Trace + Olivia Series Boxed Set (125 page)

He held tight to the camera and kicked off his sweatpants. He was hard and completely ready for me. He slid a condom on and climbed on the bed. His fingers found me and when he felt that I was wet, he grinned. “I’m glad that turned you on as much as it did me.”

“How could it not?” I breathed.

“Good point.” He kissed me, as he took ahold of his length and slowly slid it inside me just a bit. I squirmed, letting out a small shriek from the soreness left over from yesterday. “Are you okay?” His brow creased with worry. “Do I need to stop? You know I will,” he assured me.

“Just go slow,” I warned him. “I-I’m sore down there.”

“Trust me,” he kissed me deeply, making my head spin, “this is going to be slow, and you’re going to love every second of it.”

My heart sped up even further at his promising tone.

He inched inside me ever so slowly, and when he was all the way in he stopped, taking a picture. I’d completely forgotten about the camera, but seeing it in his hand as he was braced above me made me excited.

“You can move,” I whispered.

“Not yet.” He took another picture.

He slowly inched back out, taking my picture again as my mouth fell open in an O.

He rocked his hips in and out at a leisurely pace that somehow managed to drive me crazier than what we’d done last night. I also found that there was something extremely erotic about having him above me, taking my picture as he made love to me. I couldn’t hide my emotions. They were plain for him and the camera to see. I was baring my soul to him, and I hoped he knew that, and understood the gift I was giving him. I was letting him
see
me.

Sweat dampened my body as I edged closer and closer to that cliff I was desperate to fall off of.

“Come for me,” he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. “Let me see you.”

He drove into me with shallow thrusts and I clawed at the blankets as I felt my orgasm begin to take over. All the while, he took my picture.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful and you don’t even know it,” he growled.

I wished I believed him. I had never been a person concerned about my outward appearance, but I knew on the inside that I was ugly… scarred… disfigured. I was diseased. Poison, known as lies, ran through my veins, suffocating me.

“Rowan?” He questioned, noticing the look of disgust on my face. “What’s wrong?” His movements stilled as he gazed down at me questioningly. “What did I do? What’d I say?”

“It’s nothing,” my voice cracked.

“Row,” he cupped my cheek in his hand. “Did I hurt you? Is it the pictures? You have to tell me what’s wrong so I can fix it.” His eyes pleaded with me to speak, to tell him what was going on in my head, but it was so hard.

“You didn’t hurt me,” I assured him. “But I’m not beautiful, Trent.”

“Yes, you are,” he said sternly.

I shook my head. “I’m not talking about what I look like,” I spoke fiercely. “I’m talking about what’s in
here
,” I placed a hand over my heart. “If you knew who I was, what I had
done
,” I croaked, “you’d know I wasn’t beautiful.”

“Don’t say such horrible things about yourself,” he whispered, tracing his fingers over his lips. “I don’t know who has planted these lies in your head,” he tapped my forehead, “but they’re wrong.”

“No one had to tell me anything,” I whispered with a frown. “I can see my own darkness.”

“Row…”

I knew he didn’t know what to say to me, and that was perfectly okay. I didn’t need to hear him try to convince me that I was
good
. He didn’t know what I had done, so in his eyes I was good. Eventually, I’d have to tell him—he deserved to know—and then he’d see how bad I was. I couldn’t hide the evil residing in my heart forever.

I pushed his shoulders, rolling him onto his back, so that I was on top.

“Take your pictures.” I took his chin in my hands, pressing my lips to his, sealing us together.

Because soon, those pictures will be all you’ll have left of me.

“And this is Times Square,” Trenton said, like as if I hadn’t already figured that out. I twirled around, my jaw hanging open in awe.

The lights, the sounds, the people… none of it was like home. It was easy for me to believe that Trent and I were in a whole new world. One where only the two of us existed.

Somebody bumped into me, propelling me into Trent. He wrapped his arms around me to keep me from falling on the sidewalk.

“Well, that was rude,” I glared at the retreating back of the man that had pushed me.

“That’s New York City,” Trent laughed. “Get used to it.”

He didn’t release me, if anything he tightened his hold. The air was cold and there was a slight wind. I was thankful for my heavy black coat, yellow scarf, and hat. Trent was dressed similarly, only his scarf and hat were red.

“Let’s get a picture,” he pleaded with me.

At this point, I was used to Trenton and his pictures, so I obliged.

He positioned me in front of the jumbotron and stood beside me. He held his arm out with the camera. “Smile,” he warned me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave the camera the biggest, cheesiest smile I could muster. Then I kissed his cheek. In the last photo he took, he kissed me squarely on the mouth, his tongue finding its way past my lips. I took his face in my hands, the scruff on his cheeks rubbing against the soft cotton of my mittens. He nipped my bottom lip and I couldn’t help but giggle.

He kissed the end of my nose, his breathing unsteady. “I know I wanted to show you the city, but I’m beginning to think leaving the penthouse was a really bad idea.”

“How about this,” I grasped the collar of his coat, “take me to see the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center, then we can go back there and take a really long shower… together.”

“That’s a really good idea,” he grinned. “I wish I would’ve thought of it.”

“Come on,” I took his hand. “The sooner we get a taxi, the sooner we see the tree, and the sooner we see the tree…” I trailed off, letting him finish my thought.

“The sooner I can have you wet and pinned against the shower wall,” he winked. “I do love showers.”

“And cameras,” I muttered.

