Trapped (21 page)

“Clean up this mess befo
re I get back or you’ll be next,
”
he yelled
at us as we stood on the porch.
He didn’t look
back
before
he sped down the dri
veway and out on to the hi-way.

We ran into the
house. John grabbed hold of my mother’s
waist and dragged her
to the couch. He laid her down
and I put a
blanket over her. Luke went to grab a cold, wet cloth
for her face
. John and I began to pick up the glass as Luke curled up beside our mother and sobbe
d silently with her.

I
box
ed
the remaining beer bottles that were scattered around the front porch. My mother would have been extremely embarrassed having the priest h
ere, looking at this mess. S
he didn’t invite him
over
.
He knew on his own that there i
s trouble in this house. I am sure the teachers at school were aware of it too. I could tell by the way they looked at me when I had been away for days at a time. The way they offered me food at lunch time when all I had was an apple or some green beans
I had pulled from the garden. I could tell by t
he way they tried
to make me talk, they would
ask me
numerous
questions on days when I woul
dn’t say a word to anyone.

A
few days after this
latest
episode
I bolted off the
school bus,
swearing to never
return to school again.
I began
to
try to
come up with excuses to stay home as I walked
slowly
up the long driveway. I didn’t want to think about what had happened
that day
. I
had
cried all the way home.

I sat down
on the edge of the driveway, in between
the tall weeds taking over
our front yard. I laid my head down and stared up at the blue sky and
the
white puffy
clouds. I noticed
my brothers walk past
me
. John
glanced my way but kept going.

The afternoon’s nightmare
played before me,
as much as I tried to stop thinking about it I
just
couldn’t
. I stood alone
at the front of the class
room
. I looked down at my cue cards then back up at all the
expectant
faces
,
staring at me
, waiting for me to speak
. Expressionless, they we
re waiting to be entertained. I
worked hard on my speech. I wrote
about my cats and how much I loved them. I ev
en wrote about the kittens I
lost to a male cat that bit the necks of each of them
as they slept
. I thought about Rocky, t
heir mother, and how she cried
for months after
ward
.
I could hear her meowing everywhere she went, like she was trying to call her babies home. I left out the part about my mother crying as she buried them behind the shed as
I watched solemnly with Luke.

I thought my speech was
pretty
good
actually
but I
just
couldn’t say it.
I started to, but my cheeks bega
n to burn
when I spoke
. Tears began to pour
down my face. I shook uncontrollably. I vaguely re
member the teacher encouraging me,
‘just read your speech Natalie’. I think the kids in the class were trying to encourage me
too
. My friend Jason kept smiling at me and nodding his head, like I was supposed to understand some subliminal language. I stared at him as
I began to say my speech again but
I made the mistake of looking away
from him
for
just
a second
.

I caught a glimpse of
my father
,
standing in the middle of the
class
room
. He looked so angry
with me
. He
point
ed
hi
s finger
. “Sit down and sh
ut up!
Don’t make me come over
there,
” h
e shouted at me in front of my whole class. I froze. I began to tremble and cry. I put my head down and walked slowly to my seat. All I could do was sit
down and shut up.

“Sorry daddy,
” I whispered. In reality he wasn’t really there. By the time my heart rate slowed and my temperature cooled I re
alized this. I
had felt
so confused.

I heard a rumbling
as I stretched out
on my back in the tall grass
. I
sat up
quickly to see what
was making
the noise. I couldn’t
see over the
tall grass so
I
ran up the hill towards the front porch
. John took
the lawn mower out and he
had
started to mow
trail
s through
out the lawn
. I waited on the top step
and watched as the maze appeared before me. I smiled and laughed as he neared completion. He turned
off the mower and looked up
at me.

“Come on Nat! Try and get through
it,
”
he shouted at me.
I shrieked as I started out on the path before me. I threw my backpack off and ran in. Unable to see the end of the maze, I took a number of wrong turns, but I just laughed harder as I continued to make my
way
through. I wouldn’t stop
, I didn’t want too. I eventua
lly re
ached the exit. I ran excitedly out o
nto the
wide open field. I smiled, feeling
so happy
that
he made the exit facing the vast empty field. I tumbled onto the ground and looked up at the
big sky. All I could think of i
s the freedom that one day
would be mine. John smiled
as he held his
hand out to me. I grabbed it and
he pull
ed me up. I hugged him quickly.

