Trace + Olivia Series Boxed Set (161 page)

I opened my eyes slowly, suddenly feeling shy.

He was watching me with a look of reverence. 

“God, you’re amazing.” His voice thrummed through me. I still felt like I was floating. 

“Kiss me,” I pleaded.

And boy did he kiss me.

Even though his lips were pressed against mine, it felt like he was kissing me everywhere—branding me as his. 

There was no coming back from this. My heart—that treacherous beast—was all wrapped up in Jude. He was quickly becoming all I could think about.

Like his grandpa said, I felt him. He was all around me. Not in the physical sense. His presence was just that potent. Even when he was nowhere near me, my mind and body yearned for him. He’d placed a permanent mark on my heart, carving out a space for himself. I don’t how he’d done it—I’d long ago believed that organ to be frozen and unmoving—but he did, and there was no going back. Something told me I was only going to end up hurt and broken, but I couldn’t find the sense to care anymore. Once the heart gets involved, the mind can’t win. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. He smoothed his fingers through my hair. “Fucking amazing and you don’t even know it. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

“I’m nothing special.” I swallowed thickly. It was true. I was just a girl and he was just a boy. We weren’t extraordinary we were just…us.

“You’re everything.”

He kissed me again—and my God I would never get used to his kisses.

His hips ground into mine and I could feel him. All of him.

My hands skittered down his chest as he kissed me and before he knew what I was doing, my hands were around him. His body quaked as I ran my hand up and down his hard length. Holy hell. He was huge. There was no way that was fitting inside me, ever. And by that I meant his cock. Even thinking the word made me squirm. I needed to grow up and stop freaking out. I wasn’t sixteen. I was a twenty-two year old woman. There was nothing wrong with me having sex or wanting to have sex. But growing up in a strict household, sex had always been made to feel dirty and wrong. 

Looking at the pleasure on Jude’s face…there was nothing dirty or wrong about that. It was magnificent.

I ran my thumb along the tip and his eyes shot open. He grabbed my hands and fisted them in his own, pulling them away.

Hurt filled me and my lips turned down.

“Jude? What’d I do?” My voice shook with the threat of tears. Had I done something wrong? While I’d had sex, I was pretty inexperienced and I’d never had any desire to get up and personal with a guy’s—

His words cut off my racing thoughts. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he panted, swallowing so hard his Adam’s apple bobbed. “God that felt fucking amazing. But what I did was for you. I didn’t want you to feel like you had to return the favor.” He kissed my forehead and rolled over so he was behind me. He pulled my body against his so that there was no space between us. 

“I want to.”

“No, Tate,” his lips pressed to my neck, “tonight is for you and only you.”

I grew quiet, clasping my hands beneath my head. Finally, when I couldn’t stand the silence another second, I asked, “Isn’t that painful?” I rubbed my butt against his still blatantly present hard-on. 

“Some pains are worth the reward, and seeing you come apart like that, screaming my name…that was worth everything.”

With those words I fell asleep with a satisfied smile.

“JUUUUUUUUUDE!” I SHRIEKED AS he ran down the beach with me on his back piggyback style. It was safe to say we were acting like five year olds, but I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. “You’re going to drop me!”

“I’d never drop you!” He declared, spinning me around.

“Picture!” Rowan called out, holding her phone up.

Jude stopped spinning, teetering to the side a bit as he regained his balance. 

“Smile,” Rowan declared.

“I am smiling,” Jude and I replied simultaneously. He lifted his head to look at me and we burst out laughing. All the while Rowan snapped away, taking pictures of our moment.

Our spring break was coming to an end. Tomorrow morning we had to head back home to the real world. But all four of us were determined to enjoy our last day, and by some miracle we’d been blessed with warm weather. The ocean was still nippy, but I wasn’t opposed to putting my toes in it. 

“Text those to me.” Jude told Rowan after she’d taken all the photos she wanted. 

“I will,” she laughed, running over to Trent.

There were more people on the beach today, a few even our age.

