Tracie Peterson - [Heirs of Montana 04] (25 page)

He reached over and touched her hand. She didn’t flinch or pull away; in fact, her expression warmed and he felt her approval immediately.

“Maybe we could read the Bible together,” he said, feeling at a loss for words. “Maybe if we did that every night, we’d find the same kind of faith that Ma has. Maybe we would both learn the things we need to know.”

Elsa turned her hand to clasp his. “I’d like that, Jamie. I’d like it very much.”

He felt rather sheepish. “I have to admit, I have a long ways to go until I understand why things happen the way they do. I’ve been bitter most all my life because of my father’s death and inability to leave me the ranch. I’ve often wondered why, if God was the creator of the universe and in control of everything, He couldn’t make this one thing right—for me.”

“I can well understand that. You know, I don’t have Indian blood, but I have Lawrence blood. And around these parts, that’s sometimes seen as being even worse.”

Jamie looked at her for a moment and considered her words. He’d never thought of it quite that way. He’d been angry when the daughter of his enemy had come to stay with them, but now he felt entirely different. “You know, we have a lot in common.”

She smiled and looked at her hands. “I think so too.”

“Maybe we can help each other more than we realize.”

CHAPTER 17

S
HE’S LEAVING.
S
HE’S TAKING OUR CHILDREN AND RETURNING
to Montana, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Cole kept hearing her words over and over in his head. Kept feeling them slice into his heart.

I could go with her—with them
.

“But how can I leave Ma to fend for herself? Especially now with her sprained wrist and bruised hip?”

Cole ran his fingers through his hair. He wanted to pull his hair out by the roots as the frustration of the moment washed over him again and again.
How can she say she loves me—yet leave me?

Cole had wrestled with the situation ever since the incident in which his mother had gotten hurt. He didn’t really believe Dianne had pushed her, even though from where he stood, it looked as if she’d done the deed. John and Lia had both told him what had happened. He hated himself for not letting Dianne have her say when she wanted to, because now she wasn’t talking at all. All that remained between them was a look of betrayal in her eyes that pierced him to the core of his being.

“Pa?”

Luke stood at the doorway looking almost afraid. Had his own son come to fear him? To despise him?

“What is it, Luke?”

“Why do you hate us?”

“What are you talking about? I don’t hate you. Did somebody tell you that?

Luke shook his head and lowered his gaze. “No, sir.”

“Then why would you say such a thing?”

“Well, you never talk to us no more. You don’t read us stories from the Bible like you used to. You never come tell us goodnight.”

Cole was instantly convicted. He was guilty on all accounts. “Son, I’ve just been busy. It certainly doesn’t mean I hate you.”

“Mama said you loved us, but you always used to tell me that when you loved somebody you made time for them. That’s why you spent time with us, you said. Now you don’t spend any time with us, so I figured—”

“Come here, Luke,” Cole interrupted.

Luke came across the room and looked up apprehensively. “Yes, sir?”

“Son, you’ll be eleven in December. You’re old enough to understand that sometimes folks have to sacrifice what’s important to them so that they can meet the needs of other people. Your grandmother is sad and she needs me. She’s heartbroken over the death of her husband. She feels alone and afraid.”

“Mama feels alone too. And she cries all the time, so I know she’s sad,” Luke said softly. “We need you as much as Grandma does.”

Cole knew his son’s words were true, but there were no easy answers. No way to resolve this without hurting someone. His wife and children were his first responsibility, but they were all very capable, while his mother was aging and not at all able to tend to the needs of a big farm.

He heard the wagon outside and knew that Cordelia or Laurel had come to care for their mother. This had become a daily event, and Cole hated it because they always insisted on berating him for Dianne’s actions.

“Son, my sister has come and I need to tend to the buggy. We can talk about this some more later on.”

He nodded. “Mama says we’re going home. I sure hope you’ll be coming with us.” He waited, as if hoping to hear Cole say something in response, but in truth there were no words Cole could offer his son. Luke’s expression fell and his shoulders hunched forward ever so slightly as he left the room.
He knows the truth,
Cole thought.
He knows I’m staying here. But why am I staying?

