Torn (4 page)

“Yeah. I know. Not for one second did I not think about you. I thought about you for every second of
every day. I don’t know what happened, I got out of basic and got stationed in England. I met all sorts of
new people and I just couldn’t keep you waiting around for me. I wanted you to get out there and have
some fun and you always made me feel like you were waiting around for my call or email. I…I really
don’t have any other excuse or explanation. If you were to slug me right now, I would take it and thank
you for it. I was a douche to you and it wasn’t fair, I really should have explained things to you sooner.”
He grabbed my hand and held it while his thumb caressed my knuckles.

“Well. That had to be the worst sorry in the history of all of your apologies!”

 

“I am so incredibly sorry. Is that one better?”

 

“A little.”

The waitress set down our plates of pizza, I have never felt more hungry in my life; I just wanted to pick
that pizza up and scarf it down. It was just after hearing him tell me why we lost contact I just started to
pick at the toppings. I could feel his gaze still on me.

“You not hungry?

 

“Yes, I am, but I am still in shock that I am seeing you.” I said laughing. “I typically have a hard time
actually chewing my food; I am told I don’t actually look like I savor the actual food.”

 

It was so nice to have him there. Us laughing enjoying the time together, you would have never guessed
that we were ever apart.

 

“Do YOU chew your food? And where do you put it? You look amazing!”

“I do chew, I eat a lot actually. I do hit the gym a lot. I figure I can eat what I want but that means I have
to hit the gym longer and harder. Actually, I was just admiring how grown up and beautiful you have
really become. I mean you have always been gorgeousto me, but now you are just… wow...” He was
looking at me with those delicious green eyes again. How have you been? What have you been up to?
How is your mom? You know all the other stuff as well.”

“I have been really good. I have been working in an accounting firm here downtown; I got the job right
after I graduated and have been there, wow it seems like forever now. As for Lynda, well she is mom.
She got remarried 2 years ago. To a guy named Avery. He is really, genuinely sweet to her and she seems
happy but I don’t quite see them together forever.He is very much into keeping up his looks and as is
my mom, but she is the queen of takeout and he is the king of workout. Oh well, for the time being she
is happy and that makes me happy; she deserves this. Now on to you, how have you been? All that other
good stuff.”

“I’ve been good. I just got out of the military, well I got out 2 years ago. I was living in Florida for a little
bit, but that wasn’t where I wanted to be so I decided to move back home. Folks are good; they’re still in
the old house. They asked about you the other day and then I just happened to run into you last night.
You married?”

“Wow. Talk about jumping subjects! But, yes.” I said lowering my head.

 

“Why did you just lower your head?” He asked.

 

“Cause I don’t want you to be disappointed with me, I don’t know.”

“Ryleigh, why would I be disappointed? You and I have been apart for so long and yeah, I mean, I would
have loved to come in and find that you were a single woman and I could swoop in and take you away
with me and never let you go ever again, but come on; I would be lucky and that is something that I
never considered myself. So, no, I am not disappointed with you. I am happy for you. Are you happy?”

“Of course I am happy!” I sounded like I was getting a bit defensive.

 

“I don’t mean to upset you, but Ryleigh, I still think about us.” He grabbed my hand, again, so tight; his
look was so serious compared to the lighthearted one only a moment ago.

“I think about what could have been and what should have been. I know me saying this is going to cause
some problems, but I can’t let you out of my life.” He slid around into my side of the booth not letting go
of my hand. “I really know this is horrible timing, but Ryleigh, I just can’t leave you again.”

“Caleb are you insane? Have you lost your mind? I am married! I have been married for 6 years now! I
can’t just walk away with you, forget everything that I have and run off into the sunset with you!” I could
feel tears building.

“I have missed you, I truly have, but was this your plan all along to just come in on your white horse and
take me away? Caleb…”

“I don’t know what I was hoping to have happen but Ryleigh I had to see you and to tell you.” He
dropped his head and looked down for a split second. It was just then Caleb grabbed me by my arms and
embraced me in a deep, passionate kiss.

