Too Many Men (72 page)

“It was just a good guess, Dad,” she said. “I’ve always been good at guessing.” Edek looked carefully at her. He looked unnerved.

“I do not think it is a guess,” he said.

“Of course it is,” she said. “It’s a logical guess. If it had been something big, those Poles would have found it in a flash.” Ruth felt the back of her neck. It was damp. She was in a cold sweat. “It was an intelligent guess, Dad,” she said, and laughed in order to lighten the atmosphere.

“Maybe you are right,” Edek said.

“It wasn’t gold?” Ruth said. Edek laughed. “No, Ruthie darling, it was not gold.”

“I thought we’d never go to Lódz again,” she said.

“What do you think?” Edek said. “That I did think I would go many times more? I did think I was finished with Lódz.”

“We might as well stay at the Grand Victoria again,” Ruth said. She cheered up. If they were going to go back to Lódz, there were things to be organized. Travel arrangements. A hotel. The organization required for the trip to Lódz revitalized her. There was a normality to arrangements. To schedules and bookings and dates and appointments. She loved to know hotel rates and airline prices and train schedules. She used to read train schedules, sometimes, for relaxation.

She had a copy of the Long Island Railroad timetable in her desk at work. She loved the precision of the schedules, the destinations, and the times. A train scheduled to leave Penn Station at 7:03 A.M. was scheduled to arrive at its destination at 9:07 A.M. It was a wonderful world of order and certainty. Max had decimated Ruth’s pleasure in the Long Island Railroad schedule one day by telling her that that particular railroad company was never on time.

“Why do we need to go to a hotel?” Edek said.

[
4 6 2
]

L I L Y B R E T T

“Because we need a base. We need to get a shovel. We need to organize ourselves.”

“Okay,” said Edek. “There is probably nothing there,” he said after a couple of minutes. Ruth didn’t say anything. She knew that whatever was there, was there. The knowledge frightened her.

“What is it, Dad?” she said. “What’s buried there?”

“I will tell you, Ruthie,” he said, “I will tell you, in Lódz. It is not such an easy story.” Ruth felt sick again.

“It is nothing to do with you, Ruthie,” Edek said “It is nothing to do with you.”

“I’ll get the doorman to get us a shovel,” Ruth said. “Maybe I’ll ask him to come with us. He’ll keep that old couple at bay.”

“You was not so nice to this doorman,” Edek said. “I, myself, was always nice to him. It can never hurt to be on someone’s good side.”

“You’re right, Dad,” she said. She was glad they had tipped the doorman well.

She couldn’t believe that they were going back to Lódz. And for what?

For something that was buried in the ground, fifty-two years ago. If it was in the ground, it couldn’t be too frightening. That was a ludicrous thought, she thought. She had spent half of her life tormented by buried beings.

This was something very small, though. Too small to be a being. How big did a being have to be to be a being?

Ruth shook her head. She had to stop driving herself crazy with abstract riddles. She thought of a distraction. What was it that Edek had said before? He had said that what he wanted to tell her was not about Zofia, and not about Garth. He said he had told her all there was to tell about Garth. He didn’t say the same about Zofia. Was that an ominous omission?

Did it mean there was something he was not revealing about Zofia?

“Should we look for a driver with a Mercedes to drive us to Lódz?”

Edek said.

“Drive us to Lódz?” Ruth said. “I don’t want to drive to Lódz. We’ve got no time, anyway. I want to go home. We’ll fly to Lódz.”

“Are you sure?” said Edek. “We been very comfortable in the cars.”

“I want to fly,” Ruth said. “I want to get there and I want to leave. I don’t want to hang around Poland. I’ve had enough of Poles, and enough of the Polish countryside. I’ve had enough shrines and crosses and Virgin T O O M A N Y M E N

[
4 6 3
]

Marys and Christs on crosses. I’ve had enough pastel Madonnas to last me a lifetime. I’ve seen more sweet-faced donkeys and their sour-expressioned owners than I ever needed to see.” Edek looked alarmed. Ruth’s voice had been rising and rising. People were staring at them.

“Column down, Ruthie,” Edek said. “Column down.”

“It’s calm, not column,” she shouted.

“Okay, colm,” Edek said. “Colm down.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“It got too much for you, Ruthie, the whole trip,” Edek said.

“It sure did,” she said.

Several people in the restaurant were still staring at her. One of them was a priest. Ruth stared back at him. “Don’t look so sanctimonious,” she said to him. “Your crowd doesn’t have a wonderful war record.” She hoped that he understood English.

