Traitorous Attraction (18 page)

“Is that Aiden?” she asked. Her voice was tight to the point of breaking.

Connor leaned over her shoulder to look at the picture. In the background of one of the photos, several inmates were lined up along a wall, being patted down by guards. After the riot, every cell had been emptied and anything that could be used as a weapon or for entertainment was removed. Books, pencils and extra clothes were taken and destroyed. Inmates would be eating their food with their bare hands. The government intended to break the will of the inmates in the prison to ensure they stampeded every last intention of another riot.

“I can’t tell. Can you make it bigger?” Connor said. It could have been his brother. He wanted it to be his brother. He clasped her shoulders, needing to lean on her.

Kate had gone above and beyond to help him look for Aiden. His emotions surged in his chest as he looked at her. Never in his life had he had someone who was so much a partner to him, both in his life and in his work. She had remained steadfastly at his side, devoted and true.

Kate opened the picture in another application and zoomed in on the image. Though it was grainy, it looked like his brother.

“If I can get a copy of the original picture...” She was already dialing her cell phone. She pretended to be a reporter from an American newspaper covering the story, and she promised to give the small Tumaran news company credit for the photo and content they provided. She amazed him with her fast thinking.

“They’re sending them,” Kate said, taking his hands. “We’re close to finding him. I can feel it.”

Connor pressed a kiss to her mouth. He couldn’t get over how close to her he felt. He had never before felt this way for a woman. She worked beside him during the day and she slept beside him at night. Kate was integrally part of his world and their lives had intertwined during this rescue effort. Would that change after he found his brother? He couldn’t think about them going their separate ways, not after all they had been through.

“Are you okay?” Kate asked, smoothing his hair away from his face.

“I’m fine. I was thinking about how much I appreciate what you’re doing.”

She smiled from under her lashes. “I’m happy to help however I can.”

“Even though you know there are consequences for what we’ve done.” Her job and reputation would be in tatters. Sphere could make living a normal life impossible for her.

“I know there are consequences. I’ll face them,” Kate said.

“You won’t face them alone,” Connor said.

Kate leaned her head on his chest and he held her. A few minutes later, her computer beeped, and Connor reluctantly let her go so she could check her email. The newspaper had sent the original photos.

On her computer, they could see the image of Aiden more clearly. His face was angled down and partially blocked by a guard, but Connor felt sure it was his brother.

“It’s him,” Connor said. Relief and happiness ballooned through him. To know Aiden had survived the riot brought him immeasurable happiness.

Kate stared for a few more seconds at her screen. “I think you’re right.” She flipped through the other pictures the newspaper had sent her. She paused and opened the folder where she’d saved the snapshots.

“These are called ‘3B’ and then a sequential number. Does that mean he’s being held in cellblock 3B?” Kate asked. She pulled up the map she had on the prison layout. Destroyed, uninhabitable parts of the jail were blacked out. 3B was in part of the jail still in use.

“It’s the best we have to go on,” Connor said.

Kate tapped her nail against her computer. “We won’t have much time to look for him. Once I doctor the prison’s security system, it won’t take them long to figure out what’s going on. If we make a mistake and target 3B and he’s somewhere else...”

“We’ll have to move fast and roll with the punches,” Connor said.

They wouldn’t get another shot to save his brother’s life. They would give this operation everything they had and hope it was enough.

Chapter 12

“A
re you nervous?” Kate asked. Fresh from a hot shower, which she had hoped would calm her nerves, she was eager to get a solid seven hours of sleep before the jailbreak attempt in the morning. She, Connor, Ariana and Finn had gone over their plan, and the details whirled in Kate’s head. Disable the security system in Aiden’s cellblock, put in a prison helicopter-flyover request and have it approved and get out of the area before anyone figured out what was going on. The timing needed to be perfect. They were counting on the confusion and miscommunications that came with new staff and the Tumaran National Emergency Reserves working inside the prison to pave their way for the jailbreak.

Kate sat on the bed as she brushed her hair, watching Connor. He was lying in bed, wide-awake.

“I’m not worried about the jailbreak. I’m worried Aiden will have been moved or that, with the new security measures, I won’t get to him in time,” Connor said. “I don’t know if the Tumaran government has figured out who he is or if he’s assumed another name. I don’t know if Sphere is aware he’s in prison. I don’t know all the pieces and that means there’s a high probability of not accounting for a serious problem.”

Kate set her brush down and crawled across the bed to Connor. She rested her head on his chest. “We’ll find him. I’ll be there to help. So will Ariana and Finn. We all want him rescued.” She kissed the bare skin of his chest. He played with her hair, running his fingers through it.

“Why don’t you come with us? I don’t like the idea of you being on the ground. What if you miss the rendezvous point? What if you’re delayed? The timing is tight,” Connor said.

“I won’t be able to think if I’m in a helicopter whirling around and I need to be clearheaded. The prison might have updated their passcodes or their system and I’m relying on the information I gathered in the control center to give me access. If I can’t get in or I get shut out, I’ll need to think on my feet. I can’t do that high in the air. You know how I feel about heights.”

“It’s sexy when you talk nerdy to me,” Connor said.

