Transience (31 page)

Jack slowed, thinking he might let Carl sleep a little longer, have one more dream with a happy ending.
 
He would have the rest of his life to relive this crushing moment, what's the rush?
 

Just then, Carl's eyes fluttered.
 
He spotted Jack down the hall and sat up straight.
 
No turning back now.
 

Jack came to understand the best way was to just look them straight in the eye, tell the truth, then shut up.
 
Nothing else you say will matter, unless you know of a way you can bring their loved one back from the dead.
 
Just shut your mouth and let them grieve, however they choose.

Jack thought about what that poor doctor must have felt, having to tell him he'd tried and failed to save Sarah's life.
 
I'm sorry, Mr. Ridge, she didn't pull through
.
 
She didn't pull through
…
 
He remembered how the doctor didn't waiver and looked him in the eye bravely.
 
How difficult that must have been.
 

Carl shifted in his seat as Jack stepped closer.
 
She didn't pull through, Carl.

Carl stood up and Jack motioned for him to sit back down, which made Carl want to stand up all the more.
 
Sitting down meant dreadful news.
 
He stayed on his feet.

Jennifer entered the hallway from the far end and spotted Jack talking to Carl.
 
She couldn't hear what he was saying.
 
She watched as Carl went limp and collapsed into Jack's arms.
 
Jack helped him to the bench and eased him down.
 

Jack sat motionless beside Carl, who wept into his hands.
 
They sat that way for a long time.

CHAPTER 53

Jack closed his office door and slumped down into his chair, emotionally drained.
 
The cassette player still sat on his desk.
 
He reached over and pressed play.
 
Rebecca's voice came to life on the tape again.
"Trusted him
…
lied to me."
 

Jack pressed fast forward at random.
 
"Rebecca?"
 
Leonard's voice spoke.

"I hear church bells.
 
Santa Maria, Madre de Dios-" Jack forwarded again.
 
"The fruits of our labors
…
find Jesus on the hill.
 
Find Jesus
…
"
Jack stopped the tape.
 
What had he overlooked?
 
Misinterpreted?
 

There was a photograph of Angelina on his desk, a large 8x10.
 
He picked it up and studied it one last time, then tossed it into the pile of victim's photographs.
 

He walked over to his file cabinet.
 
A small bend in the metal made it difficult to open.
 
He tugged it hard and it slid all the way out with a metallic screech.
 
He removed the large scrapbook of mugshots Rebecca had examined the other day.

He flattened the book out on his desk and flipped through.
 
As Bishop's mug shot came into view, the thing that stood out the most about him was his very unique face — ugly, memorable — not ordinary at all.
 
Not a face you'd forget, or confuse with someone else's.
 

Rebecca had stared at this picture, he was certain.
 
But she said nothing.
 
For someone who had dreamed of this face for so long, woke up screaming from it, supposedly carried it with her across lifetimes, you would think seeing it up close would illicit a very powerful reaction.
 
But
she said nothing.
 
Which meant she had never seen him before.

He thought about what Laura had said, that they'd all taken what Rebecca had conjured up in those therapy sessions and applied whatever explanation they saw fit, never fully realizing the obvious.
 
However all of those coincidences had transpired, it was certain that they were just that,
coincidences
.
 
Dumb luck, as Harrington called it.

Jack felt consumed by regret — and guilt.
 
He had been a party to this, he contributed to her confusion as much as Leonard.
 
Laura was the only one who had remained lucid and sane.
 
They'd taken a few startling occurrences, some ramblings, and conjured a fantasy.
 
One he was more than willing to subscribe to.
 
Facing death, desperate, knowing that his cherished memories of Sarah would be lost to oblivion forever, memories that kept her spirit alive.
 
All those moments.

The hope that perhaps there was a reason to life, fate, karma, another chance to learn, reconnect, live again.
 
He bought it.
 
All of it.
 

But Rebecca's clues didn
'
t find the killer, did they?
 

In the end, it was Teresa Mason's bravery that collared their man.
 
Not the supernatural.
 
Laura, Harrington, they had tried to talk some sense into him.
 
How easily we're misled when we want to believe something for our own personal motivations.
 
How had he let his normally conservative judgment become so clouded?
 
That lapse in reason took his investigation off on a tangent and, because of that, Angelina was dead now.
 

The phone on his desk rang.
 
He watched the little yellow button blink off and on.
 
He pressed it.

"Ridge."

"I hear you arrested Edward Bishop," Leonard said.
 

"That's right."
 
Jack could hear Leonard sigh on the other end.

"Bishop is a former patient of mine.
 
I evaluated him during his rape trial.
 
He's been in and out of the psych ward for years."

"What's your point?"

"Carmen knew her killer, she trusted him, went with him willingly."

"He already confessed."
 

"He's lying."

"Leonard, I've played along long enough."

"Jack, listen to me, the answer is there, we just haven't figured it out yet."

"I have to go."
 

"Edward Bishop doesn't have the ability to facilitate friendships, even temporary.
 
Speak to him."

"I have."

"He doesn't fit the description."
 

"Description?
 
Right now I have a description from a girl who died trying to defend herself, his DNA was scraped from her fingernail bed.
 
I got a car that matches a vehicle description from a witness in Ann Arbor.
 
