Tracie Peterson (11 page)

Rachel’s voice wasn’t the only thing sweet about her. Her spirit had won him over and convinced him that her words of love were sincere. Not even once had she tried to get him alone since the night of the play. She knew he needed time to adjust his thinking, to decide what to do with his life and his heart. And he knew she was right—that she would know the truth about his decision. It had to be for the right reasons.

David sat contemplating this very thing one morning when Ruth appeared, boxes in hand, to announce that she planned to pack up Kenny’s belongings.

“It’s time to put things away. I’d like it, and so would Marion,” she had said, “if you would pick out a couple of things for yourself. I know Kenny would want you to have something of his.”

David had no idea what piece or pieces might be important to the family, so he had asked Ruth for help in choosing. By the time the morning had passed, David found himself the owner of three books, two sets of cuff links, one fishing pole, and a Bible. It wasn’t the same thick black book David had seen Kenny read night after night on
board the
Arizona
; instead, it was a new Bible that Ruth and Marion had planned to send Kenny the previous Christmas.

Even now David wasn’t at all sure what he would do with it. He didn’t know what he would do with any of the things Ruth had given him. His previous plans for ending his life came back to haunt him. Somehow it had been easier to consider suicide when he didn’t have anything to worry about. Now he had these things and these people who cared, and suddenly life had become very complicated.

“David?” Rachel called to him from outside the bedroom.

Putting the Bible aside, David opened the door. He looked into the face of an angel and felt his heart beat a little faster. She smiled at him and it lit up the entire room.

“I have to go downtown for some shopping. Would you like to go with me?”

David grabbed his cardigan and negotiated the left sleeve awkwardly. Rachel immediately stepped in and helped him, never speaking a word. Her act of kindness came naturally and unplanned, and yet it was hard for David to take help.

He put aside his feelings of protest and smiled. “Let’s go!”

They paused only long enough for hats and coats and for David to sample Ruth’s newest batch of honey oatmeal cookies before heading outside.

The day appeared surprisingly clear and sunny. After nearly a week of gray clouds and rain, David thought he could definitely stand a bit of sun. Rachel lifted her face to the skies as if drinking in the rays. They weren’t very warm, David decided, but they nevertheless did something to lift the spirits.

“So what are you shopping for?” David questioned. He really wanted to ask her if she still felt the same about him or if she’d changed her mind. After all, maybe she would tire of waiting for him to come to terms with the past and his future.

“Mother wants me to pick up a few things for her, but besides that, I have a couple of last-minute presents to buy.”

Hearing the word
present
, David realized he hadn’t even thought of Christmas gifts for the Bennett family. He reasoned that he’d never bought Christmas gifts and so it wasn’t like it should be a natural thought to him, but at the same time he felt compelled to do something nice for his host and hostess.

“I’d like to get your folks something,” David said softly. He hoped by mentioning the idea, Rachel might be able to steer him in the right direction. “Do you think that would be all right?”

Rachel’s pace never slowed as she guided them across the street. “I think it would be swell. Mom could use new embroidery thread or a scarf and she absolutely adores candy. She has a fierce sweet tooth, but with rationing and such, candy is pretty expensive. Pop is harder to buy for. He doesn’t have too many needs. He likes listening to the radio and eating.” She grinned at David. “Makes it kind of hard to buy for him. Of course, he’d probably love you forever if you found a way to get him some new tires for the Ford.”

They laughed and it made David feel good. Everyone in the Bennett family had a good sense of humor. Maybe that’s why adversity never seemed to hold them down for long.

Sobering just a bit, David asked, “What did you get your father—surely not something for the Ford?” He let the smile linger on his lips.

“Helen and I traded preserves for some material. Dad’s getting two new work shirts and some handkerchiefs from us.”

David nodded. “Sounds good. What about Helen and Grandpa Bennett? Is there some little thing that would please them?”

Rachel tucked her clutch bag under her arm and pointed to a small shop. “There’s all sorts of things in the Simpsons’ store. You could probably find Grandpa a new muffler or pipe, and Helen would be positively delighted with anything to read. She’s a tomboy at heart, so adventure is her main interest. Simpsons’ carries quite a few books. I could show you what she’s read and what she hasn’t.”

