Tracie Peterson - [Land of the Lone Star 03] (9 page)

“Thanks again, Juanita.”

And then he was gone and the room seemed suddenly large and empty. She missed his presence. Carissa frowned. She had never felt that way about Malcolm. Not in the time they were courting, and certainly not after they wed.

“You don’t need so much,” Juanita said, interrupting her thoughts.

Carissa looked down at the huge mound of flour. “Oh, sorry. I was daydreaming.”

Juanita gave her an understanding smile. “Dreams are good . . . and sometimes they come true.”

T
hat night Ted and Marietta Terry came to supper at the Barnetts’. Carissa helped to put the last of the dinner on the table before taking Gloria in her arms. She was used to holding Gloria for meals, but it wouldn’t be all that long before the child could sit on her own.

“I don’t know why Andy gets to go on the cattle drive and I got to stay here,” ten-year-old Marty declared as she took the seat opposite Carissa. “I can ride better than he does, and I can lasso, too.”

“Girls don’t usually go on cattle drives,” Hannah declared. “At least not unless they absolutely have to.”

“Well . . . I have to,” Marty said in protest. Her long blond braids, coupled with the pout on her face, made her appear years younger.

Hannah shook her finger. “That’s not true, Miss Marty, and you know very well how I feel about you exaggerating things.”

“Cattle drives are hard work,” William added. “And you aren’t going to have any of the nice things you have here at home.”

“Besides, you’re too little to go on a cattle drive,” her brother declared. Andy plopped down in the seat beside his sister. “You couldn’t handle a stampede or calm the herd in a storm.”

“I wish you weren’t going, either,” Hannah said, looking at her brother. “You know how I feel about this, Andy. It’s dangerous.”

Will put his hand out to touch hers. “Remember we talked about this, and you agreed to stop fretting. Andy is nearly thirteen and that’s plenty old enough to drive cattle.”

“He’s right,” Ted said, helping Marietta to a seat. “Boys that young go all the time. They’re hardy and better able to endure the trail. Why, when I was his age I could drive a herd of a hundred by myself.”

“And walk on water when they came to river crossings,” Marietta added to everyone’s amusement.

Ted grinned. “Well, pert near. As I recall there was a time when you thought that highly of me.”

She smiled. “I still do, Teddy. I still do.”

One by one the others came to the table, and as Carissa settled into her seat, she found Tyler helping her. “Here, I’ll hold Gloria.” He swung the little girl up into his arms before Carissa could say a word.

She looked at him for a moment, seeing how pleased Gloria was at his attention. Tyler pretended to munch on the little girl’s neck and Gloria squealed.

“She certainly seems to enjoy you, Tyler,” Marietta said.

“She’s my special friend. Aren’t you?” he said, looking to Gloria.

“Yes. Tyer is my fwend.” Gloria wrapped her arms around his neck and pretended to return the munching.

Tyler laughed and sat down beside Carissa. “I’ll take her now.” Carissa held out her hands.

He didn’t even pretend to heed her instruction. “She’s fine with me.” Gloria quickly sat down on his lap and ignored her mother.

Carissa wasn’t sure what to say, especially since it seemed everyone was now looking to see what her reaction might be. She lowered her gaze to the empty plate and folded her hands. Her discomfort seemed to stretch as she waited for someone to offer grace.

“Let’s pray,” William finally declared.

Carissa breathed a sigh of relief and closed her eyes. She felt so confused. Life used to be much easier—as a young woman, she would flirt and bat her eyelashes at any man who captured her fancy. She was the belle of the ball, and they all vied for her attention. Then Malcolm came along, and she thought he’d hung the moon and stars. He was so good at convincing her of his love. How could she ever trust her heart again?

“He said amen,” Tyler whispered in her ear.

Carissa’s head snapped upward to find everyone busily passing platters and bowls. She looked at Tyler and realized he was the only one watching her. She gave him a weak smile. “I’m afraid I’m rather tired.”

“I don’t doubt it. You were hard at work every time I saw you today.”

Taking up the bowl of grits, Carissa put a portion on her plate and held the ladle up. “Would you like some grits?”

He smiled and nodded. “I sure do. And I wanna top it with some of that good pork gravy.” He looked to Gloria. “How about you, little gal? You want some grits?”

Gloria clapped her hands. “Grits are good. I want grits.”

He laughed and turned back to Carissa. “You heard the little lady.”

