Tracie Peterson (20 page)

“Erik isn’t like that,” Mary Ann said with a smile. “He’s true blue.”

“Sure he is, doll. Sure he is.”

The song ended and Mary Ann felt Ray tighten his grip. “I want to dance another.”

“I need a break. I want something to drink and I want to sit down for a minute,” Mary Ann replied.

Ellen came up about that time, sniffing and sneezing. “I’m going back to the house. Some friends have offered to take me. You go ahead and have a good time.”

Mary Ann realized just how bad Ellen looked and felt guilty for having dragged her along. “That’s all right, Ellen. I’ll go back with you. You’ll need someone to take care of you.”

“No, stay. I know this meant a lot to you,” Ellen said, shaking her head. “I’ll be all right once I get a hot bath and get into bed.” She started to go, then turned back. “Ray, you’ll look out for her, won’t you? You won’t let anything happen to her?”

“Cross my heart,” he said, beaming Ellen a smile.

Despite his sincerity, Mary Ann sensed that she would have to be careful. Something didn’t feel right, and while she couldn’t exactly explain it, she felt almost certain that she was in trouble.
Well, you got yourself into this, you can just get yourself out of it
, Mary Ann reasoned.
Nobody made me take up with Ray Blasingham, and Erik even warned me about guys like him. If I’d listened to Erik and Ellen, I wouldn’t be in this predicament. I’m just as silly and simpleminded as everyone thinks, and I need to grow up and stand up for myself
.

“Ready to dance, doll?” Ray questioned as he swung her into the lively steps of the jitterbug.

The music picked up to accommodate the peppy dance, and Mary Ann couldn’t help but lose herself in her worried thoughts. She had to figure out a way to make it clear to Ray that she wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship, but that was easier said than done.

She thought of praying, and before she knew it she was silently pleading to know what to do.
God, I suppose I’m just going to have to figure this out for myself, but it would be awfully nice if you could give me a hint of what I’m supposed to do
.

Ray danced her to exhaustion and all the while Mary Ann worried about the close of the evening. When the clock struck nine, she was certain she’d have at least another hour, maybe two, in order to
figure out what was to be done, but this wasn’t to be the case. The bandleader thanked the crowd for coming and announced that the dance was over.

Ray whistled a tune as he helped Mary Ann into her coat. He pulled his own jacket on and popped his hat on as they stepped from the building. “Look there, the stars are winking down at us. It’s one good side to the blackout. It’s a perfect night to do some star gazing. How about it?”

“No, Ray,” Mary Ann said firmly. “I have to get home and check on Ellen. Besides, I still have to work tomorrow. I need my rest. And you ought to save the gasoline. There’s a war on, you know.” She tried to sound more lighthearted.

“With my rations, I can get all the gas I want, you know that. I’m in essential war production.” He winked. “And in my book, this is essential.”

“Well, getting a good night’s sleep is essential in mine.”

He said nothing but surprised her as he helped her into the car before going around to the driver’s side. Fumbling with his keys, he appeared preoccupied and Mary Ann silently breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he’d taken her “no” as the final word. She could only hope that was the case.

They drove in silence for about a mile. Mary Ann hugged the far side of the seat, almost clinging to the passenger-side door. It was uncharacteristic of her to act so silly, but she couldn’t help feeling nervous. Then, when Ray pulled the car over and parked on the side of the road nearly a mile from the boardinghouse, Mary Ann’s nerves began to tingle.

“What’s the matter?” she asked him, trying not to sound accusatory.

“I just can’t fight what I’m feeling for you,” Ray said quite seriously. He lost the smooth character charm and seemed to gain a sense of genuineness that Mary Ann had never known. “I know you have your boyfriend, but, Mary Ann, I’ve fallen in love with you. That’s never happened to me before.”

Mary Ann felt her cheeks grow hot. “I didn’t know you felt like this.”

