Toxicity (45 page)

“Heavy shit,” said Svool,
nodding.

“Like you’d ever understand,
poet.”

They followed dank, low-roofed
tunnels for hours. At one point, Svool touched the damp wall and then sniffed
his fingers, frowning. “Zoot?”

“Yes, boss?”

“What’s this? Can you give me an
analysis?”

Zoot blipped and blopped, several
blue lights flickered in his casing, and then he said, “That would be
lirridium.”

“Seeping through the walls?”

“It would appear that way.”

“Is that dangerous?”

“Most certainly so.”

“A chance of it exploding?”

“There is that distinct
possibility.”

“So the tunnels would flood with
lirridium?”

“Yep.”

“And we’d all die and bubble away
into a melt-pot of organic smush?”

“I think that would be the end
result.”

“Shall we speed up?”

“I’d recommend that.”

“Now.”

“Most certainly!”

They accelerated their pace, and
as the path started to climb, a tiny flame of hope sprang into their hearts.
But just as the tunnel reached a high point, they breached a rise, the walls
closed in, and they plummeted back down into the depths of the mountain.

Once again they emerged onto a
platform overlooking a mammoth lirridium lake. It shimmered softly in the light
of the metal horse headlights, and filled them with a slow-growing terror. If
all these billions of gallons of lirridium were to ignite... it’d be a fast
game aver. And a hot one.

Lumar padded up beside Svool and
leaned close, her breath sweet, her scent suddenly making Svool snap round and
stare into her deep green eyes. He smiled, but she said, “We’re being watched.”

“By who?”

“I don’t know, dickhead.”

Svool’s ardour wavered, but he
frowned, and looked into her eyes only inches from his own, and said, “This
trip has really brought us together, hasn’t it, Lu?” He saw her frown, tongue
flickering, and hurriedly said, “What I mean is, I know you think I was pretty
horrible to you back on
The Literati.
You think I’m a spoilt
rich-but-talented bastard who always gets his own way; and I suppose I am and I
did. Although it has to be said, my poetry was rather grand and I
was
welcomed
as a genius in all four corners of the Quad-Galaxy...”

“Get to the point.”

“Well, our feet really haven’t
touched the ground since we landed here, have they? It’s been a mad, bad dash,
an adventure of insane proportions. And now we’re here, stuck in an underground
mine or whatever it is, and I have to say - I notice you. I notice the way you
move, the way you turn your head, the way you hold your body; I notice the sway
of your hips when you walk - and what a fabulous sight that is to behold! I
notice the shine in your eyes and the smile on your lips, the cute little
flicker of your tongue and the way you twitch your little finger when you’re
thinking. I admire your bravery and your strength, and the fact that you never
back down, no matter how big or tough the enemy seems to be.” He stopped, and
looked at her, embarrassed. Then he gave a little cough and realised it was
probably better to be silent than to continue on his present course.

“So, you’re perving on me?”

“No! I’m not perving on you. I’m
trying to say...”

“Yes?” It was a wide, friendly
smile, and Svool looked into her eyes, then quickly looked away.

“Er. I’m trying to say I... like
you.”

“I knew that. I suffered
hours
with your tongue down my ear back on the ship.”

“No, no! I like you
as you,
as
a person, as a beautiful person...”

“Is this going to take all day?”
hissed Zoot. “Only there’s somebody watching us.”

“I know,” said Lumar, rolling her
eyes. “I’ve been trying to tell lover-boy here.”

“Is he still trying to spit out
his undying love for you?”

“Yeah, it looks that way.”

“Hey!” snapped Svool. “I am
bloody stood here, you know? I can hear everything you’re saying.”

“We know.” Lumar grinned. “Look.
Important things first. There’s a far off ledge -
no don’t look -
with a
sort of cave on top of it. Huddled towards the back of the cave there’s a
person. At least, I think it’s a person.”

“Scans human to me,” said Zoot.

“I suggest we keep on moving;
maybe they’re hiding...”

“Maybe it’s a spy!” said Svool,
eyes wide.

“Or a monster!” said Lumar, her
own eyes widening.

“Now you’re taking the piss.”

“You’re giving it away,” said
Lumar, smiling to take the sting out of her words. “We need to move on, Svool.
There are more pressing matters at hand than your urgent need to get your end
away.”

“What?
What?”

“Your urges, you know, like back
on
The Literati.”

“Give me some
credit!”
he
snapped.

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Yeah, why would I give you some
credit? A man is defined by his actions. Your actions are, shall we say, less
than heroic.”

“I rescued you.”

“After running away.”

“There’s no pleasing some people.”