“Ruthie, Ruthie, what has got into you?” Edek said. There was that question, again. Nothing had got into her. All of this had been inside her for a long time.

“I hate them,” she said.

“Who?” he said.

“The Polish priests,” Ruth said. “Especially the older ones. They pre -

tend to be so pious.”

“You cannot hate everybody,” Edek said.

“I didn’t, before I came to Poland,” she said. What was happening to her? Where was her compassion? Her humanity? She hated who she was turning into more than she hated the Poles. She had to get out of this spiral of hatred.

“Can we leave this afternoon?” she said to Edek.

“You want to leave today?” Edek said.

“Yes,” she said.

“Why not tomorrow?” he said.

“I need to get out of Poland,” Ruth said.

“You was the one who did want to come to Poland,” Edek said.

“Well, I’ve had enough,” she said. “I want to go home.”

“Okay, okay,” Edek said. “We can go to Lódz today.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she said. “I’ll make the airline and hotel reservations.

I’ll see if I can get a flight around six o’clock.”

[
4 6 4
]

L I L Y B R E T T

“That is fine with me,” Edek said.

Ruth worried briefly that she had wanted to leave Kraków early in order to leave Edek little time for Zofia. She dismissed the worry. Edek hadn’t mentioned Zofia. There were far bigger things on Edek’s mind. Bigger things. Like Zofia’s breasts. She had to stop thinking about Zofia’s breasts.

Up until now, she had considered smaller breasts to be superior.

“I will have to say good-bye to Zofia and Walentyna,” Edek said. Had she telegraphed her thoughts about Zofia’s breasts to Edek? How absurd, she thought. Thoughts couldn’t be telegraphed. Zofia’s breasts had probably been in Edek’s thoughts all morning. They didn’t need telegraphing.

“That’s a good idea,” Ruth said.

Zofia and Walentyna were both agitated. Ruth could see their agitation, as soon as she stepped out of the elevator. The two women were standing in a tense huddle in the lounge with Edek. Ruth could see the turbulence in the air. Zofia was waving her arms and shaking her shoulders. Walentyna was nodding. Ruth could see the exclamations and declarations.

Zofia saw Ruth. “You are going so soon?” she called out to Ruth. Ruth walked over to the group. “You are going so soon?” Zofia said again. Zofia looked hurt. Wounded. As though Ruth had somehow plotted this departure.

“We have to go,” Ruth said. “My father discovered something he needed to do in Lódz.”

“You could go tomorrow,” Zofia said. Walentyna nodded.

“I have to get back to New York,” Ruth said.

“She does,” Edek said. “She does have a big business what she must look after.”

“A small business,” Ruth said. “But a business that needs my attention.”

Zofia still looked wounded. “If you are ever in New York,” Ruth said to Zofia, “please feel welcome to call me.” Ruth looked at Walentyna, to make sure she knew she, too, was included in the invitation. Neither of the women answered.

“It is time that we have to go,” Edek said to the two women. “Poland is not so good for my daughter. It is not so good for me, too, to tell you the truth.”

T O O M A N Y M E N

[
4 6 5
]

“Of course, dear Edek, of course,” Zofia said.

“Of course,” Walentyna said.

“It’s been nice meeting you,” Ruth said to Walentyna.

“For me it has been a pleasure to get to know you and to get to know Edek,” Walentyna said. “I think you are a brave girl.”

“I’m not a girl,” Ruth said. “I’m a rapidly aging woman. I’m exhausted.

But thank you anyway.”

“You are a brave girl,” Walentyna said.

Zofia had taken Edek to one side, and was saying something in a low voice to him. Ruth strained to hear her. “My darling Edek,” Zofia was saying, “I will call you every day until you come to Sopot.” Edek laughed.

“We have to go,” Ruth said loudly, and walked over to where Zofia and Edek were standing.

“What is Melbourne like?” Zofia said to Ruth.

“Damp and gray,” Ruth said.

“Like Poland,” Zofia said, nodding her head. “Maybe I will come to Melbourne,” Zofia said to Edek.

“We have to go,” Ruth said again. Zofia threw her arms around Edek. “I will see you very soon, dear Edek.” Edek laughed. Zofia turned to Ruth.

“Good-bye, Ruthie,” she said. She put her arms around Ruth and gave her a hug. Ruth stiffened in mid-hug. She wished she hadn’t. She didn’t want to hurt Zofia. She was leaving. She was sure they would never see Zofia again.