“I didn’t either—well, not exactly,” Ray said, looking out the front window. “I didn’t plan on falling in love. It just sort of crept
up on me. Then tonight, watching you dance with those other men, seeing them in uniform preparing to defend the country . . . well, I just sort of lost my way.”

“I don’t understand.”

Ray nodded. “It’s hard on a guy not to be able to go to war with his buddies. It’s the kind of rejection you don’t get over real easy. Maybe you never do. I struck out at the draft board and now I’m striking out with you.”

“But, Ray, I’m with Erik. I plan to marry him,” she said softly. Her heart went out to Ray. He seemed so lost and lonely. “Erik is a good man and so are you. You’ll find someone else.”

He shook his head. “Don’t think I’ll count on that,” he said, lowering his head. “Nobody wants a failure.”

Mary Ann reached out to touch his shoulder. Gone was her earlier trepidation. “You aren’t a failure. You’re one of the best workers Boeing has. Someone has to stay stateside and build planes and supply equipment. That’s just as admirable as Erik going off to fly against the enemy.”

“You’re just saying that,” Ray said, refusing to look her in the eye.

“No, I’m not. I mean it.” Mary Ann leaned forward. “You have to see that you’re valuable for who you are. That the job you’re doing is important.”

“You’re good to say that,” he said, leaning back against the seat. He stared up at the roof of the car. “I want to believe that, but . . . well . . . it’s just hard. I don’t have anyone—no friends, no family. And now I’ve given my heart to the one girl who can never be mine.”

“I’m sorry, Ray. I didn’t know that was how you felt or I wouldn’t have gone dancing with you. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

Ray shook his head and reached up to touch her cheek. Mary Ann was so lost in her sympathy for the man that she didn’t even think to recoil. “You didn’t lead me on. I led myself on. I dared to believe I was worth having a girl like you.”

“But you are, Ray. You’re a good man. Someday you’ll find a woman out there who will adore you. You’ll fall in love with her and it will be far better than anything you could have had with me.”

“I hope you’re right,” he said, still fingering her cheek.

“I know I am. I just wish I could make you feel better. I do appreciate what you did for me—keeping me from getting fired and all.”

He sighed and the look on his face nearly broke Mary Ann’s heart. “I always dreamed of sitting under the stars like this with you. Of kissing you in the moonlight.” He leaned forward. “Couldn’t you give me just one kiss? Something I could take away with me until I find that girl you believe is out there.”

Mary Ann didn’t like the idea of letting Ray kiss her. Something inside her screamed in protest, but even as it did, she found herself nodding. “Sure, Ray. One kiss.”

He moved toward her hesitantly. “Are you sure? I don’t want you angry at me.”

“I’m sure,” she hesitantly said, trying to fight back the growing sensation that she was in danger.

Ray put his hand at the back of her head and pulled her toward him. “You won’t be sorry,” he whispered as his other arm went around her shoulder and his lips came down hard on her own.

It was the manner in which he spoke that caused Mary Ann to grow even more uncomfortable. She was already sorry and now, with Ray’s kiss growing more ardent, more needful, Mary Ann realized she’d made a terrible mistake.

She pushed at him, but he refused to be put aside. Mary Ann twisted violently, knowing that Ray intended to have much more from her than a simple kiss.

Fighting for all she was worth, Mary Ann felt sickened as Ray gave a low, guttural laugh. He had planned this all out. He had worked on her sympathy until he had her exactly where he wanted her. His ability to woo her in such a way was far more frightening than the smooth moves he’d made as a playboy foreman.

“Relax, baby,” he said as he barely took his lips from hers, “I promise you’ll have a good time. Haven’t I always shown you a good time?”

He started to kiss her again, but Mary Ann bit his lip instead.

“Why, you little . . .” He grabbed her wrists and pulled her back. “You want it rough, is that it?”

“Get away from me!” Mary Ann demanded as she reached for the door. “You have no right.”

She was desperate to get out of the car, but Ray seemed to fully understand her intentions. He grabbed her knee and held her in place with one hand while he ran his free hand along her thigh.