Carissa pointed to her plate. “She can eat off my plate.”

“Or mine,” he said as if it happened every day.

Ted Terry interrupted her thoughts. “I heard from our buyer in Abilene. Prices are on the rise. There’s a big demand for beef out of Chicago and New York. Our buyer feels confident he can get us top dollar. The sooner we can get there, the better. I have a feeling once word gets around, every man and his brother will be pushing beeves north.”

“So we might make more than forty a head?” William asked.

“That’s what I’m thinking,” Ted said, helping himself to some of the pork roast. “Maybe even as high as fifty.”

“That would bring us well over a hundred thousand,” William said, looking to Tyler. “Depending on how many head we lose, it might well bring us close to . . . a hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars.”

“That’s amazing,” Marietta said, shaking her head. “Three years ago we couldn’t give those animals away. I remember Ted selling five steers for ten dollars.”

“Apiece?” Carissa asked casually.

“No, for all five,” Marietta replied. “Two dollars a head. The war made it impossible to make any decent wage.”

“She’s right about that,” Ted agreed. He took two large pieces of corn bread and passed the platter to Tyler. “But now the entire world is starved for beef. The King ranch down Corpus way is shipping them out as fast as they can. I heard tell that Mr. King is going into the meatpacking business, as well.”

“Wouldn’t that require a lot of money, to keep the beef from going bad?” William asked. “I know they ship in ice cars on the rails, but our rail system isn’t the best.”

“King could be planning to send his beef out of Corpus on ships,” Brandon offered. “Packing a freighter full of ice would probably keep easier than a railcar.”

“Possibly. All I’m sayin’,” Ted continued, “is there are gonna be a load of opportunities for us in the future. I believe we can join our efforts to accomplish great things.”

“I am certainly all for that,” William replied.

Carissa noted that Tyler remained silent. She wondered if this was due to his uncertain future. She wished there was some way to offer him comfort. She wished her father and mother weren’t bound for Europe. Her father had many good friends among the former Unionists. Perhaps he could have helped Tyler get back his land.

“So did you ladies plan for how you will go about living together?” Marietta asked.

Hannah nodded. “We did indeed. We took your advice and made a list for each of us. The chores are shared among the women. We may even find ourselves with time to just rest and take it easy.”

“That’ll be the day,” William said with a snorted laugh. “I think the only time you sit still for more than a minute is at meals, and even then you’re up and down so much I very nearly get seasick.”

Chuckles sounded from around the table. Carissa watched as Hannah blushed and shook her head. “The only way to get things done is to do them.”

The meal continued in a pleasant, almost celebratory, spirit. Carissa listened to the men discuss the need for extra lassos and gloves. Marietta suggested taking a stack of wool blankets in case the weather turned cold.

“You can never tell about the weather. I’ve heard tell of snow in Kansas even into May. Best you go prepared,” she told them.

Hannah mentioned a new quilt pattern that she got in the mail, and Marietta and Laura seemed more than a little interested. Twice Carissa tried to take Gloria from Tyler, but neither the child nor the man showed any interest. She fretted that this arrangement somehow signaled to the others an intimacy she was not yet ready to concede. But by the time dessert was served, Carissa finally began to relax and realize that no one thought it strange that Tyler and Gloria should share the meal. This seemed even more apparent when Ted took young Robert Barnett from his high chair and bounced the boy on his knee.

The women cleared the table when everyone was done, and Marty took the children to play for a bit before bedtime. Carissa offered to help with the washing up, even though it wasn’t her night, but Hannah waved her off.

“Go talk to Tyler,” she suggested in a whisper.

Laura was standing close enough to hear and raised a brow in question. Carissa shrugged and moved toward the back porch. Laura wasn’t willing to be dismissed so easily.

“What did she mean by that? Is there a problem between you and Tyler?”

Carissa paused at the back door and shook her head. “No. Not really.”

“Then what did she mean?”

Meeting Laura’s concerned expression, Carissa drew a deep breath. “Hannah thinks that Tyler has feelings for me.”

“Well, that’s nothing new. I’ve felt that way for some time.”

“She thinks I should tell Tyler that I have feelings for him,” Carissa confessed.

“And do you?”

Carissa carefully weighed her response to Laura’s question. “I don’t want to have feelings for someone who may well die on this fool cattle drive.” That was easier to say than to explain her own fears regarding Malcolm and the past.

