Trading Paint (Racing on the Edge) (42 page)

“Not this
...
you led me on and now this
...
” she threw her arms up.

I hung my head walking. It was the same shit all the time and you’d think I’d learn by now. “What do you want Ashley? What do you want from
me
?”

“You,”

“No,” I shook my head. “You don’t really.”

“Yes I do.”

I stopped walking and turned toward her.

“No, you don’t.” I tried to convey the warning I was giving her but I could see she wasn’t buying it.

“You have a girlfriend?”

“I don’t do girlfriends.”

“So what is it then?”

“It’s nothing.”

She sighed dramatically and shifted her weight to one foot. Her black hair blew across her face until she tucked it behind her ear. I looked into her blue eyes, watching as she finally grasped what I was saying.

“Don’t act like it meant anything to you either.” I chuckled despite my annoyance with the situation. Spencer appeared at the corner of the hauler watching us from about twenty feet away. “The next weekend in California I saw you all over Mason.”

I may not have cared about these girls but I was well aware of the fact that they were usually with another driver by the following weekend. They were not about to make me feel like shit when they were using me for the exact same reasons.

I started to walk away when she just gave me that blank expression. When I approached the hauler Spencer laughed and tossed a bottle of water at me, his head tilted toward Ashley who was still standing where I left her.

“Making the rounds?”

“Fuck you,” was my only response as I tossed my bag on the ground.

You would think by now I would have learned to stay away from these women but you also have to understand that the need was there and so were they. It was wrong but it went hand in hand. Everywhere I went, women hounded me and sooner or later, I crumbled and gave in. Now I had to pay the consequences. Ever since I won my first race in Nashville, it was worse than ever.

Before practice started, I was waiting for Kyle and the car chief, Mason Bryant, to finish up the notes from last week’s testing here. They entered the data and then calculated a setup that would work for practice. We usually liked to practice in race trim, change a few small adjustments for qualifying and then revert to race trim for happy hour. After the cars were inspected prior to the race no more changes could be made so you had to be pleased by that point.

While I waited beside the car, my phone buzzed.

Are you still alive?

I laughed.
Yes.

Good.

Good?

Yes.
Just good.

Hmmm. Good.

Good luck?

Yes. Good luck is needed. My head still hurts.

Yeah well so do my legs.

How so? I kicked down the doors. Not you.

Dancing.

Mmmm
. Forgot about the dancing.

I’m hurt.

I didn’t forget about the body shots.

Good?

Kyle nudged me when he walked past. “Practice time lover boy. Put that shit away.”

Gotta
go.

Bye.

It took me a few laps to get focused but I did. The car was setup the way I liked it so we didn’t make that many laps. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Sway again that night with
all the
meet and greets Simplex had me doing and then before I knew it Saturday was here and it was time for the race.

So far, I’d won two races in the Busch series this race and was well on the way to my third when another driver, Dave Lutz, got into the side of me and took us both out. Ordinarily I would have been upset with this but I had such a pounding headache and he didn’t mean to wreck me. Dave was a nice guy and would never intentionally wreck someone just to advance in position.

Marcus caught up with me after the race and suggested that my team and I head over to the Caesars Palace after the team meeting where Simplex was throwing an after party.

Having nothing else to do that night, we decided to make an appearance. Much to our surprise, they didn’t serve beer, only wine and champagne. That was not impressive to me or Aiden and Spencer. This was even worse news for Simplex because as it turns out, wine doesn’t agree with Aiden.

Three bottles later, yes three bottles of red wine later, we were all three annihilated. I was in no condition to be drinking another night but when you’re twenty-one and have a brother like Spencer, he convinces you that drinking is a good idea.

Aiden could barely speak let alone stand in one spot without swaying.

Spencer once against smelled blood and thought now was a good time to embarrass the poor country boy.

“I bet you can’t chug that entire bottle of wine.” he prodded Aiden.

Too late, before Spencer even got the words out Aiden had half the bottle
gone.

If you’ve never chugged a bottle of wine, I don’t suggest it, it’s not enjoyable.

Poor Aiden.

By the end of the night, Aiden somehow lost his shirt, shoes and socks and walked back to the hotel half-naked.

I wasn’t any better when I thought I could table dive and ended up with three stitches about my left eye when a glass bowl broke against my head in the process.

Two pain pills later, a night with the nurse who stitched me up, I was curled up on the floor of my hotel room puking my guts out and swore I would never ever drink again.

The nurse, who I have no idea what her name was, came to check on me before she slipped out of my hotel room.

“Who’s Sway?” she asked examining my face while she threw her lipstick in her bag.

“Huh?” I asked not even bothering to lift my head again, I knew it would hurt too badly.

