Towards a Dark Horizon (11 page)

‘Of course I will. Now away you both go and enjoy yourselves at the dance.’

I watched as they both got into the car and with a quick wave they were gone. Meanwhile Lily was still jumping up and down with excitement.

‘Can I have a braw frock like that when I grow up, Ann?’

I smiled at her childish delight. ‘Of course you can but let’s get out of this awful wet night.’

For some reason I didn’t immediately follow her up the stairs but remained standing on the pavement, watching the rear lights of the car as it disappeared down the hill. I glanced across the road and got another surprise. Standing in the darkness across from me was Danny. Although his face was in the shadows I noticed his bright red hair. I called to him but he didn’t come over. I called again, ‘Danny, is that you?’

There was no reply. Right, I thought, I’m going over and I’m going to pull him out of his hiding place. As I set off across the street, a crowd of men emerged from the pub opposite. They were either full of beer or high spirits or maybe both because they strung out in a long snake-like line, singing and dancing. I stood back to let them pass and, by the time I reached the other side, there was no sign of Danny.

I was angry and frustrated with him. Then a thought struck me. Had he seen Maddie with another man? It all depended on how long he had been in those shadows. Damn, damn, damn him, I thought. Then I realised I was standing in the wet drizzle with no coat on and my dress was soaked. I ran back towards the house. Lily was putting her polish and duster away and I was aware of a fainter, more expensive perfume – obviously Maddie’s.

Lily didn’t mention Danny so, thankfully, she hadn’t seen him. In fact, if I hadn’t lingered to see the car go away, then I wouldn’t have seen him either. Had he been on his way to see us or merely passing? Was he on his way to see another girl and that was the reason he had ignored my call? I was getting in a tizzy over this and I still had the wet frock clinging to my body.

‘Let’s get ready to go to the Overgate, Lily,’ I said, pulling the wet garment over my head.

I had bought Lily a lovely woollen dress to wear for tonight but it wasn’t in the same class as Maddie’s blue satin one. As she put it on, she sighed. ‘I really like this frock, Ann, but it’s no’ like yon bonny blue frock that Maddie was wearing.’

‘I know, Lily, but a blue satin frock wouldn’t keep you warm, would it? I mean it’s fine for a dance but you couldn’t wear it to the school.’

‘No I suppose not.’

Although I had my nest egg, I was wary about using money from it too often. Lily had a good many years ahead of her and I would need every penny of it to keep her clothed and shod. My dress was quite old but it was still in good condition. It was a deep chocolate-brown colour and very plain. I looked like Cinderella compared to Maddie in her beautiful creation but it was good to see her again. Did her young companion think we were uncouth people? Then I remembered his shy smile and I thought not.

I couldn’t get Danny out of my mind. What was he doing skulking across the road and then fleeing like some dispossessed refugee when approached? I also hoped Dad wouldn’t drink too much tonight. He had certainly started early enough but I also hoped he would be with Rosie.

Lily arrived in the bedroom. She was ready to go and she even had her coat buttoned up to her neck. As we were leaving she said, ‘Why is Maddie with somebody else and not with Danny?’

Why indeed. ‘She’s just going to a dance with Colin. You heard her – he works with her dad in his office.’

‘Does Danny not mind?’

‘Well, Maddie and Danny have agreed to wait until her exams are over before they make any plans, Lily.’ I hoped this would satisfy her and keep her quiet on this thorny subject.

‘Does that mean I’ll not be a flower girl at the wedding?’

‘Och, I don’t know, Lily. Better wait till you’re asked.’ If I sounded harsh, she didn’t say but she didn’t mention the matter again and we set off towards Granny’s house.

People had started to congregate around the City Square and all the barrows were in place. They had a huge selection of fancy hats, hooters and calendars piled high on each barrow. There was also a large amount of dressed herrings – poor wee fish dressed in crêpe paper coverings similar to frilly dresses.

Lily’s eyes were like saucers. ‘Can I buy something, Ann? Please?’

‘What do you want?’

She inspected the entire contents of every barrow before making up her mind. As I waited, I recalled the one and only time I had brought in the New Year in the Square. It had been the Hogmanay after Mum’s death and I had been with Maddie and Danny. How long ago it seemed.

Lily had decided on her purchase. ‘Can I have a hat, please?’ She chose a garish-yellow hat with a motto pinned to its brim.