Cole waited until Luke had gone before heading outside. He wasn’t at all happy to have to deal with whatever his sister might say. Both Cordelia and Laurel believed that Dianne was a threat to their mother and had asked on more than one occasion for her to be removed from the house. Cole had already explained that Dianne intended to leave, but she’d taken ill the day after the accident and had been unable to go.
At least until today
. Dianne seemed recovered now and had spent the entire morning washing and packing.

His sisters had told him that her illness was God’s punishment for her meanness to their mother, but Cole didn’t believe that. Dianne was the light of his life. Her kindness and love had been a comfort to him through all sorts of trials and hardships.

“How can I let her leave without me?” he murmured, heading to the door to take care of the buggy for his sister.

But how can I leave Mother without help—without at least imposing some form of resolution on her regarding the farm?

The questions would not let him be. Neither would they be easily resolved.

To Cole’s surprise both Cordelia and Laurel were in the buggy. They were dressed in their city finery, looking for all the world as though they were heading out to a social function instead of visiting their ailing mother.

“We have to talk,” Cordelia demanded.

“Yes, Cole. We have to talk.”

“Well, talk then.” Cole’s irritation was evident as he helped them from the buggy. He knew they would simply harangue him again about Dianne and the incident.

“We do not feel that Mother is safe. If Dianne isn’t well enough to travel, then put her in a hotel,” Cordelia demanded.

“I suppose we could move to a hotel,” Cole said, knowing it wasn’t what they wanted to hear.

“We don’t want
you
to move to a hotel. Just your children and Dianne. Mother was quite vexed and hurt by Lia’s thievery.”

“And,” Laurel picked up where Cordelia left off, “by the boys’ rowdiness and constant noise.”

“Then of course,” Cordelia continued, “Mother is terrified that Dianne will do her harm while she’s unable to defend herself.”

“Stop.” He put as much force into the word as he could muster. Both his sisters seemed taken aback, but they said nothing. “Stop speaking against my wife in such a manner. She may not always do or say the things you’d like, but she has tried to get along with everyone. I can’t say that you’ve done the same with her.”

“Cole, you mustn’t be deceived by her,” Cordelia said, reaching out to take hold of him. “She isn’t the good woman you think. She’s had plenty to say behind your back. She’s not at all happy with you for keeping her from her beloved ranch, and she’s not afraid to speak out about it.”

He tried to show no reaction whatsoever. He wasn’t sure if Dianne had spoken to them about the ranch and her life here. He couldn’t imagine his wife sharing such intimate thoughts with his sisters.

“She isn’t happy here anyway. So let her go,” Laurel said firmly. “Stop trying to keep her here. She isn’t even being a proper wife to you.”

“How would you know?”

Laurel blushed. “Well … Mother … that is, she told us that you two weren’t even sharing the same room.”

“That’s ridiculous,” he replied. “Up until the day of Ma’s accident we were in the same room every night. I think you must have misunderstood. Even so, it’s none of your business.”

“Cole, Mother needs you. Laurel and I are happy to do our part, but she doesn’t want to live in the city.”

“If her health is so frail,” he said, remembering something Dianne had told him, “then surely the city is the perfect place for her.”

Laurel and Cordelia exchanged a rather panic-stricken expression.

Cordelia jumped in quickly. “She needs to be here on the farm. It’s important to her mental well-being. Even the doctor says so.”

“Well, it is
my
farm now. I should be able to make decisions about who lives here and who doesn’t. I should be able to decide about hiring help and seeing to whatever else needs attention.”

“You wouldn’t put Mother from her home, would you?” Cordelia gasped, putting her hand to her throat in a melodramatic manner.

“I never implied that.” He looked at each of his sisters and shook his head. “There’s just no easy answer in this.” He climbed into the buggy and looked down at his sisters. “Will you be here long? Should I unhitch the horses?”

