Traded (9 page)

“It may still not be. You don’t know that for sure. We won’t know until the baby’s born.” Samuel touched her hand.

Jake didn’t know what came over him. He let out a rough laugh that didn’t make him feel any better in this messed-up situation. “Oh my good God, Jill. So you left me, went back to my brother, and hopped right into bed with him? Talk about blurred lines, baby. You knew before that you could have been pregnant with my kid, so I’m confused about why you’re here. I thought you came here to do the right thing—or is it that you’re trying to figure out which brother to marry?”

“No! I came here to tell you I was pregnant, but I know you already knew, because you asked me on the phone. You have no idea how many times the question crossed my mind when I found out. Did you plan this? And yes, I slept with your brother, and maybe it was wrong of me to do what I did, but I can’t help the way I feel. I love Samuel. I always will.”

Jake was trying to figure out how to make sense of this situation. He knew that of all the stupid-ass, clingy things he’d done, not using protection was something he’d never thought he’d stoop to. He wished now he could go back and undo all of it.

“You went after my girl, Jake,” Samuel snapped.

“No! The moment you moved in on another woman in front of her, you lost her, but then, Jill, you seem to have forgotten all of that. Maybe you two do deserve each other.”

Samuel could move fast when he wanted to, and he had Jake pushed back over the dresser. A clock fell to the floor, a tray of glasses crashing to the carpet with it. Jake was caught off guard, but he jammed his hands between them and punched Samuel in the stomach, then elbowed him in the face to get him to back off. Blood dripped from his nose, and Jill yelled, moving between them.

Jake brushed past them and pulled open the door. “Samuel, I want you gone by the time I get back.” He glanced back at his brother and the woman he’d been twisted up inside over and then left, letting the door close behind him. He didn’t wait for the elevator but pushed open the door to the stairwell, pounding down the stairs two at a time so he could get outside, get some air, and figure out what the hell he was going to do next.

When Jake let himself back into his hotel room, he expected it to be empty. Instead, he found Jill sitting on the bed with a tear-stained face. When she glanced up at him, she looked so miserable.

“I’m so sorry, Jake,” she whispered, and she really sounded as if she was.

He squeezed the paper cup of lukewarm coffee as he walked into the room, looking around just to make sure his brother wasn’t still there. “Where’s Samuel?”

“He left. I told him I needed to talk to you, which is why I came last night.”

He nodded and sat in the chair against the wall. Jill clasped her hands and shoved them between her legs. She looked so nervous, something he’d never seen in her before, not with him.

“Are you staying with my brother?” he asked. Maybe he needed all the ugly truth.

“Yes, I am. I know without a doubt that I love Samuel in a way I can’t love you. I need to be with him. I wish I could love you, because you’re better for me.” She appeared so sad.

Jake nodded. At one time, this would have gutted him. Now he just felt numb. “So what are your plans?”

“That all depends on you.”

“I don’t see how any of this depends on me.” He gestured in the air, because he couldn’t figure out what she really wanted. He realized, too, that he never had understood Jill or what she was thinking.

She sighed. It sounded so soft, as if she’d put a lot of thought into whatever it was she needed to say. “You are an amazing man, Jake Wilde, and you are the best friend a girl could ever have. I never really thought of the consequences of what I was doing with you. It really sunk in when Samuel came after me. Seeing him here this morning…you and Samuel, as close as you once were, will end up hating each other. I don’t want that. I need you to forgive me, to forgive him. I’m responsible for this, and I don’t want to carry that.”

Was she serious? “Jill, it doesn’t work that way. I can’t just forgive and forget.”

“Then do it for me. Please, Jake, I don’t think I can live with the fact that I was the reason that you and Samuel hate each other. You two were best friends, and if you’re honest with yourself, Jake, you aren’t entirely blameless here. You were his brother, and even though what he did was really bad, you moved in on me, your brother’s ex. I was vulnerable.”

He hated having someone point out something he already knew. After all, it was Logan who’d first warned him how he was walking on dangerous ground. “You were willing, Jill, so it’s not all on me.”