I wanted so bad to push him away, but to have his soft lips on mine once again was the best feeling. His
tongue began to push through my lips; I could feel it massage my tongue. My body began to melt
against his, all the while my fingers combed through his hair. My arms moved down his toned arms and
back up to his neck. I felt like a teenager in highschool all over again, making out wherever we felt it was
necessary to but on such a display.
His lips were so soft, so tender; his tongue was amazing against mine. I could feel our bodies fighting for
air, but at that moment we didn’t want to even break for a second to let that small little breath of air
come in.

It was only then, when that moment of pure bliss was interrupted by reality. What was I doing? I slowly
pushed myself up.

 

“Caleb, we can’t do this… it’s just wrong.” I could really only then feel myself struggle with the words
coming out. “What we had was just that, HAD, we are different people and….”

“Ryleigh, I love you. I know that I have the worst timing in the history of man, but you have to know that
I want to be with you more than ever! I have never forgiven myself for leaving you the way I did, but you
have to know if I saw you that night, I would have never been able to leave.” He began to stare down at
the table.

“That’s the thing Caleb. If you would’ve stayed, we could have been together. We would have been
together. We could have been spending this afternoon in a completely different situation, but you left
and we both have moved on! I am meeting you to catch up, not to play the ‘please forgive me and come
with me’ game. I did love you, Caleb.” I paused for a moment to collect my thoughts. He never took his
gaze from me. “I didn’t know it until it was too late, but when I did- I was heartbroken.”

“Ryleigh, I am so sorry. I didn’t know how badly I hurt you.” He dropped his head, almost as if he were
defeated.

“I moped around for days on end. I never in my life felt so hurt. When I finally went off to school, started
making some new friends, sure I thought about you every day, but then I met Liam. He slowly made me
feel like I could love again. I did.” I could feel my tears sting the back of my eyes, but knew if I cried I
would be in his embrace again and I didn’t know if I could handle it. My eyes didn’t want to leave the
crumb filled table.

“I am sorry, Ry. I didn’t mean to upset you or even hurt you back then or just now. I wanted to let you
know that I, too, have been thinking about you since that day. I wanted to find you and tell you how
sorry I was. How sorry I am.” He cupped my face to look at him. “I am not saying that I want you to leave
your husband, your happy life. I want you to be happy, but I want you to know I have to be with you. I
can’t love anyone else in this lifetime. I only have love for you, you own my heart.”

That was the moment the tears finally found their way down my cheek. He slowly wiped each one away
with his thumb.

 

“Look, I need to get back to work. I don’t know howto even answer something like that. I really don’t
even know what you are asking of me, but I do know I can’t do this right now. I will call you later.”

He slid out of the booth pulling my arm and hand up to help me out. He began to follow me to the door,
not letting go of my hand in fear of me running. Deep down, that is exactly what I felt like doing. I may
have had heels on, but running is all I felt like doing.
“I know I put a lot out there in one lunch date, but I had to tell you. I don’t think that I could have held
this back any longer. Just, I guess, think about what I said.” He leaned in and gave me a tight hug.

He slowly let me and walked in the opposite direction. I stood there frozen, just watching him walk away
from me. I began to think of Liam, the happiness we shared, but the farther that Caleb walked away; I
couldn’t help but think of how much I wanted him.

Chapter Four

“Caleb! Wait!” I yelled for him. I found myself walking faster and faster to almost a jog up to him. He
slowly turned around. He looked like someone just kicked his puppy. “You have the worst timing ever!”
I quickly jumped into his arms and found my mouth on his.

I couldn’t believe that I was kissing him deeper and more passionate that I have ever kissed anyone.
Even my own husband! I felt his hands work his way up and down my back while mine held onto him for
dear life.

“Come back to my hotel with me. I have to be with you.” He whispered into my ear.

 

All I could do was simply nod at him. I couldn’t believe that I had just agreed to make this happen, but
everything in my body was telling me to go. Nothingin this very moment could tell me no.

 

Thankfully, his hotel was just down the road a few blocks. I am not sure why, but I found it amusing that
he was staying in the Four Seasons. It just seemed so posh and Caleb was anything but.