Ruth gave Walentyna a hug. “Good-bye,” she said to Walentyna.

Walentyna kissed Edek on the cheek. “You are two brave people,” she said to Edek.

“Who?” Zofia said. “Me and Edek?”

“No,” Walentyna said. “Edek and Ruthie.” Zofia glared at Walentyna, then she turned back to Edek. “Bye bye, dear Edek,” she said.

Ruth and Edek got into the taxi. Zofia stood in the street and blew kisses to Edek. Walentyna stood beside her. In the car, Ruth could hear Zofia’s kisses. Mwah, mwah, mwah was the sound Zofia’s kisses were making. Zofia stood in the street and blew kisses until Ruth and Edek were out of sight.

The Polish Airlines flight from Kraków to Lódz was almost empty. There were only two other people in first class, and ten or fifteen people in econ-

[
4 6 6
]

L I L Y B R E T T

omy. Ruth had booked first-class seats to give her and Edek some breathing space. “I don’t want Poles breathing down my neck,” she had said to Edek.

She looked at Edek. He looked bright-eyed and buoyant, but he must be tired. She was exhausted and she hadn’t had a late night. The image of Zofia blowing kisses to them all the way down the street came into her head. It had been a sweet image. The two women, one blowing kisses wildly, and the other standing primly beside her.

“You must be tired, Dad,” she said to Edek.

“I am not tired,” he said. He looked at Ruth. “Who would imagine I would go back to Lódz? What would Rooshka say?” Ruth was glad that Edek was thinking about her mother. “Don’t be frightened, Ruthie,” Edek said. Ruth felt worried. Edek had reassured her one time too many. He must be reassuring himself, she thought. She tried to allay her worry. Whatever it was that was or wasn’t in Lódz, they would be out of there, very promptly, and on their way to New York.

“Why don’t you have a short nap?” Ruth said to Edek.

“I do not need to have a nap,” Edek said. “I am fine. I got my book.”

He held up the book he was just starting.
As Blood Goes By
.

“Oh, Dad,” she said. “You choose the worst-sounding titles.”

“This is very good,” Edek said. “I can see already it is a good book. It is about a man what one day finds—”

“Don’t tell me any more,” Ruth said. “Please.”

“We are flying at an altitude of twenty-three thousand feet,” the pilot said, in Polish and English. “You can move about the cabin if necessary but we recommend that you remain in your seat with your seat belt fastened.”

Ruth checked her seat belt. She checked Edek’s seat belt. They were both securely fastened.

She looked back at Edek. He had fallen asleep. Ruth was surprised.

Edek never slept during the day.
As Blood Goes By
had dropped to the floor. Edek must be exhausted, she thought. She looked at him again. He was out of it. It must have been some night he had last night, she thought.

Chapter Sixteen

R
uth felt a change in the plane’s atmosphere. It startled her. She had been daydreaming. Thinking about the Union Square farmer’s market, and what she would buy there. She looked around. Everything looked normal. There had been no announcements from the flight deck.

No turbulence. No series of beeps from the captain to the crew. It had been a smooth, uneventful flight. Still, she felt bothered. She felt sure she could sense a movement in the air. The usually still, artificial air of airplanes was moving. The normally dormant, stiff air of all flights definitely had a ripple.

She could even hear a flurry, a flicker of wind. She listened carefully. There was definitely a stirring, a ruffling.

She looked at Edek. He was still asleep.
As Blood Goes By
was still on the floor. The two other passengers in first class were sitting, motionless, in their seats. Neither of them looked worried. She listened again. She could hear breathing. Labored breathing. She could also feel jerking and twitching. “I can hear you,” she said suddenly. “I can hear your mouth opening and closing. I can hear saliva sticking to your gums. Semidry suction noises.

Are you not well?” There was no answer. “I can hear your bones,” Ruth said. “I can hear creaks and clicks. Are your bones giving you trouble?”

There was no reply. The air was still shuddering. Still unsteady. “I know you can hear me,” she said.

She remembered how unnerved she had been when she had first heard

[
4 6 8
]

L I L Y B R E T T

those words. Now, the words were coming from her. She wasn’t unnerved now. She was not even nervous. “I know you can hear me,” she said again.

There was no answer. She felt uneasy. Why was she summoning him? Why was she calling out to him? She wanted to let him know, she thought, that she had the upper hand. That he couldn’t surprise her anymore. That she could detect his presence.