Treading Water (4 page)

“
That’s enough, Jill!
You’ll not talk to your aunt—or me—like that, do you hear
me?”

Just as Jill started to reply, she turned
green. Clasping her hand over her mouth, she bolted for the
bathroom.

Jack glanced at Frannie before he got up to
follow his daughter. Standing at the open door to the bathroom, he
watched helplessly as she wretched.

Frannie came up behind him. “Go,” she
whispered. “Go to her.”

Hesitating for another second, he ventured
into the bathroom and gathered Jill’s long dark hair into a
ponytail.

“
Go away,” she moaned.
“Leave me alone.”

“
You’re stuck with me.” He
stayed with her through another vicious bout of vomiting as well as
the dry heaves that followed. When it was over, he wiped her face
with a cool washcloth and sat down next to her on the bathroom
floor.

“
I’m never drinking
again.”

Laughing softly, Jack remembered once making
the same vow after a similar incident. “Good.” He put his arm
around her, brought her to rest against him, and was relieved when
she didn’t resist. “Think it’s over?”

“
For now, but there could
be more.”

“
Then we’ll
wait.”

“
Why are you being so nice
to me?”

“
Because you’re
sick.”

“
So I’m not
grounded?”

“
I never said
that.”

She mulled that over for a few minutes. “How
long?”

He hadn’t the foggiest idea. “What would Mom
say?”

“
Um, forever?”

“
That sounds about
right.”

Jill moaned. “Seriously. How long?”

“
How does a month
sound?”

“
Like forever.”

“
But fair in light of the
crime?”

“
I guess.”

He held out his hand. “I’ll take your phone
and keep it safe for the next month.”

“
Oh come on!”

“
As I recall, cell phone
surrender was a key part of Mom’s grounding program.”

“
Why does it have to be
part of yours?”

“
Cough it up.”

She dug it out of her back pocket and
slapped it into his hand.

They sat on the bathroom floor until she
sagged against him, asleep. Somehow, he managed to lift her off the
floor and carry her to the sofa in the family room. Covering her
with a blanket, he kissed her forehead. Then he got comfortable on
the other sofa.

Just in case she needed him again during the
night.

Leaving the port of Point Judith on the
Friday night ferry, Jack stood on the bow and watched the ship
sluice through the foamy water. He took a drink from his cup of
coffee, wishing for a shot of whiskey instead. “Here goes nothing,”
he whispered as he turned away from the rail to join the girls
inside.

As usual, Kate sat by herself, strumming the
guitar she never left home without these days. Maggie was attached
to her iPod, and Jill had curled up with a book on one of the
benches. An obnoxiously large pile of duffel bags sat on the floor
next to them. Jack had been so glad they were coming with him that
he’d chosen not to make an issue of how much stuff they’d brought
for one weekend.

He had no plan, per se, for
when they got to the island. All he knew was that he had to
do
something
to
get their attention, to reconnect with daughters he’d somehow
managed to grow estranged from while living under the same
roof.

The ferry backed into Block Island’s Old
Harbor just after six. Disembarking with their two tons of luggage,
Jack and the girls piled into the old station wagon he kept on the
island. Their silence during the short ride to the south end grated
on his already frayed nerves.

“
Another busy weekend on
the Block,” he said, feeling stupid and desperate as the words came
out of his mouth.

More silence.

“
What do you guys want for
dinner?”

“
Pizza from Aldo’s,” Maggie
said.

“
Aldo’s it is,” Jack said,
smiling at her in the mirror.

It was just pizza, but it was a start.

By Saturday afternoon, Jack was ready to
shoot himself. With each of them immersed in some form of
technology—iPods, computers, cell phones, televisions—they were
doing an excellent job of ignoring him. The cowardly part of him
wanted to go up to his room and kill time until they could go home
the next day. However, the coward was overruled by the inner voice
telling him he’d already squandered too much time with them.

Bracing himself for outrage, he stepped into
the huge living room that overlooked the ocean. “Hey, guys.” He
waved a hand at Kate to get her attention, since she had her
earbuds in. “Let’s go for a ride.”

“
I’m watching something,”
Maggie said.

“
I was just about to take a
shower,” Jill added. She’d been only slightly friendlier to him
since their interlude on the bathroom floor. He took the progress
where he could get it.

“
We’re going for a ride,”
he said more forcefully this time. “And Kate, bring your guitar,
will you?”

Sending him a quizzical look, Kate did as he
asked. Though they grumbled all the way, they found shoes and coats
and trooped out to the car.

As Jack drove toward the bluffs on the
island’s north end, he so hoped he was doing the right thing. He
got them as close as he could in the car. They’d have to walk the
rest of the way.

“
Am I bringing the guitar?”
Kate asked with a wary glance at the rugged trail.

“
Yes, please.”

As Jack watched them exchange puzzled looks,
his gut clenched with nerves. “Listen, guys, I know I haven’t given
you much reason to trust me or to believe in me, but I’m asking for
thirty minutes.”

Silence.

“
I need half an hour with
no attitudes, no anger, no dispositions. Can you give me
that?”

“
What’re we going to do?”
Maggie asked, her expression open and accepting.

Jack smiled and tugged on her ponytail.
“Come with me, and I’ll show you.”

He led them up the rocky trail to the place
where he and Clare first made love, where they’d first talked of
marriage, and where they’d come to make the biggest decisions of
their married life. Here he’d convinced her the time was right for
him and Jamie to leave Neil Booth’s firm and start their own
company, to move their growing family from Boston to Newport and
begin a whole new life. Later, she’d brought him here to tell him
about their unplanned third child who turned out to be one of the
best surprises of his life.

