Toxic (14 page)

“Was going to see Dawson yesterday a way to keep you away from Jeremy? Because I have to be honest—it’s not fair to Dawson.”

I wrapped up the rest of my burger and shoved it back in the box. “No, that’s just stupid.”

He gulped all of his lemonade. “I don’t think it is.”

“I went to see Dawson because I owed it to him.”

“That’s what I mean. You don’t owe him anything. The best thing you can do for him is to stay away from him.”

I sighed and bit my cookie. “I know.”

“Good. Now that’s settled. Are you going to give Jeremy a chance?”

“I don’t even know if that’s an option. But if it is, I can’t lose myself in him again. I have to get TSC back on its feet.”

“You can have a life and work, you know.”

I sighed again. “What else did he say?”

Jamie tossed all his wrappers in the box and set it beside him. “We talked mostly about Jet Set and how he accomplished what he had in such a short period of time.”

I was curious. “How did he?”

“You know it’s funny but what you had told me about him made perfect sense. He never wanted to be around people like us until he realized we might just benefit him.”

“That doesn’t sound very nice.”

Jamie shrugged. “Business, Phoebs. We all make compromises. Anyway, he said one day it occurred to him that it was the people he had stayed away from who would pay anything for almost anything. The harder it is to obtain, the more they’d pay, is what he said.”

“He isn’t wrong.”

“Isn’t that the truth? So anyway, he told me he was in Miami, and found it wasn’t much different from New York when it came to spending money. He decided to open a club where access had privileges only membership could buy.”

I was only half listening to Jamie as my brain was working faster and faster. If Jeremy had been successful with exclusive access clubs at street level, what would happen if those exclusive access clubs . . .

I jumped up. “I have to go. I have an idea.” I kissed him good-bye and started walking. “I’ll call you later.”

“What the hell, Phoebs? I was still talking.”

“You’re brilliant,” I called back.

“I’ll clean up.” I could hear his laughter.

“I love you,” I yelled.

I cursed the high heels I’d worn that prevented me from walking faster back to my office. I was going to meet Jeremy that night all right, just not for the reason he thought—or at least that’s what I told myself.

My phone rang as I hurried out of the park and I smiled. “Lily, I was going to call you. Sorry I bailed last night.”

“That’s why I’m calling. Preston and I are on our way to Paris for Fashion Week.”

“Preston? He called you? Tell me everything.”

“Actually, I called him. After you left I was talking to Avery and she told me Preston was doing terrible without me.”

Avery and Preston were cousins through the Von Furstenberg side so it made sense that Avery would know this.

I stopped at a light. “And?”

“When I called him he told me to come with him and I said yes.”

“Did you talk about your issues?”

“No, we’ll do that while we’re gone.”

The light turned and I started walking. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Come on, St. Claire, not everything has to be cleared up to be with the one you love. We’ll talk about things as they unfold. But I have to hurry. I have to pack and meet him at JFK in two hours.”

The person in front of me came to an abrupt stop and I practically ran into him. “How long will you be gone?”

“That’s up in the air.”

I was almost to the Saint and started to walk faster. “Well, have fun, I’ll miss you. Send me pics and don’t forget to call.”

“I will. Oh and Phoebe, one more thing.”

“What?” I asked as I entered the lobby.

“She’s after Jeremy.”

“Who?”

“Avery. She wants him. I was able to talk Emmy down but there was no talking Avery down. She wants him.”

“What did you say to her?”

“Nothing. She did all the talking.”

“Well, he’s free to make his own decisions. And I’m not even sure he’s interested in me and more important, I’m not sure I’m interested in him.”

She scoffed. She actually scoffed. “For once in your adult life, follow your heart, St. Claire. I have to go.”

Tears sprang to my eyes. “Go, Lily, go to your Romeo.”

“I love you,” she said just before she hung up.

I hope you get your happy ending,
I thought as I dropped into a seat in the lobby of my hotel alone.

A Date

By the time eight o’clock rolled around, I didn’t know which I was more nervous about—seeing him, talking to him, or wondering if he would even show up.