I have verification that he was working at Monroe College while Carmen was a student."

"I'm not denying he attacked the Mason girl, but he's not the one who killed Carmen, he's probably not the one who took Angelina."
 

"Hard evidence and solid police work solved this case."

There was a long pause.
 
"10 years of solid police work didn't find Carmen's body," Leonard said.

"Dumb luck."

"Bullshit.
 
Angelina still hasn't been found."

"He named the location."

"Where?"

"The reservoir."

"You won't find anything.
 
I guarantee it."
 
Jack gave Leonard's words some consideration, but only out of respect for their friendship.
   

"I don't have time to debate this with you, Leonard."

"I stopped by to visit Carmen's mother, Jack.
 
Don't worry, I didn't tell her why I was there.
 
I simply said I was from the police department and offered counseling.
 
She refused, but she did say that you were there again recently.
 
You didn't explain to her exactly why, either.
 
What were you looking for in the girl's bedroom?"

Jack was silent.
 

"The diary… You were looking for the diary-"

"Goodbye, Leonard-"
 

"I want to come in and question him!
 
You can arrange that!"

"Leonard, this is a murder investigation, I don't have time to help you conduct research for your God damn book!"

Jack slammed down the phone.
 
The image of Rebecca from Carmen's painting kept surfacing in his thoughts.
 
Must remain
rational.
 
Coincidence.
 
Mere coincidence.
 

Harrington opened the door and entered.
 
Jack hadn't heard the knob click,
was he outside the whole time, listening?

"Jack, you never gave up.
 
Everyone knows that.
 
Carl Rosa knows that.
 
You're a good man."

"Not good enough."
 
Jack stood up and reached for his jacket.
 
He looked out the window and caught a glimpse of Carl walking towards his car, his head down, reporters smothering him, shoving microphones under his chin in desperation to squeeze a sound bite of grief out of him for the 6 o'clock news.

"Don't beat yourself up, Jack.
 
It's not worth it."
 

"Worth it?
 
I'd rather work 25 hours a day than face those few seconds right before you give someone news that's going to destroy the rest of their lives."
 

"That's our job."
 

"No.
 
Our job is to try and prevent those moments from ever happening."

Harrington conceded, never intending to have a long conversation, already wearing his coat.

"Well, I gotta go, gotta explain to the wife why there was 1,300 dollars stuffed in my sock drawer.
 
One of my kids told her I won it on the Denver game.
 
Believe that?
 
These kids and their crazy imaginations."
 

Harrington exited.
 
Jack looked down at the cassette player.
   

"Yeah…"
 

Jack reached down and placed his finger on the eject button.
 
He tapped it and Rebecca's tape spit out.
 
He held it up for a few seconds, frowned, then tossed it across his desk, scattering a few papers.
 
One of them, the invitation his brother had left, fluttered to the floor by his feet.

He reached down to pick it up.
 
He slid his finger under the lip of the envelope and opened it.

CHAPTER 54

Laura turned down Hastings Boulevard and noticed how much things had changed since she last traveled these parts as a teenager over a decade ago.
 
It was much dirtier now, several stores she used to frequent had been shuttered.
 
The corner drug store where she once stole cigarettes was still open.
 

"Where are we going?" Rebecca asked from the back seat.
 

"To see an old friend."
 
Laura had decided to just put it all out on the table for Rebecca.
 
Whatever the consequences.
 
She knew this was all inevitable.
 
It was time.

Laura exchanged glances between Rebecca and the road, watching her expression for any changes, looks of recognition, any reaction at all.
 
But Rebecca just sat quietly.

She turned down Woods Avenue, Hester's apartment complex came into view.
 
It was all coming back to her now.
 
Carmen had always seemed embarrassed by her family, especially her mother.
 
Hester was very religious and often said or did things to make it seem like Carmen was being raised in the middle ages.
 
She came across as a fanatic to the uninitiated.
 
But Laura never thought anything less of her, or considered her weird.
 
Compared to her own upbringing, most other families seemed normal.
 

As she pulled up to the curb, she gazed at the iron railing along the steps that led to a small balcony by the apartment entrance.
 
On days with nothing to do, she and Carmen had stood up there and watched the traffic go by.
 

On one occasion, a blue and white-striped butterfly with an enormous wingspan fluttered past them and landed on Laura's shoulder.
 
Laura remembered screaming with excitement.
 
The noise brought Carmen's mother, Hester, to the front door to see what all the fuss was about.
 
Carmen reached out to touch the butterfly and Hester yelled at her to leave it alone.
 
She remembered Hester saying if a butterfly lands on your shoulder, it means that you have a good aura and a kind spirit.
 
And that other spirits would want to remain close to you, love you.
 
How's that working out, Laura?

Carmen commented on how beautiful the butterfly was.
 
Hester then asked Carmen if she had thanked God for showing her such beauty.
 
She then made Carmen say it out loud.
 
"Thank you Lord, for revealing to me your beauty in the world."
 
Carmen was so embarrassed, she didn't speak the rest of the afternoon.
 
That was the only really odd moment that stood out in Laura's mind.
 

Laura put the car in park and walked around to let Rebecca out.
 
Rebecca didn't act unusual, she didn't show any emotion at all.
 
Laura was surprised.
 
Blank wasn't the reaction she was expecting.