“You want to keep your job, don’t you? Being nice to me is the way to get that done. Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll have to agree with old Sam.” He said the words matter-of-factly, then shrugged as if there simply wasn’t any other choice.

Mary Ann gathered her strength and slapped him hard across the face. She took his moment of surprise as her cue to exit the car. Running as fast as her weakened legs would carry her, Mary Ann ducked down an alley and prayed as she went. She heard Ray start up the car.

“Please, God, I didn’t know what I was doing. I need your help. Please don’t let Ray catch me.” She had no idea if Ray would follow her down the alleyway or not, but she kept pushing herself to run faster. If she could just reach the street, she’d have a better chance of losing him.

It wasn’t any time at all before she heard the car in the alley behind her. He was following her. This wasn’t over as far as he was concerned. Apparently no one denied Ray Blasingham and got away with it. Mary Ann felt a painful stitch in her side but knew she couldn’t stop. He’d catch her and when he did, he’d make her pay for what she’d done—for the way she’d humiliated him and rejected his advances. It was no longer a matter of whether or not she’d keep her job—no doubt she’d already lost that—now she worried that if she didn’t escape him, Ray Blasingham might very well get exactly what he wanted.

With one final burst of energy, Mary Ann ran for the opening in the alleyway. The street was just ahead and already she could see other people walking back and forth along the sidewalk. Once she reached that place, she told herself, she would be safe from Ray. At least for the moment.

She reached the street, surprising several uniformed sailors and their dates. Unable to stop before she’d entered the main thoroughfare, however, Mary Ann found herself with a bigger obstacle to hurdle. Bearing down on her with no hope of stopping, a delivery truck was even now skidding and squealing in protest as the driver tried to avoid an accident. Stunned, Mary Ann could only stand frozen in place.

Although Erik knew it was impossible, the river actually felt drier than the jungle. The calm waters were almost soothing in their warmth. Had he not been hurting so much from the fall and weakened from the malaria, Erik might have just floated indefinitely.

He gave no mind to what else might also be swimming in the river that day. Banged up, scratched, and growing seriously weary of the battle, Erik thought only of survival. He forced himself to the riverbank and fell onto the ground in complete exhaustion. He shook so hard he could barely manage to sit up. All he wanted to do was sleep in a dry bed without things slithering or crawling or biting at him in the interim.

Scratching furiously at his arm, Erik saw that his hands and arms were broken out in a strange red blistering rash.

“Great! What else can go wrong?”

He knew he shouldn’t have asked the question, but it came from his lips without considering all the possibilities. Hours later, after wandering downstream for some distance, Erik remembered the question.

“It’s nearly Christmas,” he said, grumbling. “It doesn’t feel like Christmas. It doesn’t look like Christmas.” He stumbled forward, nearly losing his footing. “Does anybody care?” he yelled.

He began a running conversation with himself. “Nobody cares about Christmas and nobody cares about me. I’m just out here by myself having the time of my life.” He waded into the water when a mangrove, the only tree he recognized besides palms, edged the water and made it impossible to follow the bank with any success.

“Smelly things!” he shouted at the tree as though it could somehow understand. “Stupid, smelly jungle. You won’t feed me—you won’t help me.” He battled the mangrove roots and found himself
in waist-deep water. “But you will try to drown me. If it isn’t the rain, it’s this river.”

He thought of the irony. How he’d longed to find the river and now he longed to be rid of it. “But I’m looking for a path!” he declared, slapping at the shoreline brush. “We can’t have a path in a decent place. Nooooo. We can’t fight the war in a decent place. No, sir, we have to go to the pits of hell and fight. We have to go someplace where they don’t even grow things that are recognizable so you know whether or not you can eat them!” What he wouldn’t give for a simple Washington apple tree.

He climbed back up on the banks and shook his head. He looked upstream from where he’d just come, then downstream. Nothing, not even the territory he’d just passed over, looked familiar.