I started down to the bar in plenty of time. I stopped at the restroom to check myself in the mirror and then made my way through the lobby, where I was unexpectedly detained. The desk manager stopped me to ask a question and it was eight oh six before I actually walked through the entrance to the bar.

The Saint’s bar was the same in each hotel location. It was my grandfather’s vision and he designed the bars to his specifications. He also loved whiskey; therefore, he made sure to make whiskey the draw. Guests at the Saint could choose from one of the most complete selections of whiskey anywhere in the city they were in. They could count on that.

The thirty-five-foot-long mahogany bar was solidly constructed with beautiful leather panels in the front and was backlit. The structure served as the room’s focal point. High-top tables extended the bar experience, while the clusters of casual lounge seating were perfect for unwinding with large groups of friends. It was edgy, comfortable, and as I looked around for Jeremy through the few patrons scattered around the beautiful space, I determined, it was no longer a draw.

I also determined Jeremy wasn’t there.

My nerves were frayed as I frantically scanned the room for his leather jacket and didn’t see it in the vast emptiness that surrounded me.

I stood motionless, no, I stood there crushed.

Soon my eyes landed on a white shirt at the bar.

It was him.

Him.

It was his muss of sandy hair, messy but gorgeous, that gave him away.

My heart beat frantically.

Running into him was one thing, but meeting him, on purpose, was something completely different.

And he showed up. He was there.

I slowly started to walk toward him. My knees were weak and with each step I took, an ache began to build between my thighs. I noticed him look down at his watch and then he turned to look around. I was about ten feet away from him when he did.

He was nervous that I wasn’t going to show.

His eyes met mine, and I could see the fire in them. It was a reflection of my own burning desire.

Suddenly, I was breathless and I had to slow my pace to find my footing.

His gaze drifted from my eyes to my breasts, and my nipples tightened from just the look he was giving me.

I knew then I was in trouble.

He was trouble.

“Hi,” he mouthed.

“Hi,” I mouthed back.

His blue eyes twinkled as he stood up to greet me. “Wow. Just wow.”

I smiled at him.

“You look amazing,” he added in a low, controlled tone.

I was not so controlled. I was secretly jumping for joy. I had taken more time to get ready this morning than I had for anything in a very long time. I didn’t want to admit it, but I wanted to look especially nice for him.

“Thank you.” I felt my cheeks start to burn and I willed the blush away.

His gaze roamed over my face. “I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

Self-conscious, I averted my stare and nodded a hello to the bartender. He was gawking at me too, probably from the fact that I was obviously nervous—I was usually so collected at work.

Jeremy didn’t kiss me hello, he didn’t shake my hand, but he did look at me with a yearning that made that ache that was already building between my legs almost painful. “Do you want to grab a drink here before we go to dinner?” he asked.

I looked at his half-empty glass of whiskey and wondered how long he’d been here. He seemed more nervous than I’d ever seen him and I reveled in the fact that he felt the same way I did. “Finish yours and we’ll go.”

He twisted to push his glass aside. “I’m good.”

Relaxing slightly, I leaned a hip against the stool beside his. “No, don’t waste it. I can wait.”

Jeremy glanced around. “Not exactly hopping in here, is it?”

Somehow, this didn’t deflate me. “In my grandfather’s day, the whiskey bar was a sought-out commodity.”

He leaned very, very, very close. “That wasn’t meant to be an insult. It’s just I’m in clubs every night and I know the amount of money spent to keep them up and running. I can’t imagine even selling the high-priced liquor helps cover costs.”

“I didn’t take it that way at all,” I said, nonplussed.

Pure desire—that’s what was racing through my mind as he was talking to me about the very thing I most wanted to talk to him about. Not insults, or criticisms, or even suggestions for improvement. Although, I did hope those would come if we talked business.

Jeremy studied me. “Are you okay?”

Dazed, I pushed away from the stool. “I’m fine. Let’s go eat. I’m starving.”

