touch (3 page)

My light jacket did little to keep me warm and my fingers
soon felt cold while my cheek grew warmer.  I used my freezing digits to sooth
the ache in my face.  It kept them warm.

At the last school I’d attended, just an hour away, I’d
finished the year as a complete outcast.  I hadn’t liked it, but at least the
bullying there hadn’t escalated past nasty words exchanged in the halls. 
Lightly touching my cheek, I wondered if it would bruise.  My mom would flip if
she found out just how bad things had gotten and would want to move.  Again.

In my life, we’d moved eleven times… seven since I turned
thirteen.  We usually moved at the end of the school year, stayed somewhere for
the summer and moved again before the next school year started.  Every year, a
different school.

According to Belinda’s book, moving often protected us.  From
what?  No idea.  But I was sure that Gran and Aunt Danielle knew.  They
instigated talk of moving.  Their primary argument centered on the fact that
moving meant new boys to meet.  After all, finding ‘the right one’ remained our
priority.  When I made my selection, we’d all be free… until my fatherless
daughter turned twelve.

I wished I could be like other kids at school.  The normal
drama of who dated whom and what so-and-so said to what’s-her-name appealed to
me.  Heck, just having a friend, someone willing to sit with me at lunch, would
be nice.  But did I want that bad enough to move again so soon?

Even if we did move, the chances of finding someone willing
to deal with my weirdness was low.  No, better to stay with the devils I knew. 
If I beat mom home, I could try to hide whatever mark might be on my cheek with
makeup.  Maybe the problem with Brian and Clavin would die down.

Lost in thought, it took me a moment to hear the growing
sound of a car from behind me.  Already on the shoulder, I took another step
away from the road as I turned to look back.  The large faded yellow car from
the student lot approached fast.  I narrowed my eyes, squinting trying to see
the driver.  Squinting hurt my cheek.  Absently, I touched my cool fingers to
it.

The fire in my cheek dulled in comparison to my anger when I
recognized Brian behind the wheel.  His glare and white-knuckled grip on the
wheel had me spinning away and running toward the field.  I almost fell
scrambling over the frozen tilled clumps.  Running through the field wouldn’t
work.  I’d only made it about five feet in.

A large overturned stone lay loose on top the hard ground
near my feet.  I picked it up and faced the road waiting to see what Brian
would do.  The car flew past with Clavin hanging an arm out the passenger
window to flip me off.

I stayed in the frozen field, facing throbbing, watching
them disappear over the next slight rise.  Dread filled me.  The fields gave
way to woods in the direction they’d headed.  The same direction I needed to
go.  The way home.  Did they just drive by to scare me one more time, or did
they have a plan?

The remoteness of the tree-lined road made it a great place
to catch a lone walker.  My eyes lingered on the dense trees stretching more
than a field’s length on either side.  Tops barren, their thick trunks still
afforded protection.

Without any other option, I moved back to the road, jogging
along the shoulder, trying to hurry.  I held onto the rock.  Heavy, about the
size of a hardball, I figured I could try to throw it at the windshield if they
decided to come back before I reached the trees.  Apparently, they weren’t
ready to forgive and forget.

The trees would ensure an even playing field, forcing them
on foot if they really wanted to come after me.  It didn’t take long for my
cold hands to warm up.  Sweat started to dampen the small of my back and
underarms.  My face hurt and without my cool hands to help it, my cheek started
to swell.

When I topped the next rise in the road, I spotted their car
parked on the west side of the road a fair distance after the start of the
trees.  I couldn’t tell if they waited in the car, or if they already hid in
the woods.  I stopped my approach glancing right then left.  Neither side of
the road presented a better option.  Three fields deep on each side before the
nearest tree line.  They’d spot me before I made it very far and easily cut me
off leaving me exposed in the middle of a hard to navigate the field.  They
could probably see me right now, standing on the rise.  If I turned around,
they’d most likely just follow.

My stomach churned.  I hated my life, but not enough to walk
willingly into a fight I’d lose.  They’d already bruised my face.  What would
they do to me next?  I couldn’t imagine it would be an apology.  I eyed the
clouds.  I didn’t have time to stand still and debate my next move.  Dusk stole
closer.  I didn’t see that I had any other option.  They were determined to
confront me again.

