Trading Paint (Racing on the Edge) (32 page)

The thought that Sway wasn’t there any longer was maddening to me and being suspended was the cake topper. I couldn’t control myself. I even went as far as punching my own brother when he got in the way of that Wheeler fucker and me earlier in the night.

An hour later, I sat there curled up on the floor of the shower, my knuckles bleeding from the blunt forces. I was almost positive a few bones were broken in my hand but then again, I couldn’t feel the pain. I could only feel the constant ache thinking of her alone at college without me but worst of all, me without her.

That night while the water washed away the debris from my engine failure, I contemplated not racing anymore. For the first time in my career, I thought maybe this wasn’t for me.

In the morning, when I was testing in Lernerville with a broken hand, I realized why I could never quit racing.

Comparing Sway to an engine, she’s the oil and what holds me together and keeps me running smoothly but racing makes up my engine. It’s the pistons, the bearings, the values and the headers.

Without racing, there would be nothing for her to lubricate and I wouldn’t be a running engine. It’s
all
I’ve ever known and
will
ever know because that was me. Even though I had been running in the red for years, my engine had finally blown.

I knew the first step to a rebuild of an engine failure.

Now was the time to tear it apart and figure out where the mechanical failure had gone wrong in the first place and then rebuild it. I needed to drain the coolant, disconnect all the hoses and start from scratch.

15.
              
Dirt Tracking – Jameson

Dirt Tracking – Driving hard into a corner on a paved track causing the rear end to swing out wide as if on a dirt surface.

        Discovering why an engine failed isn’t always an easy process. There are times when the failure is unexpected. One minute you’re riding around the track, passing cars and gaining positions and then the next thing you know all that power is gone, and it just blows. No warning, no shaking, just blows.

I knew why I my engine failed.

I was poorly lubricated, overheated daily, had too much heat and pressure, and my bearings were misaligned.

I had no choice now but to disassemble, clean, inspect and rebuild.

“Everything I’m doing is for a reason. This is what I wanted.”

No matter how many times I told myself that, I still wondered what would be different if I didn’t let Sway leave.

Not that I could have stopped her had I told her I felt something; that I just didn’t understand if that something was more.

Would that have stopped the engine failure?

Probably not.
Regardless, something had to give. I’d been running in the red too long.

Sway was always there. If I called in the middle of the night needing reassurance, she was there no matter what. Even though she wasn’t physically with me, she stood by me through it all. Despite being crabby and irritable most of the time, she was there talking me through it. She knew to leave me alone when I needed solitude and supported me when no one else did.

We talked often. She flew out to see me whenever she could and I even made the occasional trip to Bellingham. Sure, I made use of it by racing up at Skagit but I got to see Sway and that was the real reason.

During my 2000 season, I needed all the seat time I could get as my season was a string of shoddy performances in the USAC divisions. I was hanging strong with the World of Outlaws and even contemplated running their season full-time next year with a car from my dad.

It had been a while since I had last seen Sway as she had been concentrating on finals and my schedule had been tight so I sat alone in the hauler prior to the opening night of Las Vegas Nationals for the World of Outlaws and talked to her on the phone.

“Everyone knows you around here. They keep asking me if I know you!” Sway chimed. She seemed in good spirits today after her finals. It was now the middle of April and soon she’d be on spring break and I couldn’t wait for spring break.

“And you say?”

“I say nah, I don’t know him. I hear he’s an asshole though.” She laughed.

“That’s what they all say.” I laughed. Leaning down to pick up the shock on the floor of the hauler, I continued our conversation. “So when do I get to see your smiling face again. I miss you.”

“Um
...
well my finals are finished now so I was thinking by the time you are in Eldora I could come and see you.”

We had planned on her coming to Eldora eventually for the Kings Royal in July but May sounded a whole hell of a lot better to me.

My mood improved immensely.

“That would be good. I could use some Sway time.”

“I could use some Jameson time,” she sighed contently. “No one gets me here. They all look at me like I’m crazy.”

“You are crazy.”

“I know but jeez
...
they don’t have to look at me weird all the time.”

“Who looks at you weird?”

“Other girls,”

“They’re just jealous because you’re so hot.”

“Thanks,” she replied sarcastically and then laughed.

Spencer opened the door to the hauler and stuck his head inside. “You’re up for hot laps.”

I nodded and then yanked the door closed.

“Hey
Sway,
I
gotta
go
...
call you after the race?”

“Yeah, sure, good luck tonight.”

“Thanks,” I said before bolting out the door.

I made fast time, no surprise there but I didn’t think people noticed until I got back to the pits, my grin ratted me out when a pregnant Alley came waddling up to me with a clip board.

“Must have talked with Sway,”

My grin widened and thankfully I hadn’t pulled off my helmet and could disguise it.

I still hadn’t figured out what had gone wrong with my mechanical failure but I had a good idea of where to look. Sway.

Something was changing within our friendship but instead of trying to locate it, I overlooked it. Now wasn’t the time. She had the college thing going and I was still undecided as to where I wanted my racing career to go. So, it was what is was
...
friends who talked almost daily, texted like high school girls and kissed when they saw each other. To the outside world, it looked like we were dating on our own schedules but it wasn’t that. I just could never control myself around her and ended up attacking the poor girl.