Staying at work and continuing to unravel in his presence was not something I wanted to do.

He looked at me with those intense blue eyes and that soft smirking expression before placing some money on the bar. Then he casually took my hand. I tried not to read anything into it. He had done it the night before as well and never even tried to kiss me good night. A fleeting thought entered my mind—what if he was truly interested in Avery? I pushed it away. It wasn’t my business.

I had no idea what we were, other than former lovers reunited in what might possibly be a business venture if he said yes to the offer I was about to make him.

Oblivious to what I had in mind, Jeremy tugged his leather jacket on. Then he took my cape from my arm and slipped it around my shoulders. I didn’t turn, and when his hard, lean body pressed against mine, my breath caught, and his did as well.

“Ready?” His voice was ragged and it was so sexy.

I nodded, not quite ready to speak until all of my senses had recovered from the sensual contact.

He moved with confidence, a man who knew what he was doing. He led me out of the bar, through the lobby, and out onto the streets of New York City. I assumed he had valeted his car, but when he walked past the valet stand and headed to the corner, I then wondered what he was doing.

Soon I knew.

But then, contemplation seemed to stall his feet. Jeremy had dropped his hold on me and stopped at the top of the subway station, looking down at my high heels as if assessing their ability to withstand the stairs.

I laughed. “I can walk down these stairs.”

“Maybe that’s not what I was thinking about when I glanced at them.” He grinned.

My pulse raced as I considered what else he might have been thinking about.

When he raised a brow, I knew what it was. A long time ago, when we were together, we’d had a conversation about the possibility of me wearing
fuck-me heels
during . . .

Oh God.

Jeremy cleared his throat and the sound pulled me from my lustful thoughts. With flushed cheeks, I blinked away the memories and slowly glanced up to see his handsome face. “Have you ever ridden on the subway?” he asked, perhaps a bit cautiously.

“Yes,” I answered indignantly.

“Oh yeah, when was the last time?” he challenged.

I pursed my lips together. “I think I was eight and my girlfriend’s grandma took us to Queens.”

He laughed—loudly—and pointed his finger at me. “I knew it.”

People were rushing to get by us and when someone pushed past me from behind, Jeremy reached to steady me and never let go.

Unconsciously, I found myself stopping and staring up into his blue eyes.

Registering that he had my full attention, Jeremy traced my face. “You look the same, you know. Your hair is different. But you still look the same.”

“So do you,” I said breathlessly.

His mouth was so close; I thought he might kiss me in that moment.

I wanted him to.

Instead though, he pulled away and pointed to the subway. “I hope you don’t mind, but this really is the fastest way to get to where we are going this time of night.”

With tension coiling in my belly, I tried to act nonplussed. “I don’t mind at all. I’m just surprised you didn’t drive.”

“To be honest, I wanted to be able to drink if I had to.”

I raised a brow.

“If you didn’t show, I was going to have to get shitfaced.”

Hiding my smile, I responded poignantly, “But you said you knew I would show.”

He looked down and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, about that. I might have been a little overconfident.”

I liked seeing him raw. It made everything between us feel more real.

Feeling triumphant, I felt I should even the playing field. “Sorry I was late. Someone stopped me on the way.”

“It’s fine. Hey, if you’d rather take a taxi, I’m cool with that.”

“No, the subway will be fun. Where are we going?”

He took my hand and led me down the stairs. “A restaurant I’m thinking about adding to Jet Set’s portfolio.”

“I didn’t know Jet Set membership included restaurants.”

He didn’t stop to purchase a metro card. “It doesn’t yet, but my business plan includes varying phases of horizontal integration.”

This intrigued me. “Integration into what types of businesses?”

Jeremy abruptly halted before the turnstile.

Luckily, I didn’t plow into him.

Indicating with a bob of his head I should walk through it, he swiped his card for me. “Anything in the entertainment field.”

I could feel his stare on me when I passed through. “Anything?” I asked.

As he swiped his card again, I watched the way the metal bar pushed against his hip bones. He caught me staring.

I didn’t care.