Taking a deep breath and gripping my rock, I started the
long walk forward.  The wind blew across the fields playing with my hair and
tickling my ears.  The sweat I’d worked up cooled too quickly.  At least the
chill felt good on my face.

As I approached, I heard the wind rattling through the
barren branches of the approaching trees and the outline of the car’s two
occupants.  I stayed focused on them.

Both car doors creaked as Brian and Clavin opened them and
got out.

I didn’t stop advancing.

About twenty feet away I called, “How much do you like your
car?”

Clavin called back, “How much you like your teeth?”

Well, that made their intent very clear.  I pulled back my
arm and threw the rock at the car’s back window.

My plan?  Throw the rock as a distraction, run past Brian,
who’d presumably freak about his car, and bolt into the trees in the general
direction of home.

Instead, I watched in horror as the rock flew straight at
Clavin.  Despite what they’d done to me, I didn’t want to hurt them in return. 
Clavin saw the rock sailing toward him and tried to dodge.  It clipped his hip
with a deep muffled sound and he folded over yelling in pain.

Brian stood frozen holding his door staring at me in shock
for a moment before running around the car to check his friend.  I returned his
shocked stare with one of my one.  What had I just done?!  I’d created the
distraction I needed.

Shedding the brief paralysis, I sprinted across the road
opposite their car into the trees.  If they caught me…  I cringed at the
thought and ran faster dodging around trees to move steadily deeper into their
cover.  Through my fear, I focused to maintain a sense of direction instead of
running blindly.  The cloud filled sky made it difficult.

Too soon, I had to stop because of a stitch in my side and
the ache in my face.  Bent over near a clump of bramble gasping for air, I
tried to listen for pursuit.  Their voices echoed distantly from the direction
I’d run as they yelled to each other.  I couldn’t see them.

Shaking with adrenaline and dread, I wanted to cry.  Walking
softly over the leaf-strewn ground, I snuck from tree to tree making my way
back toward the road where the trees thinned.  After a few moments of quiet
movement, their yelling stopped.  I counted on them thinking I’d head straight
toward my house and keep heading in that direction.

By the time I reached the road, I could breathe
semi-normally.  The wind swept over me through the thinning trees.  The dry
rough bark of one of the trees lining the road bit into my palms as I leaned
against it to risk a look.  In the distance, their car still sat on the shoulder
just north of my position.  At least I’d passed it.

Sprinting across the road in an attempt to minimize my time
in the open I leapt back into the cover of the trees on the other side and
tripped on a dead broken branch half covered by fallen leaves.  Going down
hard, I skinned the palm of my right hand.

Immediately scrambling to a crouch, I held my breath and
listened again.  Nothing.  Not necessarily a good sign.  They could be
anywhere.  Moving quietly, I made my way further into the trees and started following
the general direction of the road.  I had no idea how much time elapsed, but
the fading light spurred me on.

Tired and sore, I jogged when I could and walked when I
couldn’t, making slow progress.  Several times, in the distance, I heard a car
on the road and quickly dropped to the ground.  I wasn’t sure how far in they’d
be able to see driving past, but didn’t want to take a chance.

After a while, the long shadows in the trees forced me to
the road, which proved fortunate.  I recognized my surroundings, the familiar
bend in the road.  So close to home.

I wanted to laugh, but a vibrant orange streaked the sky
announcing the sun’s final rays.  Out of time.  Fear, instilled with every
lecture from my mother, grandmother and aunts, had me sprinting over the
blacktop and then down the treacherous gravel driveway.

My house waited ahead, shutters already drawn.  The front
door stood open, light filling it from inside.  I wheezed for air, but didn’t
slow.

Behind me, I caught the cadence of running feet harshly
hitting the crushed gravel.  Another spike of adrenaline filled me.  Even this
close to home, within sight of my family, I didn’t trust Brian or Clavin to
leave me alone.  I just hoped it wasn’t Brian behind me.  Clavin, heavier and
less fit then Brian, meant I’d have a chance.

