Trading Paint (Racing on the Edge) (11 page)

“I fucked up,” I muttered watching her trace the outlines of a two-inch scar she had on her left knee from when she fell trying to escape from being chased by a bull the first summer we met.

“Who doesn’t fuck up at one time or another? You just need to focus.” Sway said. “Too many distractions
...
you know?” her knees knocked against mine.

“Yeah, I guess. What did Chelsea say to you?” I asked. I crossed my arms over my knees, resting my forehead against my forearms.

“Nothing really
...
normal high school insecurity shit
...
the usual for her.”

“Figures,”

“Why do you even bother with her?”

“I have no fucking clue.”

I didn’t have a clue either. I didn’t love Chelsea. I hardly even liked her. There wasn’t a single redeeming quality about her but yet I found myself giving in to her. I began to comprehend I was comfortable with her for some reason. I knew she was using me but it seemed tolerable because I was doing the same thing. No one would get hurt because it meant nothing.

Once we arrived home, my mom, who had stayed up, caught me before I made it into my room. Her face was the same shade as dad’s was earlier which confirmed my theory he told on me.

“I will not have my son acting like a spoiled asshole all the time!” she said pushing me against the wall. I offered a grin down at her but that didn’t work. “Your dad told me what you did at the track.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“Jameson
...
you need to pull your head out of your ass. Your dad is trying to help you. Judging by that hauler outside,
you
need help!” She poked my chest before walking down the hall and slamming her door shut.

Dad strolled up the steps as I sat in the hallway. I had intended to go to my room but instead sat in the hallway.

He didn’t say anything, just smirked, as he made his way past me to their room. It was late, at least two in the morning by now but mom always waited up for him when she knew he’d
be
home.

I never paid real close attention to the relationship they had but I knew it was a good one. I’d never seen them fight at least. She’d tell him to shut the fuck up at times but they never all out argued, at least not in front of us kids.

With the lifestyle we lived, you would think it would cause tension for them but it never seemed to, from what I saw.

Picking myself off the floor, I made my way inside my room and was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was exhausted.

I ended up working off
everything
I broke in the hauler that night and wasn’t allowed to race the following weekend. Not because dad wouldn’t let me but because my hand was most certainly broken.

I skipped school that week to get my car ready for Chico the following weekend. I had some shit to fix on it.

Sway stopped by after school on Thursday to help me when Chelsea showed up not long after that.

The door had been locked so I’ll give you one guess as to who I have to thank for unlocking it. Spencer.

“So I’m not allowed to come by but she is?” Chelsea asked standing by the door.

I caught a brief glimpse of Spencer before I heard his annoying booming laughter as he trucked back to the house.

“I’d help you hide their bodies if needed.” Sway said with a smile and a glare at Chelsea.

Chelsea looked ridiculous dressed in a white summer dress. But that wasn’t what was so ridiculous. It was her attempt at looking like she was heading out for a strip club was with heels that could kill someone.

Sway,
who’d
been roughing tires, stood and brushed the rubber shavings from her worn jeans.

“I’m going to go talk to Emma. I’ll be back later.”

My eyes shot to hers, frantically pleading for her not to leave me alone but she didn’t. I growled at her, actually growled and then turned toward Chelsea.

“What do you want?”

“You,”

Chuckling to myself, I turned and walked back to my car to finish welding the torsion bars.

She followed and approached me from behind. Leaning against my back, she wrapped her arms around my waist, slipping them down my hips.

I caught her hand before it slipped inside my jeans.

“I need
...
you to leave.” I told her trying to control my emotions and not freak out. “I have
work
to do.”

“I can take care of you,” she offered kissing down the side of my neck. It felt good, but it also felt wrong. While her touch physically felt welcoming, the emotions I felt weren’t.

“I don’t think so. I have a lot of work to do here.”

“Are you really that mad at me? I only told Sway she should keep her hands off
my
boyfriend. I hardly think that’s cause for the silent treatment.”

I threw the torsion bar across the shop, the crack it made when it hit the metal doors forced Chelsea to step backward, her face frightened.

“Get the fuck out of here!” I yelled without turning around to look at her. “I mean it. You need to leave.”

Her heels clicked loudly as she stomped away, slamming the door behind her.

I knew I would eventually turn back to Chelsea, as I always did but I also knew in that moment that if she so much as mentioned Sway’s name again, I would have thrown the torsion bar at her.

I only wanted to race but because I was seventeen and my hormones seemed to rule over my actions I found myself wrapped up in the middle of this bullshit.

Something had to give and I knew what it was. Me. I couldn’t take much more of any of this and it wasn’t what I should be focusing on.

That weekend was our senior prom and after last weekend I wanted nothing to do with anything related to high school. I needed to be alone. Chelsea wanted me to go to prom and asked endlessly the following day despite my snide comments to her. I could care less what she thought. The one I was worried about was Sway.

I could tell Sway wanted to come with me to Chico but I didn’t want her following me around and forgoing any normal high school experience. When Cooper Young came to me earlier in the week asking if I thought she’d say yes, I honestly told him she wouldn’t go but after some convincing on my part, she said yes to him. I hated that she was going with him but on the other hand I would rather she went with him instead of Dylan.