“No, it’s not. I hold a lot of blame here. I was hurt and not thinking clearly, and you provided me a strong shoulder to lean on. What happened was inevitable, I think. You’re charming, you’re unbelievably handsome, you’re a great listener, and you made me feel better.”

“But you never loved me.” Even as he said it, it stung, but not as it once had. He was sad.

“No, I wanted to. Tried to convince myself that I did, but you can’t make yourself love someone.”

“And the baby?” He had to know what was going through her head. “You left me and went right back to my brother and climbed into his bed, and now you have no idea if it’s his or mine. Did you do it deliberately?” He’d never thought she’d be capable of something like that, knowing she might be pregnant with his kid and sleeping with someone else so she’d never really know.

“Yes, I did.”

“So you really don’t know whose baby this is?”

A tear slid down her face, and she shook her head. “No. I’m sorry. It just happened.”

“If this is mine, I won’t simply walk away, you know. This child will have a father, and it won’t be Samuel. It will be me.”

“He feels the same. The thing is, though, Jake, I love him, and I want to have a future with Samuel. I need you to be okay with this, to be okay with me and Samuel. I need you to let Samuel raise this baby, to let it go, for you to be okay with it being his.”

“What is this, Jill? You show up here last night, barge in on me and my friend, and practically chase her out of here, making me feel as if I cheated on you. Are you expecting me to be waiting on the sidelines, alone?”

She stood up from the bed, her cheeks flushed. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me, but I didn’t expect you to be here with another woman, and I was jealous. I didn’t have a right to be, I know that. All I can say is I’m sorry.”

“I see.” And he did see.

She reached for her bag and slipped it over her shoulder.

“So where is Samuel?”

“He’s waiting for me downstairs.”

“So what happens now?” He watched as she fiddled with her strap, nervous.

“I am going back to Seattle with Samuel. I’m going to marry him. I need this to work, Jake. I need you to let us be so we can move on. When the baby’s born, I’ll let you know whose it is.”

“What, and we let the chips fall where they may?”

She sighed and looked up. “I’m sorry, Jake. I never meant to hurt you, but this is the way it needs to be.”

If it had been any other time, he’d have stood up, gone to her, and said anything to change her mind. He’d have gone after her, fought for her, but that time had long since passed. What Jake did, as he lounged in that hotel chair, was wonder why the choices he’d made had turned out so badly.

Chris taped up the last of the boxes in her living room. It had been a quick decision, but after listening to Myles, she’d realized he made a lot of sense. It was time to leave Phoenix and make a new start. She knew she couldn’t be that girl, hung up on a guy, pining for him, always waiting and watching from the sidelines. It would eat her up to the point that she knew she’d become bitter, and she didn’t want to go there. She’d quit her job, the team, and had nothing else left to do except wait for Myles to show up with the truck to have her stuff loaded and shipped to his new place in Nashville. She’d stay with him for now. It would be better. It would be good enough until she found her feet again, a job. Maybe it was time to go to law school. She had a lot to consider and time to do it.

There was a knock on her door. It had to be Myles. He’d said he just needed to run home and then he’d be back.

“So did you forget the key I gave you?” She opened the door smiling, and it froze on her lips. Jake was leaning in the doorway, wearing blue jeans and a fitted green t-shirt. She sucked in a breath. She knew how good he looked naked and how great he felt doing all those wonderful, naughty things to her.

For a minute, they just stared at each other.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

She should’ve said no, close the door in his face, but the way he watched her, staring her down, she just couldn’t. She was a sucker for this man. So she stepped aside and let him in, shutting the door. She watched him take in her small one bedroom with the stacked boxes taped up and ready to be carried out.

“Are you going somewhere?”

“I’m going to Nashville. Myles got a position coaching, and I’m going with him. Decided it was time for a fresh start.” It was true, and the fact was that she couldn’t bear seeing Jake on that football field anymore…standing on the sidelines, cheering the team, cheering Jake. Sleeping with Jake had been the best and most humiliating experience of her life.

“Why are you leaving?”