“T
hank you John! This
is so awesome,
”
I squealed.
We both laughed as we ran
back in, to try and find Luke.

Of course that
joy had been
quickly extinguished when my father arrived home and demanded John go out and ‘finish the job he had started’. It didn’t matter to him that it was
almost midnight. I cried again.

~~~

“She’s laughing again,
” Carlos shouted. Hayden just left the tent to retrieve
s
ome food
. He
rushed
back in when he heard Carlos shout.

“What do you mean laughing again?”
Clive
asked, following Hayden back in to the tent.

“This is the second time we have heard her laughing, faintly
of course, but still laughing,” Carlos said excitedly.
Hayden bent down and listened. A tear drop fe
ll onto his finger as he touched her cheek
.

“
She isn’t laughin
g Carlos, at least she isn’t anymore
,” Hayden sigh
ed.

“Luke is with her right?” Clive asked.

“I believe so. I brought him here. He saw Natali
e. Once I told him what you
suggested, about looking for
a time instead of a place,
he
was
gone,
”
he explained.
Clive looked Natalie over.

“Come, eat, both of you,
” Clive ushered them out.

~~~

When I
opened my eyes Luke
had
vanished
again
. I looked around noticing
t
he maze
has been
mowed
down completely. It appeared as
just a big lawn
.

“Where am I supposed to go
now
?” I asked, wishing some
one would reply with an answer.

“Hayden, I’m trying to get back to you. I miss you
,
” I spoke loudly wishing he
would come find me.
I closed my eyes and a
llowed myself to go to the next
place I thought of. I stil
l do
n’t really u
nderstand what i
s going on
, all I can do is just let go
. I could be in a coma or I could be dead. I could be
stuck
in that in-
between place the spirits have told
me about, but the frustrating difference i
s
that
they could go between the act
ual living world and this one. T
h
ey weren’t trapped
here
like I am
.

“Luke!” I shouted. He i
s my only link to the livin
g
right
now
, I needed him
. I laughed, thinking I am
supposed to be the one helping him.

“You should try and find your body. It’s still in the woods.” I jumped when Luke appeared beside me.

“Ok
, but I’m not sure where I left it
.
When I still remained in my body I didn’t know where I was, I had
been running
, not sure of the direction I
headed in.
Something had been chasing
me,” I tried to remember
what happened and where I was before all of this started happening to me.

“Death chased
you Natalie. You
have
live
d your life
surrounded by it. You seek it. You creep around in dark places searching for it but you are afraid of it aren’t you?” Lu
ke seemed different. He would never talk to me like this.

“You are mistaken. I am not afraid
of dying
. Why are y
ou saying this to me
? If death sought me out
than I k
now I would not
have
be
en
able to hide from it.
No one can hide fro
m
death when it’s after you,
”
I
told him as I looked away
. M
y surroundings began to change
again
.

“Natalie, if I told you that you were dead you would be frightened, you wo
uld be sad. Admit it,
” Luke continued.

“Of course I would be sad. I haven’t had a c
hance to say good bye to Hayden,
”
I tried to be honest with Luke.

“I still want
to l
ive. I want
to experience life.
I want
to experience
a
life with Hayden
,” I cried.

“You’re here
. It won’t be long now. You will see Hayden again
soon
Natalie,
just
don’t give up. Don’t accept this as your fate,
”
he said.

The image of Luke in fron
t of me transformed in to a woman
I haven’t seen in a
very
long time. The
last time I saw her I was in the
hospital. Sh
e
wheeled herself out front my door
in a wheelchair. I saw her fro
m
my bed as she went
past my open door.
She had
stopped to
warn me about someone not being who they appear
ed to be
a
nd
yet
here she was
, imitating my brother.

“Hi
Elizabeth, h
ave you come to give me more confusing advice?” I asked bitterly. I didn’t like being tricked by her.