“Are you making fun of me?” Kate asked and tickled his stomach.

Connor caught her hand and grinned at her. For a brief instant, he seemed happy and carefree without the weight of Aiden’s rescue plaguing him. “I would never make fun of my personal geek service. Without you, we wouldn’t be able to get to Aiden.”

“Are you using me for my brain?” she asked.

“Would it be bad if I wanted both your brain and your body?” Connor asked, rolling on top of her.

She had never had a man interested in both. She stretched her hands over her head. “You can have whatever part of me you’d like.” One day, she wanted all of him and she would have it.

Connor kissed her and didn’t take the intimacy further than that. Though the kisses ignited something white-hot in her, Kate needed to be sensitive to how he was feeling. The next twenty-four hours would be stressful and key to saving Aiden.

“We should sleep,” Kate said, stroking the side of his face. “You need to be in top form tomorrow.”

“I can’t. I feel restless,” Connor said.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Connor lifted a brow. “You already know what’s on my mind.”

She touched his back, running her fingertips along his side. “How about a distraction, then?” She rolled her hips back and forth, teasing him. “A little physical activity to help put you to sleep.”

His eyes widened and Connor pretended to think about it. He rocked his hips into hers, and she was aware he was turned on and tuned in to her. “I can’t imagine what you have in mind.”

Kate parted her legs and wrapped them around his waist. “Does this give you a clue?”

Connor arranged the pillows behind her head and a teasing smile crossed his face. “No. Make it more clear.”

Kate grabbed the sides of her T-shirt and pulled it up over her head. She tossed it on the ground. “How about this?”

“I’m still not sure what you’re getting at,” Connor said.

Kate pushed at the waistband of her panties, and Connor slid them down her legs, leaning back on his haunches. “How about now? If you’re still confused, maybe you’re all brawn and no brain.”

He laughed. “You’re the whole package. How can I hold on to you?”

She brought her finger to her mouth in mock thought. “That could be a problem. Maybe all I’m after is arm candy.”

He grinned at her. “You’re too much and I can’t get enough.” He buried his face in her neck and kissed her.

He smelled of soap and spice, a combination she found exhilarating. His hard muscles flexed under her hands as he moved lower over her body. Everywhere his mouth lingered, heat flared along her skin. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensations tumbling over her.

He lowered his head between her legs and she gasped when he kissed her at the apex of her thighs. His mouth and fingers stroked her intimately, and she lifted her hips, wanting more, wanting to make him feel as good as he was making her feel.

She forked her fingers into his hair, and his name escaped her lips in a gasp. He didn’t respond. His tongue stroked her, and the feeling was accompanied by such a strong rush of emotion, tears came to her eyes. He held her thighs open as the heat of his mouth coaxed her to the brink. “Connor, wait. Too fast.”

If he heard her, he didn’t heed. He slid one finger into her and then two. Shivers coursed through her body and she shouted his name one last time and melted against the bed. He flopped on his back beside her, one hand behind his head, looking extraordinarily pleased with himself. “Feeling better?” he asked.

She put a hand on his chest. “Yes and no. I wanted to relax you. I feel great, but you still feel tense.”

“I’m okay. Try to get some rest.”

“No way.” She pushed herself up and over him, straddling his hips. “Let me see if I can get you to chant my name.”

“I’m not much of a chanter.”

She smiled. “Is that a challenge?”

“Not at all. I’m more the strong, silent type,” he said.

Kate loved this man. She knew being in love with him wasn’t easy, especially when it was unreciprocated. He was closed off at times and utterly stoic when she desperately wanted emotion from him. But she would win him over. She would make him see that she was good for him, that they were good together. She was helpful in this mission and more than a lover. She wanted to be his partner in the most complete sense of the word.

She found a condom and rolled it on him. Connor watched her, his dark eyes soulful. She didn’t wait for him to say anything. Her body was primed from the careful attention his mouth had given her. She took him deeply and swiveled her hips, letting him move all the way inside her. He moaned. She withdrew and plunged down again. She lifted and lowered her body, slow and steady. He reached for her hips to hasten the movements, and she took his hands and placed them on her breasts instead.

Another groan. But not her name. “Connor?”

“Hmm?” he asked through half-lidded eyes.

“Tell me what you want.”

“Faster,” he said.

Up and down. He closed his eyes and she let her head fall back against the sensations scorching through her.

“Tell me again,” she said.

“More. Faster,” he said. A sheen of sweat covered his forehead.

Ever so slightly, she ramped up the speed. “Kate, honey, please, you’re killing me.”

There it was. Her name, as she had wanted. She planted a kiss on his mouth and rode him hard, fast, driving him over the brink. When he found completion, to her supreme delight, he spoke her name again.

She collapsed next to him on the bed and closed her eyes.

Connor pulled her against him. “You’re really something else.”

“Meaning?” she asked, sleep tempting her. She cuddled closer to Connor in bed.

“Meaning, I have never trusted anyone how I trust you. You’ve been there for me. You’ve put yourself at risk for me and for Aiden. I owe you more than I will ever be able to repay.”