With a smirk, he repeated, “Anything.”

“Like wax museums, baseball teams, and racetracks?” I asked curiously.

He smirked. “I’ll pass on Madame Tussauds but I certainly wouldn’t pass up either of the other two. I was thinking more like burlesques clubs, small private charters, even hotels.”

“Hotels?”

“Sure, why not?”

Interesting.

We stood on the platform and he pushed my hair away from my face as a train whizzed by in the opposite direction. “You’re still the same,” he whispered.

“You already told me that.”

“No, I mean who you are. You haven’t changed.”

My stomach knotted as he tried to figure out if the girl he knew so long ago was real or made up. I had heard it in his voice when we’d spoken a few times and just then, I knew for certain, it was what he was thinking. I took his hand before I spoke. “Jeremy, that girl you spent the summer with, she was me. The only thing that wasn’t real was my last name. The things we talked about were all true. I did go to an all-girls school, I did live in the city, and my parents were overprotective. My dreams for the future were real. I was real.” I squeezed his hand. “And what I felt for you was real.”

The train came screeching to a halt and people pushed and shoved to board. We stayed where we were. Neither one of us moved. He stepped closer. “That summer, when your friend overheard me asking the guy who owned the house where you were, she told me I had your name wrong and then clarified what she thought I had mixed up. The thing was, I had talked about your father and you never said anything. I knew there wasn’t any mix-up. And I couldn’t help but assume everything you had told me was a lie.”

“My friend?”

“Yeah, the super-skinny one with the long blond hair. I went looking for you the morning after our fight and she happened to come outside. A driver was loading her bags in a town car and she was waiting for him to finish.”

I took a deep breath. Emmy. That was why she left so quickly from the Gala last night, she’d figured it out. But she wasn’t the issue. I was. Me and my lies. “I did lie about something else.”

Jeremy’s body tensed.

“My friends and I weren’t fixing up the house. The man who owned it was my father’s business associate and he had agreed to rent it to us for the summer while he made repairs.”

Remorse swallowed us both whole. Jeremy’s forehead fell to mine and he stayed quiet for the longest time. “We’ve both done things we’re not proud of, but the other night when we agreed to leave the past in the past, I was willing to do that. I know you don’t remember that conversation, but if you think you can do that, I’d like to see what comes next.”

Next?

My body started to tremble. I wanted to kiss him, but we were nowhere near ready for that. With my forehead still against his, I closed my eyes. “I would really like to do that. In fact, I have a proposition for you.”

Another train pulled into the station. Jeremy looked at me with a devilish grin and laughed. Free and easy.

I loved the sound.

He took my hand and pulled me toward the subway car. “Come on. This I’m dying to hear.”

I followed quickly and we stepped on board. There was no place to sit, so Jeremy took my hand in his and I gripped the horizontal bar. The doors closed and once we were both secure, he tilted his head to the side. “So tell me about this proposition of yours.”

Sex oozed from his tone and arousal shot through my body. I wanted him. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted anyone in my life. If we had been anywhere else at that moment, anywhere with a hint of privacy, I would have thrown myself at him. That’s how much I wanted him.

“Wipe that smirk off your face first. This is about business, not pleasure,” I chided.

“Damn,” he mouthed and even mouthing the word, it was hot.

The train started to slow and my footing faltered. Jeremy’s tight grip on me saved me from falling onto an older woman’s lap. He took the opportunity to pull me closer, and I had to tip my chin to talk to him. He was always tall but he seemed taller. I was five eight and in my four-inch heels that made me six feet. He had to be six two. “Can I be honest with you?”

Jeremy’s hand slid slightly from my waist and rested partially on my derriere. “I hope moving forward that’s all you’ll ever be.”

The train stopped and the woman I was standing near stood and took her bag, which had occupied the seat beside her.

Jeremy nodded his head in the direction of the empty seats. I sat down and he sat beside me. We were no longer touching, which was good because what I had to say was really hard for me to talk about and I didn’t need the distraction of what his touch did to me.