“What?”

“The drive is dangerous,” Carissa said, looking Laura square in the eye. “I know that my words might offer you more to worry about, but cattle drives are dangerous and passing through Indian Territory is just asking for trouble.”

“So you can’t have feelings for Tyler because he might die?”

Nodding in her discomfort, Carissa continued. “Yes. I’ve already endured so much, Laura. To risk my heart again seems foolish.”

“Well, I suppose this means that you will no longer have feelings for Gloria or Daniel.”

“What? Don’t talk crazy. I’ll never stop having feelings for them.”

“Well, children die all the time. Sickness comes and they are too little to fight it off.”

“That’s not the same, Laura. This is something the men are choosing to do. They are choosing to risk their lives.”

Laura nodded. “I see. Then you won’t be able to love me anymore.”

Carissa was growing quite frustrated. “What are you saying? Of course I love you.”

“But I chose to have another baby. Women often die in childbirth. So since I chose to risk my life, you cannot have feelings for me.”

Carissa could see Laura’s point. Her shoulders dropped a bit in defeat. “All right, so life is a risk and giving one’s heart is a part of it. But it doesn’t stop me from being afraid.”

Laura stepped forward and hugged her close. “No one said that it wouldn’t be hard. Loving someone isn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I hope you won’t let your fears, however, keep you from true happiness. Not all men are like Malcolm. In fact, I’m certain Tyler Atherton is nothing like Malcolm Lowe.”

“I agree, he isn’t.” She bit her lower lip and tried to make sense of the moment. Finally she glanced back at Laura. “I suppose I should talk to him. I mean, he’s shown such kindness and affection toward Gloria, and I know she needs a father.”

Laura shook her head. “Don’t just extend your heart to Tyler in order to get Gloria a father. You need to make certain you can love him all for yourself.”

At the mention of loving Tyler, Carissa felt her chest tighten. “I think I need to pray on this. I’ll speak to him in the morning.” And before Laura could say another word, Carissa pushed past her and went in search of Gloria.

T
he next morning proved to be pure pandemonium. Ted’s horse spooked and threw him, and the doctor had to be sent for. Carissa stepped up to cover for Hannah in the kitchen, and by the time she was free to go in search of Tyler, she was shocked to find him otherwise occupied.

A carriage was parked at the end of the walkway, and as William led the doctor into the house, Carissa caught sight of Tyler helping an attractive young woman down from the driver’s seat. Ducking back quickly, Carissa’s first thought was to leave as Tyler escorted the woman toward the house. But she couldn’t help but pause just around the corner of the house and listen to what was being said.

“I heard you were going on this cattle drive, and I knew I had to see you before you headed out. Since Dr. Sutton needed a ride, I thought I might as well be the one to give it.”

“That was mighty kind of you, Ava. I’m sure the doc appreciated the help.”

“I missed you coming to see me last night.” Her voice grew husky and sultry. “You nearly broke my heart, you know. I had my best meal ready, too. Just the way you like it.”

He laughed. “Well, you know how much I enjoy your food, Ava. Between you and Juanita, I’m hard-pressed to choose the best.”

“Well, I hope that my company puts the choice into proper perspective,” the woman replied. “After all, Juanita is happily married . . . while I am . . . well . . . still waiting to be.”

Tyler laughed. “Oh, it won’t be that long before you’re walking down the aisle.”

“Well, it’ll be at least a few months or more.” Her tone was coy and playful. “That seems like a very long time if you ask me.”

“Now, Ava, I know you’ve got plenty to keep you busy.”

Carissa felt her stomach churn at the woman’s shrill laughter. She said something in a raspy, low voice, but Carissa couldn’t make out the words. She did, however, hear Tyler’s reply nice and loud.

“That would definitely keep you busy, Ava.”

Feeling as though she might be ill, Carissa tried to move away but found her feet frozen in place. They were teasing as if courting. She’d been such a fool. Of course Tyler had a sweetheart. He had lived in this area for some time and no doubt had known this woman for a while.

“I brought you some spice cake to take on the trail. I know it’s your favorite.”

“That was mighty nice of you, Ava. I’m sure I’ll enjoy it—as I always do.”

“Well, since you couldn’t be there to enjoy it last night, I figured I would send some with you.”

“Hello, Ava,” Carissa heard William Barnett say as he joined the couple. “You are looking lovely today. Tyler tells me that you cook like a dream and sing like an angel.”

