Too Much to Lose (22 page)

Together.

“Princess,” I press through
gritted teeth. “Princess,” I try again, my hand finding her hair so I can
stroke it.

She lifts her head.

“You need to stop. I can’t take
anymore.”

She grins and lowers her head
to continue but I shake my head and sit up abruptly. As much as she’s
fulfilling one of my many, many fantasies about her, I desperately need to
touch her some more. If she doesn’t forgive me, I’ve got to make the most of
it. That probably makes me the most selfish asshole out there, but I can’t even
deny it. I’m weak when it comes to Jess.

Gripping her arms, I pull her
up until she’s straddling me. I lie back again and take in the sight of her
smooth thighs framing me.

“Take off the T-shirt,” I
command a little roughly.

“As you wish.”

My T-shirt comes off her
quickly and I think I growl. I raise my palms to cup her breasts. They fill my
hands so perfectly. Her golden skin is silky. I want to taste every inch of it.
My mouth waters in anticipation. I squeeze and mould her breasts while I study
her face. I’m learning what makes her tick and, at the moment, it seems I can’t
go wrong. I’ve never had sex like it. She’s so damned responsive. Every
reaction seems natural and so open. The trust she’s putting in me already is
frightening and gratifying.

I trace the band on her arm,
the ink so at odds with the woman in front of me. Yeah, it matches her when
she’s in her leather and wearing all that make-up but the one I’ve got here... no,
it doesn’t suit her one bit. But that’s okay. We all wear disguises, right? We
all put on a face in public. I’m just grateful she’s let me see past the mask.

“Part of my disguise,” she says
quietly.

“I know.”

“What about yours?” She follows
my suit and traces the words on my stomach.

I shrug. “Misspent youth
perhaps.”

“Doubt it. You may look bad,
Hunter, but you’re not. You’re too focused and driven to be a bad guy.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I know more than you think.”

“Just like I know you better
than you think,” I counter.

“Show me.”

The woman must realize I love a
challenge. “That I can do.” I roll her over and take the chance to position her
just how I want her.

When I press her arms above her
head, her breasts rise and fall in anticipation. A gleam enters her eyes and
her luscious lips part. I smooth away the hair that is hiding her gorgeous
breasts from me so it’s fanned out on the pillow. Slowly, carefully, I skim my
fingers down her ribs and coax apart her thighs. My mouth grows dry.

I press my fingers into her
heat, taking the time to explore her thoroughly. She bucks while I take a hot
nipple in my mouth. I nip at it and suck, relishing the feel of its tautness
against my tongue. The little aroused noises she releases rattle through my
brain and make me so hard. But the need to prove myself drives me forward. As
selfish as I might be, I have to make the most of this and demonstrate to her I
can be giving. The thought that if I make this the best fuck of her life, she
might not leave me when she finds out plays through my mind.

“Hunter,” she begs, the sound
twisting my insides.

I curl my fingers inside her
and play over her sensitive nub with my thumb, all the time scattering kisses
over her breasts. She begins to squirm so I slide up a little to claim her
mouth and hold her down as I move my hand harder and faster. It doesn’t take
long. Soon she’s splintering around me and I swallow her sounds of pleasure
while her nails dig into my back.

Aware I have a satisfied smirk
on my face, I draw back to eye her damp skin and glazed eyes. Poor girl has no
idea what I’ve got in store for her. Moving from on top of her, I press a hard
kiss to her mouth and roll her boneless body over so she’s on her front. I grip
her ass fiercely with both hands and relish being able to touch her without the
frustrating barrier of clothing. She squeaks—in protest or with excitement, I’m
not sure but I don’t care. Jess is going to take everything I’ve got to give
until she can’t take any more.

I run my hands up and down her
back, following the curve of her spine to the dimples above her bottom. The
gently vibrating skin of her rear begs for my touch again and I massage it
before following the curves down to her thighs. I keep skimming my fingers
under each cheek and between them. She’s hot and damp and ready for me but I
avoid touching her directly. Arousal and perfume mingle in the air, and even
her skin gives off some kind of unique scent that is totally addicting. Needing
to taste it, I pepper kisses down her spine to her rear. I continue to caress
and mould her body, teasing the juncture of her thighs with brief touches.

“Hunter,” she says tightly—a
plea.

Whether it’s a plea for more or
for it to end, I don’t know. I’m just enjoying every rippling reaction of her
hot body and the sounds she keeps making. Lying beside her, I rest on one elbow
and she turns her face toward me. I kiss along her nose and press a finger into
her.

Jess gasps. “I can’t—”

“Yeah, you can and you will.”

Her eyelids flutter closed and
she lifts into my hand when I work deeper and harder. Like some kind of
penance, I’m determined to pleasure her until my fingers stop working. And by
the ache in my hand that might not be far away but her parted lips and rocking
movements are so worth it. Already, she flutters against my fingers, a climax
not far off. I find her g-spot and rub vigorously against it. When it hits her,
it’s so powerful, I feel her clamp around me and her eyes fly wide. Jess
trembles and I draw out my hand to stoke up and down her in a soothing motion.

It’s hard to believe how
rewarding seeing her pleasure is. I realize there was nothing selfless in doing
that for her. I gained just as much from it. When have I ever felt like that
about a woman? I meant what I said to her earlier—that this was it for me—but I
didn’t appreciate quite how deep I was until now. I think, given time, I could
fall head over heels for her.

That’s if I’m not there
already.

When her breathing calms, I
coax her onto her side and skim a finger down her profile. She smiles, her lips
stretching into a cat-like grin of satisfaction. Then a sneaky hand slides down
my stomach and begins to stroke me. I groan.

“You’re going to kill me.”

“That’s not my intention. But I
owe you.”