When Rowan had invited me, I’d expected crowds of college kids, but that hadn’t happened thanks to the private beach. I preferred it that way. I didn’t like being surrounded by lots of people or noise.

Last night Jude and I had hung out on the beach, just talking for a while, and then I decided to read. I hadn’t read a book for fun since…well, probably before I started college. My studies left little time for relaxation. Soon I’d have no time, because I knew once we graduated I needed to find a job and move out on my own. 

I climbed off Jude’s back and we collapsed in the sand, rolling around.

“Hey,” he smiled down at me.

“Hi.” I smiled back.

“You know,” he poked my cheek, “when you smile really big, you have this dimple right here.” He poked me again for good measure. “I like it. I think I need to kiss it.”

“Oh, really?” I giggled. 

“Mhmm,” he murmured, kissing my cheek where just a moment ago he’d poked me. “I love your smile. Have I told you that?”

“Only a few times.” I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He looked down at me, his stare intense. I shivered, despite the warmth of the sand against my back and the heat of the air. 

My lips parted, expecting him to kiss me, but he didn’t.

He curled his fingers in my hair. “I love your smile,” he repeated. “Your laugh. The way your eyes light up when your happy. The way you say my name. I love it all.”

“My, Jude Brooks, it sounds like you love me,” I took on an overly dramatic southern accent. 

My words were like a bucket of ice water to the both of us.

He rolled out of my hold and sat in the sand, staring out at the ocean.

Oh, shit.

“Jude,” I gasped, fear at my own words consuming me, “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, how could you love me?” I rambled. “I’m kind of a bitch,” I muttered. “I’m really quite a mess, actually. I honestly meant it as a joke.”

“Hey,” he turned to me, his gaze instantly shutting me up. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re not a bitch and you’re not a mess. A little lost? Maybe. But who isn’t?” His shoulders sagged. “I just wasn’t expecting that is all. You surprised me. I’m sorry.”

“Please, don’t apologize to me.” I scooted over beside him. 

“I know you didn’t mean it like that, but I want you to know…I might not be able to say the words yet, and I know you’re nowhere near ready to hear them, but I’m well on my way to being in love with you.”

“Jude.” My heart did this nervous fluttery thing inside my chest. If he kept this up I was going to have a heart attack before we graduated.

“Please, don’t be scared. The last thing I want is to scare you away, but I just want you to know where this is heading for me. I know a part of you still thinks this is a fling for me, but it’s not Tate. When I look at you, I see my future.”

Tears glimmered in my eyes. I wasn’t sure if they were happy, sad, or scared-out-of-my-mind tears. I was going with scared. 

“How can you say that?” I asked. I needed to know what made him so sure. Why could he, Jude Man-Whore Brooks, see us together but I couldn’t? 

“It’s the truth.” He said it simply with a small shrug, like it was no big deal, but it was a huge deal. At least to me.

A few days ago I would’ve been mad over his words, but now I was simply stunned. The person in this relationship that should’ve been fighting us tooth and nail was Jude. He was the one that couldn’t stay with a girl and settle down. But instead it was me that was scared shitless while he was probably sitting there picturing a wedding and babies and all that jazz. Wow. What a freaking role reversal. This was insane. We were insane. 

“Don’t be scared, Tate.”

“I’m not,” I said quickly.

“You’re a really bad liar,” he chuckled. “Whatever you’re imagining, I promise my thoughts aren’t that bad.” He started to laugh harder. “I haven’t named our kids past Jude Jr. I figured I’d let you pick the other five.”

“Six?!” I screamed. “You want six kids?!” I was pretty close to passing out. Someone grab the smelling salts. Stat.

Jude fell back in the sand laughing so hard he clutched his stomach. “Oh my God! Your face!” He wiped tears from his eyes. “You should’ve seen your face! That was priceless. I wish I’d gotten a picture.” 

As he rolled around, still laughing at my expense, I grabbed a handful of sand and threw it at him. He was unperturbed by the projectile. I needed something larger. Like a rock. Or a missile. 