“Umm
...
Sway. Is she your girlfriend or something?”

“Did she call?” I couldn’t understand why she’d be asking about Sway. I never mentioned her to anyone but family.

“No
...
it’s
just that when we were in bed last night you
...
” she looked down at her bare feet shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “When you
...
well last night, you called me Sway. More than once,”

Well shit.

“Shouldn’t you be getting to work?” I asked.

I knew I was being rude but it was none of her business who Sway was and I didn’t feel like I needed to explain my situation to a complete stranger.

“Yeah
...
I should.” She agreed. “See you around Jameson.”

I didn’t say another word to her, partly because I was in no shape to. It hurt to even blink let alone speak.

I spent the majority of the morning in that bathroom. Later I found out Aiden never even made it to his room but instead spent the night, naked, on a white Persian rug in the lobby of the hotel until security found him.

To this day, I haven’t touched a drop of wine and neither has Aiden.

I also, had some serious battery searching to do.

That something I knew had to give, was teetering on the edge and needed to be either tipped the rest of the way, or rescued all together.

Not only did I hate sleeping around but it was evident I couldn’t keep doing it. I was tired of explaining myself to them. I didn’t want to be known as the driver that made his rounds with the girls.

I was here to race, not get a reputation and judging by Ashley’s comments, I felt I was heading in the wrong direction. It just seemed like I’d come to a point where I didn’t know myself. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t this guy that slept around and treated women like shit and most of all, lied to myself.

It was time to find the batteries.

20.
             
Bladder – Jameson

Bladder – Located inside the tail tank, the bladder holds fuel and keeps the fuel from spilling and catching fire in case of a rear impact.

In late August after the Bristol race, I was heading out to Knoxville for the World of Outlaws Nationals.

The Busch series had a by-week the following week so schedules lined up and I jumped on the chance to get back behind the wheel of a sprint car.

After I signed with Simplex, I got the same standard question from everyone when I showed up at the local bullring dirt tracks: “What are you doing?”

What did they expect me to do?

It wasn’t like I would settle for bowling in my spare time. I started racing because that’s what I loved to do. Just because I’d been signed with a team and they were paying me to do what I loved, didn’t mean I lost that desire to race at the bullrings.

When I asked Sway one afternoon if I should stop, she again offered her timeless advice.

“The people asking you to quit don’t understand why you’re doing it in the first place. It’s what you do, it’s all you’ve ever know. So you now have a job doing it. That doesn’t mean you give up what relaxes you.”

Everyone thought because I was now being paid to race that I had it easy but that’s not the truth at all. I had stress, lots of it. I had sponsors breathing down my neck, my dad watching my every move, women hounding me and to top it off, I was falling for my best friend. So when I’m stressed, I act like any other twenty-two year old, I do what relaxes me, racing.

Even though I was battling it out in the Busch series and I’d just signed with Simplex for next year in the Cup series as well, I still showed up at those bullring tracks when I could for one simple reason, okay well two—I loved to race and seat time. I brought my helmet wherever I went. You race your best when you’re prepared and ready.

I was.

Being back around sprint cars was exactly what I needed. Tyler, Ryder and Justin were out there. It was the first time I’d seen Ryder racing since his accident. You could tell he still had some setbacks and walked with a limp but he did
good
.

We hugged when I saw him.

“Look at you big man!” Ryder said with a bright smile sweeping his golden brown hair from his eyes.
“NASCAR driver now, huh?”

“Yeah, so they say.”

“They say? I saw you’ve won a few races.”

“It’s just luck.” I shrugged. “How are you feeling these days?”

“Oh you know
...
good. I walk with a limp now but other than that, back to normal.”

Justin pushed against him as we walked toward the pit bleachers for the drivers meeting. “It’s good to see you back out here kid.”

“Who you talking to?”
Ryder asked looking between Justin and me.

“Both of you actually,” We filed into the bleachers together. I noticed my dad walking toward us now with Bucky and Shey. “I’m lonely out here these days.”

“Hey!” Tyler punched his shoulder.

“I’m just
sayin
’
...
we all used to race together. This kid goes and gets hurt and this one
...
” he gestured to me with a nod. “Goes and gets himself a NASCAR gig.” Justin threw his arm around Tyler. “It’s just you and me Ty.”

Jimi walked up right about then as we were all laughing.

“Hey Jameson, some girl is looking for you.” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Who?”
I glanced down at my cell phone that vibrated. Sway sent me a text.

Good luck tonight.

“Uh
...
I think she said her name was Nikki or Natalie
...
or something like that. I don’t know.” He sat down next to Ryder.
“How
ya
feeling?”