“Okay, okay, you came back for
me,” said Lumar, “and for that I am indeed thankful. However. Prior to that it
has to be said, you were not exactly hero material. In fact, you were more of
an academic pervert with an ego bigger than a Titan-Class Cargo Cruiser.”

Svool looked glumly at the
ground. “This isn’t about sex. It’s about me waking up. About me growing as a
person.”

“If that
is
a monster in
that cave, there’ll be plenty of chances to show me how much of a man you are.”

“No, what it is - I’ve faced
death, now. When General Bronson was pointing that gun at me, and that tinkly
music was playing, I
knew
I was going to die. There was no way I could
win that battle. And, and, and, I kind of woke up; I was going to die, without
achieving everything I’d wanted to achieve, without saying everything I’d
wanted to say; and what I wanted to say the most, Lumar, was that I have
feelings for you.”

They were silent for a while, and
she put her hand on his arm. “This is neither the time nor the place.”

“Is there ever a right time or
place?”

“Come on.” She gave him a
dazzling smile. “If we get out of these mines alive, then we can talk some
more.”

She set off up the narrow rocky
trail, the still lirridium waters black in the underground cavern. Svool
trudged along at the back, hands in the pockets of his sheriff costume, face
forlorn and glum. Herbert the metal horse slowed his pace, dropping back to
walk alongside Svool.

“You okay, buster?”

“No. Get lost.”

“Awww, come on, buster. I’m only
trying to help! I know how you feel. I know
exactly
how you feel. I know
how you feel so bad it hurts! I know how you feel so bad it makes me want to
shit nuts and bolts!”

Svool stopped, and stared at the
robotic horse. “You’re not helping,” he said, through gritted teeth.

“I, too, have been in love,” said
the horse.

“How? How the hell has a rusted
robotic heap of shit been in love? You’re a fucking machine, mate. You’re a
collection of steel plates and cables. You have a battery, a sump, and a fuel
pump. How, by all that’s holy in Manna, can you have ever experienced my human
emotions?”

Herbert leant close, and Svool
could smell old engine oil. He winked. “I just have, buster.” There came a
whining, whirring noise as a leg jerked upwards in a succession of jarring,
snapping jerks, and a hoof the size of a dinner plate slapped Svool on the back
- in what Herbert probably thought was an act of camaraderie, but in practice
almost sent Svool face-first into the lake of lirridium and certain death in
the depths. “Come on! There’s work to be done!”

~ * ~

DURING
THE COURSE of the day-long trek, they stopped four or five times, and each time
Lumar pointed out the figure watching them.

“How can it be the same person?”
said Svool, looking down into his noodles.

They’d stopped for a rest, weary
from incessant walking and the constant on-edge feeling of trekking alongside
the world’s greatest fuel tank. Rooting through Angelina’s saddlebags, Lumar
had found tins of beans and packets of noodles. Tipping noodles into a small
pan, Herbert had opened a door in his flank and warmed the pan for them. The
upside was they now had warm refreshing noodles to fill their empty grumbling
bellies. The
downside
was they tasted of rotting sump oil.

“All I can think,” said Lumar, “is
that there’s a complex of parallel tunnels that our spy is using to keep pace
with us. Either that, or there’s more than one person.”

“You mean, like a tribe of
fish-eyed monsters living down here?”

Lumar looked strangely at Svool. “Your
mind works funny. You know that?”

“Hey, that’s why I’m such a
fabulous poet! Us creative types, we’re completely zany, you know.” He said it
with a straight face.

“Hmm.”

“Zoot?” said Lumar.

“Yes?”

“Head back there. See if you can
find a secondary tunnel network. Try and flush out our little spy up ahead. Let’s
see who’s so interested in watching us.”

“Is that such a wise idea?” said
Svool.

“You’d prefer a bullet in the
back of the skull?”

“Good point.”

Zoot zipped off, and was
swallowed by the darkness.

In silence, Lumar packed away the
pan in her saddlebags and, with weary sighs, they moved on through the jagged
tunnels.

~ * ~

IT
WAS A large square chamber, stacked high with metal slabs. Svool trotted
forward and poked one, then frowned. “It’s soft,” he said.

“It looks like processed ore,”
said Lumar, checking behind and then looking ahead, her pistol up near her
cheek. The chamber was perhaps a kilometre square, and stacked high with these
metal slabs - each one about the size of a groundcar, and probably running to
tens of thousands in number. They were set out in a grid, so that corridors ran
off at regular intervals from what Lumar considered to be the main passage
through.

“I don’t like this,” she said.

“A good place for an ambush?”

“Yeah. That’s right.” She took a
good look at Svool. “I am astonished at your acumen.”

“I’m not just a pretty face,” he
said.

“Yeah. Right.”