‘Take a calendar for Granny and something for Grandad.’

She chose a calendar with a cute-looking Scottie dog and a dressed herring.

When we reached the house I was dismayed to see Bella sitting with Granny. There was no sign of Grandad.

I had made up my mind to keep quiet about Maddie’s visit, at least for the time being, and the sight of the gossip-loving Bella reinforced this – but I hadn’t reckoned on Lily.

The minute our coats were off, she launched into the story of the evening dress. ‘Och, Granny, you should have seen it – it was lovely. I’m getting one like it when I grow up.’ She looked at me. ‘Ann says so.’

Before I could answer, Bella butted in. ‘So she’s shown her face at last, has she? Snobby wee besom turning our Danny down like that.’ She looked at Lily. ‘What else happened?’

Being a child, Lily was full of the event. She gladly chattered on. ‘She was with a man called Colin who works in her dad’s office and they’re going to a ball in the Queen’s Hotel. They came in a car and we went down the stair to say cheerio to them because they didn’t want to be late for the ball.’ She finally stopped and beamed at us.

‘You’re quite the wee parrot, aren’t you?’ said Bella, snapping at her, which annoyed me because she had asked for the details from her.

Lily went quiet and went to sit in the corner by the fire with her book. I was mad at Bella for taking all the pleasure of Maddie’s visit away from Lily. What right did this crabbit old woman have to chastise a child? Because of my anger I was frightened to say anything in case I went too far. Instead I asked Granny, ‘Where’s Grandad?’

She was setting the table with a plate of shortbread and sultana cake. Getting ready for the crowd of first-footers who would come streaming through the door after midnight.

‘He’s gone to the pub down the road with some of his cronies. He hardly goes to the pub these days because he doesn’t like the cigarette smoke. It makes him cough for days after.’

I was glad he was out with his old pals and I just wished that Granny could also have a break but Bella never once offered to do anything. It was the same on all her visits. She commandeered the best chair then did nothing but complain and criticise.

I noticed the house had been cleaned in preparation for the New Year and I thought Granny looked tired. Still, it was difficult to tell with her. We had all relied on her strength over the years and I hoped she wasn’t doing too much.

Lily was still sitting very quietly. I went over and noticed she was silently crying. I knelt down and put my arms around her. This made her sobs vocal.

Granny came over and asked, ‘What’s the matter, my wee pet? What’s wrong with you?’

She continued to cry but said nothing.

I said, ‘Tell us what’s wrong, Lily. We can’t help you if you don’t say a word, can we?’

Before she could answer, Bella snapped, ‘For heaven’s sake, stop fussing over her. It’s aye the same – “Lily what’s wrong?” or “Lily what’s the matter?” Just let her cry if she wants to. That’s my advice.’

I spoke without thinking and I was angry. ‘Well, Bella, we don’t need your advice. It’s Granny and me who are bringing up Lily and I don’t see you helping very much.’

Bella seemed outraged by my tirade. To tell the truth, I hadn’t meant to be so harsh with my words. Bella glared at me and said huffily, ‘Well, it’ll be a different matter when you’re married to your young man – who’ll look after her then, tell me that?’

Lily burst into a fresh bout of tears and clung to me.

I was annoyed by Bella’s outburst but she was well known in the family for coming out with the wrong thing at the wrong time.

Before I could answer, she snapped, ‘I just told your sister that she’ll have to go into a home when you get married. You can’t expect your granny to work her fingers to the bone for the two of you.’ She sat back in her chair, well pleased with herself.

I looked at Granny and we both realised at that moment the reason for Lily’s insecurity. It was this stupid woman’s remarks.

Granny’s face was white and I knew she was beside herself with anger. She marched straight up to Bella. ‘How dare you speak like that to a wee lassie? Especially when it’s none of your ruddy business. You’ve aye had a selfish streak Bella and, if the world is not revolving around you, you don’t like it.’

Bella stood up. ‘I’m not putting up with this. I’m leaving.’ But she stood still as if hoping Granny would persuade her to stay.

Instead, Granny said, ‘Right, Bella, I’ll get your coat.’

As Granny went into the lobby, I comforted Lily. ‘Now listen to me. Bella had no right to tell you all that nonsense, Lily. I’m not getting married to Greg – at least not just yet – and I’ll aye be here for you. Do you understand that?’ She nodded and I continued, ‘I’ll be here until you’re grown up and then it’ll be your turn to leave me.’