She couldn’t believe he was asking her that. Why would he care? She’d be gone. He should’ve been relieved she was going and he wouldn’t have to see her again. She was making this easy for him.

“One too many mistakes, I think,” she said—but sleeping with Jake hadn’t been a mistake. She’d loved it, and she wanted more, but she wasn’t going down that road again. It was a heartache she knew would eventually rip her apart, and this time she didn’t know if she’d be able to put herself back together.

“Like me, am I a mistake?” He stepped closer to her but didn’t touch her. His eyes were filled with intense hurt and confusion and something else she couldn’t make sense of.

“Jake, you have your girlfriend back, and I’m not interested in being someone’s seconds. I like myself. I’m a good person, and I have feelings. I hurt, I bleed. Let’s just chalk it up to a fun night we had and leave it at that.”

“I don’t have Jill back.” He leaned against her bookshelf, so close to her that she could’ve reached out and touched him. The way he said it, she wondered if he was mourning the loss. She couldn’t figure it out, but then, did she really want to?

“What happened? I mean, the girl who showed up at the door was far from pleased to see me, and the way she threw herself at you—”

“She’s pregnant,” he bit out. “But she thinks it may be my brother’s. She doesn’t know.”

“So…I don’t understand.” She tilted her head, because she really didn’t get it.

“My brother showed up, too. Apparently, she plans to marry him.”

She wanted to say a lot of things about how fucked up that sounded. What was wrong with that woman, Jake, and his brother? From where she was standing, thinking back on that humiliating moment and all that Jake had shared, it appeared as if this girlfriend couldn’t figure out what she wanted. Maybe she wanted both men. “So where does that leave you?”

“Where does that leave me?” he asked, sounding confused by her question. “Hell, I don’t know, but I know I don’t want any of that situation.”

The way he was watching her, Chris wanted to step back and move farther away. “I’ll never play seconds to anyone, Jake, and I’m not an afterthought.”

“Of course you’re not. Chris, you’re wonderful, you’re my friend, and I never realized how much I’ve come to care for you in such a short time. When Jill came back, I realized how wrong I’d been. You were right about so many things. Jill and I could never work. She’s not you.”

“And the baby? What are you going to do when the baby comes?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t figured it all out yet, but if it’s my kid, I want a relationship with it. I will be involved. What kind of man would I be if I just walked away?”

“That’s good, Jake. Doesn’t sound like a great situation.” No, it sounded like Jill had run straight to his brother and climbed into bed—not something she could ever do. This was a woman Chris didn’t want to know.

“It’s the worst, considering they’d both like me to go away.” He was confiding in her like the buddy she’d become to him, a crutch to lean on, but she couldn’t be that person anymore, not with Jake.

“Did you know that I was involved with Troy Sutherland?” she said. Why was she telling him this? She’d never told anyone. It was too painful to share how pathetic she’d become.

He frowned, and she could see him thinking. “He played right wing with the Cardinals before he was traded,” he replied. He appeared to be wondering why she’d brought him up.

“That’s him. Myles warned me off, told me to stay away from the guys on the team. They weren’t for a girl like me. I didn’t listen. I loved his interest. I thought it was real.” She knew she had all his attention, and maybe he had some idea where she was going. “I was into him. I fell head over heels, but apparently he wasn’t as into me. I was something to pass his time, some amusement. When he was traded, he left. I was devastated, even tried to tell myself that he cared, he just didn’t realize how much.

“So I called a lot, left messages. I lost count of how many times I called. He called me back a few times, kept it light—you know, friend stuff, kind of like what you’re doing now.” She gestured between her and Jake. “But he pulled back, way back. I was hurting, I ached, so I pushed harder. He called my brother, told him to talk to me. He wanted me to back off, stop calling, but I didn’t listen, because I was so in love with him and desperate. I told myself Myles didn’t really understand. The next call I made to Troy had the cops knocking on my door the same day, and they explained to me that he didn’t want to be contacted anymore and I needed to stop calling him. If I didn’t, I could find myself in serious trouble.” Her chest tightened as she relived that humiliating moment. For the first time ever, she’d felt as if she were a criminal.