Transmission Lost (38 page)

But she was breathing, her chest rising and falling with slow, deep, regular breaths, and her nose and lips were back to their regular glossy black, rather than the pale, mottled gray they had been when she'd been deep in shock.

The doctor had explained, and Li'ren had translated, that for the surgery they'd had to sedate Aria. Apparently she had woken up partially halfway through and might have made things worse otherwise by moving around, so they'd injected her with a mild sedative to keep her out while they worked on her. The sedative had been a lot more potent due to her massive blood loss, so the medical team had kept her in the operating room for a few hours longer than they had planned. They'd monitored her until they were sure she was out of danger and then moved her to a recovery room.

Now the four of them, Jack, Sami, Arn, and Li'ren, sat around the bed, watching Aria, waiting for her to wake up. Jack and Sami both sat up near the head of the bed in chairs on either side, and Arn sat next to Sami. Li'ren sat furthest away, at the foot of the bed, while she had ordered her guards to remain outside the room. They all knew it could be a while. She'd been through a traumatic experience, an intense series of emergency surgeries, and her body was still incredibly strained as it fought to heal itself.

Almost an hour after they had entered the room, Aria finally began to stir. Jack was the first to notice, seeing the jerky twitch of her tail underneath the blankets. He raised a hand, wanting to touch her arm, but he held himself back. The last thing he wanted to do was to startle her and cause her to hurt herself again. Jack just waited, watching as she slowly started to come awake.

After ten minutes, the Ailian's eyes finally opened. Aria looked almost as though she were too weak even to do that. She blinked slowly, her vertical pupils dilating as her eyes adjusted to the light in the room. Then her eyes turned to the right, where Jack was sitting. Try as he might, he couldn't keep a smile off of his face as he saw her looking at him. She gazed at him for a moment, and then she turned her eyes the other way, to look at her sister and her father. Next she closed her eyes again, and Jack could see the muscles in her neck straining as she tried to lift her head. Sami reached down below bed level and manipulated something, and then the top of the bed tilted up slightly, raising Aria's head and torso so that she was in a half-sitting position.

Aria's lips parted underneath the mask, and there was a hoarse whisper as she tried to speak. She closed her mouth, and her throat bobbed as she swallowed, trying to work moisture into her mouth and throat again.

-Where...am I?- she murmured, speaking to Sami in Ailian. -What...What happened...-

-You're at the hospital, sister,- Sami responded. She looked across the bed at Jack, and then back at Aria. Placing a hand gently over one of Aria's, she went on. -Jack found you in the kitchen, with...with your arms all cut up. He called for help, and they brought you to the hospital. You're lucky to be alive, Aria.-

-Oh...- She offered no words of thanks. She felt absolutely drained, still chilled, and above all she felt absolute shame at what she had done. Aria scarcely remembered forming the intent to take her own life, but she knew that she had. She could barely look at her sister and her father. She definitely couldn't bring herself to look at Jack again, and did not want to allow herself to think about the pain she must have caused him.

Sami's lower lip began to tremble, and her eyes started to tear up. -Aria, we were all so scared. We thought you were going to die. We couldn't...I mean...Mother, years ago, and then Li'ara, and now you...- Her voice caught in her throat. She looked down at her lap, covering her face with her hands, shaking her head slowly. -I just got my big sister back...- Her father reached over, putting an arm around Sami's shoulders. He didn't look as though he was able to speak.

-Sami...,- Aria whispered. She closed her eyes, taking as deep a breath as she could manage and letting it out slowly. She would not allow herself to cry, she could not. A long minute passed before she trusted her voice enough to speak again. -I did not do...what I did in order to hurt you.-

-But you did hurt me!- Sami wailed, looking up at Aria. Betrayal was clear in her expression. -How could you...- She choked on her words, and then she stood up from her chair, her tail trailing limply behind her as she rushed from the room. Arn glanced at his eldest daughter sadly, and then got up to follow his second-eldest. They closed the door when they left, leaving Aria and Jack alone apart from Li'ren, who remained quietly and unobtrusively in her chair.