“You should join us sometime for supper. You could bring your wife. I met her once at the mercantile. She’s quite a beauty.”

“I think so,” Barnett replied.

His presence seemed to break the spell and Carissa slipped off toward the back of the house, her heart racing. She’d come so close to making a fool of herself! Hurrying past the horse pens, she saw a strange sight. Several men were gathered around, cheering on another young man as he ran and slid under the bottom post of the fence.

“You done it, Newt!” Andy Dandridge called. “You’re gonna be good at steer slidin’.”

Carissa frowned as the dusty young man jumped up and searched for his hat. Steer sliding? What in the world was that?

“Come on and do it again,” someone called.

A cheer went up and the young man climbed back over the fence, hat in hand, and made his way to the other side of the pen. For a moment Carissa was tempted to pause and watch, but she feared having to speak if one of the men noticed her. She spied Marty and Gloria playing with the new baby goats in a smaller pen attached to the far side of the barn and made her way to where they were.

“See the babies, Mama,” Gloria said, running to the little gate. “Come see.”

Carissa carefully entered the pen and was immediately set upon by six baby goats. “Where are their mamas?” she asked Marty.

“Juanita is milking them. The kids are being weaned, so we’re playin’ with them to keep them busy.”

Carissa knelt in the dirt and straw. A small brown-and-white kid immediately came to her, looking for a treat. She smiled, trying hard to put aside her embarrassment at what had just happened. She hated herself for very nearly yielding her heart—especially to a man whose interest obviously lay elsewhere. She felt tears come to her eyes and buried her face in the soft fur of the baby goat. The animal protested, causing Gloria to giggle. She came to her mother’s side and patted Carissa’s back.

“You squeezin’ him too tight.”

Releasing the kid, Carissa looked at her daughter’s happy expression and wanted to cry all the more. She had thought Tyler might make a good father for Gloria.

“Marty, can you take these inside for me?” Juanita said, bringing two pails from the barn.

“Sure,” the girl said, getting to her feet. She bounded over the fence as if she were one of the boys and grabbed the buckets. Glancing over her shoulder, she looked hesitant. “I’ll be right back.”

“Go ahead,” Carissa said. “I’ll take Gloria with me to do chores.”

She started to get to her feet as Marty made her way to the house. But Gloria nearly pushed her over backward as she raced to the gate, calling the one name Carissa had hoped to avoid hearing.

“Tyer! Tyer, you come see the babies!”

“I’d rather come see you,” he declared and reached over the fence to pull Gloria into his arms.

Carissa straightened and got to her feet, dusting off dirt from her skirt as she stood. She kept her gaze fixed on the dust smudges to keep from having to face Tyler.

“You two look like you’re havin’ a good time.”

“We played with the goats. You can play, too.”

“No, I’m afraid I have to go. I just wanted to come tell you to be good for your mama until I get back.”

Gloria wrapped her arms around Tyler’s neck. “Don’t go away.”

Carissa tried hard to be strong. She walked toward the man and her child. “Gloria, stop it now. Tyler has to go.”

“But he can stay,” Gloria declared. She pulled back and took Tyler’s face in her hands. “I wuv you, Tyer.”

Her daughter’s words hit Carissa hard. She swallowed back a sob that seemed to work its way up from her very soul. She hadn’t ever thought to give her heart to another man, and surely she hadn’t really given it to Tyler Atherton. But if not, then why did this hurt so much?

Tyler had never known such joy as when Gloria Lowe declared her love for him. He supposed the only thing that might have made the moment perfect was if her mother had done the same. Instead, Carissa was acting rather aloof—almost put out with him.

“I love you, too, darlin’,” he told Gloria. He glanced at Carissa and smiled. “It’s good to see a lady who knows her heart.”

Carissa all but snapped back, “Well, it seems to me there are a lot of women around here who know their hearts.”

Tyler laughed. “That’s true enough. You should hear Marietta in there. She’s threatened to all but shoot Ted if he doesn’t stay in bed. The doctor told him he’s dislocated his hip and might have even broken it. He can’t go on the drive.”

The stern look on Carissa’s face melted away to concern. “Oh no. That’s awful. I hope he’ll be all right.”

“Ted’s a tough character. He’ll get on just fine—especially since Hannah has informed him that he and Marietta will remain here until he’s healed. That man will get more attention and fussin’ than a fella could ever want.”