He laughed. “Pictures are worth a thousand words, but those… something tells me they’re worth a million.”

A taxi finally stopped and I slid inside. Trent told the man where we wanted to go and I stifled my cough. The taxi reeked of cigarette smoke.

I crinkled my nose in displeasure at the nasty smell. I’d never understood the appeal to smoking. I mean, who wants to suck on a death stick? Obviously our cab driver.

He dropped us off and Trent handed him cash. “Thanks,” Trent called and the cabby simply grunted in response.

“Such a lovely fellow,” I joked. “I think he wants to be your new best friend.”

Trent’s arm wound around my waist. “Hardly.”

The crowd around the tree was thick, but not as bad as Times Square had been. I didn’t think we’d be able to get very close to the tree, but I was okay with that. It was lit up with multi colored lights and the ornaments were huge. I wondered just how tall the thing was. I had to crane my neck back to see the top of it.

“Excuse me,” Trent said, stopping a man passing by. “Would you mind getting a picture of me and my girlfriend?”

My heart stilled.

Girlfriend.

Trent had called me his girlfriend.

We had never defined what we were, but obviously Trent had his own idea, and I liked the sound of him calling me his ‘girlfriend’ a bit too much. I should’ve told him I wasn’t okay with him calling me that, but it would’ve been a lie. I did want to be his girlfriend. In fact, I wanted to be even more than that. But I knew it would never last, so I didn’t see the point in defining what we were to each other.

The guy seemed pissed that Trent had stopped him, but agreed. Trent handed him the camera and brought me close against his side.

The guy held the camera up and I smiled.

“Thanks,” Trent nodded, taking the camera from him.

Without a word the man left.

“Can I see it?” I asked, pointing at the camera.

Trent nodded, handing it over.

On the screen was the picture with the tree sparkling behind us. I smiled at the camera, but Trent was smiling down at me like… like I was his whole world. It was a beautiful picture, one that I wished I could imprint in my mind so I could look back on it years from now and remember how he’d felt.

I handed the camera back, swallowing down the sudden lump that had taken up residence in my throat.

“Are you ready to go?” Trent asked. “Or do you want to stay a little while longer?”

We’d already been gone from the penthouse for a while, I was chilled, and while the tree was pretty I didn’t see the sense in staring at it any longer.

“I’m ready to head back,” I answered, wiggling my chilled fingers. The black mittens did little to warm them, so I shoved them in the depths of my coat’s pockets.

Trent hailed cab and we headed back to the penthouse. He dropped us off at the front of the building and we entered that way. I hadn’t seen the lobby area yet, and I was stunned. Everything was so shiny and expensive looking. I didn’t want to know how much their penthouse must cost.

“You’ve got a little drool there,” Trent joked, wiping my lip for affect.

“This place is so amazing,” I gasped, turning around and around to take in everything.

“I like it here,” Trent shrugged. “The city vibe has always suited me, but I’d have a hard time leaving home. It’s nice to have this place to get away to, though.”

“How many other places do you have like this?” I questioned as we waited for an elevator.

“A few,” he answered vaguely.

“Something tells me it’s more than a few,” I laughed, stepping into the elevator.

He pulled out the key again, inserting it in the slot and twisting. “So maybe it is more than a few,” he shrugged casually. “I can’t tell you what they are, because I have to have something to keep you interested.”

“You know I don’t care about your money, Trent,” I said seriously, “or how many cars and houses you own. None of that matters to me.”

“I know,” he cupped my cheek, lowering his mouth to mine. “It’s one of the reasons why I—”

The elevator doors opened into the penthouse and I grabbed his hand, pulling him after me. “About that shower?” I smiled seductively, and what he had been about to say was forgotten.

There was a library in the penthouse. Every wall was covered with shelves filled with books of every genre. On one wall there was a window with a built-in bench seat covered in a fluffy white cushion and pillows. I had grabbed a blanket from the family room and I draped it over my legs as I looked out the window, brushing the wet strands of my hair.

Trent was making us dinner. I’d offered to help, but he’d declined, telling me to relax.

Since I hadn’t gotten much of a tour yesterday, I had taken it upon myself to look around the penthouse. When I’d come across this room, I’d been delighted. I’d always found comfort in a library. It made me sad to know I wasn’t going to be working at the library anymore. I probably wouldn’t be welcome there to study either. It looked like I’d be stuck studying at the University’s library. I’d have to come up with something creative to tell Tatum as to why I was fired. She was my friend, but I wouldn’t be able to bring myself to tell her the truth.

Luckily, I’d gotten a few days of work in at Trace’s car shop before Trent and I left. It certainly wasn’t the library, but it was nice. He was easy to work for and he paid well, so I had nothing to complain about. The guys that worked for him in the shop could get a little rowdy, but he was quick to shut them down and order them back to work. For being so young, Trace was handling being a business owner very well.

I tapped my fingers on top of my knees and laid the hairbrush aside, letting the long damp strands hang down my back.

I was overcome by a sudden sadness, knowing that in a matter of days we’d have to return home and this bubble surrounding me would burst. Being here alone with Trent made it all too easy for me to hope for a future with him—a future that I knew could never be. I vowed that when we got back home I’d end things. I’d walk away before it got messy. When he dropped me off, I’d lie and tell him that this week with him had shown me that my interest wasn’t there. I’d lie, because it was easier. They always say the truth can set you free. In my case, the truth was my prison.