The room was mostly silent for a while, with only the quiet pings and beeps from the various pieces of equipment keeping their electronic watch over Aria. Aria stared at the ceiling lights long enough to make them hurt, but her eyes stayed mercilessly dry. She felt absolutely miserable. All she wanted was to go to sleep, and she wouldn't have been upset if she didn't ever wake up again. Still the Ailian refused to look at the human sitting at her side.

“Aria...,” Jack finally started to say.

“Jack, please go,” Aria said quietly. She just wanted to be alone, couldn't he tell?

Jack felt a flash of anger at her cold dismissal. “No.”

“Need to be alone,” Aria insisted, just as quietly. Her eyes were blank, still staring straight up at the ceiling. “Go.”

“You must really think I'm dumb,” Jack growled. He sat up in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest. “I'm not leaving this time, Aria. Not until we talk.”

“No talk. Jack-”

“Goddammit, Aria, I've had enough of this!”
The anger in his voice surprised him, and even caused Li'ren to jump in her chair. The door to the room cracked open briefly, as the noblewoman's guards checked inside. Aria looked over at him finally, surprise in her eyes. Jack's hands were balled into fists now. His jaw was clenched, and his nostrils flared as he fought to keep himself contained. “You keep pushing me away, just retreating further and further into yourself, and I'm not letting you do it anymore! I'm going to talk to you, and you're going to listen to me, alright?”

Li'ren slowly stood up from her chair. “I'll...ah...just be outside...” She made a hasty exit from the room, opening and closing the door as she slipped out into the hallway, leaving the pair alone.

“Jack...”

“Just listen to me for once, Aria,” Jack said earnestly. He wasn't going to let her dismiss him this time, especially not when she was bedridden like this. “I know you don't think a whole lot of my ability to cope with unusual situations, but I would have hoped you at least trusted me. You trust me, don't you?”

This was not the conversation that Aria had been expecting, and she didn't know exactly how she was supposed to respond. “Jack...Of course, I trust you.”

“Well, you've got a funny fuckin' way of showing it!” Passing a hand over his face, Jack took a few deep breaths. He was angry right now, and he didn't really want to be, but he also needed to get this out. “Aria, I could have left you at any time back when we were stranded on that planet together. I could have slipped off during the night, or tried to kill you in your sleep, or left you to get killed by those creatures. But I didn't do it. You know why?” He didn't wait for a response before pressing on. “Because I knew I needed your help, and I wasn't too proud to admit it. You aren't too proud to admit it, either, or at least you didn't used to be. But ever since we got to Lirna, you've been taking more and more of the responsibility for yourself, and you've been cutting me out of your life. How do you think that makes me feel?”

Aria looked away from him. “You don't understand, Jack...”

“Oh, the
hell
I don't!” Jack shot back at her. “You think you're the only one who's going through a rough time right now? I'm on a planet right now where my life is worth approximately nothing! I'm just a slave, and the only redeeming feature to that arrangement is that I'm currently under the care of a 'mistress' who doesn't beat me or sell me off. I'm surrounded by a species who has been at war with mine for a decade, and I'm a matter of weeks away from a trial that could mean the difference between life and death for me just as well as for you. And you don't see me cutting my wrists, do you?”

“Shut up!” Aria hissed, turning her eyes back to look at him. She had a spark of her old fire back. “You not have idea how I feel! I have no honor left! They call me traitor, put me on trial, all because I survive!” She closed her eyes, hot tears dripping down her face now. She couldn't stop them. “And then my empress tell me I must help her stop a war...Is too much, Jack, just too much...”

Jack blinked, leaning back from her in surprise. “Do what now?”