“Still, I know he had his heart set on going with you to Kansas.”

Tyler watched Carissa for a moment. Something about her seemed different—almost hard. Was she upset about his leaving? Did he dare to hope that she was going to miss him?

“Come on, Gloria. We need to get our chores done.” Carissa stepped from the pen and secured the latch.

“I wanna go wif Tyer.”

Carissa came to take the girl from Tyler’s arms, but Gloria wanted no part of it. “Now don’t make a fuss,” Tyler told Gloria. “If you’re good for your mama, I’ll bring you back a present.”

“A pwesent?” she asked in awe. “And a pwesent for Mama?”

Tyler watched as Carissa’s cheeks reddened. She ducked her head as if embarrassed, but Tyler thought it endearing. “Of course I’ll bring a present for your mama. What do you think I should get her?”

Gloria shook her head. “Don’t know.”

“Come on, Gloria. I need to get to work.” Carissa all but ripped the child away from him.

Tyler frowned. “You know it can wait. Why don’t you tell me what’s really botherin’ you.”

Carissa shook her head. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind. It’s a busy morning. You all are leaving, and I have to think about our safety. I’m still not a very good shot, after all.”

“So you’re worried about Indian attacks, is that it?”

She straightened and met his gaze. “Of course. What else would there be?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s enough, huh?” He tried not to care that her words sounded cold and indifferent to him. “But I think you’ll be just fine. Even Doc said that there hasn’t been any word of problems lately. I think the army has probably got them on the run.”

“Good. I hope so.”

Gloria began wiggling to be put down. “There’s Marty. I wanna go play.”

Carissa let her daughter go, and Tyler couldn’t help but use the opportunity to speak. “I think you shouldn’t worry so much. You told me that your faith in God is stronger than it has ever been. I think that’s what you have to focus on now.”

She seemed puzzled for a moment, almost as if trying to interpret what he’d said. Tyler started to say something else, but Carissa spoke up. “Hannah has offered to help me study the Bible. I think I shall do a lot of focusing on God. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

“I’ll be leavin’ in just a few minutes,” he said. “I wanted to be sure and tell you good-bye.”

“Good-bye,” she replied and walked toward the barn.

Tyler couldn’t help himself. “Wait a minute. That’s it?” The night before she’d seemed so receptive to his attention. She’d let him feed Gloria and sit beside her as if they were a family. Now she acted as though he ought to be in quarantine.

Carissa turned and looked at him with a frown. “Was there something else?”

He crossed the distance between them. “I don’t know—you tell me. You seem angry. Did I do something to upset you, or is this just about the cattle drive? I know you don’t think it’s wise.”

“I don’t, but no one really asked me what I thought,” she replied in a curt manner. “They never do.”

“Don’t let your fears turn you bitter,” he said with a touch of a smile to soften the comment.

She seemed stunned and shook her head. “I’m not bitter.”

“I didn’t say you were,” he began. “I said don’t let fear make you that way. It’s an easy place to go, believe me. I know firsthand.”

“Tyler!” Ava Lambert called as she rounded the corner of the house.

Tyler turned and waved. “I’m over here.”

“Will said to find you. I think he’s ready to head out.” She joined him and smiled at Carissa. “I don’t believe I’ve met you yet. I’m Ava Lambert.”

Tyler didn’t wait for Carissa to reply. “This is Carissa Lowe. She’s Laura’s sister.”

“Oh yes, I met her in the house,” Ava said, still smiling. “It’s nice to meet you, Carissa. I’m sure we’ll be the best of friends.”

Tyler saw Carissa stiffen and her brows knit together. “I’m sure, but for now I need to go. Have a good day.” She hurried away and disappeared into the barn.

“Well, she doesn’t seem to like me,” Ava said with a bit of a pout.

“She’s a troubled soul,” Tyler said, frowning. “She’s been through more than you’d know.”

Ava’s expression softened, and she put her arm through Tyler’s to lead him back to the house. “There are a great many wounded souls in the world, Tyler. Her heartbreak isn’t the first, and it certainly won’t be the last.”

“I suppose not,” Tyler said, “but her heart is mighty important to me.”

Ava shook her head. “I don’t think there’s enough of her heart left intact, Tyler. You might want to reconsider. After all, I got enough heart for the both of us.”

He shook his head. “Ain’t nothin’ to reconsider.”