“No,” Laurel said. “We have other appointments. You might as well know that we feel the need to speak to a lawyer on mother’s behalf. We’re not at all certain that charges shouldn’t be filed against Dianne for her actions. Perhaps she’s not entirely in control of her mental faculties. It might be best to let a doctor assess her and then tell us if she’s quite safe for others to be around.”

Cole jumped down from the buggy, not even bothering to reset the brake. “You listen to me, little sister. If you do go to a lawyer and file charges against my wife or seek to get her forced into some kind of asylum, I’ll take my family and leave this state so fast you won’t know what happened.” He pointed his finger first at Laurel and then Cordelia. “Dianne may not be perfect. She may not even be cordial where you two and Ma are concerned, but I will not stand by and watch my wife, the mother of my children, end up in jail because of some concocted story.”

His sisters looked notably stunned by his statement. Cole didn’t care, however. He’d had it with their threats and attitudes.

“I mean it,” he said sternly before turning to climb back into the buggy. “You do anything to hurt Dianne, and I’ll leave with her. I’ll sell this farm and pack Ma off to one of you and never return again.”

“You’re not listening to reason,” Cole declared as he followed Dianne and the children down the stairs. The boys and Dianne each carried one of their bags, packed and ready for their train trip home. It was the most difficult decision Dianne had ever had to make. Each step she made tore at her heart.
I’m really going. I’m leaving my husband. This isn’t right, but I can’t stay here. My children will suffer
. Just yesterday Cordelia had slapped John full across the face for running in the hall.

“I have a hired carriage coming for us,” Dianne explained. “You needn’t worry about leaving the farm even to take us the short distance to the station.” Her tone was pure sarcasm. If she distanced herself enough—made herself mad enough—then the pain would be less, wouldn’t it?

“I don’t want you to go,” Cole said softly.

She turned. “I can’t stay. You know that. Your family desires me to leave.” She turned to the children. “Go outside and wait for the carriage. Let me know when it comes.” They walked solemnly out the door. Dianne’s heart pounded as she saw their looks of fear and sorrow.

“Please stay,” he said, taking hold of her shoulders. “I know this has been difficult, but you shouldn’t just run away like this.

Give it another chance. I’ve told my sisters to leave you alone. I’ve even spoken to Ma.”

“Give them another chance to hit my children—to blame them for things they didn’t do?” she questioned. “Give them another chance to blame me for things I didn’t do?”

“Dianne, I can’t help what happened.”

“No, but you could have reacted differently. You could have believed me. You could have acted on the grounds that I’ve never lied to you—that I’ve been faithfully true to you, even when it hurt or frightened me. But instead, you chose to misunderstand—to believe what your mother told you.”

“I thought I’d seen what happened,” he said, his voice pleading. “Please understand, I was wrong. Lia and John both told me what happened, and I figure Ma misunderstood the moment. She probably got worked up and lost her balance and—”

“Stop it!” Dianne said between clenched teeth. “Stop making excuses for her. She wasn’t confused. She knew full well what she was doing. Stop trying to make it right, because it will never be right. Your mother has done nothing but manipulate and deceive you since our arrival. I’ll pray that God opens your eyes before it’s too late, Cole, but I won’t stay another day in this house—this town—or even this state.”

“You could at least listen to reason,” he answered in frustration edged in anger.

“Like you listened to me when I tried to explain?”

“I told you I was sorry.”

“I hope you are,” she said without emotion. “I hope you regret your choices, because I do. You’ve been a changed man since the fire—since we lost the ranch. You’ve been brooding and closed up. I’ve tried to be a good wife, and I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But I’ve tried to seek your forgiveness, to confess my sins to you, and for what? For this?” she said, waving her free arm. “For deception and accusations? For nothing but disapproval and pain?” Tears came to her eyes, making her even more angry. She hated appearing weak. Cole was silent as she wiped her tears with the back of her gloved hand, but his expression had changed from angry to concerned.