.” She stepped toward the door. “I hope we’ll get the chance to…connect again.”

He nodded and when she stepped through the door, he released a long breath of air. His collar was moist with perspiration.

He glanced at the card he held and imagined what could have been. Then, he opened the top drawer of his desk and dumped it on top of the dozens of others that he collected. Cards from women he’d met—at Starbucks, on airplanes, at the gym. Women who peeped at his wedding ring, smiled, and then asked him to give them a call. This had been his heaven—more than a year ago. But then Jasmine came into his life. She’d changed everything.

Brian slammed the desk drawer shut and glanced at the platinum circle around his finger. He’d worn his wedding band off and on, but for over a year, he’d worn his ring every day. And if life stayed the way he planned, he would always wear it; forever married to Alexis.

He sighed. That was going to be some trick. Because if Alexis ever found out his secret, his world would never be the same.