“That sounds easy enough.”

She looked at him for a moment and David could have sworn there was a hint of anticipation in her expression. Was she waiting for him to say something more? Perhaps to ask what she herself might like for Christmas? He wanted to ask that question, but on the other hand, he felt much too inadequate to bring the subject to light. It was safe and easy to discuss the rest of the family, but his feelings for Rachel confused him. No, it was better left unspoken. Should he start to speak of how he felt about her, he very well might say things he wasn’t ready to say.

David let Rachel lead the way to the shop. Someone had placed a string of bells on the inside handle. The melodic sound caused the
other customers to look up as David and Rachel entered the store. David thought the sound rather pleasant and festive—maybe there was something to this holiday celebration.

“Why, hello, Rachel,” a kindly matron declared. “I see you’ve brought us the war hero.”

David cringed inwardly but remained stoic. Rachel appeared undaunted. “We’ve come to shop for Christmas, Mrs. Simpson.”

The woman smiled. “Wonderful! I’m so glad. How are you, Mr. Cohen? I doubt you remember me, but I was at the church fellowship after the play.”

David nodded. “Nice to meet you.”

“Well, let me show you around. What did you have in mind for gifts?”

“Do you have boxes of candy?” he asked, remembering Rachel’s suggestion for her mother.

“We have some very nice boxes. A little pricey, but the contents are heavenly.”

David thought of the money he’d managed to put together. He’d brought every cent with him. “Let’s see them.”

He busied himself with the selections, settling on candy for Ruth, a copy of
David Copperfield
for Helen, a plaid wool muffler for Grandpa Bennett, and a special just-in-from-Seattle set of wrapped cheeses for Marion.

“While you finish up with Mrs. Simpson,” Rachel told him, “I’m going to run next door. I need to talk to the Vandercamps about the greenhouse.” She bit her lip momentarily. David sensed her discomfort at having mentioned the Akimotos’ livelihood.

“Oh, Rachel, tell your mama to bring me by a couple more poinsettias. Those other two pots sold so quickly it took my breath away.”

“I’ll tell her,” Rachel replied. She flashed David an apologetic look, then added, “I’ll be right back.”

As soon as the bells had jingled in declaration of her departure, David turned conspiratorially to Mrs. Simpson. He felt his pulse pick up a bit. Nervously he shifted from one foot to the other. “What should I get Rachel for Christmas?”

Mrs. Simpson smiled, reached on the back shelf behind the counter, and grabbed a small bottle of perfume. “She’s always admired this scent. I know she’d love it.”

David nodded. “I’ll take it too.”

He paid for the purchases and waited while Mrs. Simpson sacked them in such a way that they would remain hidden from view. “Thank you,” he said, taking the sack in his good arm.

“You come anytime, Mr. Cohen. We’re mighty glad to have you here. Mrs. Bennett told us what a good friend you were to Kenny. He was one of a kind.”

“He sure was,” David agreed.

He managed the door without spilling the sack out onto the floor, then waited outside for Rachel. He noticed the hardware store next door and figured that was where Rachel had gone, but he wasn’t in a hurry to rejoin her. Sitting down on a bench outside the Simpsons’ shop, David struggled with his thoughts.

A lifetime of anger and bitterness seemed to come up against a new and most curious roadblock: love. Ruth Bennett had shown him such loving compassion, as had the others. Her love disarmed his anger and made him feel almost silly for his bitter thoughts. Ruth had lost her only son, yet she felt confident that God was still worth worshiping and honoring. Not only that, but she felt that there was no good reason for assessing blame and punishment. She wanted the war ended before other mothers’ sons were killed. She had told him that all sides stood to lose their hope for a productive tomorrow as they killed off the children of today.

He then thought of the Akimotos and their bond to the Bennett family. He could remember Kenny talking about his friend Willie, but he’d never heard a last name associated with the first. David had never even guessed that Willie might be of a Japanese lineage. It had never been an issue.