Everything came out in a rush. Aria told him all that the Empress had told her, about the unexpected invasion of Earth, the building tensions with the Ascendancy's Outer Colonies, and why the Empress had taken such an interest in Aria. She didn't leave anything out. Jack listened to her, going through stages of horror, shock, and amazement as the whole story was relayed to him. When Aria finally finished, he stared at her, his jaw slack. He had no idea what to make of it all.

“Aria...Why didn't you just tell me?”

“What I supposed to tell you? That your world doomed? That Empress thinks civil war is coming?” Aria shook her head weakly. “Not want to burden you...You go through enough already...”

“So your solution was to kill yourself?” Jack asked her.

“Not know...” Aria stared ahead at the wall, feeling numb. Her ears had flattened right to the top of her head. Everything was out now, and Jack knew it all. “Too much pressure, Jack. Not know what else to do...Wanted to make it go away...”

Jack shook his head. “You shouldn't have pushed me away so much, Aria,” he said. “I wanted to help you. I could have helped you.”

“How?”

“I don't know, exactly. Maybe there wasn't anything I could
do
, you know, but I'd have been there for you. If you go it alone, there's nobody to share the burden with. Pile on too much stuff, and you'll collapse. Just like you did.”

Aria sighed, her eyes drooping shut. “Wonderful...Called weak by human...”

“No, that's not what I...” Jack made a sound of exasperation. “Dammit, Aria, you're the strongest person I know. But nobody can take the kind of burden you have by themselves. You need to learn to rely on others enough to lighten the load.”

The Ailian just lay there for a long time, thinking about what Jack had said. She'd always been taught by her mother that the only person you could really, truly count on was yourself. She had kept that lesson close to her heart for most of her adult life, especially during her time in military service. Aria had tried to never get herself into a situation that she wouldn't be able to get herself out of. The only time she'd had to break that rule was when she met Jack, when she was absolutely at the end of her rope. And that hadn't been so bad, despite where it had led her.

“I wanted to protect you...,” Aria whispered. “Not want you to go through what I go through...That why I keep you away...”

“Well, it would be hard to protect me when you're dead,” Jack pointed out. He slid his chair closer to the hospital bed, resting his elbow on it. “And this might surprise you, but I can take care of myself. You don't have to protect me nearly as much as you think.”

“I know.” Aria took a shuddering breath, letting it out slowly. “You stronger than me.” Jack put a hand on her shoulder, brushing it through her orange fur up to the side of her neck. She tilted her head to his hand, rubbing her cheek against it. “Should hit you for yelling at me...”

Jack smirked at her, then his face turned serious. “Don't ever do anything like this again. I thought I was going to lose you.” He leaned over her, giving her a kiss on each of her ears. “Promise me, okay, Aria?”

“Promise, Jack.”

He stroked the top of her head, eliciting a weak purr from her. “I should go now, before people start asking weird questions about what a human slave and a traitor are doing alone together, huh?” Jack stood up from his chair, about to head for the door, but then he heard a growl of pain from Aria. Looking back at her, he saw her straining to lift her bandaged arm. She managed to raise it enough to grab the sleeve of his shirt. She was looking at him with the same expression from before, back when she'd been overcome by the creatures on their lost planet.

“You coming back, yes?” Aria asked him. Her tail gave a twitch underneath the hospital blanket.

Jack smiled at her. “Soon as I can. Promise.”

“Good...” Aria let her hand fall back to the bed, sighing. “But not too soon. Need sleep...”

******

-So, are we ready for the next step?-

-I believe so, m'lady. All of the pieces are in place. The fleets are standing by, and our allies are ready and willing to assist us. There is some risk involved, of course, but we have waited a long time for this. We have been careful. We will not fail.-

-And what about that other matter?-

-Ah...Admiral, I'm not sure that's wise.-

-Why?-

-You want us to take her alive. I'm not certain that's going to be possible, at least not so soon. We need to wait for the right time.-

-No. The right time is now. You will do as I say, and you will
not
harm her. If she dies, I will hold you personally responsible. Is that understood?-