My mother stood in the door shouting for me to hurry her
arms outstretched to catch me.  The worry on her face had me turning my head to
look behind me while my legs still ate the distance between me and the house. 
My eyes widened and I cried out for the second time that afternoon.

A dark creature with glowing green eyes and horns galloped
on two hooved feet behind me.  More shadow than reality, I couldn’t process
what chased me.

My mom’s voice called my attention back to her.  I quickly
turned forward again focusing on her instead of the thing behind me.  I
sprinted up the steps and through the open door falling to my knees just
inside.  The door thumped closed behind me before the creature hit the steps.

I never got off my knees before I felt the first light touch
on my skin.

“No,” I tried to whisper.  I needed to know what waited
outside our door.  I wanted just a moment before they forced me to sleep.  Too
bad, I never seemed to get what I wanted.

When I woke, weak morning light filtered in through my
curtains.  Lying comfortably in my bed, it took a moment for me to remember
everything from the day before.

The house seemed too quiet given my crazy return the prior evening. 
I turned to look at the clock and my cheek brushed the pillow causing me to
wince.  Not a good sign.  I clenched my teeth against the pain and then
regretted it.  Even my teeth hurt.  The clock displayed seven as usual, but no
toast bearer.  Did that mean no school?

With the way my face hurt, it wouldn’t bother me a bit to
stay home.  I struggled to concentrate on anything beyond the throbbing pulse
in my cheek.  In addition to the pain, I didn’t particularly want to encounter
either Brian or Clavin so soon.  If they’d hated me because of what I’d said at
school, they’d really have it in for me after throwing that rock.

Warm under the blankets piled on my bed, I considered
closing my eyes and going back to sleep.  But I didn’t.  Not after sleeping
almost fourteen hours.  I’d tapped the desire to sleep.

Facing the inevitable, I pulled back the covers and sat up. 
My head thumped painfully.  Gently, I touched my cheek.  The skin felt hot,
tight and very puffy.  Maybe I had broken something other than the door.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood.  My legs
ached from all the running the day before.

Moving gingerly, I made my way to the bathroom.  The bright
fluorescent light caused me to squint, which hurt.  Quickly turning the light
off again, I scowled at the mirror.  A big purple-black bruise covered my right
cheekbone and partially surrounded my eye.  No wonder my face hurt.  I hoped
I’d bruised Clavin’s hip.  Jerks.

Still wearing the same dirt cake clothes from my time in the
woods, even the socks, I knew I’d need a good scrub.  Well, at least anywhere
that didn’t hurt.  I took inventory.  The scrape on my hand appeared clean,
probably by my mom.  Dirt streaked my face along with the bruise.  The muscles
in my legs ached just standing there.  Okay, a quick rinse then.

I hurried through my shower, cringing when the water hit my
face, palm or scrapped knuckles, while wondering about the unusually quiet
house.  Typically, we all rushed to get me out the door on time in the
morning.  Dried, dressed, and brushed, I made my way to the kitchen, my stomach
rumbling.

Morning light poured through the kitchen windows
illuminating the group that sat around the table.  Everyone, except Aunt
Danielle, quietly watched my approach.  My step slowed at the strange sight. 
Gran looked sad and slightly worried while my mom and Aunt Grace looked upset. 
I opened my mouth to ask what was going on, but my mom cut me off.

“We’ve read Belinda’s book to you since you were born.  You
know the rules.  Home before dark.  Perform the ritual.  Sleep,” she said with
censure.  “What you did last night is unforgivable.”

My mouth hung open in shock and I snapped it shut angrily,
hurting myself and fueling my temper further.

“I can’t believe you think I did that on purpose!  Do you
not see my face?”  I waved at my vividly colored cheek in emphasis.  “I was
locked in a supply closet, missed the bus, and then had to run home through the
woods to avoid the same assholes that did this.”

I was so mad I actually swore in front of my mother for the
first time.  She didn’t seem to notice.

“Why after three and a half years of following the rules
would you think I’d first now decide to rebel against the way I’ve been told -
since I was born! – the way my life will be?  Thanks for the trust and sympathy
mom.”