The drive to Chico was not the same without Sway harassing me about my music choices although Spencer more than made up for it. I almost threw him out once we reached Portland and he stuck in a Britney Spears CD. Not having any pit crew this weekend I endured it.

Justin, whose hauler was parked next to ours, approached me after I made it into the pits while Spencer and I were unloading my car.

“Hey dude, can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked leaning against the side of my car, his arms crossed over his chest.

I nodded. I hadn’t said much to him since the wreck two weeks ago in Skagit. Part of me felt I needed to apologize but the other part thought it’s just racing. I never expected anyone to apologize to me after wrecking so why should he?

He surprised me though when we made our way over to the concession stands.

“Hey Ami, can we get some service around here?” Justin teased handing her a twenty. “I’d like a beer.” He told her with a grin.

“Yeah, sure,” she smiled at Justin. “In four more years’ sweetie,”

Justin laughed leaning against the counter. “Fine then, I’ll take a hamburger and coke.” He nodded his head back toward me. “And whatever he wants,”

“I can cover it Justin.” I said pushing his money aside and handing her another twenty.

“After Skagit
...
you owe me. Just let me buy this.”

I laughed. “So I wreck you and you buy me dinner. Isn’t that a little backward?”

“Probably,”

Ami handed us our food and we walked back to the haulers. “Listen
...
I wasn’t going to say anything last week
...
I knew you had your hands full with
...
women problems but I would hate for you to lose any chance at a sponsor because of it. They’re not worth it.”

“You have your fair share too?” Justin was definitely a favorite among the women at the track. He usually had three or four around him at all times.

“Yeah
...
after a while though
...
they only want one thing,”

I nodded taking a bite of my hamburger and then a long pull from my drink. “They do complicate things, don’t they?”

“That they do
...
wait until you find one you love. That’s when the shit really hits the fan.”

“And I take it you found one?”

He smiled looking over his shoulder at the pit concession where Ami was. “Yeah, she’s pretty special to me.” he turned his gaze back to me. “Just remember why you do what you do. If you want it bad enough, everything else falls away. Look at Jimi, he knew what he wanted and look at him now.”

Justin had dreams of racing in the World of Outlaw series someday so he looked up to my dad, as I did but I wanted more than just that.

I wanted to race sprints but I also thought maybe there would be something more for me out there. Not sure which way to go, I decided for now USAC was the way after graduation. With three different series’ to compete in, I could strive for the Triple Crown National title and that was where my interest was. Justin competed in USAC events as well but he attempted to qualify for
every
World of Outlaw race he could. Funny enough, he did qualify for most of them.

That night I broke the 410-Sprint track-record of 10.918 that was held by Tate Harris, a NASCAR Cup driver out of Charlotte with a new record of 10.032.

It was a good night that got even better when I won the A-Feature with an entire lap lead on Justin. Compared to that weekend at Skagit, I was on fire. It took me a good hour for the adrenaline to subside and stop shaking from the thrill of the win.

Justin and I talked again after the race with Cody Bowman. Cody was twenty-one now so of course he brought us over some beer as we sat around the haulers.

“You two did
good
tonight,” Cody said hunching over a stack of rear tires lined up right outside the doors of my hauler.

Justin glared toward Cody as they didn’t get along. Not sure why. All I knew was if they were on the track together, one was trying to take the other out.

Cody left with Spencer after that to go check out a group of girls that had gathered near the gates. Though Spencer was now dating Alley on a regular basis, it didn’t stop him from eyeing the opposite sex.

Justin watched me closely as I sent a text to
Sway
letting her know where I had finished. I promised I would and knew that if I didn’t, she’d have my ass when I got home.

“What’s with you and Sway?” he asked patiently gauging my reaction.

“She’s my best friend,” I shrugged. “Not much to explain. It’s not what you think though.” I added.

Justin scoffed. “Yeah—sure,”

“It’s not,”

“Really?” he countered. “I see the way you watch her
...
she’s more to you than that. You just haven’t convinced yourself of that.”

Was she more? Well of course she was but I was also not willing to take any chances. What Sway and I had was good so why complicate it for the unknown just because I was physically attracted to her?

No one seemed to understand me.

I had my reasons and they were mine. They may be wrong but they were still mine. Sway never asked me to be someone else. She never asked me to change and when the weight of the world was on me, she was there, lifting it away. But that’s exactly why I wasn’t willing to change anything. This worked for me. She was mine, just in other ways.
My friend.

A friend was exactly what I needed right now. I didn’t need complicated. I
needed
to keep focused. I
needed
to be the best. I
needed
unrivaled greatness and to do that, I
needed
to be vigilantly focused.

Easier said than done when you’re seventeen but I also knew if there was one thing I was good at, it was being vigilantly focused on what I wanted
...
racing.

6.
    
Ignition – Jameson

Ignition – An electrical system used to ignite the air-fuel mixture in an internal combustion engine.

“Hey, you ready for tonight?” Sway asked approaching my locker.

Her hair was pulled back under her white Bowman Oil Racing baseball hat. The contrast against her dark hair made her green eyes stand out.