The elevator ride up to the 22
^nd
floor was a pure adrenaline rush, I could feel my energy levels cranked
up to the max, my heart was about to burst through my chest and I could feel my cheeks begin to burn
from the smile that was being produced from ear to ear. The walk down the hall seemed never ending.

When we entered the room, I looked around amazed. It was a beautiful room, with an amazing view of
Denver. Then I saw the bed. The linens creased in the most amazing ways, the pillows looked like puffy
clouds. I felt Caleb sneak up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. His soft lips began to work
their delicious magic up my neck and to my ear. I felt his teeth nip at my lobe. Could this totally be one
of those crazy dreams that I have had once or twice before?

“Do you need or want anything?” He whispered in my ear.

 

“N-no. I am good.” I stuttered. I felt like a virgin all over again. I was a nervous wreck and anxious all at
the same time. I had to remind myself that I was an adult and knew exactly what I was doing.

 

“Turn around.” He whispered. I turned to face him and found the same Caleb I once knew standing in
front of me, but with this more grown up face, this powerful sexual attitude.

 

I turned to face him, to find that he had the darkest look to him. He looked at me with such passion,
such romance, I could have come up apart at the seams right then.

I unbuttoned his shirt, but our eyes never lost each other. He leaned down and cupped my face and
pulled me in for the deepest kiss. I could feel the back of my knees hit the mattress. I felt his erection
straining against his jeans as we both fell back onto the bed.
“Caleb…” I said quietly.

“Hmm…” He said as he kissed back up to my neck and my ear.

 

“I…I don’t know if I can do this.” I sniffed.

 

He stopped grinding into me and looked deep into my eyes.

“Ry. I don’t want to make you do anything that you aren’t ready to do. I don’t want you to feel any
pressure from me or feel like you have to do this. I love you so much and I could just lay here in bed
holding you.” He said sweetly as he kissed my neck once more.

I could feel the tears sting at my eyes as he sat back down next to me.

“I don’t want you to cry, okay? This is my fault more than anything, Ryleigh. With that being said, I am
really sorry that I even let it get this far. I know that you are married; you even said you were happy and
I brought you back to my room. I would love to be friends once again and this was not the way to begin
that friendship.” He hooked his arm around my waist and pulled me into him.

“No, I am sorry. I shouldn’t have led you to believe that I could do this. I would like more than anything
for us to be friends.” I leaned my head on to his shoulder and wiped my face.

 

“Would you like something to eat? You really didn’t eat your pizza and you must be starving.” Caleb
asked as he stood up to grab one of the menus.

 

“Thanks, but I really need to head back to work. I have been gone for a little longer than I should have
and I really need to head back.” I said slipping on my top.

 

“Stay.” He quickly demanded. “Look, I don’t think I can let you leave knowing that we both are feeling
really awkward. Please?”

 

“Alright.” I reached in my purse and grabbed my phone. “Do you mind if I step out onto the balcony real
quick to call?”

 

“No, please take as long as you need. I will get us some dinner and then we can sit down and talk.” He
said as he opened the glass door.

 

As I stepped outside, I noticed I had a missed text. My heart about stopped thinking that it was Liam.
Thankfully it was just Courtney.

 

Hey! We need a girlie day! Toes, nails, massage…whatcha think?

I closed out my message box and called work. I toldAva that my stomach wasn’t doing too well from
lunch and that I was just going to head on home. After a million, ‘can I bring you anything’s?’ I was able
to get off the phone with her with a brief second to text Courtney back.
Hey, sorry I missed your text! Busy day! Yes!! You make the arrangements, I will be there! Just
lemme know what day
☺
love ya!

I could feel Caleb looking over at me, watching.

 

“Sorry, I got a text from my friend Courtney. She wanted to set up a girlie day at the spa.” I felt I had to
explain.

 

“You don’t have to explain who you are texting, babe. I just can’t help myself and I start to stare at you,
you are just so damn beautiful.” He had that beautiful smile.