Her grip tightened around my neck and she put her wet face against mine. ‘Och, Ann, I’ll never leave you – never!’

I said, ‘Well, then, that’s settled – we’ll never leave one another.’

She gave me a watery smile.

Meanwhile Bella was still on her high horse. She was either waiting for her coat or an apology. Granny appeared with the coat. She stomped out of the house in high dudgeon, vowing never to darken the door again.

After her departure, the room became quiet. Granny went over to the table and returned with a plate of shortbread and cake. She then brought over the bottle of sherry and two small glasses. ‘Speak about families at war. Now I know where Hattie gets her nature from.’ She looked at Lily. ‘Go and get your bottle of cordial, wee lass.’

Lily ran to the cupboard and came back with her blackcurrant cordial and a tumbler. Granny filled the sherry glasses and passed the plate around. ‘Let’s bring in the New Year early, Lily. I feel I need this sherry to calm me down. What a year it’s been! Nothing but trouble but let’s hope next year is better.’

We raised our glasses to that. I planned to tell her about my sighting of Danny but that could wait. So we sat in companionable silence and sipped our drinks. Lily’s face was still tearstained and she looked so solemn. I gave her a huge wink and she burst into peals of laughter.

‘Away and wash your face, Lily,’ said Granny. ‘We don’t want you looking like that when the bells ring, do we?’

Lily went over to the sink by the window.

‘And another thing, we want to hear you laugh more and you’ve not to listen to folk like Bella ever again.’

‘Granny’s right, Lily, and, if I’m ever a wee bit late at the school gate, you’ve to stay where you are or go home with Janie if you’re asked.’

She nodded happily. All her little dark clouds now vanished. I just wished she had told me earlier about her worries.

A sudden noise erupted from the street. There was the sound of people’s voices and the rasping sound from hundreds of hooters. It was midnight.

‘Happy New Year to you both,’ said Granny. ‘We’re now into 1937.’

There was a knock on the door. Granny smoothed her hair and removed her apron. She then went to welcome her first-foot.

To her utter amazement it was Bella.

‘I’ve come to say sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it, Nan.’

Granny hugged her. ‘Come away in, you daft beggar.’

Bella looked contrite when she came into the room.

Granny said, ‘Bella has come to say sorry to us and I think we should accept her apologies. What do you say, Lily?’

Lily was confused by being in this sudden spotlight. She glanced at me but Bella said, ‘I should never have said what I said and I’m sorry.’

It was then that I suddenly saw her for what she was – a sad, lonely old woman and, although I was still annoyed by all the worry she had put Lily through, her apology had to be a first in that we could ever recall. There was hope for her yet.

I spoke for both of us. ‘Thank you, Bella, we both accept your apology but it’s not to happen again. I’m not planning on leaving

– either now or in the future – and Lily knows this.’

Bella fell into her chair and Granny offered her some shortbread and a sherry. Then a loud knock on the door startled us.

‘Oh my God!’ said Granny. ‘What a racket!’

It was Dad and Grandad with a crowd of their pals. I noticed Joe amongst them and I hoped he wouldn’t go on about Germany. He made a beeline for Bella. Birds of a feather, I thought, but they both seemed to enjoy each other’s company. Bella could rabbit on about her bad health while Joe gave his dire prophecies of another war.

I then noticed that Dad wasn’t with Rosie and my heart fell. I had hoped he would take her out this Hogmanay and I even harboured notions that he might propose to her at this time. After all, it was a favourite time for marriages and announcements of betrothals.

Rosie and her mother Alice soon put in an appearance from next door and, although Dad spoke to them both, he didn’t leave the company of his friends.

Rosie moved over to my side and my heart sank even further when I saw how she was dressed. I knew my wardrobe was hardly Coco Chanel but Rosie didn’t seem to have the knack of wearing anything that matched. She looked like an overstuffed sofa. Her shapeless green dress was covered by an equally shapeless brown cardigan. She wore thick lisle stockings and her shoes could only be described as sturdy and sensible. Her hair was tied back in a large bun at the nape of her neck and, as usual, strands kept escaping from the thick net. The sad thing was that she was quite a good-looking woman but not when she looked like this. She gave me such a lovely smile and I felt so sad.