“You owe me nothing.” My voice
comes out kinda harsh and I move to cover her body with my own before she can
protest.

Spreading her thighs with my
legs, I grip her hips and move her just enough so I can press into her. We both
suck in sharp breaths as I bury myself to the hilt.

I’m lost.

***

I wake exhausted, satisfied, content and guilt-riddled. With
a stretch, I glance down at Jess, all curled up in a tiny ball against my side.
She’s not wrapped around me like I’d expected but sort of nestled into me. The remnants
of dark make-up is smeared across her eyelids and her pale lips are slightly
pursed in sleep. Sunlight drifts over her as it seeps through the curtains
while dust particles dance in the air. It surrounds her in this bizarre halo
that makes her even more beautiful.

Did she really take that money?
To look at her now, you wouldn’t think it. Do I even care? Wincing, I try to
ease out of bed but she stirs so I freeze. I’d wanted to make a phone call or
two without her listening in, and also check out that note once more. I
shouldn’t have let myself get distracted but I couldn’t resist. The bed creaks
while I try to shuffle out from under the covers and Jess mumbles, coming fully
awake. The cutest sleepy smile comes across her face and makes my heart flex.

“Morning.”

Just like I couldn’t resist
making love to her, I’m powerless to stop myself sliding down next to her and
kissing her nose. “Morning. Sleep well?”

“I did.” She stretches but
wariness sits in her eyes.

“No nightmares?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Do you get them often?”

She lifts a shoulder and I draw
her fully into me. Like liquid, she moulds to me. Warm soft skin against mine
makes my breathing stilt.

“Not too often. Less recently.”

“I wish you’d told me.”

Jess shakes her head. “Hunter,
no one wants to know about my sordid past. I was an idiot. I made a stupid
mistake. I’m glad you know now but all I’ve ever wanted to do is put it behind me.”

“Princess, you’re not an idiot.
You’ve been through so much and you’re so brave. I think you’re amazing. How
many people would be brave enough to start from scratch like you did? But I do
understand the need to forget.”

A crease appears between her brows.
“How did you find out anyway? Did you…” I see her throat work. “Did you see
me?”

I draw in a breath through my
nose. This is my opening. But I can’t do it. I can’t risk her kicking me out of
her life and leaving her open to danger. And now I know just how vulnerable she
really is. The bad girl act is a complete façade. I already knew that but I
didn’t understand how deep it went.

First I need to get rid of this
psycho who’s sent her another letter. Then I’ll worry about the truth. No way
in hell am I letting anyone harm Jess ever again.

“I saw a bit,” I admit.

“Oh God.”

“You’ve done well to keep
yourself hidden, sweets.”

“Not well enough. Whoever is
sending me letters knows who I am too.”

“And this is the first all
week?”

Jess draws in an audible breath.
“There was one more yesterday. Telling me they know who I am.”

I rake a hand through my hair
and draw back from her, just to keep control of my body. It’s hard to think
when little bits of naked flesh keep touching me. I could just peel away that
duvet, spread her thighs and lose myself again. But I need to focus. “It’s
escalating.”

She chews on the end of her
thumb and nods. “I thought about running again, but I convinced myself nothing
more would happen—that I could cope with a few letters.”

“This isn’t going to stop at
letters.”

“You’re scaring me.”

“Good. I want you to be scared.
I don’t want anything to happen to you and if you’re scared, you won’t take
risks.”

“So what am I meant to do? Just
wait around until something happens?”

 “I think you should come stay
with me again.” It’s hard to believe that less than twelve hours ago I was
anticipating a life without her and now I’m asking her to move in once more.

Permanently though? Actually that’s
not a bad idea. Waking up to Jess every day certainly wouldn’t be a hardship.
That’s if I even manage to keep hold of the house.

Her tongue swipes along her
bottom lip while she considers this. “Stay with you? I don’t know… this is all
a bit—”

“Sudden?” I swipe a thumb over
that damp lip. “Yeah, it is. I was a dick. And I don’t doubt if things were
different we would be moving at a slower pace and I’d be doing my best to make
things up to you.” Then I recall her soft flesh pressed against me and grab her
ass. “Then again, maybe not.” She laughs, the sound swirling through me and
setting warmth alight in my chest. “Look, I’m not asking you to make any
decisions. I know you’ve been alone for a long time. Just let me keep you safe
and when this is over we can talk about us.”

“And what? Have a normal
relationship?” Sadness dims those green eyes. “I don’t think things will ever
be normal with me. What if your friends find out? Or what if we have kids and
they find out or
their
friend’s find out?”

I silence her with a swift kiss
before drawing back. “Slow down. First, my friends will accept you no matter
what, because if they don’t, they’re no friends of mine. Anyway, you know
they’re good guys and if you make me happy—”

“Do I?”

“Hell, yeah. Too happy.” She
wriggles against me and I hiss. “I can’t think straight around you and I need
to think straight.”

“What about your job? Won’t it
affect your reputation, dating a porn star?”

“My personal life has nothing
to do with my job.”

“Am I going to get in the way?”

I don’t know if she means now
or later on in my life. I squeeze her. “Never.”

Soft fingers trace swirls over
my chest. “I really don’t think you know what you’re letting yourself in for.”

“I know that you’re cute,” I
kiss her nose, “and sexy,” then her chin, “and funny,” now her cheek, “and you
drive me insane and you work too hard and you’re stubborn and independent.”
Finally I kiss her lips and her tongue darts out to meet mine. I surrender
briefly to the kiss. “I know you’re a whole host of trouble, but I also know
you’re worth it. But maybe you don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for
with me.”

“Maybe I don’t.” Jess’s lips
tilt. “But I’d like to find out.”