I ended up winning the feature that night and felt good about my chances for next season after battling my dad all night long I beat him by a mere three inches.

If you think about it, slowly, I was rebuilding my engine and was trying to ensure it wasn’t just a rev motor because it needed to be one to last.

I also needed to work on my concentration. I wasn’t focused as I’ve always been so I was working on that too.

        Sway came out to see me during her spring break when we were racing in Kansas City at Lakeside Speedway. She was originally going to come for Eldora but she ended up needing to stay and finish a few classes.

After that trip to Kansas, I swore I’d never return to that goddamn city. Eventually I did but never during tornado season.

The day started normally as I picked Sway up from the airport and we went to the track after eating some breakfast. I admit that I did kiss her and it was just as gratifying as it had always been.

When we got to the track, the weather started changing and the sky started talking.

Ryder and Justin were both racing with us this weekend. Sometime after we ran out hot laps and before the heat races began, Ryder came up to me.

“Those skies are rumbling man.”

I looked up from the tires I was scrapping mud from into distant fields. Through a dark skyline, you could see thunderclouds rumbling and lightening flickering.

“Yeah, they’re talking that’s for sure.”

The race was scheduled to start sometime after three that afternoon but the weather, being spring in the Midwest, was sketchy. We sat around most of the morning wondering if they’d even get the race in until the announcer came on and said they were cancelling it.

We packed up and pulled onto Highway 5 toward Wolcott when I noticed the sky turning colors off to the east of us. Having been around some crazy weather at times in the mid-west, I just chalked this up to a thunderstorm rolling though. Oh was I wrong.

It wasn’t until the hail started and cars began to turn around and travel the opposite direction from us that I realized something might not be right.

Spencer, being Spencer was just driving while
blaring
his new Britney Spears CD.

Sway was just as alarmed as me but because of Spencer’s singing voice and not the weather. Alley, being pregnant and extremely exhausted was sleeping.

I could still see Ryder’s hauler in front of us and knew Emma was with him and Tommy.

No one else seemed to be alarmed. I thought maybe I was overreacting. I was so wrong. The shit was about to hit the fan.

While merging onto Hutton Road, I realized this shit was flying. Looking off to the West, the sky had turned a pea soup color and the hail, was coming down so hard that you couldn’t see a foot in front of the car.

Spencer turned the stereo down. “Shit, look at that hail!”

Ryder pulled over before merging onto the Interstate and got out to run back to our truck with Tommy and Emma following close behind. So now we had seven people piled into the truck with Tommy sitting on my lap.

I was not amused.

“What are you guys doing?” I was more specifically asking Tommy this question, but not directly.

Everyone looked skeptically at each other before answering.

“We thought it was safer in here
...
” Tommy answered.

None of these assholes seemed particularly sharp at the moment.

I couldn’t understand the reasoning behind them thinking they were safer in here and I was not impressed that Tommy felt the need to sit on
my
lap, but was cut off by a loud siren blaring. It sounded like a bullhorn but kept going, and going.

Everyone panicked so I tried to take control. Taking control in my mind was getting Tommy off my lap and accessing the situation outside, without seven people yelling their own theories as to what was happening.

“What’s that noise?” I asked when Spencer and I got out of the truck, everyone else stayed inside, scared I imagined.

“What noise?” he asked covering his ears.

Calmly, not at all like I wanted to, I removed his hands from his ears, “That noise.”

“I don’t know!” he yelled. “I can’t hear anything over that siren.”

“What is it?” I thought I was being clear.

“What is what?”

“The fucking siren!”
I screamed. “That’s the noise I’m referring to!”

“Oh, that. Hell, I think it’s
...
” we looked up to see everyone, aside from Alley, running full speed in our direction.

Being nine months pregnant, Alley was in no shape to be running.

“It’s a tornado siren you dumb shits!” Sway yelled as she ran past us. She was practically carrying Alley until she stopped to look back at us.

Spencer, being the fucking idiot I always knew him to be, stopped to video tape with his cell phone.

“Are you fucking serious?” Sway asked looking back at me in mock horror.

“Just run toward the underpass, follow Ryder!” I yelled over the steering winds picking up and the golf ball hail attacking us. She just stood there. “Run!” she finally did so I turned to go get Spencer.

“Come on!” I reached for his sweatshirt. I’d never been properly educated on Tornado 101 but I was certain he was not standing in a safe zone.

His response, “Dude, look at that funnel!” he was animated as he said this, or it could have been my imagination, or shock.

What Funnel?
I thought to myself.

Like I said, I had no Tornado training.

Until now, I hadn’t looked around and before I could, I was hurled into a field; at least it appeared to be a field. I was a somewhat disoriented so I could have been in Iowa now and wouldn’t have known the difference.

The good thing was when I was hurled—I landed fairly close to the others so I scurried under the overpass with the rest of the guys while Spencer stumbled over holding the side of his head.

As the winds got stronger and the howling became louder, and louder, I honestly thought we may die under a freeway overpass. The wind and noise around us became deafening and so did Spencer’s screams.