“You don’t need to repay me,” Kate said.

“Can you look at me?” he asked.

Kate opened her eyes and tilted her head up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Nothing. But I’ve wanted to say something to you for a while now.”

Her heart pounded harder.

“I love you, Kate.”

Warmth spread over her. She had spoken those same words to him and had wanted and waited for them to be returned. That they came freely meant everything to her.

Guilt, like a bucket of ice water, dumped over the tenderness of the moment. If Connor learned the role she had played in Aiden’s disappearance, she would irrevocably break his trust. If she told him now, would he change his mind about her? Take back the word
love
and replace it with hateful, angry words?

Aiden meant everything to Connor. Kate had known that from the beginning. At first, she had resisted disclosing anything to him because she couldn’t risk him refusing to help. Then she had wanted to earn his trust. Now that she knew she hadn’t been responsible for Aiden’s disappearance, had been just another pawn in Sphere’s game, could she tell Connor what had unfolded and the role she’d played and keep his love?

She couldn’t leave the heavy secret between them. At some point, he would find out. She’d blurt it out when she couldn’t hold it inside a moment longer. Sad as it was to admit, she had become skilled at lying while she worked, pretending to be other people and playing a role. But she couldn’t lie to Connor. Being his lover wasn’t a character she was pretending to be. She loved him. She wanted honesty and truth between them.

She had to tell him now. He would see that she had made the only choices she could at the time with the information she had. They could move forward and put this behind them.

She struggled to find the words. “I have something I need to tell you and it might be hard for you to hear.”

Connor tensed. Was he waiting for the bomb to explode? Had he expected her to deliver bad news on the heels of something wonderful between them? For a moment, she reconsidered. She was pushing them to shaky ground. She had already started speaking and the words found their way out of her mouth.

“I thought I was responsible for Aiden’s disappearance.”

Connor sat up and inclined his head. His eyes slightly narrowed. “What do you mean you thought you were responsible for his disappearance?”

The whole horrible story came tumbling out. Not delivering the message to Aiden and then finding out he had gone missing. Believing he was dead and how guilty she had felt knowing she was his ground command and she had made an error. If she had delivered the warning about a government raid, she believed he could have protected himself.

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?” Connor asked. His voice had taken on an edge.

She shifted, knowing he was upset and unsure how to defuse it. “I didn’t want to lose your trust.”

“You know Aiden is important to me.” His voice had gone soft and quiet.

“That’s why I felt I had to tell you now. I didn’t want secrets between us.”

“You didn’t want secrets, or because if we rescue him tomorrow, the role you had in this operation could come out?” Connor asked. “Is this a ‘cover your rear end’ move or are you trying to absolve yourself of the guilt you feel?”

“I don’t want lies between us.”

Connor’s eyes narrowed. “Did you come to find my brother out of concern for him or guilt?”

“A little of both,” she said. The admission hurt.

Connor said nothing for a long time. Kate read anger on his face. Hurt. Betrayal. Giving trust was difficult for him. He had told her he trusted her and loved her and she had bludgeoned him with this information. She should have waited. Or told him sooner. Her timing was all wrong.

“I should have told you sooner,” she said.

“Yes.” He wouldn’t meet her gaze. He had drawn his knees up, the sheet draping over him, and his arms were folded on top of the sheet. He was staring at some blank spot on the wall.

She set her hand on his forearm. “Connor, please don’t be angry about this. Please don’t shut me out.”

A muscle flexed in his jaw and he pulled away from her touch.

“I won’t keep things from you like this again,” she said. She didn’t know what train of thought his mind had taken, but she guessed it wasn’t positive about her or trust and love in general.

Connor looked at the ceiling and then at her. “I anticipated this.”

He had? He had suspected the role she had played in Aiden’s disappearance? She didn’t know whether to be relieved or insulted.

“I knew you worked for Sphere. How could those backstabbing, two-faced liars not rub off on you?” Connor asked.

Kate winced. That wasn’t the response she had been expecting.

“I knew I couldn’t trust you to be honest with me. Why did I let myself believe you were any different from everyone else?” he asked. He stood from the bed and grabbed his pants off the floor. He pulled them on quickly, every motion punctuated with anger.

“Connor, please don’t go. Let’s talk about this.”

“What is it that you want to say to me? That despite lying, you can be trusted? That it’s fine now because we know where Aiden is?”

“I just want to tell you that I’m sorry and I never meant to hurt you or Aiden.”

“If we hadn’t located my brother, would you have told me this information?” Connor asked. “If we had come here only to learn he was dead, would you have said anything?”

Kate wasn’t sure. She hadn’t considered not finding Aiden. Her focus had been on their mission. “I knew we would find him and I didn’t think you and I would get this close.”

Connor stared at her. Gone from his face was his anger. Now she read cold indifference. Maybe it was his training to hide his emotions and he couldn’t help it, but the indifference was worse than the anger. Indifference meant he didn’t care. Indifference meant he had written her off. The thoughts pierced her and she struggled not to cry. How could she explain this and not lose his trust? Not lose him? She felt herself dangling on the edge, holding on with her fingertips.

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” Connor said under his breath.