The longer David sat and thought about it, the more he had to face the truth. He wasn’t nearly so mad at the act of war dealt Pearl Harbor. They had known it was a possibility. Hadn’t they stepped up security in some areas? Weren’t they admonished to be watchful? No, if the truth were told, David wasn’t half as mad at the Japanese as he was himself. He was the one who had deserted in the middle of the night. He was the one who had betrayed Kenny’s trust.

But it was easy to blame it all on the Japanese. Being at war with the Japanese even made it acceptable to feel that way. David could well remember the posters put up around various places in San Francisco.
The hospital had been full of them. Perhaps someone had thought them a morale booster.
Slap the Jap! Stay on the Job Until Every Murdering Jap Is Wiped Out! Remember Pearl Harbor! Bomb Tokyo With Your Extra Change—Buy War Bonds!

It was all there. The encouragement to avenge and hate. The country had enemies, and those enemies had to be stopped. If hatred fueled the battle, so what? If it got the job done and saw the enemy defeated, why not allow, even promote, it? It shouldn’t be so appalling to suggest that the Japanese in America were dangerous. Even if they were citizens, they could switch loyalties—anyone could.

He thought of Rachel and her declaration to him on the night of the Christmas play. He’d feared he might feel uncomfortable around her after that announcement, but nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, he felt just that much more comfortable. She had made it clear to him that he wasn’t a cripple in her eyes. That she loved him as a person in spite of knowing the truth about him. That God could love him too. Was that true? Could it really be possible?

“Are you ready?” Rachel questioned.

David glanced up and realized she had probably been standing there for several minutes. He got to his feet slowly. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“What about?”

“Christmas secrets.” She smiled. He saw the package in her arm and offered to carry it, but she shook her head.

“Now tell me what you were thinking about.”

“It’s not so easy,” David began. “I’ve had a great deal to think about since coming to Longview. I guess it’s all just catching up with me. I’ve been thinking about what you said—how you feel about me, even though you know the truth. But there’s something you don’t know.”

She shifted her package and seemed to consider his words thoughtfully. “Well, let’s head back for home and you do the talking.”

They crossed the street at a slow, almost leisurely pace and finally David spoke. “I’m not a war hero. I was at Pearl Harbor, that much is true. But I should have been on the
Arizona
. I should be there still, but I left the night before and went drinking.” He refused to look at her, focusing instead on the sidewalk ahead. “I had duty that weekend and didn’t have permission to be gone. I knew I’d have to face
Kenny when I came back. I did him wrong and there are no two ways about it.”

She said nothing and David grew increasingly tense. Perhaps this was too much to expect anyone to accept. He’d always figured on telling Ruth first, but somehow it seemed right to explain himself to Rachel.

“I don’t remember everything about that morning. There are bits and pieces, and frankly a good deal of it is probably more imagination than truthful recollection. I wrecked a jeep—a jeep I’d stolen prior to the bombing and it was while trying to escape that wreckage that I fell victim to shrapnel and a concussion from a nearby bomb explosion.” He stopped and turned toward her. She stopped as well and looked at him with huge, sympathetic eyes. “Do you understand what I’m saying? I’m not a hero. I’m not even worthy of being here.”

“Only God can give life and only God can take it,” she said. “If God had wanted you to die at Pearl Harbor, He had ample opportunity to allow it. You’re here for a reason, David. I think you’re here for several reasons, my own selfish one included, but maybe even more you’re here because God knew Mama needed someone to help her deal with Kenny’s death. She’s been so strong—so brave. She saw the rest of us through the ordeal and always stood fast. She’s helped other mothers with their losses but always kept her heart guarded. She needed you, David. Not because you were or weren’t a war hero. She needed you because you both loved Kenny, and because of that, you could help each other lay him to rest.”

“Why not find that help with your father or you?” David questioned. “You loved him too. Your father was no doubt just as devastated in losing his only son.”

Rachel nodded. “Yes, that’s true. We tried to help Mama, but she’s always taken it upon herself to be the backbone of this family. There was no way she was going to stand by and let someone else take that position. She made it through those awful months by helping us cope with the truth. She knew Pop needed someone he could count on—and that someone was her.”