At the top of the path, the Atlantic
stretched out before them. Jack could think of no better place for
Clare’s daughters to say good-bye to their mother.

“
This was your place with
Mom,” Jill said quietly, taking in the view of the
ocean.

“
Yes.”

“
I remember coming here
once with you, when I was really young,” Jill said. “Mom told me it
was your special place.”

Jack gestured to a grassy patch. “Sit with
me?” He waited until they were settled and dropped down next to
Kate. “Whenever we were out here on the island, Mom and I would try
to get up here to have a chat. Sometimes we talked about serious
stuff; other times we just chilled and watched the water for a
while. Often we talked about you guys.” He looked up to find them
hanging on his every word and could see the hunger on their faces.
They were desperate for any part of their mother they could still
hang on to.

Forcing himself to press on, Jack took a
deep breath and tried to get it together. He’d been unprepared for
the wallop of emotion that came with returning to this place.
“Before the accident, when I knew something was wrong, I should’ve
brought her here. She wouldn’t talk to me about it at home, but
perhaps…if we’d come here…”

“
Maybe it was something she
needed to work out on her own,” Kate said.

“
That’s possible,” Jack
conceded, wanting so badly to believe it. “But I need you to know
that I wish I’d tried harder to figure out what was bothering
her.”

“
We wish we’d tried harder,
too,” Jill said.

Her sisters nodded in agreement.

Touched by their confession, he turned to
Kate. “Will you play something for us? Something that reminds you
of Mom?”

“
I know just the thing.”
She launched into a familiar tune that made her father and sisters
smile. “Remember her singing
so
loud
?”

“
And so
bad!
” the others chimed in, laughing at the
memory.

Kate played
Landslide
, and Jack
couldn’t believe how very good she’d gotten since the last time he
heard her play. Clare had loved the Stevie Nicks song, and he
wished she could’ve heard their daughter sing it. Kate had chosen
the perfect song. The last year had been just like standing at the
bottom of a landslide.

She played the last note and glanced at him,
a shy smile gracing her pretty face. “That was beautiful, honey.
Your voice is so lovely.”

“
Thank you.”

“
Can I say something?” Jill
asked.

“
Of course,” he said,
pleased that they had picked up on the reason he’d brought them
here.

“
I had to memorize a poem
for school recently. We could pick anything we wanted, so I chose
Mom’s favorite.”

“
Tennyson,” Jack
said.

She nodded. “It reminded me of her and of
what our family has been through in the last year:

Though much is taken, much abides; and
though

We are not now that strength which in old
days

Moved heaven and earth, that which we are,
we are—

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in
will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to
yield.”

Watching his beautiful, brave daughter so
eloquently speak the words her mother had loved moved Jack to
tears. He cleared his throat and hoped he could say what they
needed to hear. “That’s exactly what we have to do, you know? We
have to continue to be a family.”

“
Everything’s different
now,” Maggie said sadly.

“
Yes, it is. And as much as
we wish it wasn’t, we have to find a way to go on without
Mom.”

“
I really wish we didn’t
have to,” Maggie said.

“
So do I, honey. But here’s
the thing… Mom always took care of you guys, and I let her. It was
easier for me to hang back and let her do the heavy lifting than it
was for me to get in there and get my hands dirty with you
guys.”

They giggled at the words he used, but he
had their attention. “That’s not the kind of father I want to be
anymore. I know this is another big change on top of so many
others, but from now on, I’m in charge at home. Frannie’s there to
help us out, but she’s not responsible for you guys. I am. If you
want to go somewhere or do something, you ask me. When I’m at work
or out of town, of course you can check in with her, but I always
want to know where you are and who you’re with. Agreed?”

Their mumbled replies indicated their
agreement.

“
I know I haven’t been the
world’s best father, but I really want to fix that. I hope you’ll
let me try.”

Maggie moved closer to him and rested her
head on his shoulder.

He slipped an arm around her.

“
Can I sing a song that
reminds me of Mom?” she asked.

“
Absolutely.”

In a small voice, she sang
the theme song from
Barney
.

The others smiled, remembering Clare singing
the happy-family song to mend hurt feelings after dustups between
sisters.

“
We were a happy family,”
Maggie said, her voice catching.

“
We will be again.” Jack
brushed a kiss over her silky dark hair. “I promise. We will be
again.”

For the first time in a long time, he had
reason to hope. They’d taken the first, most important step on what
would no doubt be a long journey. But they’d taken the step, and he
was filled with relief.

Chapter 3

When Jack walked into the well-appointed
offices of Harrington Booth Associates for the first time in
fourteen months, he was hit with a familiar surge of pride.

He and Jamie started HBA after learning
everything they could from Neil Booth during their seven years with
him. Neil had been disappointed when they declined his offer to
take over his firm as he contemplated retirement. They’d longed for
something simpler than the fast-paced, high-profile positions they
held in Neil’s firm. Over time, though, HBA had grown a reputation
to rival even Neil’s.

Spotting the framed silver dollar under the
company’s name on the inside wall, Jack smiled at the memory of
flipping it with Jamie to determine which one of them would come
first in the company name. Only when Jack won for the third time
did Jamie concede defeat.

Before Clare’s accident,
Jack wouldn’t have dreamed of taking more than a week of vacation
at a time.
Proves no one is
indispensable
, he thought with a small
smile as several of his employees welcomed him back.