“Stop laughing at me!” I scolded. 

He didn’t listen.

Finally I just gave up and started laughing with him. It was pretty funny after all.

Well played, Jude Brooks. Well freakin’ played.

“You’re kind of an ass.” I told him when we sobered. 

“Ah, but I’m your ass,” he grinned, “and face it, you really, really like me.”

“I do,” I conquered.

“I’m a likable guy.”

“When you’re not being annoying,” I shrugged.

He fake gasped. “I am never annoying.”

“You wish,” I patted his shoulder.

He looked at where my hand was. “Did you just pat my shoulder like we’re friends?”

“I did,” I nodded.

He did the gasping thing again.

Before I could blink he had me pinned on the ground, the sand sticking to my skin. He had quite the knack for pinning me down. I kind of liked it actually, but I was never telling him that.

“Oh, we are so far past friends, Tate.”

“Are we now?” I quirked a brow.

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “Friends don’t kiss like this.” And then he lowered his mouth to demonstrate. He kissed me leisurely, like we had all the time in the world, and I was happy to let him. When he pulled away I mewled in protest, causing him to chuckle. It wasn’t my fault his kisses were mind-blowing. “And I don’t think you let your friends touch you here.” His fingers glided over the tops of my breasts, which heaved behind the confines of my bikini top. “Or here.” His hand went lower, cupping me over my shorts. 

“Jude!” I gasped. “People can see you!”

“I don’t care,” he said simply. 

“I do!” 

“Well,” he kissed my cheek, rolling off of me, “you shouldn’t care so much what people think. People’s opinions of you don’t change a thing.” He stared out at the dark blue ocean and sighed. His face grew serious. “I don’t want to go home.”

“Me either.”

He continued on like I hadn’t even spoken. “I’m afraid that when we go home, everything will go back to the way it was before…that this will have all been a dream and you’ll hate me again. I don’t like you hating me, Tate.” He glanced at me and I could see the hurt etched into his face. He really meant what he said.

“That’s not going to happen, Jude.” I assured him, but he didn’t relax. I laid my head on his shoulder. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he muttered, almost like he hadn’t meant to say the words out loud. 

I realized then that Jude had been doing nothing but trying to prove to me he cared for a while. I hadn’t been nearly so open with my thoughts or feelings for him. I was closed off and sheltered. Jude said he wore his heart on his sleeve, and he was right. But I kept mine guarded. 

“I’ll just have to prove it to you,” I murmured. I meant it too.

Jude had shown he was different with me.

Now, it was my turn to show that I was different with him—that we were two halves of a whole. A fucked up whole, but a whole nonetheless.

THE STARS SPARKLED ABOVE me and the ocean roared as it crashed against the sand. The night had grown cold, but I wore a sweatshirt and had a blanket wrapped around my shoulders to protect against the wind. 

I’d found myself unable to sleep.

My mind wouldn’t shut up.

When the clock read one in the morning, I gave up and came out here. I’d hoped the sound of the ocean would make me sleepy, but so far it hadn’t. I was sure it was closer to two now. Maybe I’d be able to sleep in the car. Trent wanted to get an early start home. I could tell that he and Rowan wanted to get back home to Tristan and Ivy. It was weird to think that my best friend was a mom. Crazy, really. We were so young. 

I sighed, stretching my legs out in front of me. 

I startled when a body sank down next to me.

Jude.

I should’ve known he’d show up. 

In fact, I was actually surprised that it took him this long to come find me.

He had a sweatshirt and sweatpants on, but he still reached for the blanket. I thought he was cold and moved closer, but when he wrapped his arms around me I knew he was only trying to get me warm. Oh Jude, ever the thoughtful one. Tears pricked my eyes. I’d always believed Jude to be the villain, but he wasn’t at all. He was amazing in so many ways. He was by far a better person than me. He was the hero of this tale and I was the wicked witch. I’d been so incredibly wrong about him and I’d hate myself for the rest of my life for that fact.